


Rear Window

by jesbakescookies



Category: The Walking Dead & Related Fandoms, The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: AU Verse, AU fanfiction, Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Drama, Drama & Romance, F/M, Foul Language, Murder Mystery, Mystery, Negan Being Negan, Smut, alfred hitchcock inspiration, alternative universe, no zombies, who done it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-26
Updated: 2019-06-24
Packaged: 2020-03-19 22:30:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 85,642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18979642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jesbakescookies/pseuds/jesbakescookies
Summary: Negan's life was in a downward spiral until Kayla moved into the apartment across the courtyard. What will he do when he can't look away from the reclusive beauty and the outside world begins to bleed into his walled off sanctuary?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a Negan/OC fiction featuring my character Kayla Walsh. If you have been reading Without Darkness you are familiar with her, if you haven't it's not a problem, these fics are not related other than the characters.
> 
> This is going to be an AU fanfic without zombies. It is marked mature, for its swearing aka Negan, smut and other probably offensive things. Read with caution if you have delicate sensibilities.
> 
> I do not own the Walking Dead etc etc. All non-canon and OC's are mine. I have also borrowed inspiration/name from Alfred Hitchcock's Rear Window. This fic is meant for entertainment purposes.
> 
> Please follow, favorite and review! I love to hear from everybody.
> 
> ENJOY

"Cock sucking. Donkey fucking assholes." Negan growled chucking the paperwork at the man in front of him. "Those dick holes aren't getting rid of me that fucking easy. I'll have my goddamn lawyer pegging all of you by Monday."

The lawyer wearing wire-rimmed glasses and a cheap brown suit was from Negan's employer. He sat across from him with a scolding frown and droned on as though Negan cared. "I assure you everything that has been decided has been done per your signed contract with Saint Alexandria High School."

Grinding his teeth, Negan leaned forward and growled, "I assure you that I can find out where a weaselly little chode like yourself lives. I'm not signing shit and I'm not resigning. It was a fucking car accident. I didn't fucking murder anyone and I sure as shit didn't diddle some fucking student. You can't fire me for crashing my car."

"Sir, your contract clearly states-."

"Shove the contract right up your puckered asshole man." Negan shouted pointing at the door. "Get the fuck out before I twist your head off and shit down your throat!"

The other man sighed, shoving the paperwork in his shiny briefcase. "You can't stop this from happening Negan. The board knows it wasn't just an accident and with your record, they have the legal right to let you go."

Leaning forward aggressively, Negan hissed, "Get. Out."

After the door closed Negan rolled his wheelchair to it, locking it angrily. "Fucking fuckers." He sneered, pushing himself into the kitchen, knocking his injured leg on a cabinet door. Cursing a string of vulgar expletives under his breath, he reached up as far as he could, trying to grasp the bottle of whiskey in the top cupboard. It was the only thing that settled the nagging anger and self-hatred, there it sat inches away from his fingertips.

"Bullshit." Negan huffed, collapsing back into the too low seat as his leg throbbed painfully. Yanking open the fridge, he settled for a beer, popping the top off on the arm of his wheelchair. Gulping it down he seethed as he thought about what the nerdy bastard was saying before he left. Negan did have a record at the school, parents complaining he was too hard on their precious kids. Children complaining he didn't let them get away with being little assholes or reward everyone for just participating. He wasn't a soppy pussy who kissed their boo boo's better and told them they were special little snowflakes. He was a hard ass who expected them to work for their grades and positions on the baseball team. Nothing in life was free so why give them a false reality.

"Just a bunch of goddamn pussies." He grunted, steering himself into the living room after grabbing the whole six pack from the fridge. Dropping it on the coffee table he punched the power button, turning the giant TV to ESPN. They were dissecting the shitshow of a game the night before, the men shouting over each other about a controversial call by the umpire. Halfway through his six-pack his phone chirped notifying him of a text message.

 _"Sign the papers Negan."_ -Vice Principal Mitchell.

 _"Suck my cock Bitchell. I'll sign them when your balls drop and you come over and make me."_ -Negan

 _"There's no reason for that kind of language Negan. It's part of the reason you're in this situation. Sign the papers and get some help."_ \- Vice Principal Mitchell

 _"Excuse the shit out of me. I thought we were in the goddamn United States of fucking America where I can tell a bunch of dick holes what shit-tastic hypocrites they are. Like you don't want to tell all those little shits to get their heads out of their asses. Fuck you and fuck all those douchebags in their $2 suits you hired."_ \- Negan

 _"Mr Nelson will come by again. Sign the papers, don't make this any harder than it has to be."_ \- Vice Principal Mitchell.

 _"Bitchell I have half a mind to show you how hard I can make it. Tell that four eyed fuck if his shadow hits my doormat again I'll make him a eunuch. Then I'll feed you his shriveled up sack as a side to a shit sandwich."-_ Negan

Negan chuckled deeply at his vulgarity; gulping the last of his beer. "Goddamn pussies think they can fire me?!" He hollered, chucking the bottle at the wall with a crash. "Can't fuckin' fire me. I'll show those fucking fucks."

 

* * *

Negan's eyes peeled open near noon, the man stretched out on his black leather sofa. His shattered leg was aching, the knee joint feeling swollen and inflamed. Groaning he forcibly pushed himself upright, his hands testing the joint for swelling. Grunting as a particularly sharp pain shot from the joint down his newly repaired shin.

"Cocksuckingbitch." He snarled while moving into the chair, the limb dropping too heavily on the floor. With even more struggle, he got himself into the bathroom and drained his dragon.

Once in his kitchen he muttered a few more curses as he realized his fridge was nearly empty and he had no way to fill it. Not only did he not have his car anymore, aka horrific car "accident", but seeing as it was a "drunk as fuck" related incident, Negan no longer had a drivers license. He was lucky to get a good enough lawyer who could squeeze a time served bargain out of the prosecutor. His lengthy hospital and rehab stint for his shattered leg and subsequent surgeries saved his ass from jail.

It had been his first arrest and with his occupation and the recent loss of his wife, the soft liberal judge let him off with a fine and a short probation. The probation had been over before he'd even left the physical rehabilitation center. He wouldn't be allowed to drive for four years but it was better than spending four years trying not to drop the soap.

Glancing at his phone charging on the counter top Negan sighed heavily, rubbing his scruffy face before giving in. Picking it up he texted Sherry a request for a favor, Negan's version of a request being less than polite.

" _Go grocery shopping for my broken ass. I prefer 2% milk and if you show up with fucking store brand cereal in those shitty horse feed bags I'll slap the freckles off you. PS any fucking day now would be great."_ – Negan

" _Gee. Hi Negan I'm great, thanks for asking. Oh of course I'm not busy with work or the kids. I'd love to take care of an over grown man child who decided to fuck his already fucked life up more by driving head first into a brick wall. I couldn't think of anything else I'd like to do than be ordered around by some asshole."_ –Sherry

" _Fuck you Sherry. My legs broken and I'm starving to fucking death. Never fucking mind. Don't worry, I'll just continue with my liquid diet."_ \- Negan

" _Suck it up buttercup. I'll bring you food when I am good and ready and by ready I mean after I've picked up Stevie and Madeline, taken them to soccer and ballet, fed them dinner and put them to bed. Then maybe, maybe I'll stop at the store."_ \- Sherry

 _''I'll remember this the next time you're crying about needing cash for your shitheads braces or the next time you're shit stain of a husband needs bail."_ \- Negan

Negan pushed send and glared at the little screen just aching for his wife's best friend to deny that shit. Sherry and Lucille had been friends for years and the woman's husband, Dwight, had always been a dirtbag. They'd helped her out of debt numerous times, shelling out cash for bail or medical bills. It was a dick move but Negan felt he was owed something for all the goddamn trouble he went too, to help the woman over the years.

" _You're an asshole."-_ Sherry

" _Great you're catching on. Now if you could apply your-fucking-self maybe you could dump that shithead and stop by the store for my goddamn Honey Nut Cheerios."_ -Negan

Smirking he watched as his screen stayed black, Sherry obviously giving up on having a conversation with him.

"Bitch." He grumbled under his breath before cracking open a bottle of water, the only thing in his fridge besides ketchup and a mysterious takeout box he didn't recall taking out.

Gulping it down halfway, Negan sunk into the chair while glowering out the window. Sherry was right, he had fucked up his already fucked life but Negan couldn't find it in himself to give a shit. The whole world was fucked anyways so why bother try to hold it together.

 

* * *

While staring out the window, Negan watched a moving truck pull up. Two large men hopped out of the front, as another car pulled in next to it. The men raised the truck roll door and waited as the driver of the small sedan climbed out. Negan's eyebrow cocked high as he watched the woman with dark chocolate hair climb out, the shiny locks thrown into a haphazard bun. She wore a plain white tank top and a pair of jeans that were more holes than fabric. The petite woman grabbed a few bags from her car and motioned for them to follow her. Negan watched as she led them to an apartment across the courtyard, climbing the stairs to the second floor. Her apartment was directly across from his, their patios no more than a hundred feet apart.

He watched them enter and the woman show them the rooms they needed to bring her belongings into. Negan could see her smile and laugh, the men grinning back at her.

Watching the only thing interesting going on in his life, Negan shook his head in disbelief. "Pathetic fucking peeping tom pussy." He grunted, as he continued to watch as the men worked and the brunette carried armfuls of clothing inside. There wasn't much, it seemed as if she lived simply. Nothing like what Lucille would've had. There weren't any ornate bullshit couches that hurt your ass to sit on or giant paintings of shit a two year old could paint.

He smirked at the record player the men hauled in while the woman carried a milk crate of vinyl. It only took a couple hours and soon the moving men left and the woman sauntered around her place, organizing things. The first thing she did was set up her record player; the sound of bluesy jazz came rolling out her open patio door. Sitting in the shadow, obscured by a curtain panel, Negan watched as she bopped around the small space. He couldn't stop the easy grin from sliding on his unshaven face as the limber woman swiveled and dipped, her lips moving as she put dishes away and unpacked books.

Negan jumped in his seat when a knock sounded on the door, a voice calling out. "Open the damn door you stupid ape."

Rolling slowly, he smirked as he pulled the door open wide and found Sherry standing on his doorstep with two overflowing bags of groceries.

"There's enough to live for more than a week so I hope I don't hear from you for a while." She remarked as she strode in throwing things in the fridge and cupboards. Sherry was a firecracker, her short brown hair might as well have been red. She had been a friend of Sherry's for years, both having met in college. Negan used to be jealous of how close they were, not that he would ever admit to such a weakness.

"Nice to see you Sherry." Negan sneered, his tone nowhere close to polite.

"Don't be an asshole Negan. I'm doing you a favor." Sherry complained, her voice turning into a buzzing sound that Negan barely registered. Instead he looked out the window at the girl on her patio, her voice floating over as she spoke on her cellphone. She paced a few times before leaning on the railing, her shirt dipping to show off delicious cleavage. Negan shifted in his seat, licking his bottom lip at the luscious curves coated in smooth skin.

'I wonder what color her panties are. Pink... no, no.. White.' He thought with a grin. 'The kind with the little bow in the front-.'

"Negan!" Sherry shouted from the kitchen, her voice like nails on a chalkboard.

"What the ever loving fuck do you want?" He snapped, turning around to look at her. She stood with her hands on her hips, her lips twisted obnoxiously as she shook her head like a scolding mother. "You look like shit."

"So fucking what? It's not like I can go anywhere. I need to call a fucking crane to get me out of this fucking place."

"I told you to stay with us until you're mobile." She spoke, her voice far too genuine for Negan. He didn't feel as if he deserved comfort, he preferred Sherry's snark and bad attitude, to her pity filled eyes and tone.

"And I told you, I'd rather be fisted by a cactus than live with your half retarded husband and two whiny brats."

"They aren't whiny and you know it. Stop being such a dick. Lucille would be so pissed at your damn attitude."

"Lucille's _dead_." He growled, his rage getting the better of him. "She's fucking dead so there's no fucking point to living my life by her goddamn high standards anymore."

"Negan-." Sherry sighed, her brow furrowed with frustration and eyes saddened.

"No. No, Negan followed by a shitty guilt trip or meaningless words of sympathy."

"I wasn't going to do either of those. I was going to say, pull your fucking head out of your ass. You need to fix your shit. Your wife died... its..." Sherry stopped and shook her head sharply, her eyes watering as she thought of her friend. Looking away, Negan ground his teeth and scowled to hold in the clawing of emotion in his throat. He was not fucking crying, not in front of Sherry, not ever again.

"It's horrible." Her voice shook but she swallowed her emotion down. "It's horrible but you can't throw the rest of your life away on anger and booze."

"Speaking of, can you bring that bottle down so I can fucking reach it?" he asked, completely ignoring anything remotely similar to genuine concern.

"Negan!"

"What?" He growled, throwing her a glare. "Yes my life sucks. I should get over it but guess fucking what Sherry, it's not gonna happen. I won't be skipping along singing showtunes with rainbows shooting out my ass. Lucille's fucking dead and my shit-tastic job is firing me."

"They're what?" Sherry's voice became shrill and grating, making Negan grimace.

"You heard me. And you know what else? I have nosy fucking assholes trying to make me feel shit I don't." He growled, pointing to the cabinet door. "Now if you can give me my bottle of Jack I plan on drinking my breakfast, lunch and dinner. Hell maybe I'll splurge on dessert too."

"What're you gonna do?" She asked, leaning against the kitchen countertop, her arms crossed.

Rolling his eyes Negan grumbled, "I just fucking told you."

"No Negan, about your job. Do they have grounds?"

Shrugging his broad shoulders, he rasped, "Well let's just say all those pussies I coach have written in complaints one too many times and that they aren't fond of a teacher drunkenly driving his car into a brick wall."

"I don't think it's the accident, I think it's the reason for it." Sherry muttered, her eyebrow raised haughtily.

"Shut up." He growled deeply, pointing at her angrily "It was a fucking accident. I was drunk and my foot slipped."

"Keep lying to yourself Negan. Look I'll come over this weekend and help you clean up but seriously stop drinking so much. It's not healthy, especially with your pain meds."

"What-the-fuck-ever. I can handle my shit, you go handle yours."

"Jesus Christ Negan would it kill you to at least be thankful I'm helping you at all?" Sherry huffed, picking up her purse and car keys. "You can't be a dick forever and expect people to stick around."

"See that's where you're wrong. I don't fucking expect anyone to stick around." He ground out his eyes angry. "I may be a drunk but I'm not fucking delusional."

 

* * *

Twinkle toes had been dancing around her apartment all day, the music varying widely but never straying to modern pop bullshit. Negan couldn't stop watching her little hips and light feet. It wouldn't have been such a big deal, new neighbors always brought attention but Negan's attention was far from innocent. After tugging himself off a second time in an hour, he had to physically remove himself from the sight of her perky ass perched on a ladder hanging pictures.

"Fuck." He groaned as he lowered himself into his chair after using the restroom. Pulling his pills down, Negan popped a couple pain meds and headed into the kitchen for food. Sherry had actually hooked him up with a good amount of groceries, the woman obviously wanting nothing to do with his cranky ass anytime soon.

He'd been sitting in the living room eating a sandwich while watching Deadliest Catch when he heard angry voices outside. Setting his food aside, Negan rolled to the window and saw the new tenant in the courtyard having a loud argument with a man. She wasn't too happy to see him, her face twisted into a sneer as she smacked his hands away.

"Go fuck yourself Kyle!" The petite woman snapped, her finger pointing at the parking lot, "or better yet go fuck _Julie_."

"C'mon Kay. It didn't mean anything." The chump pleaded, his head bowed trying to look sincere.

"Fuck that guy sweetheart." Negan muttered watching as she slapped his hand away again.

"Leave Kyle." She growled, turning on her heel to stomp upstairs again. Negan watched the guy chuck a bouquet of flowers into a garbage can before striding away.

Chuckling Negan stayed poised to see the woman return to her apartment. He caught sight of her storming inside, her mouth moving as she talked to herself. After a few angry paces in her living room, the woman he now knew as Kay, stood in her kitchen drinking a beer. She leaned against the counter and sipped her beverage, her neck arched beautifully.

"Good idea doll." He muttered, cracking open his own while watching her over the bottle. The woman across the way paced in her apartment drinking her beer until it seemed she calmed down. Sitting on her patio, the dark haired beauty typed away on a laptop propped on her knees while another bottle sat open on a folding table.

Negan watched and listened to ESPN recount the game he missed earlier in the afternoon while being a pervert. He wanted to introduce himself to Kay but it wasn't as if they could accidentally run into each other without Negan rolling his ass to the other side of the complex for the crappy elevator. It was hardly ever used and half the time ended up stuck between floors. The thought of joining her on his own patio and greeting her crossed his mind but he didn't want to be the weirdo yelling across the courtyard. He also didn't want her to realize just how much he could see into her apartment without any drapes installed. The large expanses of glass let him view pretty much every room besides her bathroom. It was like a zoo enclosure that housed a sex kitten. Negan wasn't about to give up his ticket to the show.

Deciding to take a break from peeping, Negan moved his broken ass into the bathroom to try and clean up. He hadn't showered since leaving the rehab facility when he had nurses to help. He wasn't exactly sure how he'd pull it off but figured he'd be relying on bum baths until his leg became more mobile.

"Maybe Kay is the nursing type." He mused out loud with a chuckle, the idea of the petite girl sliding soapy fingers over his body waking up his dick.

"Enough." He grumbled, looking down at the tent in his pants "no more five finger shuffle today big guy. I'm gonna chafe."

Pulling off his shirt before struggling with his pants, Negan filled the sink with water and began washing up while sitting on the closed toilet seat. Once semi-clean, he leaned over the vanity and scrubbed his face and hair as best as possible. With that out of the way he rolled himself into the bedroom, pulling on new boxer briefs and found a pair of track pants that buttoned up the legs. He figured they'd be easy to get on and off, smiling at his stellar idea. "Fuckin, genius." He congratulated himself.

 

* * *

Negan had signed the papers after consulting with a lawyer. There wasn't much he could do with the school claiming his behavior was reckless and broke the contract prohibiting behavior unbecoming of an educator, i.e. getting drunk and plowing a pristine 67 Mustang into a brick wall. There would be a sizable severance package but Negan was still out of a job and crippled for the time being.

Five days into his self-imposed house arrest and Negan was obsessed with his new neighbor. He discovered her name was Kayla Walsh when a pizza was delivered to his door rather than hers, their apartment numbers being accidentally transposed by the pizza boy. The Asian man seemed flustered when Negan answered the door wearing nothing but boxers, a baseball bat propped on his broad shoulder. The poor kid stammered out the order, double cheese-double peppers, while Negan grinned widely at the kid's nerves. It was comforting to know that despite the mangled limb, he could still make other men piss their pants.

Kayla Walsh liked spicy foods and cheese, she danced to bluesy jazz on rainy days and listened to death metal while working on her laptop. He discovered she worked from home, only leaving to buy groceries or stopping at the local coffee shop, even though she had her own coffee machine. He noticed she had a penchant for fresh flowers, new ones appearing on her tiny dinette every Sunday, and her favorite being tulips.

Negan knew she preferred to laze around in comfortable clothes because she would change as soon as she came home and hesitated until last minute to get dressed. Kayla had an extensive band t-shirt collection from classics to bizarre bands Negan had to google. He spent an unhealthy amount of time watching videos of random punk bands from Scotland or mid century blues artists, his advertising algorithm was permanently skewed.

Negan was aware his newest hobby was beyond appropriate, it was all kinds of wrong and creepy but he couldn't find it in himself to stop. He still drank a lot but it seemed to have lessened as the dark haired beauty now distracted his mind. Rather than being consumed by guilt and self-hate, he was filled with thoughts about the petite girl and her pert titties. Negan figured he was only substituting one bad habit for another but felt at least he couldn't die from staring at a hot girl dancing to Etta James. Well maybe a coronary from cumming too hard while she was bent over doing yoga. At least he'd die with a giant goddamn grin on his face.


	2. Chapter 2

Once Negan started watching Kayla living her ordinary, yet still extraordinary life, he couldn't help but notice all the other tenants nearby. Diagonally across from his bedroom window he could see the elderly couple who argued like, well an old married couple. She was a nag who harped morning, noon and night. The husband, a pushover, who wore a fishing cap and a multitude of Hawaii print shirts, even in the winter. The incessant arguments they had were similar to that of an old sitcom from Negan's youth, all under handed yet filled with wry humor. The wife smoked a carton a week at least, the smell rolling out of their windows in the summer heat made him gag. The old bitty did not seem the type to give a shit though.

On the first floor Negan occasionally watched the dark skinned woman with a gym built in her living room. She would tie back her long braids and punch a leather speed bag for hours. The most entertaining time was her work with a sword. If he didn't have such a hard-on for Kayla he could probably enjoy the ebony beauty in a dirtier way than just appreciating her fitness prowess, despite the fear of her cutting his balls off with her vicious blade.

Above the ninja lived a young couple with a new baby, a very loud, noisy baby. When Negan couldn't sleep he often watched one of the exhausted looking parents wandering in their living room. Sometimes one or both would leave in the middle of the night, driving around the block before coming back, sleep walking to their place. He couldn't help but be thankful Lucille had never been knocked up. The kid was cute and all but how they lived without sleep and any kind of peace and quiet, Negan would never know.

The lady with five cats was also a pretty entertaining neighbor. She spent hours talking to her cats and on some occasions dressing them up in ridiculous costumes. He was tempted to call animal protective services, he figured it had to be illegal to do something so degrading. The plump woman was also a baker, her kitchen counters sometimes covered in cupcakes and pies. When she spent days creating tons of pastries, Negan sat salivating at the sweet and delicious aromas. He would give his left nut to get a daily supply of baked goods from the woman. The fact that he would become a huge fatty didn't even dissuade him.

The weirdest neighbor by far though was the freak below the old couple. He was tall and lean, with sparsely scattered hair on top while a thick fumanchu mustache framed his scowling mouth. There wasn't anything specific about the guy that made Negan think of him as a total weirdo, it was more of a vibe. He would sit for hours in his living room staring at the TV, the damn thing dark and silent. He grew at least a dozen tomato plants on his patio and ate two of them at every meal. The weirdo only drank whiskey but he was never visibly drunk, his hands and feet steady as steel.

There was a captivating war being fought between the crazy cat lady's huge tabby and the mustachioed dude, the feline using the man's veggie garden as a toilet. Negan had seen him trying to grab the damn thing by its tail as the cat violated his tomatoes once again. He wasn't sure what the balding man did for a living but he stuck to a predictable schedule, out at eight in the morning and back at six. Everyday and every week.

Negan wondered why he never noticed the odd collection of strangers he lived next to but now that he did, he couldn't stop watching. He didn't feel as lonely and it was almost comforting to know that there were crazier fucks than him in the world.

 

* * *

"You have to leave your place sometime." Sherry scolded, her voice echoing as she talked to him over speakerphone. Negan could hear the kids arguing in the background as well as a blaring cartoon tv show.

"How the fuck can you think straight over there Sher?" Negan bitched, holding the phone away from his ear as the little girl screeched.

"Language Negan." She snapped as her kids "oh'd" in the background.

"Uncle Negan said a bad word!" Madeline shouted, her voice high pitched and grating.

"Put a cork in it Shortstack ." Negan barked but smiled as she giggled at her nickname. "Stop driving your mom crazy you little shits."

Sherry sighed and ignored his curse before continuing to convince him to leave the apartment. "Look Negan all I'm saying is you need to get out. Let me come pick you up and you can have dinner here with me and the kids."

"Is he gonna be there?" Negan grumbled, his head tilting to the ceiling as he began to give in to her pleas. He wasn't happy about it but knew Sherry was only trying to help. Not that he'd make it easy for her or anything though.

"Dwight's away on business." She replied tersely, the tone letting Negan know Dwight was probably either on a bender or in lock up.

"Business… riiiiight. Ok well fine. You better cook something good or you're driving my ass to Burger King." He countered, rolling himself towards the bathroom to get cleaned up.

"Your favorite. Spaghetti and meatballs."

"Fine." He grunted, rubbing his belly in thought of a real meal. Negan wouldn't admit it but he would've been fine with her fixing anything as long as it was home cooked. It was something else he missed Lucille for, her ability to keep him fed like an adult. Negan wasn't sure how many more sandwiches he could eat before he turned into one.

 

* * *

Using the newly acquired shower stall stool, Negan washed up. He felt like a complete pussy having to sit down while showering but his knee and shin were truly screwed. It would be weeks before he would even be allowed to put full pressure on his foot.

After showering and trimming his beard, the man deciding the scruff suited him as long as he kept it managed, Negan popped a beer open and watched his neighbor. It blew his mind that Kayla lived with her curtains open, it spoke volumes about her. She was too damn trusting and probably utterly oblivious of how attractive she was. Negan figured she must be from a smaller, safer town where a single female could leave her blinds open and not fear a creepy neighbor stalking them. Snorting at the thought he gulped his beer, noticing Sherry should be arriving. As soon as he thought about it, her knock rattled the door.

Upon opening it, he found her holding another few grocery bags and wearing a frown. "What, you're not shaving anymore?" She asked, brushing past him to the kitchen. Rolling his eyes at her instant nagging, he joked with a lecherous grin, "Everybody loves a mustache ride Sherry."

"Gross." She muttered, shoving new produce into the fridge. "I got you more stuff and I'll send leftovers tonight."

Nodding, he kept silent as he watched Kayla move around her kitchen, the counters covered in ingredients as she cooked.

"New neighbor?" Sherry asked, making Negan jump slightly in his chair. Grunting he rolled his shoulder. "I guess." He muttered, his neck heating as he noticed Sherry's smirk. "You done yet? I'm fucking starving."

Rolling her eyes, she grabbed his wheelchair and began pushing him out the door. Irritated by her help, Negan slapped her hands away and complained, "I can do it myself, Jesus. I'm not a cripple."

"Coulda fooled me." Sherry snapped, her eyes narrowed as they travelled the long hallway to the elevator. "You know life is easier when you're not an asshole. People tend to like you more when you're not being a dick."

"I don't give a fuck." Negan grunted, pushing his chair up an incline towards the metal doors. "I've always been a dick and I've done just fine."

"Oh yeah, you're the pinnacle of just fine." Sherry deadpanned, her arms crossed and hip cocked to the side as she stared down at him.

"Shut you're trap already woman." He grumbled while pushing the button for the ground level. "Do you want me to come to dinner?"

"Not really but I'm trying to be nice." She responded dryly before smiling.

Snorting he smirked back at her, "See and that is why I don't bother being nice. You only end up dealing with assholes like me who don't appreciate it."

"You appreciate it." She replied as they exited the apartment and headed for her vehicle. "You just don't know how to show it with out being a snide jerk."

Negan climbed into her car as she folded his chair and shoved it in the trunk. Climbing inside the car, Sherry started it as Negan broke down and admitted his gratitude. "Fine. Thanks for the food and shit. Feel better?"

"Immensely. My life's complete now Negan. However could I have gone on without that stellar thank you." She crooned, her eyes twinkling.

"You're fucking welcome." Negan grunted, leaning his seat back to make room for his long legs. "Now put food in me."

 

* * *

Sitting at the dining table with Sherry and her kids, Negan shoveled in pasta as if he hadn't eaten in years. Madeleine kept snickering at his slurping of noodles. "Negan." Sherry grumbled, "You're teaching them bad habits."

"No Sher Bear I think it's some other dickhead that has taught your brats bad habits."

"Language and don't call them brats."

"Yeah Uncle Negan. I'm not a brat." The little girl complained, her little arms crossing tightly. "I'm a good girl."

Snorting he quipped, "Is that why you're grounded right now for hitting kids at school? You're definitely Daddy's little girl."

"Negan!" Sherry snapped, her eyes flaring with anger but laced with hurt. "Stop it."

"Just saying." He muttered, sucking up another noodle before wiping his mouth on the back of his hand. Lucille would roll over in her grave if she witnessed what a slob he'd become.

"Well stop talking." The woman growled, handing him a napkin. "And could you at least try to eat like an adult? There's more sauce on your face than in your mouth."

"Yeah well I don't normally swallow." He joked, his eyebrows wiggled while he licked his lip gratuitously. Sherry only shook her head but he could tell she was holding back a laugh.

"How can you eat without swallowing?" Stevie asked, his brow furrowed. Negan chuckled deeply and replied, "It takes time but with enough practice.."

"NEGAN!"

"Alright, alright." He spoke with a gruff laugh, his hands up in defeat. "Never mind kid I was joking around. How about you show me that new game you were yapping about. Something about zombies or some shit."

 

* * *

The haunting voice of Connie Francis spilled out of Kayla's open patio door, the sheer curtains she had finally hung were open as the cool summer breeze rolled in. He sat in his bedroom, the window shaded by a large tree making his gaze hidden. A twinge of guilt had Negan squirming in his chair uncomfortably but he couldn't tear his dark gaze away. She was dancing again, her hips swaying as she sang along with the country legend. Negan could almost pretend Kayla was singing to him as she moved around her living room.

He wasn't sure what she was doing but there were pieces of paper strewn out on the ground, every once in awhile she'd pick one up and place it somewhere else. Watching her work on whatever project it was while the music played had Negan feeling as if he were witnessing a play, her living room a stage as she serenaded him.

I got the feelin I'm fallin'

Like a star up in the blue

Like I was fallin' off Niagara

In a paddle boat canoe

I got the feelin' I'm a fallin'

And it's all because of you

Like I was walkin' on a tight rope

Swingin' in the breeze

And though I tried to keep my balance

When I weaken in my knees

I got the feelin' I'm a fallin'

Lover, help me please

I thought that love could never touch me

Yeah, I was ridin' high

And then my ivory tower toppled

And I tumbled from the sky

I got the feelin' that I'm fallin'

And you're the reason why

She dipped and swayed, her feet bouncing along on her toes as she bobbed her head to the melody. It was as if he were reading someone's diary, glimpsing the private parts they didn't expose to anyone. Negan was gluttonous, he ate up every second of it, every perky tit bounce and ass jiggle.

He was a dirty old man, he was convinced of it after his hand slid into his pants as the music switched tracks to a bluesy voice he didn't recognize. Kayla was on her knees taping the papers together, her ass up in the air begging for his johnson.

"Goddamnit." He growled, fisting the ridiculously hard prick in his hand like a greedy bastard. "For all that is good and holy, take off those fucking shorts sweetcheeks."

Negan's eyes rolled back in his head with every tightened pump and roll of his hips. He couldn't seem to stop his voyeurism and he struggled to feel more than nominal guilt about it. "Babydoll." He moaned while cumming into his lap like some depraved pervert.

"Killing me doll." He sighed, wiping his hands on a discarded t-shirt. "Killin' me."

 

* * *

It was three am when Negan heard the shouts, loud angry voices echoing across the courtyard. Climbing into his chair, Negan wheeled himself to the window to see what the hell was going on before dawn. Kayla's apartment was brightly lit, the woman standing in the living room while she argued with the man from the first day. She stood with crossed arms, only wearing sleep shorts and a tank top. Negan was momentarily distracted by her long neck, her dark hair piled up in a messy bun. When the douchebag grabbed her wrist Negan sat straight up, his hands gripping the arms of the chair anxiously. His eyes widened as the guy yanked her towards him roughly. Kayla struggled against him, smacking the moron as he tried to kiss her, his mouth ducking to her neck.

Negan growled, looking over his shoulder at his cellphone contemplating calling the police but unsure if he wanted to get involved. Turning back he saw her get free, the woman throwing a right hook into the man's face. Negan chuckled as she then shoved him into the wall, her voice rising loud enough for Negan to hear through his open windows.

"Get. Out. Or I'm calling the cops!" She screamed, shoving him as he stumbled out the door. Negan could tell the man was drunk, his feet haphazard and unsteady. Kayla slammed the door, flipped the locks and stood in front of it. He could see her shoulders rising and falling deeply, her hands fisted as she seemed to press her forehead into the wood.

"You're alright." Negan murmured, the desire to comfort her in some way had him shifting in his chair. The feeling wasn't based on lust but a strange feeling of empathy. "Fuck that guy doll."

She turned around, her face red but cheeks dry as she paced the length of the living room. He watched her talk to herself, her fists clenching as she seemed to argue or rant about her circumstance. Negan felt another odd sense of seeing something he shouldn't, something intimate that he hadn't earned.

The woman finally went into her kitchen and began brewing coffee, obviously giving up on sleeping again. He groaned, rubbing his eyes as he tried to decide if he'd rather lie in bed for a few more hours or stalk the feisty woman across the way. Sighing deeply, Negan eventually rolled his broken ass into the kitchen for his own caffeine. He could sleep when he was dead.

 

* * *

Sitting in the orthopedic surgeons office, Negan grimaced as the old man prodded him like a cut of beef. "I said _goddamn_ Doc. Ease up or we're gonna need a fucking safe word." He grunted, fighting the urge to punch the old bastard in his big gray beard.

Dr. Hershel Greene was a nice old man but he was also a no nonsense ornery straight shooter, Negan and he got along famously.

"Now son, what did I tell you about cursing in this office?" He scolded, his eyebrow raised and eyes twinkling, "If you can't say something nice, shut your damn mouth."

Negan laughed deeply, an honest to goodness grin splitting his face for the first time in months. Dr. Greene rolled his stool backwards and wrote a few notes on the novel that was Negan's medical records.

"Alright. The good news, things are progressing well. The swelling's down and the skin is healing at the newest incisions. Bad news, the amount of pain you're having is sign that there is still quite a bit of inflammation at the break sights and surrounding muscle."

"And that means?" He grumbled, his jaw tensing for the answer.

"It means you need more time in the chair, no crutches for you for another two weeks." The older gentleman informed, his arms crossed as he gazed sympathetically. "I know you're going stir crazy but we don't want to rush things. One wrong move could set you back weeks. I'm going to give you something else for the pain to keep you from getting a tolerance."

Nodding Negan sighed, rubbing his eyes roughly. He was exhausted having woken up early that morning to Kayla's domestic squabble and bad news made him want to go to bed and sleep the two weeks away.

"How are you doing son?" Dr. Greene's kind voice had Negan opening his tired eyes, the man not even realizing he'd closed them.

"Peachy keen." He grumbled, moving himself into his chair shakily.

"It's ok to not be ok." The doctor replied, closing the binder and crossing his arms casually. Negan rolled his eyes at the stereotypical encouragement. "Look Doc. I'm fine. I'm pissed my stupid fucking leg won't just heal but otherwise I'm Jim fucking Dandy."

"When I lost my first wife, Josephine, I went off the deep end. I had a little girl at the time mind you. My Maggie Mae. She was six and missin' her mama and I spent my days crawling into a bottle."

Negan shifted uncomfortably, he was learning personal shit about a man who he thought was just some bible-beating grandpa. He wasn't expecting the god-fearing man in front of him to have such a deep understanding of what he was feeling. Whatever it was that was pressing his guts into his ribs and throat, constantly choking him from the inside out.

"I wasn't that great of a man before either. My sweet wife would spend nights locked in the bathroom as I screamed and yelled like a lunatic. I was a terrible husband and father. I didn't get a clear head until the day I was drivin' Maggie to school and ended up in a drainage ditch. I drove us off the road and my little girl broke her arm. It was the thing I needed to get it through my thick head. My wife was dead but I was alive. I had a girl to take care of and I couldn't do it if we ended up in a ditch again."

They sat silently as the words sank into Negan like shrapnel. He wanted to snarl and lash out, scream that it wasn't the same, that at least he had someone to live for. Negan didn't have some spawn to take care of, he had his own broken ass and as Sherry so nicely pointed out, who the fuck would want to take care of such an asshole? He sure as fuck didn't.

Swallowing thickly Negan rasped, "TMI, Doc." Shifting his eyes away he spoke, his voice hoarse sounding far from certain. "Said I'm fine."

Dr. Greene nodded along, his eyes too kind and all knowing for Negan's liking. Rolling to the door he called over his shoulder, "See you in two weeks old man."

 

* * *

The cab driver held the wheelchair at the curb as Negan practically crawled into it like some uncoordinated jackass. Slapping a tip into his hand he grunted, "Thanks."

"You want me to take you to your place?" The guy asked, his expression saying he really didn't want to help but felt like he should.

"Fuck off." Negan barked, "You think I'm retarded? Or did you want to give me a blow job because I think you have one too many dicks for my taste."

"Fine fuck you man, I was just tryin' to be nice."

"Yeah well shove your good deed for the day right up your puckered balloon knot." He snapped, rolling away from the irate cabbie.

A soft raspy laugh caught his attention, the sight in front of him making Negan roll to a slow halt. Kayla stood just a few feet away from him, her worn punk band t-shirt tied at her waist. Her long legs painted in black denim and hair swept from her forehead with a braid. Swallowing thickly he could hear his previous rude words ricocheting inside his skull as he realized Kayla was just exposed to the real Negan.

'Fuck I'm such an asshole.' He grumbled inwardly, the desire to smack himself over the head with a baseball bat overwhelming.

"That was some funny shit." She remarked, her shoulder leaning against the long wall of mail slots. "Rude but you know what they say sticks and stones may break your bones, so don't be a pussy."

Negan slowly smiled at her dry humor, the smirk she wore making his pants tighten. "I'm glad you enjoyed yourself doll." He drawled huskily, a shaky façade of ease curling his lips. He tried to look cool and relaxed but realized he couldn't pull it off in his broken ass state. Not unless she was interested in a scratch and dent sale.

Negan never had a hard time getting laid, he was a smooth talker and charismatic. His grin and brash humor would pull them in and soon inhibitions would drop, quickly followed by their panties. Being married hadn't even stopped him, it actually made his side action even more frequent. Girls liked the bad boys.

"Kayla." She introduced herself after he sat staring at her like a vegetable, her hand outstretched at him. Negan ground his teeth to hold in the moan as her soft skin slid into his rough palm. Now he knew what her flawless skin would feel like if she were pinned beneath him, writhing and moaning.

'Mother of fuck.' He groaned inside at the idea of her small soft palm stroking his baloney pony like there was no tomorrow.

"Negan." He replied, his throat thick with want and mouth dry as sand.

"First or last?" She quipped, a crooked smile quirking her pink lips.

"The one and only." He replied while reaching into his bag of tricks and pulling out his panty-dropping grin and wink.

Kayla laughed slightly and looked a little flustered but rolled with it. "How very rockstar of you." She deadpanned dryly, her eyes not hiding her amusement.

Negan wasn't sure what else to say. He couldn't mention any of the litanies of private shit he knew about her.

'Hey I noticed you prefer those tiny shorts to thongs, why is that? How could you date such a douche nozzle like _Kyle_? Who the fuck taught you that right hook?'

"So, I'm new to the area, can I ask you a personal question?" Kayla's voice brought him out of his head, images of her bouncing around her place and drinking her coffee on her patio drowning him.

"Sure." Negan croaked, his hands clenching at the thought that maybe she knew. Maybe she caught him stroking his salami like some peeping tom fuck and she was going to ask how he hadn't been locked away yet.

"Where can a girl get a good burger around here?"

Negan stared at her for a full second, his face blank and mouth slack. A slow grin curled his lips as Kayla bit hers shyly, a beautiful blush rising up her cheeks.

"Asshole Al's." He replied after finding his tongue, the damn thing conveniently located in his mouth of all places.

Laughing at the name, she lifted a sculpted brow and asked, "For real?"

"No uh.. it's just called Al's Grill or something but he's an asshole. Great food but the guy is a prick. It's over on Third and Franklin."

Kayla smiled at him and nodded, looking towards the parking lot for a moment before returning to him. "Thanks. Maybe I'll see you there sometime?"

Negan's mouth was dry as she obviously flirted with him, his greedy dick screaming at him to take the hint and ask her out. He swallowed thickly and nodded a couple times. "Yeah uh maybe you will." He said despite wanting to demand they go that very moment. Negan wasn't sure why but the thought of actually spending time with Kayla seemed way to daunting. How could he hide the fact that he had cum to visions of her for the last two months. That the days she wore her yoga pants kept him chafed like some adolescent sex addict.

Kayla chewed her lip, her eyes dropping away as she took it as rejection. Her lips still curled mildly though as she muttered, "Well, I'll see you around Negan."

"Yeah.. uh yeah I'll be here." He mumbled as she walked away, her hips swaying and ponytail bouncing as she head towards her car.

'Idiot.' He growled deeply. 'Nutless fucking moron.'


	3. Chapter 3

The project Kayla had been working on was now tacked to her living room wall. It was a collection of different landscapes, pictures of beautiful forests and dramatic cliffs of the coastline. There were barren deserts and thick evergreens covered in snow. It seemed she was an aspiring world traveler, the fact being highly ironic to Negan. The woman rarely left her home, her self-seclusion familiar and comforting to him. He may have had a medical reason for being a recluse but Kayla seemed to do it by choice. He wasn't even sure if she had family, having never seen a soul visit her except the jerk off, who seemed to desperately want her back. Not that he could blame the shithead, Kayla was a catch. Not only did she have a nice rack, she was enthralling.

She hung the display up and stood back, her arms crossed as she cocked her head to the side. For a moment she smiled at it, a look of pride on her face but then it seemed as though her body began to sink into quick sand. Kayla's shoulders sagged and she frowned, her eyes dropping away as if unable to look at them any longer.

Negan wasn't sure what the change in demeanor meant but he couldn't help feeling the need to comfort her. It wasn't the first time he wanted to cup her face and kiss her forehead. He could feel his lips tingle at just the idea of it. There wasn't much he wanted more in the world than to pull her into his lap and sink deep inside her, and not just to get off but to feel close to another person again. He ached to be connected in some way with someone. That someone was quickly becoming Kayla. Part of him, the rational side, knew what he was doing and feeling, was wrong. He could tell he was trading one coping mechanism for another, both being unhealthy and harmful to himself and others. The other half of Negan felt that even though it wasn't healthy, it was better than what he had been doing all those months ago in his favorite automobile. It was that recognition that allowed him to overlook the immoral pastime and rationalize it as less deadly than driving into brick walls.

 

* * *

He had to do laundry, Negan couldn't put it off any longer or he'd be free balling it. As it was, he wore a pair with shamrocks on its crotch and the phrase _Kiss my Shamrocks,_ a joke gift from a red headed substitute he fucked.

Using a canvas bag to carry his clothing, he slung it over the back of his chair and rolled his broken ass towards the laundry room. Once inside he shoved as much as he could in the rusty unit before settling in with his tablet, reading a book he'd downloaded.

As he finished the first chapter the sound of someone trudging towards the doorway had him pausing with apprehension. Negan wasn't in the mood to chitchat with some neighbor, especially if it were someone he watched. That would be uncomfortable. Kayla's face flashed before him and he couldn't help but stiffen, literally.

'Fuck, it may be her.' He groaned inwardly, the idea of watching her fold her panties way too stirring to be considered normal adult behavior. Adjusting his partial chub, he peered through the doorway waiting anxiously for their arrival.

The mysterious person appeared and much to Negan's disappointment, it wasn't the tight-bodied brunette; rather it was the frizzy haired old lady. She smelled like cigarettes and mothballs, her beady eyes glaring at him. Looking back at his screen, he tried to ignore her shuffling feet but the threadbare slippers kept drawing his attention. Sneering at his lap, he couldn't help but stew bitterly.

 _'This_ is why I don't do laundry.' He grumbled inside, his dark gaze landing on the noisy old woman. Negan just wanted to sit silently while his dirty drawers washed, not smell cigarettes and look at spider vein covered calves. Wrinkling his nose, he tried to avoid the view and focus on his book.

"What's your name?" Her raspy voice crackled, her wrinkly arms crossed over the stained housedress. Negan blinked at her a moment before he replied, "Negan."

"Neeegahn?" She spoke, her nose wrinkled with disgust. "That some kinda chink name? You don't look like no oriental?"

Snorting, Negan drawled, "Well aren't you a charmer, doll. No I am not Asian but if I was I'd be fucking offended."

"Well excuse the hell out of me. In my day, we had thicker skin and we called it, as we saw it."

"Don't get me wrong sweetcheeks, I like blunt."

"Whatever." She sneered, lighting a cigarette while standing next to the no smoking sign. Negan shook his head and decided to not bother pointing out the obvious sign, it wasn't as though she'd give a shit.

"What exactly did you need?"

"Need?"

"You asked my name, unless you were just hitting on me?" He grinned salaciously, figuring if he offended her she might leave. Negan could do offensive, it was part of his repertoire. "I mean I am irresisti-fucking-ble."

Scoffing she grinned, her yellowing teeth showing, "You couldn't handle me _boy_."

Chuckling loudly, Negan decided he liked the old broad despite her repulsiveness. She was a straight shooter and full of shit, if only he were a hundred years older.

"Have you seen a fat tabby around, my neighbor's missing one." She asked, pulling a last drag before stomping out the butt onto the stained linoleum. Cocking his head to the side, Negan tried to remember the last time he saw the cat and flashed to the morning before. He'd seen it on the weirdo's patio, the cat using it as a toilet yet again but he didn't know if he wanted to get involved. Shrugging he replied, "saw it a couple days ago in the courtyard. Why?"

"The damn cow keeps coming over lookin' for it." She muttered, her voice hoarse as she stated her thoughts on the matter, "I told her, he probably just found himself some lady friend and to stop bothering me. He's probably out pumping out flea ridden little bastards all over the neighborhood."

Rolling his shoulder he muttered, "Sounds about right." Something nagged him about the news though and he couldn't help but feel suspicious of the already strange man in 1313.

The old woman snorted and pulled clothing out of the dryer, tossing the articles into a yellowed laundry basket. "Well if you see the damn thing, shove it in a sack and drop it on her doorstep. I'm tired of the oaf bangin' on my door."

Grunting in response, Negan dropped his gaze to the screen in his hands rather than look at her. With shuffling feet the gray haired woman left the laundry room, leaving him to his shitty novel.

 

* * *

There was a man standing in Kayla's living room when Negan returned from washing his clothing. The thick-necked man, had a strong jaw and boxer nose. He looked like the type of guy that had a huge ego and a little dick, in Negan's humble opinion.

The meathead stood with his arms crossed and a frown on his face, an expression of frustration aimed at the little brunette. Kayla was sitting on the couch looking bored as he spoke. Negan picked up the binoculars he recently purchased online, a poor life choice that he refused to contemplate fully, and tried to see the gist of the conversation. He could tell the man was upset with her, his brow furrowed and body tense. It wasn't an aggressive stance but more an air of concern. Kayla looked as if she were blowing him off, her eyes rolling while avoiding his gaze.

Suddenly she stood up and yelled at him, pointing at the door. The dark haired man didn't leave though; he stepped forward and dipped his head to look fully into her eyes. He held her biceps while murmuring to her, Kayla nodding along.

Slowly, Negan watched Kayla's expression soften before she moved forward to embrace him. Watching from afar, he couldn't help but feel a ripple of jealousy shoot painfully through his chest. Negan wanted Kayla and he didn't want to share her. The sight of her wrapped up in someone else's arms had him irritated and unsettled. It was irrational; he knew it but couldn't stop himself from feeling it. Guilt plagued him, as did longing.

Eventually they left together, the pair coming back soon after with takeout. They settled onto her sofa, both lounging but surprisingly not close. Negan watched from behind the edge of the curtains in his bedroom, his dark eyes observing their interactions. He could tell they were not romantically interested in each other but he wasn't sure if there was a reason for it, or if they just hadn't gotten to that point yet.

Negan enjoyed watching them together, no matter how jealous he was because whoever the dark haired guy was, he made Kayla laugh. Having not seen her smiling and laughing with such gusto, Negan sat grinning as she glowed with amusement.

She was beautiful while sitting typing on her computer but when laughing, her eyes bright and lips curled, she was stunning. He wished he could hear and see it up close but knew even though she had seemed interested in spending time with him, he could never do it. Kayla wasn't just some girl he wanted to fuck, he knew more about her than he knew about Sherry and they'd known each other for years. Not that he wanted to fuck Sherry because 'Eww' but he knew things that friends knew.

Negan didn't think he would be able to spend time with Kayla without slipping up and there would be no way to recover from it. If Kayla knew he was watching her live her life through binoculars he purchased for the sole purpose of viewing her, she would not only call the cops but he was pretty sure she would carve out his eyeballs. Possible even take his gonads while she was at it. There would be no forgiving him of such an invasion. Watching from the shadows would be his only option.

 

* * *

Sherry showed up unannounced one afternoon while Negan sat watching his neighbors. Her daughter Madeline was in tow, the girl pulled from school for a dental appointment. Rolling himself back into the living room he muttered, "Help yourself to drinks or whatever."

"Nice to see you too Negan." Sherry snarked, pulling open the fridge before huffing. "All you have is beer or water."

"Yeah, you're in fucking luck then." He quipped before smiling at Madeline. "How's it goin' shortstack?"

The girl giggled, her curly brown hair bouncing as she jumped onto the sofa. "Goooooood. I didn't have one cavity!"

"Good girl." He replied, tipping his chin up he asked, "Lemme see those chompers?"

Madeline leaned forward and smiled wide before laughing as Negan barred his own, snapping them playfully at her nose.

"They look good dollface." He drawled, ruffling her hair before glancing at Sherry who was watching them with a smirk. Ignoring the look on her doting face, Negan straightened up in the chair.

"So what've you been up too? How was the doctor the other day?" She asked, sitting down on the recliner.

"Nothing and shitty. I need this fucking thing for another two weeks." Negan bitched while watching Madeline thumb through his bookcase, the little girl pulling out books before frowning. "Uncle Negan none of these have pictures."

"Well I have some magazines with pictures but I don't think you're mother would approve." He rasped with a slow grin and twinkling eyes. Sherry glared at him, crossing her arms. "Shut up Negan."

"Whatever." He grunted, irritated she wasn't amused with his hilarious joke.

"What're these Uncle Negan?" Madeline asked, holding up the binoculars he had the misfortune of leaving out. Feeling his neck heat at the sight, his eyes slid to Sherry's, who slowly grinned. "Yeah Uncle Negan, what _are_ those?"

Narrowing his eyes he lied easily but far from convincingly, "I took up bird watching."

"Oh _reeeeeeally._ " She quipped, taking them from Madeline to look out the window.

"Hey!" Negan snapped, reaching for her arm trying to keep her from looking out the window at Kayla. He knew she was currently doing yoga, it was near noon which had become her daily routine. Seeing Sherry discover his embarrassing secret was almost worse than Lucille finding out about his indiscretions with the school nurse. It was like watching a train wreck, Sherry's eyes slowly returned to him as her mouth parted in surprise. "Well, that is certainly a pretty _bird_." She murmured quietly, her eyes far too calculating.

"Let me see!" Madeline begged, hopping up and down in hopes to reach the binoculars.

"It's not like that." Negan growled, his hand out for the scopes while ignoring the girl's whines about them not being fair.

"Well what's it like." Sherry asked, handing them over while sitting down. "Because it seems kinda like you are uh… _peeping_."

"Shut up." He grumbled, shoving the binoculars in between the couch cushions as he tried to regain some kind of control of his body. He felt flushed and sweaty, a strange sense of shame filling his chest cavity like cement. Finding his natural ability to shuffle the truth around and excuse behavior he rationalized, "It's boring as fuck here. I don't just watch her, I'm not some pervert…. I uh… I watch everybody… equally."

Sherry's frown told Negan just how unconvinced she was that his intentions were innocent. The wrinkles between her eyebrows spoke volumes. "Negan that doesn't really sound much better."

Rolling his eyes, he crossed his arms defensively and tried to excuse his behavior despite knowing she was spot on. Nothing about it was good or ethical.

"I'm not doing it to be creepy. I have some weird fucking neighbors. They're… interesting to watch. Like an ant farm."

Sherry cocked an eyebrow and tried to catch him in a lie, a tactic she must have learned from Lucille or maybe the other way around. "Alright, if you don't just watch the hottie in yoga pants, tell me who else lives here?"

Steering his chair to the window he motioned to the other apartments. "That one is an old couple, think All in the Family. Except the old bitch is the judgmental racist."

"Language." Sherry muttered offhandedly, the woman never giving up on correcting Negan's foul mouth even though it never worked for longer than a minute.

"She's a big meany head, better?" He teased, making Madeline giggle while climbing onto Negan's lap. Holding her on his knee, Negan pointed out the cat lady's apartment. "That lady has like five cats and she makes a _tons_ of baked goods every week. It smells damn good all the time."

"Ooooh. Can we have some?" The girl asked with wide eyes, "please mom. Can we?"

"No Maddy but we'll making cookies when we get home."

"Fiiiiine." She huffed, crossing her arms in frustration. Negan snorted at her attitude and continued, "That one is a young couple with a kid and the one with the cactus plant is a black chick that boxes and plays with a sword."

Sherry's eyes widened as he continued with the break down of everyone's lives and their weird habits. When he got to the man living below the old couple he commented, "I think he took the fat lady's cat."

"Why?"

"The little shit uses his plants like a toilet and now it's missing." Negan drawled, leaning back into his chair as Madeline climbed down to jump onto his sofa again. "The old lady told me it was missing."

"You talk to them all too?"

"Nah, just ran into her in the laundry room."

"Oh… well I think you should stop doing this." She muttered, crossing her arms as she watched him move back to the living room. "It's not healthy. You need to leave this apartment and meet real people. This is just…. Weird."

"Whatever. I don't need to meet real people. People are assholes." He replied, sipping the beer on the coffee table, don't judge it was almost 5 o'clock somewhere. "I prefer the distance."

Chewing her lip, Sherry looked out the window for a moment before she finally broke down and blurted out what she was trying to contain. "You need to see someone Negan."

" _See someone?_ " He repeated, his tone far from friendly. Shifting under his glare, Sherry expanded, "Yes. This isn't healthy. What you've been through, what you lost-"

"Don't." He snapped, pointing at her. "Don't continue this in front of your kid, Sherry. You'll regret it."

"I'm just saying, anyone who went through what you did could use help. I'm worried you're falling apart. Spying on your neighbors isn't normal Negan."

Growling deeply, Negan tried to reign in his anger so as to not scare the little girl, who was now watching them like a tennis spectator.

"Stop speaking."

"No. I'm tired of you shutting me down. You and I both know what happened wasn't an accident. It was a cry for help." She insisted, her eyes watery. "I don't want you to keep spiraling Negan. Lucille wouldn't-."

"Shut up." Negan roared, his temper finally snapping as he practically lurched out of his chair on one leg. "Shut your fucking mouth Sherry."

"Lang-."

"I _fucking_ warned you." He hissed, his eyes flicking to Madeline's. "I'm sorry Maddy. I don't mean to yell."

Turning towards Sherry he growled deeply, "You should go. Now."

"Ne-."

"Go. Now." He snapped, pointing at the front door while sitting back down. "Call next time you decide to come over and judge me, I'll save you the time and tell you to fuck the fuck off."

Sherry gathered their coats and bags slowly, pausing at the door she turned back to face him. "I'm not giving up Negan. It's the least I can do for her."

 

* * *

It rained all weekend long, heavy sheets of rain that flooded the parking lots and rushed down the swelling roads. Negan sat in flannel pants and an old college baseball t-shirt that had seen better days, while watching the cat lady trudge through the courtyard hollering for her cat. Chewing on a piece of day old pizza crust, Negan contemplated informing the woman of her suspicious neighbor. He didn't _know_ for a fact that the weirdo in apartment 1313 was responsible for its disappearance but it did seem too… coincidental.

"Mr. Darcy!" Another shout travelled up and into his apartment, making him shift uncomfortably.

"Goddamn it." He grumbled before rolling himself into the kitchen. Grabbing a pad of paper, Negan scribbled ' _ask 1313'_. Folding it in half, Negan grabbed his hoodie and rolled himself out of his apartment. He headed towards the other side of the complex with the goal of slipping the paper under the cat lady's door without being caught.

Negan didn't want to be involved but couldn't watch the woman search for the damn cat while in a hurricane. It was annoying to see and hear, it was disrupting Negan's peace and quiet as well as getting attention from Kayla. If she kept looking out her window at the woman she would notice he was looking out his window at her. Getting locked up for being a sexual deviant would definitely affect his five-year plan of not being arrested again, so Kayla could not find out.

Finding the appropriate door, exactly four units down from Kaya, Negan slipped the little piece of yellow paper under the door before rolling himself away as quickly as possible. He did not want to be caught by the chubby lady, nor did he want to run into his obsession. Once was enough, anymore and he might slip up and tell her that he loved when she wore her hair up to show off her pale neck and beautiful jaw line.

Once back in his place he witnessed the cat lady return to her apartment to find the little paper. She was in her living room reading it over, her hands flipping it open before she exited her apartment again.

Peering through his binoculars he looked at the weirdo's place to see what unfolded now that he intervened. It was the weekend, which usually meant the guy would sit in his living room watching dust collect on his black television screen. Negan could see his head turn to his door signaling the woman's knock. The man didn't seem to move for a solid minute until he gave up on the visitor leaving.

The balding man opened his door and Negan could make out the shadow of the woman and after a few moments, the door was slammed shut. Negan kept his eyes trained on the guy as he went into his bedroom, eventually cutting off Negan's view. Returning his gaze to the cat lady's place, Negan watched as she stormed in and paced while carrying one of her other cats.

It was obvious that she was upset, her mouth moving as she spoke to her other animals. Eventually she settled into her kitchen, mixing up batters and dough for more baked goods. Rolling his eyes at her obvious emotional crutch, Negan glanced at the man's apartment to see it dark and empty. Cocking an eyebrow at the change in routine, Negan scanned the parking lot for his car, finding it still in its spot. Wherever the man went, he hadn't left the complex.

Frowning, Negan decided to move on too something more entertaining and found himself watching Kayla work at her desk. She was typing away with headphones on, her fingers moving quickly as she worked. Negan still wasn't sure what she did for a living but she seemed to put a lot of effort into whatever it was. Sometimes he contemplated what it could be; a writer, some kind of graphic designer or possibly even a tech support person. Whatever it was, it seemed to be a perfect fit for her reclusive lifestyle. No commute, dress code or uncomfortable office chair. No awkward cubicle birthday celebrations for people you couldn't stand if not paid too. Negan was insanely jealous, if only he could coach baseball from his couch.

 

* * *

The sight of a policeman in the cat lady's apartment had Negan feeling… unsettled. It was obvious that she had contacted them because of her cat but he wasn't sure if it was because of the note she received or what she found out by confronting her neighbor. Rubbing his eyes roughly, he tried to remember if anyone saw him. The last thing he needed were the cops knocking on his door wondering how and why he knew to suggest the odd guy for the lost kitty.

When they left a few minutes later, Negan relaxed and decided to take a trip to the mailbox. He hadn't picked his mail up in a week and knew eventually the mailman would start returning it to the post office for lack of space. He put on his leather jacket knowing the temperatures had dropped overnight after the storm, the first signs of fall showing with dying leaves and overcast skies.

Pushing himself down the hallway and unto the elevator, Negan pushed the button for the ground floor. A hand reached into the door just as it was about to close, the old lady from the laundry room stepped in. Struggling with a basket of dirty clothing as well as a large blanket, she complained, "damn laundry is never done. I told 'im to stop eatin' that damn chink food, it stains like nothing else on this god forsaken planet."

Negan cocked an eyebrow as she ranted about her husband's addiction to sweet and sour chicken from the Chinese place around the corner. Without commenting, Negan found himself watching her drag the blanket as she tried to grip the basket with one hand. Sighing he offered, "give me the basket."

Scoffing in disgust, Doris spoke with her nose turned up, "I'm not letting you near my under wear boy."

"Believe me I don't want anything to do with your grannies panties lady." He drawled, taking the basket despite her arguments. "I'll help you to the laundry room and they're _all_ yours from there."

Propping the basket on his lap, they headed down the corridor to the dim laundry room.

"Did you hear about the cow and her cat?" She rasped, her smoker's voice sounding worse than before. "She called the cops. Started hootin' and hollerin' that some guy took it. She was practically carrying a pitchfork off to the castle."

Snorting, Negan sat the basket on the washer and asked, "They uh… find anything?"

"Nope. Lady has lost her marbles is what I say. I told her it's just a damn cat. Hell she could probably go over to that damn chink restaurant Dale loves so damn much and get a couple free ones. God knows that their chicken ain't really chicken."

Wrinkling his nose he watched Doris pull out a load of wet towels and throw a new load into the washer before opening the dryer. As soon as it opened the scent of burnt hair escaped causing them both to gag. The white door slowly opened unveiling a gruesome scene out of a horror movie, the drum inside coated in charred crimson blood.

"Well we found the damn cat I guess." The old lady croaked before pulling out a crumpled pack and lighting up a smoke. Breathing out a slow drag she bitched, "Of course its on laundry day, how the hell am I drying all my shit when the best dryer is covered in cat guts."

Negan hadn't spoken a word. The sight was burning into his underside of his eyelids and turning his stomach. He wasn't someone affected by blood and guts, horror movies never bothered him, however the sight before Negan had him shuddering. The worst part of finding the dead feline was the fact he felt somehow responsible for its gruesome death. Maybe if he had spoken up sooner or not at all, the cat wouldn't have ended up on the fluff cycle.

 

* * *

After informing the property manager, who contacted the police, Negan returned home. He watched as a pair of officers headed into the doorway leading to the laundry room. They were soon followed by an animal control woman, who eventually left with a plastic sack. Scowling at the sight, he watched as the cat lady came running out, her red face covered in tears. There was a brief struggle while she fought over the animal's remains, the police having to intervene. Eventually the animal control officer left with the bag and the crying woman was ushered to her place.

He watched as they all sat in her living room, being the proper hostess to police officers, she served coffee and homemade donuts.

Negan noticed they spoke for close to an hour before they exited the apartment. Instead of them leaving however, he noticed with great apprehension that they were interviewing every tenant.

"Fuck." He grumbled, scrubbing his jaw as he saw them appear in Kayla's doorway. She barely opened the door but he glimpsed the blue and black uniform. They spoke for only a few minutes before she closed the door and returned to her work.

Slumping in his chair, he tried to decide what the best course of action was. Negan could tell them his suspicions of the mustachioed man and confess to leaving the note but how would he explain those suspicions.

'Yeah officer I noticed the guy hated the fucker because he shit in his tomato plants everyday. How do I know it happened so often? Oh well you know.. I like to watch my fuckhot neighbor bounce around her apartment wearing teeny fucking tiny shorts while jacking my trouser snake like a lecherous deviant with one hour to live.'

Huffing out a breath, he headed into his kitchen to grab a mug of coffee and wait for the knock. As he poured it and added some sugar, Negan looked over and saw the notepad sitting on the counter top.

"Shit." He cursed spilling hot coffee all over his lap when the loud knock rattled his door. Plopping the mug down he grabbed the notepad and shoved it into nearest hiding spot, which ended up being the dishwasher. Just what he needed was evidence of his involvement sitting out in plain sight. 'Dumbass.' He muttered inwardly.

Rolling to the door, Negan pulled it open awkwardly with his injured leg outstretched.

"Afternoon sir." One officer greeted, the short and stocky man was standing next to his female partner. She was tall and thin, her blonde hair tucked into a bun. They both seemed bored with their job at the moment, the pair obviously not thrilled to be investigating a cat's death.

"Hey." He grumbled, opening the door but not enough to allow them inside. Negan wasn't going to tell them shit, one look at them told him it wouldn't matter if he did. It would only bring attention and questions he didn't want to answer.

"I'm officer Martinez and this is officer Kline. We're here investigating the incident in the laundry room. We were informed that you were the one who found the uh… remains in the dryer."

Nodding he rasped, "Yeah. I was helping a neighbor with her laundry and when she opened it… well you saw it. I uh called the property manager about it."

"Did you recognize the cat?" The female officer asked, her hand poised over a small black notebook.

"Yeah, I mean there's an orange one that runs around here. I figured it was the same one." He offered, sounding bored and uninterested. Negan figured they seemed unconcerned and were going through the motions, why elaborate more than necessary.

"Yes. Ms. Olivia Wilson reported it was stolen earlier today." The male officer informed, his eyes flicking down to his own note pad. "Had you see it in the last few days?"

"I don't think so." Negan replied, shrugging his shoulder, "I wasn't really looking for it."

"Do you know a Mr. Simon Garret?" Officer Kline asked, her fine eyebrow rising while biting her lip a little too coyly. Any other day, Negan would've been all over her tight body in her strict uniform. It was definitely a turn on to see an attractive woman in power but since the accident, the only woman to float his tugboat was Kayla.

"He lives across the complex." the male officer added when he only stared back at them.

"No." Negan replied figuring it wasn't exactly a lie, he hadn't known Mr 1313's name nor did he _really_ know him.

"Do you know anything about a note left under Ms. Wilson's door?"

"No." Negan lied easily, his face showing nothing but indifference.

Both officer's nodded, thanking him for his cooperation and said their goodbyes. Before leaving they handed him a card in case he thought of anything or saw something of use regarding the cat and it's killer.

After shutting his door, Negan slumped in his chair and rubbed his face. Getting involved had been a huge mistake and he wouldn't be making it again. Staying on the outside of the little ant farm he was watching was the best course of action. He would just watch from now on, not intervene in situations that did not involve him.


	4. Chapter 4

Negan was happier than he'd been in months, the wheelchair was in the closet and crutches now supported his broken body. He could not believe how much faster it was to get around with one leg and a couple of pegs. With a few weeks of rehabilitation, Negan was looking to be walking on his own in no time. At least that was what he was hoping for.

Using his uplifted mood as motivation, Negan headed to the supermarket for his own groceries rather than depending on Sherry to deliver them. The complication came when he realized he could neither carry a hand basket while using crutches nor use crutches while pushing a cart. Pondering for a moment, Negan heard a throat clear behind him as he stared mindlessly at the racks of carts and baskets.

"Oh uh sorry." He muttered, backing out of the way as a body came out of his peripheral. It wasn't until the person joined him in front of the row of shopping carts that he realized it was Kayla. His whole body froze to stone and he could feel his heart slamming into his ribs as she peered up at him.

"So you're able bodied now huh?" she spoke with a smirk while he slumped uncomfortably onto his crutches. Negan wasn't too sure but he thought Kayla might have been checking him out. The trail of her eyes scanning him could have been to assess his health but they lingered slightly longer on his arms and broad chest while she bit her lip. He was aware that the opposite sex was attracted to him, his size and strength but it was strange to have Kayla looking at him in that light.

Negan rolled his eyes and muttered, "Not as much as I thought."

"You wanna ride in one of the carts with the steering wheel while I push?" she teased, motioning to the child friendly shopping cart shaped like a race car. Negan stared at her a moment before chuckling, "I think I might be above the weight restrictions."

"Ok well. Let's share a cart. I'll push, you follow." Kayla commented, pulling out a basket and heading inside without looking back. Negan watched her curvy hips sashay away for a moment before deciding to follow. He wasn't too sure how he would keep himself from popping a woody as she displayed her perky ass in front of him so casually. Deciding he would have to just risk making a jackass out of himself because the chance to watch Kayla hold phallic shaped vegetables was way too tempting. They met up in the produce department, Kayla bagging up a few green apples and pears.

"Sooooo. What do you need?" she asked, her body leaning on the cart while he stared at her dumbly. The only need he could think of was the need to bury his banana between her legs while squeezing her juicy melons.

"You know… uh grocery-wise since we are here… in a grocery store."

Negan shook his head to clear the carnal needs he would prefer to focus on. "Food."

Kayla snorted obnoxiously, her lips curled up and eyes twinkling. "You don't say…"

Feeling himself blush at the girl's teasing words, he blurted out the first thing that came to his mind. "A bit of everything."

"Alrighty. Well do you need any fruit or veggies while we're here?" she asked, strolling forward while leaning on the cart's handlebar, her ass becoming way to distracting as she sauntered away from him. Limping after her, Negan cleared his throat and searched his head for the name of some kind of vegetable. He was pretty sure Kayla thought he was mentally handicap at that point and to add his in ability to feed himself real food would be a deal breaker.

"Broccoli and uh… lettuce." He mumbled, his dark eyes flicking over to her as she dropped a bag of spinach in the cart. Smiling she tipped her chin to the wall of green leaves. "What kind of lettuce?"

"I uh.. salad lettuce?" he replied his decision sounding more like a question than an actual choice. Kayla snickered, her hand reaching out to grab a bag that came with dressing and toppings. "This is a salad kit. Throw it all together and you're done. No need to cut shit up. You like vinaigrettes?"

"Yeah." Negan replied even though he wasn't too sure if he did like vinaigrettes. Lucille was the shopper and chef of their marriage and before her there were a string of other girlfriends that babied him. If left to his own devices he would live off fast food and processed garbage but he was getting to the age where he could tell when he wasn't eating healthy. Negan figured at forty three he might need to become an adult.

"Okie dokie." She quipped, tossing it in with the other groceries before grabbing a few bags of broccoli florets. "You can throw these into the microwave so even you can cook them." She quipped, her eyes playful. Negan realized he might be a masochist because her little jabs were giving him a chubbie. He liked her sharp tongue and stinging barbs, they were making his dick twitch.

They strolled along with each other while Kayla grabbed a few more fresh produce items. Negan followed quietly, his eyes snagged on Kayla's curves periodically but more frequently he found himself watching her expressions change. At home he watched from far away with binoculars but seeing her ponder the choice between red or white potatoes was far more interesting up close. The wrinkle in her brow as she seemed to weigh the decision as seriously as any other life changing choice was subtle but amusing. She chewed the corner of her lip while picking out the perfect avocado and smelled numerous tomatoes before dropping a few into a bag.

"Sorry." She apologized, her cheeks blushing as she realized he was studying her. "I take forever at the store. Are you in a hurry?"

"No." he replied, his lips curving upwards and a bit of his self-confidence coming back as she flushed beautifully. "Take your time darlin'. No where else I wanna be."

Kayla smiled slightly before she bit her lip to contain it, her eyes flicking away as Negan smirked back at her. He liked having an effect on her, it made his total obsession with her feel less one sided.

"Alright. Now I'm going to get a few things like cereal and I need some kind of snacks." She spoke while they walked further into the store, their cart squeaking as she took a corner. Negan followed behind her, his eyes dipping to her hips before snapping up to her face. He watched her eyebrow rise as she repeated the question he seemed to have missed.

"You need any snacks?" she repeated, "I'm partial to potato chips but you know, I enjoy shaking it up once in awhile." Holding up a bag of pretzels she wiggled her hand before dropping it into the cart. Negan chuckled, reaching out to the top shelf to grab a bag of tortilla chips.

"Good choice." Kayla replied, pushing the cart further down the aisle. "They are excellent vehicles for another favorite of mine. Cheese."

Negan was beginning to see that not only was Kayla physically attractive but she was witty and sarcastic. Watching from afar had given him only the barest look at who Kayla really was and now that he had spent time with her, Negan wanted more. He could quickly feel himself spiraling into a further depth of his addiction.

After a couple aisles of them tossing random finds into the basket they found themselves in the meat and cheese department. Kayla grabbed bacon and chicken while Negan pondered if he could actually cook himself steak.

"You know how to cook at all?" she asked, munching on a sample from the deli counter.

"No." Negan replied honestly, the man deciding to not bother and cover his ineptitude. Secretly he was hoping she would offer to cook for him, a guy could dream.

"Well there is this thing called the internet which is filled with useful knowledge." She stated before smiling slowly, her words teasing.

"Smartass." Rolling his eyes he grabbed a pack of steaks as well as chicken, deciding he would figure it out.

Wandering away, he looked around for anything else he might be missing when he saw the corner of the store devoted to alcohol. Pursing his lips he tried to decide if he wanted her to know that alcohol was on his mental shopping list.

"I'm out of beer." Kayla spoke next to him, while pushing the cart in the direction of the liquor. "You need any?"

"Yeah. Grab me a twelve pack."

"Of what?"

"I like what you like." He replied offhandedly before realizing his slip up. Kayla cocked an eyebrow and asked, "And how would you know that? I could drink fucking Zimas or something equally as awful."

"First off Zimas don't exist anymore and second, you seem like the type who drinks pale ales which are fine by me." Negan replied, his demeanor calm but his inside churning with nerves. He cursed himself for becoming too lax in front of her, that was exactly why he told himself not to spend real time with her. Eventually he was going to slip up and ruin it.

Kayla hummed at the response, the girl sounding less than convinced but grabbed two packs of beer. They were what she always drank and happened to be Negan's new favorite as well.

"Good?" she asked, setting the packs on the bottom of the cart. Negan nodded, smiling at her with wide grin. "Told you."

Rolling her eyes, she guided them through the store, picking up a few dairy items as well as bread and rolls. Negan grabbed a few more items but eventually only shuffled next to her, watching as she shopped.

At the register they split up their groceries, Negan sending his towards the cashier first. He was watching them bag the items when he realized he had no way to take all his food home. The taxi he took to the store had left and he told himself he would call for another when he finished up but now had way more groceries than he had planned.

The clerk told him the total and he paid while contemplating what he should do about the predicament.

"Hey are you driving yet?" Kayla asked while shoving her groceries down the conveyer belt.

"No. I was just thinking about that. I hadn't planned on this much shopping."

"No problem. I drove, I can give you ride home." She replied easily, handing over a club card to the cashier.

"It's ok. I can call for another cab."

"It's not like we aren't going to the same place." She chuckled, her eyes playful, "Unless you're scared to ride with a stranger?"

"You aren't a stranger." He replied as she paid, "I just didn't want to assume you would want to give me a lift."

"Well no worries." She replied with a smile, motioning him forward. "I'll find some way for you to repay me."

"Oh yeah?" he replied with a smirk, "How's that?"

"I don't know yet. First born son, the horn from a narwhal, a trillion and one dollars." Kayla spoke with a lazily shoulder roll, punching the button on her key fob. "You know the usual compensation for such a huge inconvenience."

Negan barked out a loud laugh as she smiled at him, "She thinks she funny huh?"

"Thinks?" she repeated with a wry grin. "There's no thinks about it. I am damn fucking funny."

 

* * *

The ride to their apartment had been silent but not awkward. Negan tried to think of ways to speak to Kayla without slipping up and admitting he was desperately obsessed with her.

Once parked, Negan realized he would need help returning to his apartment with all his bags. Frowning he noticed Kayla was collecting all his bags while leaving hers.

"Shit, I really didn't plan to buy so much crap." He muttered as she carried way more than she should. "Give me a couple."

"You'll fall. I'm fine. I'm a chick, I'm always determined to make one trip." She replied, smirking, "And I'm stronger than I look."

"I believe you." he replied, smiling at her as they entered the elevator. Kayla asked, "So what number are you?"

"2869" he rasped, his eyes avoiding hers hoping she didn't realize they were directly across from each other. The woman stayed quiet, only the rustle of the plastic bags and her quiet breathing filled the elevator. Arriving at his apartment, Negan unlocked the door and watched her move directly into his kitchen. Their layout was identical but she refrained from unpacking his groceries.

"Thanks for helping me out." he said as she turned around. "The whole gimp thing is fucking inconvenient."

Kayla shrugged, her lip curling up. "No problem. It made shopping less monotonous."

Thanking her again, Negan followed her to the door. Kayla turned back and offered, "If you need a ride somewhere or whatever let me know. I'm in 2130."

Nodding he gave her a charming grin and flirted, "And if you need less monotony, you know where to find me."

Cringing inwardly, Negan realized he just did what he told himself not to do. 'Don't get involved jack ass!' he growled at himself angrily. 'You're gonna fuck shit up.'

The smile she gave him soothed the total revulsion he had for disregarding his previous promises to himself.

"Will do." She replied, her soft pink lips and slight blush making up for the idiocy of the situation. "Talk to you later Negan."

"Yeah, you too." He muttered, closing the door after she walked away. Bowing his head heavily, his chin on his chest, Negan scrubbed his eyes.

"Idiot. Big fucking dumbass." He grumbled, limping his way into the kitchen to put his groceries away. Methodically he unpacked everything, stuffing a few beers into the freezer to cool them quicker. He needed a drink after the afternoon. As pleasant as it was to spend time with Kayla, it was exhausting. The constant tiptoeing around her to keep from spilling the beans was intense. It kept him from relaxing and enjoying her presence. He couldn't stare at her blatantly like he could in his living room and the desire to ask her very invasive questions almost overwhelming.

Distance. That was what they both needed. Maybe if he stopped watching Kayla, he could actually spend time with her without feeling like a lying shithead.

 

* * *

Negan sat with a deep frown as Kayla moved around her apartment, the woman dressing up for the first time since moving in. He watched with wary eyes as she curled her hair and applied makeup, all sure signs she was going out. Negan knew it had to be date. The idea that she could possibly fuck some other guy that evening had him more than a little pissed off. He convinced himself that if she did ride some other dude's baloney pony he wouldn't watch but Negan knew he was lying to himself. No matter how hard, both literally and physically, it would be, he would suffer in order to see just how beautifully shaped her tits were. It was for science purposes.

She answered her door moments later, a rather tall and bulky man entering her place with a smile. He was bald but seemingly shaved rather than age related. His black button down shirt was tucked in to charcoal slacks. Negan frowned at the fact that they looked good together with Kayla in a little black dress and spiky high heels. She gave him a little tour of her place and they stood looking at her collage, the guy moving closer to see some of the images in more detail. They laughed and seemed to get along as if they knew each other before that evening. Soon they left, the man making Negan growl as he placed a hand on her lower back affectionately.

"Goddamnit." Negan groaned, scrubbing his face, as he felt more disappointed than he should. He didn't even really know the woman. Well besides what her favorite ice cream was and how she took her coffee, that and her preferred sofa cushion and how she never, ever wore shoes in her bedroom. They'd talked at the grocery store of course but it never strayed to anything other than acquaintance talk.

Negan guessed he knew more than he really should know of one of his neighbors but he couldn't help but crave such details. He wanted her and seeing her leave with another man had him reaching for his bottle of jack for the first time all week.

 

* * *

They stumbled into her place around midnight, the man's hands gripping her hips and hair as he walked them backwards. Negan had been drinking all evening and felt his blood pressure raise as Kayla ended up wrapped around her dates waist, her arms slung around his neck as he pressed her into her living room wall. They were desperately making out, the broad back of the man blocking Kayla but her clawing hands telling Negan she was enjoying herself. The couple rutted into each other a moment before he carried her into the bedroom, while kicking off his shoes.

"Fucking bullshit." Negan grumbled at the idea that the strange guy knew she didn't like shoes on the carpet. He didn't feel as special knowing others knew of her obsessive-compulsive tendencies.

When they landed on the bed both began tearing off the others clothing, her date yanking her to the edge of the bed as he dove face first in between her legs. Negan ground his teeth but couldn't stop the giant boner from rising as Kayla arched her bare stomach off the bed. Her bra was still on, her breasts heaving as the man feasting between her supple thighs had her writhing.

"Holy fucking shit." Negan hissed as she came undone in record time. When the man stood up wearing only tented boxers, Negan sneered at the sight of his smirking face. Just as the lucky bastard began to join her on the bed he seemed to notice her curtains wide open and sauntered to the window, pulling a draw cord and cutting Negan's view off.

"Motherfucker." He sighed, scrubbing his face before rolling himself into his bedroom to take care of his pocket rocket before it blasted off in his pants.

 

* * *

Stretching out on his bed, Negan removed his pants and boxers. Tossing his shirt to the side he let his hand slide down his stomach before lazily stroking the hard prick fueled by Kayla's writhing shape. Negan pictured her on his own bed, her titties arched upwards as he devoured the wet slice of heaven between her trembling thighs. He tightened his fist, as the swollen head between his muscular thighs pulsed at the thought of her soaked lips and heady scent. The idea of thrusting his tongue into her spasming walls had his head thrown back and an animalistic growl escaping his clenched teeth. Oh how he desired to eat her whole, to suck and lick every pink fold and crease. Negan would feast of her flesh until she quivered and begged for him.

Stroking his weeping cock faster than before his mind fluttered through scenarios with Kayla on her knees in front of him, her perky cheeks spread and her glistening pussy beckoning him inside. The slick skin in his hand throbbed with every down stroke, his rough palm a sad replacement for what would be the softness, wettest pussy he could ever dream of having. He would slid right into her, bottom out until his balls smacked that little pink hood of hers. Slapping skin and deep moans would fill the room as he fucked her hard and fast, the woman clawing at the sheets for something to hold onto.

Thrusting his hips off the mattress, Negan fucked his hand with desperation. His mind flipping to the imaginings of Kayla riding him with wild abandon, her tits bouncing in circles as she squealed and moaned his name. His chest heaved at the thoughts, his brow beaded with sweat as he chased what felt elusive. Picturing Kayla kissing his lips and breathing heavily on his neck had him gasping, the sound of her moaning his name the final push he needed. Spilling over his whitened knuckles, Negan came with a guttural groan and filthy curse words. He panted, his hand pulling on his dick as if trying to drain every drop of pleasure from the flashing images behind his lids.

Blinking drowsily, Negan stared at the shadows passing over his ceiling, the sadness seeping back into his chest. No matter how many times he tugged off to the thoughts of Kayla, he still desired her as strong, if not stronger than before and it never failed to make him feel bitterly alone. Yet he couldn't find it in himself to change it, he couldn't stop thinking about her, watching her. He was still guilt ridden and shame filled, the self loathing that plagued him ever since his wife's diagnosis, still running strong. However now those defeated feelings were accompanied with loneliness. The worst part was, he knew he had the ability to change it and couldn't find the strength to do it.

 

* * *

Negan was convinced Kayla was fucking with him, that she knew he was watching and had an affinity towards women who were comfortable in their own skin. She was standing in her kitchen wearing nothing but underwear and a tank top making pancakes. Music played as she bopped around the tiny room, her feet covered in fuzzy socks. Scrunching his eyes closed he tried to stop watching when the man exited the bedroom, Negan aching to be the guy who could nuzzle up to her messy hair as she cooked him breakfast after a night of great sex.

When his eyes opened he saw the guy was edging to the door, Kayla standing there with a spatula looking rather confused. Her date motioned to his phone and then snuck out the front door like his ass was on fire.

"Douchebag." Negan grunted, his eyes following him as he exited and climbed into his giant pickup truck. Looking back to Kayla he watched as she stood there in her kitchen looking confused for a moment before she chucked the spatula into the sink, her hands gripping the countertop, her back facing towards him. Negan watched her, as she seemed to take deep breathes, her head bowed slightly. Smoke started to rise from the stovetop as the pancakes began to burn.

"Look out doll." Negan drawled, as she finally noticed the kitchen was about to catch on fire. The pan was tossed into the sink and she sprayed water on the burning mess. The fire alarm could be heard from across the courtyard, it's annoying beeping had her more upset than before. Negan laughed as she took a broom and wacked the whole smoke alarm off the ceiling before beating the hell out of the device.

"Anger problem darlin'?" Negan asked with a grin as she huffed and puffed another moment before leaving her kitchen and entering her bedroom.

Sitting there a moment he thought about what he had just seen. Apparently she must have thought what they did the night before meant something else to the guy. Either that or he had something urgent to do at eight in the morning on a Saturday. Chewing his cheek, Negan thought about if he should actually feel happy about the guy's quick departure or bad that it had upset Kayla. Deciding it was better to not question it, Negan opted to ignore his conscience right then and be happy she wasn't fucking the guy on her kitchen table.

 


	5. Chapter 5

It was a week later and Negan was beginning to worry about Kayla's mental health. She was a natural recluse but it seemed to get worse day by day. Having run out of groceries, Negan watched as she ate more delivery food than ever before. She was working later and later, while sleeping until almost dusk. He couldn't help but want to track the guy down who had upset her so much and kick his inconsiderate ass with his size thirteens. Kayla didn't deserve to be treated as a disposable fuck.

On the second week of her self-reclusion, Kayla had another visitor. The same man from weeks before who comforted her had returned. At first Negan was irritated that he was yet again in her apartment but the guy seemed to be more of a friend or family member. He watched them hug, the embrace looking comfortable but not romantic. Frowning as he noticed Kayla crying some, her face turning red and damp. The muscular guy scooped her up into another hug, swaying some as he spoke to her closely. Negan ached to be the one comforting her but sighed in relief as she calmed down.

The pair sat on the couch, Kayla's feet propped in his lap, his hands massaging her feet as they chatted. Soon they were laughing, the big guy turning her frown upside down pretty quickly.

It was quite obvious to Negan that the guy was either a closer friend or a sibling and the longer he looked at them together, the more he saw the resemblance. Both had strong jaws and dark set eyes, while the guy was bulky and broad, Kayla was curvy and petite. Their smiles were identical though, wide and bright white with a sarcastic twist.

The guy grinned easily, his hands gesturing as he told her some kind of anecdote and eventually Kayla wasn't so upset looking. After an hour her visitor had to leave, the pair hugging for a long moment as the man spoke into her ear. With a final kiss on the forehead as he cupped her face, the dark haired guy left and Kayla stood by the door for a moment before returning to the sofa.

She sat staring at her collage of landscapes, her hands wringing and foot tapping anxiously. It was becoming clear that she dealt with some kind of debilitating anxiety, it both relieved Negan and upset him. It was relieving because he wasn't the only fucked up person, maybe she would understand his struggle walking the line between clear headed and dark as fuck. It was upsetting to know she was suffering though, he did not want her to suffer.

With one finally sigh, Kayla stood up and began getting dressed to leave her place. Negan smiled as she got ready and eventually left her home returning hours later with groceries and the flowers that had been missing from her table the last couple weeks.

 

* * *

There was a baby and a teenager in Kayla's apartment one evening, the woman spending time bouncing the girl on her hip while cooking dinner. Negan smiled softly as he watched her speak to the little girl, who grinned and waved her hands as if enthralled.

The teenager was shaggy haired, his back slouched as he watched her move around the kitchen. Negan smirked as he caught the kid checking Kayla out before he blushed like a nervous schoolboy. 'I know son, I know. She as hot as a fuck on free fuck day.'

Deciding he was going to have a pizza, Negan ordered a pie from the bistro down the street. A half hour later a knock on his door brought Negan hobbling to the door on one crutch with his wallet. Opening it to find the same Asian kid who he had terrified months ago when Kayla's pizza was delivered to the incorrect apartment number. He watched the kids eyes grow huge and his pale complexion fade even more.

"Shit." The pizza guy cursed under his breath and mumbled, "D-did you order a pizza?"

"Yeah kid." Negan replied gruffly, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. "What's the total?"

"Oh uh... um, fifteen thirty." The kid stammered, his eyes flicking from Negan to his leg. "What happen to your leg?"

"Ping Pong accident." He deadpanned, Negan had taken up the habit of making up extraordinary excuses for his injury limb.

"Really?" the kid asked with a furrowed brow partial hidden under his ball-cap.

"No, not really dumbass. Here, keep the rest for a tip kid." Negan drawled, looking at his name tag. "Check ya later, Glenn."

"How'd you know-?"

"Name tag doofus." Negan chuckled before slamming the door shut on his face. Shaking his head, he limped into the living room where his sweating beer was waiting for him.

Across the courtyard the trio was sitting down to dinner, Kayla feeding the baby some kind of jarred goop as the teen ate pasta like a ravenous beast. Negan sat eating with them, a strange sense of longing filling his chest. It was a such strong feeling of want that he couldn't help but wonder if he could just stop watching her, he might be able to spend time with her. If he could just stop looking in from the outside, maybe he could be inside looking at her without the shadows.

 

* * *

"Come on Negan. He's clean and doing the steps again." Sherry explained, the woman still aiming to get Negan out of the house was begging him to come to dinner. Dwight was back from a "business trip" and in her normal fashion, Sherry wanted to prove he was better. She was always concerned with how people looked at her, what their opinions were of her and her family. Lucille had been the same way and it was something that kept Negan awake at night because he was relieved that the pressure was gone. He couldn't understand how he could have some kind of pleasure from his wife's death. He shouldn't feel relieved to not have to deal with her. The thought entering his mind alone made him drink heavily.

Rolling his eyes, Negan pressed his phone between his shoulder and ear while flipping through channels on the television. "Fine whatever, I'll come."

"Thank you Negan, I swear he'll be on his best behavior but you need to be also."

Negan growled into the little speaker, "Fine, fuck woman can I go now or are you going to continue to harp on me for shit I haven't even done yet?"

"Okay, okay." Sherry sighed, the sound of dishes clacking in the background. "Do you want to meet us at the restaurant?"

"Uh huh."

"Or we can pick you up and save you some cab fare." Sherry offered, before she shouted in the background. "You two better not be doing what I think you're doing!"

"So, do you want us too? Are you even listening to me?"

"uh huh." Negan mumbled, leaning forward to watch the replay of a shit call. "Are you fucking kidding me, that cock knocker was out, fuck that blind cunt." Negan shouted, the phone loose in his hand as Sherry's muffled voice shouted, "Negan!"

"What?" he snapped into the receiver, "Jesus what else do you want from me?"

"Nevermind. We'll see you at La Hacienda at seven."

"Yeah, yeah seven. I'll be there with my motherfucking maracas on." He sneered, tossing the phone away in disgust. "Get off my balls already."

 

* * *

The taxi pulled up to the Mexican food restaurant Sherry picked out for the family outing. Negan wasn't too sure about her expectations but it seemed she was constantly trying to prove Dwight was better than he was. The blonde haired man would always be a dirt bag in Negan's eyes. The constant struggles with addiction and overall shitty behavior had cemented the opinion. It didn't matter how many times he claimed to be better, Negan would always see him as a lying shitheel who didn't support his family.

Limping into the restaurant, Negan scanned the crowd and found Sherry and her kids sitting in a corner booth. Dwight was nowhere to be seen. Narrowing his eyes Negan headed over, his gaze zeroing in on Sherry's overly made up face. The woman never wore much makeup, which had him instantly aware that something was going on.

"You're late." She quipped while looking down at the menu, blatantly ignoring his critical eyes. Negan glanced at the kids and asked, "How's it going guys?"

"Okay." Sherry's son muttered, his shoulders slumped and lip pouting. Negan sat down with a groan, leaning his crutches against the wall. "Why the sad sack faces? What the fuck's going on?"

"Daddy was gonna come but he had to go out and Stevie's mad." Madeline informed, sticking her tongue out at her brother who tried to smack her with his menu.

"He's already off the reservation huh?" Negan spoke with a chuckle, his eyes sliding to Sherry's only to freeze instantly. The makeup hide it well from a distance but the telltale signs of a blackened eye was hopeless to cover up close.

"Son of a bitch." Negan growled, leaning forward to see the purple seeping out under the thickly applied foundation. "That motherfucking fucker. I'm gonna kill him. He's dead."

"Negan stop." Sherry mumbled, her eyes darting to her son's confused face. "Not here and not in front of the kids. Let's just eat. It's over and there's no need to ruin the night."

"No need to ruin- Are you shitting me woman?" Negan growled his voice fading off as rage began to bubble up inside like lava. "You know what? You're right this is over, he's done Sherry. D-O-N-Motherfucking-E. He thinks he's going to get away with this shit because you keep letting him. It is over with Sherry."

"Don't make a big deal out of this Negan." She sighed, handing her son a pack of crayons to color his paper menu with. "Draw me a pretty picture Stevie."

"Big deal?" Negan scoffed, crossing his thick arms with balled fists. "I'll show him a big deal. I'm gonna shove my big deal up his tiny dick hole."

"Let's just have dinner. Please?" Sherry muttered, motioning for the waitress.

"I'm not done talking to you, Sherry. Not by a long shot. You think I'm gonna let this shit fly?" he hissed under his breath after they ordered, "I am shutting this fucking shit down. He's gonna rue the fucking day he looked at you cross eyed, let alone the day he laid a finger on you. No one and I mean _no fucking one_ touches something of mine like that. I wanna throttle you all the goddamn time but if I can't, then some white trash twatwaffle sure as shit won't. Lucy would kick my nuts into my throat if I let this shit stand. You two were practically sisters, which makes you some terribly annoying in law. No one fucks with mine."

Sherry's chin wobbled as she stared at the chipped table top, her finger picking at the edge. "I don't want you to hurt him."

"He broke the rules Sherry, you don't hit women. He's gotta pay." Negan growled, his head dipping to meet her eyes. "He fucking _deserves_ it and I'm going to make sure he get's what he deserves."

"Don't Negan." She spoke more firmly, her watery eyes meeting his. "He's my kid's father. Don't make them have that as a childhood memory."

"You prefer they remember their dad smacking you around instead?" he growled quietly, his dark eyes flicking to the kids meaningfully. "You think that's a healthy role model for Maddy? You want her to marry a guy like her old man? You want Stevie to treat his girlfriend like this? Maybe it's okay for you to live like this but it's not okay for them. It's fucked is what it is."

Sherry ground her teeth audibly, her eyes flicking to her kids before closing heavily.

"You know I love you Sher Bear. I may lay on the arrogant asshole routine pretty thick but you gotta fucking know that." He murmured, his hand touching her chin to force her to look at him. "I may be a total fuck up right now but you know I'm right. He's done, now you can let me take care of it my way..."

"Negan."

He ignored her and continued, "Or you can report him right fucking now. I guaran-goddamn-tee he is high or drunk right now. He's on parole, he's assaulted you, endangered your kids and I am sure a lot of other fucked up things some lawyer dick could charge him with. He goes away for a long time. No more bruises, no more excuses."

"I've been with him forever Negan. He's my kids dad." She whispered, her throat bobbing as she swallowed thickly.

"Yeah he is and guess what? He is _shit_ at it. He doesn't deserve to know these kids, he doesn't deserve to look at you, let alone touch a fucking hair on your head. He doesn't deserve to breath air in my humble motherfucking opinion."

They were quiet for a long moment, the silence only broken when their food arrived. Negan looked down at his plate of enchiladas and wanted to throw up. He was so far from hungry that for a moment he contemplated tossing the damn thing across the room. Dwight was a stain on the planet, he needed to be put down like the rabid dog he was. Not only did he hurt Sherry, he ruined Negan's healthy appetite.

'Motherfucker is going down either way.' he thought with a malicious grin. 'Even if he goes away you can always contact Vinnie.'

Negan smirked inwardly at the back up plan. His old high school friend Vincent Marcelli won the award for most likely to succeed in the criminal underworld. He was reaping the rewards of the family name and if there was anyone that could get rid of a certain shit stain, Vinnie Fat Fingers Marcelli was just the man Negan needed.

"Okay, I'll do it." Sherry's voice jolted him out of a vivid daydream about pressing Dwight's dumb fucking face to a stove top like a grilled panini.

"Do what?" Negan asked, cocking a brow and folding his hands on his lap. "Allow me to take care of this or report it?"

"Report it, Negan, I'm not some criminal and neither are you."

Snorting Negan tilted his head a little and rasped, "You and I both know, I have zero fucks to give when it comes to beating the ever loving shit out of someone who deserves it."

Rolling her eyes she watched her kids eat, both of them being abnormally quiet. She frowned, her eyes dropping away as she seemed to realize just how much affect their father had on them. They weren't even misbehaving, both were lost in their own little worlds absorbing every fucked up word.

"I'll go with you first thing in the morning." Negan informed, his eyes going to the kids. "After you take them to school come pick me up. We'll go together. No more excuses."

 

* * *

Negan climbed into Sherry's vehicle the following morning with high hopes that she would actually go through with it. As he fastened his seatbelt, he looked her over to see she hadn't bothered with makeup. Negan grimaced at the full color view of the bruising, the purple curdling to yellow and green at the edges.

"I figured they'd want to see it." Sherry murmured, her eyes nervously meeting Negan's. He frowned, his fists tightening up as he spoke, "It's not too late for me to just take care of it nice and quiet like, well for me anyways. I think he'll cry like the little bitch he is."

"I'm going to the cops Negan." She answered dryly, steering them out of the parking lot and towards the local police station.

"Well I had to give it one more try. I would really prefer to give him the message personally. I'd like to introduce him to my favorite milled maple thunderstick."

"I know you would and… I appreciate it but I.. I gotta be better than him." Sherry explained, her hands gripping the vinyl tightly. "I have to do it this way or I just… I'm no better than him. Solving problems with violence. It isn't right."

"Jesus Sherry, don't get all deep on me. I just wanna kick the holy fuck out of him." Negan huffed, crossing his arms defensively. "Me doing it to him isn't the same as him hitting you."

"It is and I want better for both of us." She replied, pulling into a parking spot outside the low brick building. Negan peered up at it warily, he hated cops and everything related to law enforcement. After his arrest, he never wanted to interact with another one again. Negan's opinion of them was that they were all cocksure assholes with chips on the shoulders, just waiting to find someone to fuck with. As life would have it, Negan seemed to wear a target on his back that said, 'Here piggy, piggy.'

Sherry sighed, her seat belt releasing loudly, "I know you hate them but behave."

"Fine." he grunted, unfolding himself from the car and standing up with his crutches. "As long as they aren't doing a cavity search I'll be on my best behavior."

 

* * *

They waited a half hour before they were taken to a large cubicle with two desks. One was clean and orderly, files stacked and labeled, rows of sticky pads and pens all evenly spaced. The other side was cluttered with coffee mugs and crumpled lunch wrappers. Sticky notes were pinned to different surfaces with notes and reminders. Both of the desks had framed family photos, the obsessively clean side showed off a willowy woman with a baby perched on her hip. Next to her was a lean teenager, the boy's shaggy hair hanging in his eyes.

Negan recognized them instantly, they were the kids he witnessed visiting Kayla. He was instantly on guard, his eyes flicking around the cubicle as they waited. Negan wasn't sure how they knew each other but when his eyes landed on the other person's desk he grew even more anxious. A silver picture frame held a photograph of Kayla, her arms wrapped around the muscle headed man who had visited her twice before. Seeing them side-by-side in the picture cemented the fact that they were related. Both had wide bright grins and dark eyes, their skin tones similar and dark hair thick and wavy.

"Whats wrong?" Sherry asked, her eyebrow raised as Negan scrubbed his face roughly. "You really hate these places that much?"

"After everything, yeah I do." He muttered, clearing his throat and sitting up straighter. Brushing off the sudden case of nerves, he pretended to be calm while inside he unraveled.

Kayla was related to someone in law enforcement. If she ever found out that he spied on her everyday and night, Negan would be beyond fucked. Not only would he end up in jail for being a depraved weirdo, he would most likely take the beat down of all beat downs. Police officers stuck together and Negan could only imagine how upset they would be, knowing he tugged off to Kayla at least twice a day.

"Sorry 'bout the wait." A thick southern accent announced as an officer entered the cubicle. The lean man stood wearing his tan uniform, clean and pressed, an apologetic smile on his smooth shaved face. He stuck his hand out to Sherry first and introduced himself, "I'm Sheriff Deputy Rick Grimes. I'm going to take you statement. You are Mrs. Stewart, correct?"

"Yes. You can call me Sherry." she replied, shaking his hand before touching Negan's shoulder. "This is my friend Negan. He's here just too…"

"Make sure she gets this fuckface sent away to Sing Sing where he can find himself a new significant other to smack around." Negan sneered, his teeth flashing maliciously. "Preferably one that likes to hit back."

Officer Grimes raised an eyebrow at the statement, his eyes flicking back and forth between the two before he responded, "Well, I'll see what I can do."

Negan smirked at the reply and rasped, "Excellent. Tell Deputy Do-Right what he needs to hear doll."

 

* * *

After a couple hours of interviewing and paperwork being filed, Negan and Sherry left the police station. As they stood outside sharing a cigarette before they departed, Negan noticed the dark haired man in the photo approaching. Watching out of the corner of his eye he saw Officer Grimes meet him outside, they both talked for a few moments before approaching.

"Sherry." Grimes announced, his hand gesturing to the man following him. "I just wanted to introduce you to my partner, Deputy Walsh. He will be working on your case also. If you ever have any concerns and I'm not available, Shane will be happy to help."

"Nice to meet you ma'am. Sorry it's under these circumstances but I'd like to assure you, neither Rick or I tolerate shit like this."

"Shane." Grimes grumbled under his breath.

"Sorry ma'am." Officer Walsh apologized with a flash of a wry grin. "I get a little… worked up when it comes to situations like these. I don't take it lightly and I'd like to make sure you're aware that you have people here in you're corner."

"Thank you Officer Walsh. I appreciate it." She replied, her voice hoarse and obviously becoming worked up over the situation. Officer Walsh turned his attention to Negan and asked, "and you are?"

"Negan." He replied, keeping his hands occupied with his cigarette and crutches to keep from shaking his hand. He was still on edge with interacting with someone who knew Kayla. Negan felt as though he were approaching dangerous territory.

"Negan's family. He helped me see I needed to report this."

"Well she wouldn't let me remove his testicles and shove them down his throat." Negan drawled through an exhale before flicking the butt into the street. "Figured maybe my tax dollars might be put to a good use for once."

Sherry jabbed him in the ribs, as the two officers seemed to be offended by his underhand comment.

"We appreciate citizens going through the proper channels." Officer Grimes replied graciously while Walsh's eyes narrowed and jaw tightened. Negan smirked at him, the idea of not stepping on their toes forgotten apparently.

"Don't mind Negan. He's just upset about Dw-."

"Don't say that fucks name Sherry." He grumbled, his eyes darkening. "unless you're giving a eulogy."

"Well Mr. Negan-." Officer Walsh started only to be interrupted.

"Just Negan."

"Okay _Just Negan_." The officer continued with a raised eyebrow. "We appreciate ya helpin' Sherry with motivation to report the situation. We'd also appreciate ya keepin' your distance from her husband. We understand the desire for retribution but let the law take care of this and he'll pay for his crimes."

"As long as he ends up taking it up the ass by some giant fucker with a thing for shit weasel blondes I'm cool. If he gets off and walks free he's going to end up with a pair cement shoes at the bottom of the Missis-fucking-sippi." Negan replied, giving them both a shit-eating grin. "Come on Sherry. It's time to pick up the kiddos. I promised Stevie I'd take him to the batting cages."


	6. Chapter 6

Negan hadn't seen the cat lady in at least two days. It wasn't as if he were paying that close attention to her but the sudden absence of sweet treat smells did stand out. In the afternoon she normally had her windows open to let the excessive heat out and with it came the intoxicating waves of fresh baked bread and cookies.

The change in routine stood out to Negan but he was actively trying to ignore the desire to meddle and analyze his neighbors. It wasn't working completely, it would be hard going cold turkey but Negan knew it was necessary. The next time he ran into Kayla he was going to ask her out and if he did that, then he had to let go of his inappropriate past time.

The phone laying on the coffee table brought his attention back from the courtyard outside. The unknown number made him tilt his head to the side and hesitate, Negan was sick of telemarketer calls and other annoyances.

"Hello," he rasped, his eyes looking up at the ceiling with a heavy sigh.

"Hey, Negan?"

"Yeah and who might this be?" he drawled lazily, pinning the phone to his shoulder while picking up the TV remote before tossing aside. He was sick of television and being stuck indoors also.

"It's T-dog man, you forget me that damn fast?"

Chuckling Negan replied, "Now, how can I forget a dipshit like you man, I just didn't recognize you're melodic telephone voice."

The man laughed heartily and replied, "Yeah well I'm gonna try to smooth talk you into something so I thought I'd use a little sugar."

T-dog used to work closely with the school, his church and after school programs kept the more troubled kids from staying on the streets causing havoc. The ex football player was one of the friendliest men Negan had ever met. They got along well, despite Negan's prickly personality and filthy fucking mouth.

"Oh fuck, what the hell are you trying to con me into doing man? If it has anything to do with a visit to the house of Jeebus, you can count me the fuck out. Unless you want the place to burst into flames and Satan's hell hounds to show up." Negan joked, combing his hair from his forehead. It was getting too long, the thick locks curling slightly and the temples and neck.

"Nah man." T-dog replied with a gruff laugh, "I wouldn't inflict you on any other parishioners man. They'd run screaming at the things your foul mouth comes up with."

"Damn fucking skippy. So what's up?"

T-dog sighed slightly, his side of the phone going silent for a moment before he charged ahead. "Look I heard about what happened, with Lucille and the school."

Negan rolled his eyes and sat back with a slump. "You got a point? Or are you trying to gossip like some church biddy."

"Yeah. I wanna offer you a job, unless you found something already."

Negan cocked his head to the side in thought, his brows furrowed. "Job doin' what?"

"Well, my after school program has expanded quite a bit. I have a new building being renovated and more programs that I need to have staffed. I have a baseball league starting up and I need a coach. I'd prefer they also do workshops, maybe even one on one mentorships. You're my first choice."

Negan was stunned for a long moment. It wasn't what he expected at all. He chewed his cheek before finally biting the bullet and asking, "You heard _why_ I was canned right?"

"I heard. I also know that everybody has downtimes man. I know things get tough and people make bad choices. I know you. I know what a good teacher and coach you are. Now if that type of behavior is an everyday occurrence, it obviously wouldn't work out but I think you'd be a good fit."

"How can you say that if you know what happened? I was arrested with a DUI, I got fired for misconduct."

"Man I work with kids that have records the size of the yellow pages. They're all works in progress and the last thing I need is someone who can't relate to them. They need people who have seen tough times and made it through it, not people who have never known hardships. I know you'd be perfect for it, man."

Negan was quietly thinking about it as T-dog went on. "Look, you don't have to decide right now but how about you stop by the place and check it out? Meet some of the kids and see how it'll fit ya."

"Alright." Negan replied while nodding along and adding, "I'm still on crutches though. I won't be able to do anything physically taxing for awhile."

"Not a problem. You can coach from the bench until you're all clear. You don't need to be running bases and catching fly balls. How about you come by this Friday. I have a few kids coming to help paint the new rec room."

"Okay T. Hey uh.. thanks man, I really appreciate it. I'll stop by in the afternoon. What's the address?"

After hanging up the phone Negan mulled over the offer. It wasn't something he'd ever thought of but the more he pondered it; the more he felt that it might work out. If T-dog wanted fuck ups to teach fellow fuck ups, Negan was definitely his man. He liked the youth pastor, he was a respected member of society but also down to earth. They'd gotten along and Negan couldn't remember ever wanting to throttle the guy.

"Hmm. Maybe I can work with kids who aren't giant pussies." Negan muttered out loud, rising from the sofa to get dressed. He had a hankering for a burger and now that he had a little sliver of good news, he decided he'd celebrate with an Asshole Al's bacon deluxe.

 

* * *

The line was ridiculously long making Negan to curse under his breath and struggle to keep from walking out. However he paid for an uber and would have to call for another one anyways, so he decided to wait it out. There were four people in front of him, two of which were wrangling a couple of kids, causing him to sigh deeply.

"Hey there you are." A soft voice spoke from the front of the line. Negan glanced up to see whom they were talking to and found Kayla smirking at him.

"What did you want again?" She asked as if they had meant to order together.

Negan smiled, hobbling his way to the front of the line, bypassing the disgruntled breeders and an over weight man with a deep scowl.

"Bacon deluxe, large fries and coke, of course darlin'." He replied with a grin, pulling out his wallet and handing over cash before she could try to pay. Kayla pouted at him causing Negan to grin wider. 'So fucking cute.' He thought with a smirk.

"Least I can do dollface." He drawled, watching as she grabbed their cups and headed to the fountain drinks. "You saved me from a hellish wait with ornery ankle biters."

"Well I heard the deep sighing and filthy curse words. I figured I was doing everyone a favor." She snarked, her lips pulling into a satisfied smirk.

Negan gave her a mock glare, his lips twitch in amusement, "You calling me a foul mouth."

"Fuck yeah I am." She quipped, her eyes playful. "Filthiest fucking mouth I've ever heard."

"Well besides your trash mouth that is right?" he joked, his eyebrows raised and teeth flashing. "Dirtiest girl I know."

Kayla barked out a laugh and playfully smack him as they sat down to wait for their food. "So hows things? It seems like your legs getting better."

"Yeah. It's slow going and I'm a pretty fucking tired of being a cripple but it's better than the chair." He replied, twisting the straw wrapper around his finger. Negan couldn't believe he was nervous to ask a woman out. He had never had a problem with slaying the ladies and couldn't ever remember being unsure about asking one to fuck, let alone just a dinner date.

Their order number was called out and Kayla rose before he even attempted. "I got it gimpy." She quipped with a flash of white teeth and twinkling eyes.

"Smartass." He muttered making her giggle as she walked away. Taking the opportunity to check her out, Negan let his eyes slide down her lithe frame. Her hips swayed as she wove through the others waiting, the tight denim accenting every dip and curve of her petite frame. Swallowing thickly he watched her turn around with the tray of food, her eyes meeting his as she approached. He watched the subtle curve of her chest bouncing with every step and her ponytail fall from her shoulder.

She was just as beautiful in a burger shop as when she dressed up for her date all those weeks ago. Kayla's chocolate colored hair was braided on the sides and swept up off her slender neck. She wore very little makeup that he could see, only a hint of liner accenting her warm hazelnut eyes and a bit of gloss was applied to her pink lips. Negan couldn't help but smile as she reached the table, her own lips quirking up as she plopped down in the wood chair.

"Damn." She muttered while eyeing his burger. "I might need to try that next time."

"What'd you get?" he asked looking at her burger with a raised eyebrow.

"It's the Cali Blue burger. It has red onions, avocado and blue cheese."

"Fuck blue cheese in its ass." He grunted, with a wrinkled nose. "That shit belongs in a sweaty tube sock, not your gorgeous mouth."

Kayla chuckled, her eyes lighting up and lips twitching. "Gorgeous mouth huh?"

"Fuck yeah." He replied, biting into his burger and chewing thoughtfully as if he wasn't kicking himself in the balls for revealing too much of his addiction to her.

"Well thank you." she replied, taking a healthy bite of her own burger. The moan she released while chewing had Negan squirming in his seat, his eyes darkening as she hummed in pleasure.

'Godfuckingdamnit.' He growled inwardly as his jeans zipper turned into a Venus flytrap biting his boner. Negan wasn't used to begging for pussy, he never had to try, even before the turn. Panties literally dropped with one of his bad boy grins, a little vulgar innuendo and boom, pussy galore all over his junk. He may have been married but it didn't stop his liaisons in the teacher lounge or under the fucking bleachers, pun intended.

"So I never asked, what do you do? I mean besides cuss out cabbies and growl at small children?" Kayla asked after they'd eaten half their meals. Negan tried to swallow the French fry in his dry throat, grimacing as it slid down like gravel. Drumming his fingers on his thigh, he replied, "Funny enough I was a teacher and coach. Middle school."

"Oh shit?" she exclaimed, "Are you serious? I don't know why but I can't picture you getting along with kids."

Negan snorted, sitting back some in his chair and replied, "Well don't judge an asshole by its cover I guess doll. I'm not working right now, after the accident and everything I got a pink slip but I just got an offer today. Gotta check it out Friday."

"Oh yeah doin' what?" she asked plopping a fry in her mouth and chewing thoughtfully. Negan paused as he watched her lick ketchup off her lip and thumb. "Uh… oh a coaching job with a friend. It's an after school program thing. Troubled youth."

Kayla smiled and teased, "yeah I think can see you working with the troubled youth."

Cocking an eyebrow he asked, "Oh yeah, why's that doll? You think I'm an ex-trouble maker?"

"Ex?" she teased, the corner of her lip pulling up into a crooked smirk. The sight had him grinning slowly, his eyes twinkling. "Well aren't you just mean. It's the leather huh? I look all rebel without a cause?"

"Pffft. You'd need a nice fucking car to pull that off, maybe a motorcycle."

"Well I did have a nice fucking car but a wall jumped out and smashed it." Negan replied with a eye roll. Kayla's mouth dropped open, "Damn. Sorry."

"You should be, that car was fucking boss." He muttered, flicking his paper wrapper at her. "Thanks for rubbing it in."

"You prefer me rubbing it off?" she asked with a coy smile, her eyebrows raised provocatively.

"Oooh doll, _do not_ fucking tease me." he joked, ignoring his steel hard dick practically knocking on the table for attention. "That's just cruel."

Kayla laughed, her head cocking to the side as she asked, "What kind was it?"

"67 Mustang. Black on black on black." He spoke with a sigh, "She was beauti-fucking-ful."

"So you crashed it into a wall, how does one pull that off?" she asked not knowing the sensitive subject. Negan rolled his eyes and muttered, "Don't drink and drive doll. Booze and bricks don't mix."

"Ahhh." She replied sipping her soda and commenting, "You are a bad boy."

Negan scoffed while rolling his eyes and crossing his arms. "Pfft. Hardly. Just a bad night."

Kayla seemed to sense the prickly subject and backed off much to Negan's relief. He tried to think of something to ask her that wouldn't reveal his obvious knowledge of her every move.

"So you go this weekend to check out the place?" she rescued the awkward tension by changing the subject. Negan nodded, letting out a breath in relief. "Yeah my friend T runs it. I guess they have a new facility and stuff. He wants me to meet some of the kids. See if I fit in."

"You will." Kayla replied with a smile. Negan raised an eyebrow and asked, "How do you know that?"

"I've got a good feeling about it." She said with a shrug and another appealing smile but without elaborating. Negan nodded, his grin flashing at her confidence for him. "Well let's hope you're right. I'm pretty fucking tired of staring at the walls in my apartment."

'Yeah because _that's_ what you stare at all day.' He scoffed inwardly.

Kayla laughed at the comment and offered, "Well I work from home doing web design, so I stare at my four walls all the damn time."

"You don't get sick of it?"

"Truthfully," she spoke with a little hesitation. "I kinda prefer it. I uh… have a hard time with people I guess. Working from home allows me to interact with people as little as I want while still supporting myself."

"You don't seem like you have a hard time."

Kayla pursed her lips and shrugged her shoulder a little. "I usually do but you… I mean I guess it's…"

"My suave fucking personality and bedroom eyes?" he offered, seeing her struggle with voicing her reasons. Kayla barked out a laugh, her frame relaxing and face no longer stressed. Negan smiled at the relief he saw in her eyes.

"Yes, I also enjoy your dimples and incredibly humble attitude." Kayla quipped, her eyes bright. "What're your plans today?"

Negan's brows rose to his hairline in surprise and he asked, "Nothing important. What do you have in mind."

"Well… uh this probably is something you totally wouldn't want to do." She started fading off, chewing her lip in thought. Cocking an eyebrow Negan replied, "You're killin' me with the suspense darlin'."

Kayla laughed lightly, her cheeks blushing as she looked away. "It's kinda silly but there's a new farmers market over on First and I was thinking about checking it out. They have a couple vintage booths. I collect vinyl and wanted to see if they had anything good."

Negan paused a moment giving Kayla enough time to start to doubt herself. "I mean its okay if you don't and I mean.. if your leg hurts or whatever. Nevermind..." She stammered, rolling her eyes at her rambling.

Negan chuckled, his head cocking to the side as he teased, "Vinyl huh? You seem to young to know what a record is."

Snorting Kayla rested her arms on the table while playing with her straw. "I'm not one of those weirdos who think everything sounds better on vinyl, its just nice to have a hobby I guess."

"As long as you don't mind a leisurely stroll, I'm down." He replied, a grin sliding on his face when she smiled widely at his acceptance. "I need some groceries, I might as well get something healthy."

"Cool." She chirped before biting her lip and ducking her head slightly. Negan enjoyed that she was as nervous around him, as he was her, it evened the playing field. Maybe asking her out on a date would be that much easier and now that they were spending more casual time together, maybe he could stop watching her from a far.

 

* * *

"You've got to be fucking kidding me." Negan scoffed while looking at the album Kayla was holding in her hands. "White Snake?"

Kayla glared at him and retorted, "You got a problem with White Snake? What are you some kind of commie?"

Negan barked out a laugh, his head thrown back as he replied, "Hardly. I just can't believe you're a fan of 80s hairbands."

"I listen to just about anything." She replied while thumbing through a large bin of records. "Why narrow yourself to one genre when there's so much cool shit out there?" she asked rhetorically. Negan smirked at her pretending to not know she had wildly eclectic taste.

"Well more power to you dollface." He replied, hobbling his way through the tiny aisle under the canvas tent. "I still think you're a weirdo."

"Pffft. You think you're the first one to call me a weirdo." She muttered, her lips twitching. "You should hear my brother. He used to joke I was adopted or the mailman's kid."

Snorting Negan decided to take the opportunity to find out more about the man he met at the police station. "So just one sibling?"

"Yeah. Shane." She replied, moving onto another box of Lp's. "He's older but acts like he's younger. He's a sheriff deputy."

"Uh oh." Negan joked, "He will not like you hanging out with a bad boy."

Rolling her eyes she quipped, "He has no right to judge. The things he used to do as a kid would make a DUI seem like nothing."

"Oh yeah. Like what?"

"Jeez ummm." She drawled, her eyes looking to the tent above before a smile slid onto her face. "This one time he stole the principal's car and parked on a chicken farm with a open bag of seed on the back seat."

Negan grinned widely and asked, "What happen?"

"He ran back before lunch was over and told him that someone stole his coupe."

"Cute."

"Yep. The coupe was a full blown coop by the time he found it. Thing ended up at the junkyard. They couldn't get the chicken shit out of the leather upholstery."

"That's cruel." Negan commented, "No one should fuck with another man's car."

Kayla laughed and shook her head. "You didn't know the principal. He was such an asshole."

"Most teachers are." Negan replied with a coy grin, limping around a table to see what she was holding. "Jesus, Journey too huh?"

"Hell fucking yes. Come on, Don't Stop Believing? _Classic."_ She said with a little sing songy tone. "Wheel in the Sky, Faithfully, Send Her My Love? All fucking awesome to listen too and sing. You can't go wrong with Journey."

"I'll remember that when I need to seduce the ladies." He flirted, winking at her while picking up another record and wagging it in her face. "How about this one Miss Hair Band?"

Kayla barked out a laugh and took the copy of Twisted Sister. "I already have this one." She replied sticking her tongue out at him childishly before sliding it back into the bin.

Negan's head was thrown back as he laughed, his twinkling eyes meeting hers. "You are somethin' else Kay."

The smile she awarded him with had his jeans tightening and his stomach clenching as she bumped his shoulder with hers playfully. "Is that bad?"

"No." he spoke softly, his head bowing a little to hide the grin splitting his face in two. "It's pretty fucking nice actually."

The blush crawling up her neck had Negan smiling slyly. He wanted to see how far down the flushed pink skin went and with that thought he began picturing what it would be like to see her underneath him. Her chest heaving and flushed, tight little nipples begging to be sucked and licked.

'Fuck. Think about baseball. Your grandmothers wrinkly batwings. Dead puppies. Projectile vomiting babies.' He cursed himself inwardly, trying to shove away the images of a writhing Kayla all sweaty and begging for a good dicking. If he didn't get control of his crotch monster he might burst out his pants and maul her.

"Okay." She announced, snapping his attention back to her pretty little face. "I think I found enough. Should we get you some groceries now?"

"Sure." He replied after clearing his throat roughly, tipping his chin towards the tent across the way. "They got flowers too."

After he mentioned it, his body froze as he realized he slipped up. 'How do you know she likes flowers dumbass? Oh because you're a peeping tom fuck.' He sneered inwardly, his nervous eyes not meeting hers to avoid suspicion. When she spoke however, he realized she hadn't noticed anything odd about the statement.

"Cool." She replied, a softly smile curling her lips. "It's my weekly splurge."

 

* * *

Kayla sat the bags of fresh fruit and vegetables on Negan's kitchen counter, the woman having to help him yet again to his apartment. Negan couldn't help but picture pinning her against the counter and consuming her mouth. She looked perfect in his place, as though she belonged.

"Thanks for coming with me." She broke his domestic day dreams or her making breakfast while he wrapped her up from behind and sunk his nose into her messy hair.

"Thanks for inviting me." He replied, his dimples flashing as he approached her. Swallowing a ball of nerves, Negan rolled his bottom lip between his teeth before speaking, "Could I take you out to dinner sometime? Or we can do dinner here or your place. I'm a shit cook but I can order things pretty confidently."

Kayla smiled, her cheeks blushing under his playful gaze. Negan leaned against the counter, his hand reaching out to encircle her wrist. He brushed his thumb across the delicate joint before weaving his fingers in between hers.

"I'd love that." Kayla answered softly while stepping forward into his chest. Negan mouth opened but no words came to him as she bounced up on her toes, kissing his cheek before stepping away. Her wrist slid from his hand and she headed to the door. Negan stood there dumbly as she smiled coyly at the door.

"I put my number in your phone. Text me a day and time." She instructed, giving him a playful wave before sliding out of the apartment. Standing there staring at the space Kayla had just been in, Negan touched the spot she'd kissed.

Closing his eyes a moment he savored the memory of her soft lips before pulling his phone out and texting her instantly.

" _Pick you up Saturday night at seven."_ \- Negan

" _Sounds excellent. One question, are you giving me a piggyback ride?_ "- Kayla

" _Ha ha ha. Do you make fun of everyone with disabilities?_ "- Negan

" _No, just you."_ -Kayla

" _Well I feel soooo blessed."_ \- Negan

" _You should. I'm hilarious and have good taste in burger condiments."_ \- Kayla

" _One half of that statement is true and it's not the one that claims the taste of toe jam is appealing."_ \- Negan

" _It's an acquired taste."_ –Kayla

" _You know what's not an acquired taste? ;-)"_ \- Negan

" _Let me guess? Your balls?"-_ Kayla

" _Look at my dirty girl. I was gonna say my sense of humor but you had to get all filthy as fuck. Don't get me wrong, my balls are pretty delectable."_ \- Negan

" _Shush_ _. Okay Saturday at seven. Oh and good luck with the job. It'll be great, I know things."_ -Kayla

Negan stared at the last messages and smiled, his fingers tapping out a quick reply without allowing himself to question the words. " _Thanks doll. Looking forward to seeing you again."_ -Negan

" _Me too :-)_ "- Kayla

 


	7. Chapter 7

Negan entered the building T-dog's youth programs were being relocated too. The warehouse and administration building had been converted into the home base for T's House, an after-school program for at risk adolescents and teens. Negan wandered a few hallways, peering into different rooms set up as offices and classrooms. He heard voices coming from the large area once used as a warehouse, the space being converted into a large rec-room. Smirking he saw T-dog instructing a few teens on what to paint. Negan noticed it was both boys and girls listening, all appeared to be in their mid teens.

"Aww hell no! Who let this guy in?" T-dog announced with a huge grin, strolling over to Negan. Rolling his eyes he retorted, "Probably the same guy who let your dumbass run this joint."

The men gave each other a firm bro hug, complete with loud back smacking. "Good to see you bro." T-dog exclaimed, motioning to the kids behind him. "Come meet some of the kids."

Negan looked over the group of five teenagers, three boys and two girls. The boys were holding the ladders and painting the walls a neutral tan while the girl's had the white trim halfway done. One girl had long brunette hair twisted into a loose ponytail. Her torn jeans stuffed into big black boots. She reminded him of Kayla in a way. The second girl was a fiery redhead, her face overly made up with thick lashes and blood red lips. She snapped gum obnoxiously while giving him a little flirty wave.

'Oh great.' Negan huffed inwardly, the girl screamed trouble. He'd seen it before and he'd see it again, the adventurous girl looking to play grown up. The three males were wearing the average too low denims and crooked ball caps. Negan narrowed his eyes at the edges of gang tattoos peeking out from under the collar of one of the kids t-shirts.

"Guys, this is my good friend Negan." T-dog announced before gesturing to each teen. "Here we have Enid and Becca. And those three stooges are Zach, Louis and Felix."

"How's it hanging?" Negan greeted with a grin, tipping his chin to T-dog. "This fucker workin' you like sweatshop slaves huh?"

The kids looked at him with wide eyes and slack mouths. T-dog snorted while shaking his head and crossing his thick arms. "Smooth, man. Real smooth. Don't listen to this foul mouth. I don't want to hear anything he says come out of your mouths. Got me? Follow me dumbass, I'll show you around."

Negan snickered, limping after the man before tossing over his shoulder. "See all you ladies later."

The girl's burst into laughter as a few curse words were thrown at his back. Negan's return laughter bellowed in the long hallway, his grin wide and eyes lively. T-dog smacked him up side he head and drawled, "C'mon man. Making me look bad."

"You're just jealous because I'm the fucking cool one." Negan quipped winking at him as they reached another section of the facility.

"Damn right." The dark skinned man replied, his gap tooth grin making Negan smiled wider. "Man it's good to see you."

Rolling his eyes Negan replied, "Whatever fucker. No need for the reach around. I'm already here."

"Yeah, yeah. I'm still happy to see you. You seem good, better than I figured."

"Gee wiz thanks negative Nancy. I'm glad I can exceed you're low expectations and not be a total fucking train wreck." Negan deadpanned, limping into a room set up for classes or group counseling sessions. "So tell me about this place."

"Well, we have the regular after school programs. Tutoring, big brother, big sister. We used to only do youth service counseling at church with parishioners kids but now we have two counselors on staff that have worked with homeless youth before. The baseball team is still in the making and that's what I'd like you to spearhead. I want what works in real life, not what a bureaucracy decides at some school board. I know of four other programs throughout the state that our team could play. We are also starting a trade school program, mainly it'll be auto repair and plumbing because I have experience with both."

"Damn man, you have been fucking busy. Here I am fucking my life up and you're savin' the world, one juvie at a time."

"Nah. You've been through tougher shit than me working with good kids who just want a chance. I don't blame you or judge what you did or didn't do." T-dog said, his hand gripping Negan's shoulder. If it had been anyone else, Negan would've blown him off, shrugged the comforting hand away with a snide remark filled with curses.

Dropping his chin to his chest, he gave T-dog a side glance and rasped, "thanks man."

"No problem. I'm all for second chances brother." He gave him a gap toothed grin and tipped his chin to the room. "This is the counseling room. Michonne and Andrea will work in here doing group sessions and one on ones. You'll meet them and work together with any of the kids who need more help."

"Scale of sexy secretary to cute dental hygienist, how hot are they?"

"Man, I'm not even gonna dignify that with an answer and that'll be the last of that unless you want you ass handed to you by a ninja and an ex lawyer who knows everything and if she doesn't she will convince you otherwise."

Negan snorted and muttered, "kinda sounds like I might need to wear my looser jeans around these firecrackers, give myself room to grow."

"Don't say I didn't warn you."

 

* * *

Sitting at the old sticky bar top inside a local hole in the wall pub, Negan laughed as T-dog retold an old football story. Resting his elbows on the lacquered wood, he sipped his pint with a lazy grin. "Man you should've seen their faces." The ex player chuckled, motioning for another beer.

"So tell me, any new ladies?" T-dog asked once he had his large hand wrapped around another sweaty glass.

"Pfft." Negan snorted, sliding his eyes over to his friends. "Come on. I have enough shit going on. I don't have time for some clingy broad." He tried to convince himself along with T-dog but knew it was a lie. Kayla was all he wanted in his life.

"Whatever bro, lord knows you never let anything slow you down before." T-dog joked, elbowing him. "Don't pretend to not be a damn Don Juan."

Negan threw his head back in amusement and elbowed the other man away. "Fuck off man. I don't need anymore baggage."

"Don't deny it." His friend drawled with a sly grin, sipping his drink. "Who is she? I can tell there's someone, you're too defensive."

Rolling his eyes, Negan muttered, "a neighbor."

"How long you been seein' her?" T-dog asked, the man completely unaware of how conflicting the answer could be. Negan smothered a nervous laugh and replied, "tomorrow's our first real date. We've hung out a few times but we're doing dinner tomorrow."

"Sweet man. That's cool. What's she like?"

"Fucking beautiful." Negan replied with a smirk, shrugging his shoulders and leaning heavier on the bar top. "Smart, funny as fuck. Sure as shit gives me a run for my money."

Smiling at him, T-dog said, "you're hard up for her."

Clearing his throat, Negan shook his head and avoided his eyes while answering, "I mean she's alright."

"Riiiiiight. Well good luck tomorrow. Where you taking her?"

"I was thinking this little Italian place in Hilltop." He replied,

"Luigi's?"

"Yeah."

"Good choice. That place is nice, best lasagna around besides my wife's." T-dog said, sipping his drink before adding, "so beautiful huh?"

Snorting, Negan gulped the last of his drink and replied, "Unsettlingly so."

"Good. Maybe it'll shrink your damn ego."

"Doubt it." Negan quipped with a dimpled grin, "my _ego_ is way too fucking big to ever shrink man."

 

* * *

When Negan arrived home from having drinks with T-dog, he limped into the living room. There was something off, a feeling as if something was out of place but he blew it off as a side effect of the alcohol. Plopping onto the sofa he was about to turn the TV on when he finally pinpointed the source of the odd sensation. It was pitch black across the courtyard, Kayla's place was cloaked in shadows. Furrowing his brow, Negan tried to think of a time when she wasn't up at midnight. She didn't have a social life and usually worked until two or three in the morning. She was a total night owl. He couldn't recall a single night when she was out in the middle of the night except when she went on that one and only date.

"Where'd you go doll?" Negan murmured, standing up to peer out the window to the parking lot. Her little car was parked in its normal spot, which had him raising an eyebrow. It meant she either walked, which was unlikely, unless she had a sudden hankering to be mugged. That thought alone made him clench his jaw tightly. The other option was she went out with someone, which had him squirming uncomfortably also. They were getting dinner the next evening and didn't think she would be seeing someone else the night before.

Chewing his lip, he glanced back at the dark windows, the large squares vacant of the normal buzzing life. Frowning , he sat down and pulled his phone out, looking for an text messages. Pulling up their last conversation he contemplated texting her but knew if he did, it would be motivated by an invasion of her privacy.

"Fuck." He grunted, scratching his jaw. Turning on the TV he pretended to pay attention to the newscaster instead of the dark windows across the courtyard.

Negan tried to convince himself he just wanted to make sure she was safe and sound but he couldn't stop himself from feeling anxious at seeing who she was with, if anyone.

 

* * *

A sharp sound woke him sometime later, Negan scrubbing his eyes as he got his bearings. Looking at the clock he saw that it was three in the morning, way later than he thought. Yawning, he stood up and limped over to the window and squinted at Kayla's place to see if she'd come home.

Blinking he stared at the wall of white, all the curtains were now pulled closed like a huge fuck off. Worrying his lip, Negan tried to calm his pounding heart as cold fear trickling down his spine at the idea of her finding out he watched her. Maybe she was aware that he knew more about her than he'd known about his dead wife.

"Calm down." He muttered to himself, scrubbing his face roughly. "Don't freak the fuck out."

The curtains in her bedroom were slightly gaped and his eyes glued themselves to the sliver of room visible. Leaning in he watched a shadow moved across the little space, his eyes narrowing as the shape seemed masculine.

"Fuck." He grumbled, a tight feeling cinching his chest. "Please don't be a dude. For fucksakes."

Another sharp sound travelled across the courtyard, Negan's heart speeding up at the suspicious noise.

Sliding his patio door open, he stepped out and listened intently. He began to think he was losing his goddamn mind until a distinctive shout came from Kayla's side of the complex, as well as the sound of breaking glass.

Gripping the handrail he cocked his head to the side, his eyes desperately scanning her windows for any signs of a something terrible happening but the damn curtains were obstructing the view. Another flash of a figure had his breath catch, as Kayla was suddenly visible on her bed. The narrow slit in the fabric allowed Negan to see the dark haired woman laying on the bed, her fingers twisting the fabric.

"Fuck." He growled, unsure of what he should do. There was a chance nothing but a good roll in the sheets was occurring but he couldn't help feel as if something was terribly wrong. Sliding inside he grabbed his cell phone, dialing the emergency line phone number but holding his thumb above the send button. He didn't know if he were doing the right thing and what would he say, the girl he happened to stalk had closed her windows and shut him out? That he thinks he heard a scream and peered in to see her in bed?

Shaking his head he watched her bedroom window. Dread seeped into his veins at the idea that Kayla was in trouble and he was standing there with his dick in his hand, metaphorically speaking for the first time.

"Goddamn it." He huffed, hitting send while watching her place for any movement.

"911 operator what is your emergency?" A professional sounding voice spoke in Negan's ear.

"Uhhh." He started but faltered, unsure of what his emergency actually was, a strange sound?

"This is 911. State your emergency."

"I uh heard a sound. It sounded like a scream.. sorta." Negan spoke haltingly, his eyes widening, as the curtains were suddenly ripped free from the curtain rod exposing the scene hidden behind it. Kayla was frantically trying to open the sliding glass door, her face bloodied and clothing disheveled, a shadowed figure in the background.

"Oh fuck." He shouted, his body suddenly entering his apartment while limping quickly. The emergency operator was speaking loudly into his ear, asking him where he was and what was going on. Pinning the phone between his ear and shoulder, Negan grabbed the baseball bat next to his front door and exited his place with no hesitation. Half running down the hallway awkwardly, his leg brace made him hop like an idiot.

"My neighbor." He spoke out of breath while speed walking, "She's being attacked."

"What is the address of the incident?"

Negan rattled it off while moving as quickly as he could, the giant U-shaped building suddenly feeling gigantic. "I'm almost there." He rasped, his voice winded as he moved more than he had in weeks.

"Sir don't interfere, the police are on their way."

"Fuck that." He muttered, hanging up as he turned the last corner before hobbling to her apartment door. Once there though, he had no idea what to do. If he knocked whatever was going on could get worse, whoever was inside with her could kill her.

Growling with frustration, he stepped back and using all his body weight, slammed his huge shoulder into the wood paneling. The lock buckled under the hit as wood splintered and he practically fell inside. Catching himself he looked around and saw things thrown around the room, broken glass and splatters of blood. Raising his bat, he strode through her living room into her bedroom where he found Kayla crumpled on the floor. Setting the bat down next to her, Negan felt for a pulse. Her eyes shot open as he touched her, Kayla's hand instantly clutching his wrist.

"It's me. It's Negan." He rasped, holding her hand and looking over the long cut that curved across her temple and cheek. Whoever had attacked her left a permanent mark stretched along her face.

"He?" She choked, her lip swollen and dripping blood.

"I think he's gone." Negan replied, looking up towards her bathroom and closet wondering if the guy was actually still in the apartment. Glancing over his shoulder he saw the patio door open and the curtains pulled from the rod.

"Cops are coming Kay." He murmured, his hand reaching for a t-shirt from under her bed. "Gotta stop the bleeding doll."

Placing it to her face, Negan cringed as she sobbed in pain. "Sorry sweetheart. Gotta stop it."

Kayla writhed as he tried to stem the blood flow, her hands gripping his wrist as he whispered apologies. Red and blue lights began to light up the courtyard, the strobing motioning making the dark bedroom eerie.

"Their almost here baby." He murmured, "it's gonna be okay. Stay with me doll."

The sudden shouts from the doorway had Negan wide eyed and surprised. Two officers held him at gunpoint, their demands shouted at the loudest decibel possible.

"Step away from the girl!" They ordered loudly.

"I can't. She's bleeding out!" He growled, his hand still pressing the cloth to Kayla's wounded face.

"Step away or we will shoot you."

"Fuck." Negan growled, slowly letting go of the blood soaked towel and raised his hands.

His eyes were glued to the injured woman as the police officers approached him, yanking his arms behind his back. She was staring at him with wide eyes, her bloodied face swollen and raw, gasping for breath as she trembled. Negan was slammed into the wall as they handcuffed his bloody hands together.

"You don't get it. I called the cops." He snarled as they began yanking him from the apartment. As they exited the bedroom EMTs entered and instantly began working on Kayla.

Negan did everything the cops told him knowing things would get cleared up eventually but he couldn't help but feel pissed off. He heard them speaking to her, and her voice rising loudly as they drug him away roughly. Negan's knee was screaming in pain, the running and kneeling next to her fallen body doing nothing to help recover from his injury. "Easy man, I'm injured."

"Oh yeah, not as bad as her." The cop sneered as he tried to shove Negan inside a police car. He grunted as his leg was crammed into the small space, immense pressure building up in his strained knee.

"Fuck man." He grunted at the cop trying to shove the brace inside. "It's already broken fuckface, stop trying to bend it in half."

"Shut your goddamn mouth."

"Look man I called the fucking cops. The asshole was gone when I got there for fucksakes. I was fucking helping."

"Shut up." He barked before slamming the door.

"Asshole." Negan hollered, tugging at his too tight restraints. It was a few minutes before Kayla was wheeled out on a gurney, her face covered in bandages but it didn't stop her from grabbing a uniformed officer. Her voice was raised as she pointed at him in the back of the police car. She refused to let them take her as she shouted at the men. Suddenly the car door was opened and another officer pulled Negan out. He unlocked the cuffs and spoke gruffly, "sorry about the confusion sir. We had to be cautious."

"No problem." He grunted, his eyes glued on Kayla as they still waited to leave in the ambulance.

"You can go with your girlfriend sir. Again, sorry about the confusion."

Furrowing his brow he opened his mouth to deny the claim only to be interrupted by Kayla speaking loud enough for him to hear, "come on baby."

Biting his cheek to keep from smirking at her lie, Negan joined her in the back of the ride.

"We don't normally allow this." The paramedic spoke, her dark eyes flicking back and forth between the two. "But this feels like extenuating circumstances. Plus your leg looks like it might need to be checked out."

"Thanks." He rasped, sitting down with his braced limb stretched out. Kayla was laying silently, her one eye swollen shut as blood soaked her bandages. It was gruesome and Negan couldn't help but frown deeply at the sight. She looked so broke, so fragile. The EMT was keeping pressure on it while writing down numbers from the machines hooked up to her fingers and chest.

"How?" She croaked, her one bloodshot eye looking at him.

"I heard a scream." He replied briefly, not wanting the paramedic to hear their conversation because everyone was under the impression he was her boyfriend, not her creepy neighbor.

"Thank you." She whispered, her lips trembling, "I... he.. I couldn't..."

"Shhh." He stopped her, his hand touching her bruised hand gently, "Just relax. Let's get you taken care of alright? You're safe now."

Nodding slightly, she rest her head back on the thin mattress as her eye drooped with exhaustion.

"Kayla." The woman next to him spoke loudly, "Kayla I need you to stay awake alright?"

"M'tired."

"You gotta stay awake. You've lost a lot of blood. I need to stay with me."

Negan heart was racing, as hers seemed to be fading, her head bobbing as sleep took over.

"Fuck. Pressure is dropping." The EMT grumbled under her breath, shouting over her shoulder, "Step on it Ford."

The sirens on top were instantly turned on and the vehicle was flying down the road faster with the situation turning deadly. The machines began beeping, causing the woman in uniform to go to work.

"Fuck what's going on? What's wrong with her."

"Stay calm." She snapped, pulling out vials and needles. "Alright here we go sweetheart. Stay with us." After pushing a syringe full of clear liquid into Kayla's IV the EMT began compressions as Kayla's heart struggled.

"Fuck. What the fuck? She was just ok!"

"I need you to stay calm." The paramedic instructed, squeezing the large plastic ball to push air into Kayla's lungs. "She's lost a lot of blood."

The last few moments of the ride were filled with absolute terror as the EMT kept working over the bloodied woman. Negan felt helpless watching the girl he'd become so attached to, struggle to stay alive.

The paramedic kept doing compressions as the back doors were flung open. A large crew of medical professionals pulled her out while the EMT stayed on top of her pumping her heart. Negan tried to keep up but was pushed to a stop at the swing emergency door.

"I need you to stay here sir." A blonde nurse spoke, "we'll get you when we've stabilized her."

"No I gotta go. I gotta be there." He growled, peering into the back of the emergency room to see the doctor's holding paddles, shocking her bare chest with a cardiac defibrillator.

"Stay here sir. We're doing everything we can. I'll be right out." The blonde said before rushing in to help. Negan stayed at the tiny window, the man used to being on the outside of Kayla's life but far from comfortable with the distance now. Growling, he bit his cheek as he watched them sticking needles and tubes into her. A giant machine was brought in as they shoved another piece of tubing down her throat. Negan knew what that machine was, he'd watched Lucille wither away while hooked up to one. It meant Kayla wasn't breathing on her own, that she was just steps away from dying and just like before, there was nothing Negan could do to stop it.

Turning away he began to pace, raking his hands through his hair as he took deep breaths while limping back and forth.

"She's just your fucking neighbor." He told himself, while scrubbing his eyes. "You don't know her that much. It's not like before. She isn't Lucille. She isn't yours."

 

* * *

It seemed to be hours before anyone exited the room and when the blonde did she looked grim. Negan held his breath as he waited to see what she'd say but knew deep down it was bad news.

"Sir." She spoke softly. "We're taking your girlfriend to surgery would you like to see her before she goes?"

Negan felt dread fill him at the woman's tone, she sounded very unsure about the outcome of whatever surgery they were taking her for.

"What is the surgery for?"

"For the facial lacerations." The nurse replied as they walked towards the curtained room. "She lost a lot of blood and we lost her for a little while there but she's stable as of right now. We've given her a transfusion and put her on supportive measures. She's on the ventilator but will most likely be off soon after the surgery."

"Is she gonna be okay?" He rasped, his eyes prickling as he found himself standing at the end of the bed, the woman pale and sickly. Her face was covered in bandages, blood soaking through the white cotton.

"She's stable and the surgeon working on her lacerations is very, very good."

"We've got to go sir..." another voice spoke next to him.

Moving forward Negan bent down to Kayla's visible ear and lay a hand on her unblemished cheek. "I'm sorry I didn't get there sooner sweetheart." He rasped through a raw throat.

Negan couldn't stop himself from laying his lips on her pale temple, her skin cool and sticky. Pulling back Negan saw the nurse covertly wipe her eye before the bed was pulled out of the tiny curtain stall.

Sighing, he tilted his head back and swallowed through a thickness he knew all too well. A solid knot of despair and helplessness clogged his throat and had him marching out of the ER and into the cool night. Air, he just needed air.

 


	8. Chapter 8

Negan was sitting in the surgical waiting room, the majority of the chairs empty save for a group of teary eyed older women. He stared numbly at the TV showing the nightly weather report with its sound off and the table strewn the old magazines. Everything was far to familiar and he had moments where he thought everything had been a dream and he was still waiting for Lucille to die. Clenching his eyes shut, Negan scratched his hands through his hair roughly and let out a long slow breath.

'This isn't then.' He assured inwardly. 'She's gone but Kay's not. She's gonna be just fucking fine.'

The door to the waiting room slammed open and two police officers came in, both scanning the room for someone. Negan cocked an eyebrow as they focused on him. Recognizing Kayla's brother and his partner, Negan waited for them to begin their interrogation. He could only imagine what the guy was thinking when his fellow officers spoke of a mysterious boyfriend.

"I remember you." Shane drawled, his eyes narrowed and jaw just as tight as his fists. His partner stepped forward, "You were with your friend and the domestic abuse charges correct?"

"Yeah, Sherry." Negan rasped, clearing his throat and raking a hand through his messy hair.

"How do you know Kayla?" Shane snapped, his chest heaving and eyes angry. "And why the fuck-."

"Shane." Rick drawled, his hand resting on Shane's shoulder. "Easy brother."

Negan would normally talk shit and push buttons, however he knew it wasn't the time for such antics. "She's my neighbor. We've… hung out a few times."

"How were you involved in this?" Shane asked, shrugging of his partner's hand.

"I wasn't fucking involved." Negan growled, rage bubbling up as he remembered what Kayla looked like when he entered her apartment. Her crumpled form and bloodied face, the swelling around her eye and lips. "I heard her scream. I saw from my patio the guy attacking her and called the cops. When I got there he was gone and she was..."

Shaking the images from his head, Negan rubbed his face roughly and sighed. "Fucker cut her up. I didn't see who did it."

"Did she say?" Rick asked, his voice hoarse and strained for control.

"No, she passed out and then-" Negan paused, clenching his jaw shut to control the emotions bubbling up. He couldn't even begin to talk about her needing CPR and cardiac paddles. "They uh… got her stable and sent her up to surgery."

"Have you heard anything?"

"No."

"This is bullshit." Shane grunted before marching over to the small reception desk and demanding answers.

"I apologize, he's… stressed."

"No fucking shit." Negan grunted, looking at his large hands. They were mostly blood free but he could see it crusted under his nails and creased in his knuckles. He could still feel how warm it had been as he pressed cloth to her face, the thick fluid seeping through his fingers. Rick seemed to notice also, his eyebrow rising at the sight.

"She was bleeding so fucking much." Negan muttered as he caught Rick staring at his hands. "I tried to stop it but it hurt her so goddamn bad."

Sitting down next to him heavily with his head bowed, Rick replied, "Thank you for what you did. Kayla… she's a sister to me. Known her, all her life and.. just thank you."

Dipping his chin, Negan didn't reply. He couldn't because the tightness in his throat and the burning under his eyelids was making him all too aware of the weakness inside him. If he spoke, he might break, so he only nodded.

"They say she's in recovery now." Shane announced as he returned to them. "Fuckers didn't want to tell me. Said they have procedures to follow. Amazing what a little gold badge will do."

"So, we wait?" Rick asked, his eyebrows raised and mouth scowled.

"Doc should be out soon." Shane explained while pacing back and forth, his fists balled up. "Now, what the fuck happened?"

Negan sighed, raking a hand through his hair before explaining again what happened and how he was involved. By the end, Shane was still seething but thankful for Negan's intervention. They were sitting silently when the waiting room door was pushed open and a tall doctor with blonde hair entered. He wore medical scrubs and a surgical mask hung from his neck.

"The Walsh family?"

"Here." Shane exclaimed, standing up to meet the doctor halfway.

"Let's have a seat." The surgeon offered, his hand "I'm Dr Pete Anderson and I'm the surgeon who worked on Ms. Walsh."

"Shane Walsh, her brother." The dark haired man said before asking, "Tell me what's going on."

"Kayla came in with some pretty serious facial lacerations and contusions. When she arrived she was in hypovolemic shock due to the blood loss. When the body loses that much fluid it effects every other system. Fortunately she isn't showing any signs of permanent damage to any organs. Her heart is strong and steady. She was placed on life support prior to her surgery to give her body a rest and relief from the pain. She suffered a concussion, two cracked ribs and a sprained wrist but the facial damage was our main concern. I was able to repair the lacerations but I'll warn you, there will be scarring. Kayla may end up needing additional reconstructive surgeries depending on the nerves ability to heal. She was given three transfusions to help with blood loss and is now in recovery waking up."

"Is she still on the vent?" Negan rasped, his hands fisted in his lap. The ventilator was a sign of death to Negan, ever since Lucille he couldn't think of anything else.

The doctor looked over at him after having focused on Shane and replied, "She's breathing on her own now and stable. I don't see her needing anymore supportive measures now that we've dealt with the blood loss."

"How bad is it? The facial injuries." Rick asked leaning forward on his elbows, his hands clasped between his knees.

"It was a very serious injury. It starts from her temple, continues over her cheek and ends at her jaw line. Now it will look worse in the beginning. There is quite a bit of swelling around the eyes and on the cheek from blunt force trauma but also from being repaired. I would say in two weeks we should begin to see just how much damage there was to the nerves and how the scars will heal. In four to six weeks we will know if a second surgery will be needed."

The group of men were quiet a moment as the realization of the permanence of her injuries sunk in. The event was over but they would effect her forever.

Shane croaked after the silence became stifling. "Can we see her?"

 

* * *

Kayla looked tiny in the giant white bed surrounded by machines. Negan blinked his eyes several times as flashbacks of Lucille's death bed flickered by, before things came back into focus. Standing at the foot of the bed, he watched as Shane hovered over her, looking over the gauze and cotton. He stroked hair from her forehead and whispered a few words the others couldn't hear. Negan clenched his jaw as he focused on her bruised hands, her knuckles split from fighting off whoever attacked her. He wanted to hunt the bastard down and destroy him. Negan wanted to find him and put his Louisville slugger straight through the cowardly fucks skull.

"Sorry to interrupt but we prefer to keep it to one visitor at a time." A voice spoke from the doorway. Negan glanced at her and realized she was familiar face. The petite woman had tended to Lucille for the last half of her hospital stay and had always been kind to them both.

"Can we get a few minutes Sara?"

"Negan? I didn't see you there. Yeah take your time." She spoke softly, before slipping out to the nurses station. He saw her murmur to another nurse, who glanced at them. Lucille had been a favorite patient for many, his wife having been hospitalized for months on end got to know most of the wards nurses quite well.

When she left, Shane asked snidely, "another girlfriend?"

"She was my wife's nurse." Negan admitted, avoiding their eyes and judgements.

"You're married?" Rick asked, his eyebrows raised.

Clearing his throat, Negan rasped, "I was."

The room was quiet as understanding silenced them. He could see the questions and decided to cut off any further conversation on the matter.

"Cancer."

The one word was enough to explain the situation and end it. Negan wasn't above using others discomfort with the C-word to avoid discussions he didn't want. He figured the least the cancerous motherfucker could do was relieve him of having to speak about it. Ever.

Soon, visiting hours were over and the nurses needed the room to change out fluids and administer medications. Negan stopped at the edge of the bed after Shane and Rick stepped out and bent down to Kayla's ear.

"I'll find him, Kay. He'll pay dear-motherfucking-ly for this." Kissing her gently on the temple he whispered, "Wake up soon, doll. We were just gettin' started."

 

* * *

"I bet that little fucker Kyle did this shit." Shane sneered, texting away on his phone. "That prick is going down."

"He's the ex right?" Negan asked, his hands tucked in his jean pockets.

"Yeah, goddamn loser wouldn't stop callin' her." Shane muttered, his eyes flicking to Negan's. "She didn't say he was still comin' around? Have ya seen him there?"

"No just when she moved in." Negan replied feeling awkward about divulging knowledge of Kayla's life. They didn't need to know the extent of that knowledge. "She hadn't mentioned anything."

"You talk often?"

"Wouldn't say often. We uh... we had lunch the other day and were gonna get dinner tonight." Negan confessed shaking his head and looking away as flashes of her being hurt flickered through his mind. Rick and Shane spoke for a few minutes about who would have the case and what they could do to help it along. Negan felt exhaustion hit him and decided he needed to head home for a shower and food.

"Do you need a ride?" Rick asked as they both decided to check in at the station before returning.

"Actually yeah. I rode in the ambulance." Negan muttered, limping after the men to find a squad car parked nearby. Frowning at the back door, he caught Shane smirking. "Don't tell me it's your first time in the back of a cop car."

"It's not but it doesn't mean I fucking like it."

"Well don't worry princess, we're taking you home, not jail."

 

* * *

The following afternoon Negan found himself sitting in Kayla's hospital room with shadowed eyes and a haggard face from the lack of sleep. He couldn't stop picturing her bloodied and bruised. When he did end up dozing he was plagued with nightmares that he'd been too late to save her.

Giving up trying to rest, Negan headed to the hospital. Shane was there when he showed up but left soon after to head into the station. There wasn't any news on leads to the case but he mentioned that they were canvassing the complex for any eye witnesses.

Staring at her bandaged face and bruised arms, Negan couldn't help but tear himself up for not only going out that evening but having fallen asleep waiting for her to return. He wished he'd texted her and checked in when her apartment was oddly dark. The idea that he missed an opportunity to stop the violent assault from happening caused a boulder of guilt to rest on his chest.

Scooting his chair closer to the side of the bed, Negan held her tiny hand between his. He traced the bruises decorating her delicate skin with a soft brush of his thumb while listening to the steady beep of her heart monitor.

It was odd touching her after watching her for so long but it also felt right. It felt comforting to feel her warm palm in his.

"Do mind if I check her vitals?" Sara asked from the end of the bed. Negan startled slightly from the nurses voice but nodded and released her hand. He watched as she took her blood pressure and wrote down numbers off the multitude of machines.

"She okay?" He asked, as Sara pushed a few buttons of the IV stand.

"Yeah, she's been stable all night and morning. Her pressures good and her lungs sound clear." Sara replied, tossing her gloves away and washing her hands.

"How have you been Negan?" She asked while watching him with sympathetic eyes. "It's almost a year isn't it?"

Clearing his throat, Negan squirmed a little in his chair before replying. "Yeah. I'm…. fine. It's been…"

"Rough?"

"Yeah, that's about fucking right." He replied with a dry laugh, scrubbing his beard anxiously and confessed, "wasn't expecting to be back here like this."

"I don't think anyone does." Sara spoke softly, looking down at the injured woman. "Is she your girlfriend?"

"No just a friend…"

"But you want more?"

Shrugging, Negan chewed his cheek and felt a lump develop in his throat. He wasn't sure if they would get a chance to be more. Would Kayla even want to pursue anything after such an experience? Negan wasn't too sure what kind of emotional trauma she would have after almost being murdered. He didn't think anyone could experience such violence without being traumatized.

"If you're worried she won't now, don't. Any woman knows if a man stays by her side after such a thing, he's a keeper."

Giving her a polite smile, he picked up her tiny hand again and relaxed in his seat, as Sara exited the room and joined the other nurses.

 

* * *

"How's she doing today?" a voice asked over Negan's shoulder minutes later. Turning around, he let her hand go and looked at Rick in the doorway.

"Stable but she hasn't woken yet."

"Probably better, she won't notice the pain."

"Yeah." Negan replied standing up and motioning to the chair. "You wanna sit. I need some coffee."

"Coffee sounds good actually. Mind if I join you?" Rick drawled, his hands resting on his hips. "Couldn't sleep last night."

"Yeah, me neither." Negan muttered, following Rick out of the hospital room. Walking passed Kayla's nurse, Negan instructed, "We're getting some coffee, can you call me if anything changes?"

"Sure, Negan. No worries."

Dipping his chin, Negan limped into the elevator and leaned against the handrail. He chewed his cheek while they rode silently down to the ground floor. He could see Rick in his peripheral, the man looking as though formulating a question. Negan would rather not talk to the deputy, he never gelled with law enforcement.

"How long were you married?" Rick asked as the elevator stopped to pick up a orderly and a patient in a wheelchair. Glancing at him, Negan wanted to snap at him but opted to keep the peace.

"Ten years."

"I'm sorry for your loss."

"You didn't give her cancer." Negan replied dryly, his arms crossing as the conversation became too personal. He didn't want to talk about his past or his wife. It was over and he'd prefer to never utter another word about it.

"No but I can't imagine losing my wife." Rick drawled, his pity filled eyes making Negan sneer, "Don't bother fucking trying to imagine it. Nothing you imagine can compare to how fucking shitty it is."

Either not noticing or not giving a shit, Rick inquired, "How long's it been since…"

Clenching his teeth, Negan answered despite the irritation. "It'll be a year next month."

The pair strolled to the cafeteria, Rick slowing to Negan's pace much to his displeasure. Standing in line, Negan could still feel the cop scoping him out and couldn't hold it in any longer.

"There a fucking problem or do you just find me that goddamn sexy that you gotta eyefuck me?"

Rick seemed taken aback but explained, "I was just wondering. You said you only knew Kay a short time but yet you're here sitting by her bedside… just seems like you guys must be close."

"We're friends and Kay… she's just…" Negan's words trailed off as he tried to explain his feelings for the woman. He wasn't sure why he was so enthralled with the girl. From the moment he first saw her moving in, he couldn't take his eyes off her. She was gorgeous but it wasn't just that, she had something real about her. Maybe he had used her as a distraction from his downward spiral, maybe she was just another vice to ignore the real issues but Negan didn't think that was exactly it. Kayla was more than just a distraction. She was sweet and funny, beautiful and strong. Kayla didn't put up with his shit and laughed when he was being a vulgar asshole.

"Likeable?"

"She's a good person, sweet and funny as fuck. She's helped me get shit done while my legs been fucked. She wouldn't even take no for an answer."

"How'd it happen?" Rick asked, tipping his chin to the braced leg as they grabbed their coffees.

"Car accident." Negan replied vaguely, knowing full well if the two of them hadn't already looked him up in their databases, they would eventually. However, he wasn't about to tell them he was a drunk fuck up.

Both men sat at one of the cafeteria tables, Negan's leg propped up on an empty chair. They were silent until Negan asked, "Have they found anything out? Any witnesses?"

"No. Just you. I'm hoping when she wakes up she remembers who did it."

"I could only see a shadow, I don't know if he was wearing a mask or anything." Negan grumbled, sipping his too hot coffee despite it scalding his throat.

"We'll see. Let's just hope she has some kind of idea about who did it."

Negan's phone began to ring in his pocket making him jump. Pulling it out quickly he noticed it was a line from the hospital.

"Hello?" He spoke anxiously, already moving to stand up.

"Negan? It's Sara."

"Is she okay? I'll be right up." He grunted, climbing to his feet as Rick followed with nervous eyes.

"She's fine. It's okay. I just wanted to let you know that she's waking up. No rush, she's groggy I just knew you're anxious to speak with her."

"Thanks, we'll be right up." Negan replied, hanging up as they headed towards the elevators. "She's waking up. Groggy but coming to."

"Good." Rick muttered, rubbing his eyes as they climbed into the elevator. "I'll call Shane."

Nodding, Negan leaned against the wall, fighting the urge to repeatedly push the floor button as though it would speed up the damn metal box. Growling every time it stopped to pick someone up, he was close to screaming his head off when they arrived to the appropriate level.

"Jesus fucking Christ. Out of the goddamn way." He snapped as a few people stood in his path out the doors. Moving as quickly as he could, Negan found himself standing at the door too afraid to go inside. Rick almost ran into his back when he stopped so suddenly.

"What?"

"I… you should go first.. you're her brother or whatever."

"Just go inside Negan." Rick drawled, motioning for him to enter first.

Kayla's swollen eyes followed them as they walked inside, the normally vibrant gaze muddled with drugs and bruising.

"Hey Kay." Rick murmured, walking close and leaning over to kiss her forehead. "I'd ask how you're feelin' but I think that's pretty obvious."

"Face hurts." She croaked, her hand raising to touch the bandaged side.

"Don't touch." Rick rasped quietly, his hand gently holding her bruised knuckles. "Ya got some cuts but it's gonna be fine."

Kayla's eyes scanned the room and fell on Negan. "You're here."

Smirking he replied, "Where else would I be, doll?"

"They were taking you." She replied, her voice hoarse and tired. Negan stepped forward and touched her fingertips, the warmth of her skin giving him some peace of mind.

"You stopped 'em." He murmured, his eyes flicking to Rick before continuing. "You uh.. told the cops I was your boyfriend."

Kayla's lips twitched, her medicated self confessing, "That wouldn' be so damn bad." Negan laughed at her slurred declaration and pretended to ignore Rick's presence. He focused on Kayla's uninhibited words.

"No I suppose it wouldn't, doll." He replied sitting down to rest his knee. "You owe me a date. I don't count fucking hospitals stays. Shit-tastic food and god awful lighting. You deserve better."

Kayla chuckled, her lips grimacing immediately after, as her cheek pulled from the movement.

"Shit." Negan cursed, moving forward to touch her jaw gently. "I'm sorry sweetheart. Don't laugh."

"Can't help it. You're fucking funny." She muttered, her eyes fluttering with exhaustion. "Rick, where's Shane?"

"He's on his way. He was helping out at the station." Rick informed, "If you're tired go back to sleep darlin'. Plenty of time to talk."

"I don't know who it was." She mumbled without being asked, blinking a few times as though trying to stay awake. "Went with my boss to dinner to talk about my contract. Came in and…"

Closing her eyes, Negan could tell she was reliving the incident. Squeezing her hand gently he rasped, "You're safe now."

"I got hit from behind.. kept kickin' me. Remember punching him but couldn't… he hand a knife." Kayla shook her head slightly only to wince. "Don't know why."

Negan watched her begin to get upset and leaned forward to speak low and comforting, "It doesn't matter why sweetheart. It ain't your fault."

"Should've stopped 'im." She grunted, shifting in bed with a groan.

"Easy doll. Damn you gotta sit still."

"My ass is fuckin' numb."

Negan smirked and glanced at Rick who wore an amused grin. Heavy footsteps alerted them to Shane's arrival, the man striding in with frantic eyes. His mouth was frowned and brow furrowed as he stepped in front of Rick.

"Kay." He choked, his hand cupping her unmarred cheek. "Jesus Kay. I can't-." Resting his forehead against hers, Shane whispered a few quiet words that caused Kayla to grip his hand.

"I'm okay." She murmured, patting his hand. "I'm okay."

"Ain't okay until I find this shitbag and string him up by his balls." Shane growled, his eyes dipping to catch her gaze. "Who was it?"

"She doesn't know." Rick replied, tapping Shane's shoulder. "She's tired brother. I'll fill you in on what she told us."

"Kay." Shane spoke softly, his fingers brushing hair from her temple. "I'll be here when ya wake up yeah?"

"Okay." Kayla mumbled, her eyes sliding to Negan.

"Be here too." He assured, his lip quirking up. "If I don't you're fucking likely to get up and try t'walk out."

"Shuddup, ass. I'll do what I want." Kayla slurred before her eyes dropped shut. Negan smirked, and kept his eyes away from her brothers. He didn't want to know what they were thinking and he sure as hell didn't want to see their knowing faces. Kayla had him wrapped around her little finger. He was fucking fucked.

 

* * *

A week later and Kayla was home from the hospital and staying with Negan much to his surprise and Shane's displeasure. However, Shane saw the reason for it. With Negan not working at the moment, he was able to help her with anything she needed. At first Negan was worried she'd have flashbacks being at the apartment building but the only time she showed signs of being upset was when they first pulled in. Her eyes strayed to her patio before avoiding that side of the complex completely.

Once settled in, she relaxed and slept like a baby. Shane stayed for an hour after she passed out before heading out to work. Negan couldn't help sighing deeply in relief when the man left. Truthfully, the men had a lot in common but Negan could only take social interaction for so long. Most people irritated him to no end, except for Kayla. She was the only person he'd been with that didn't piss him off or drive him insane. Except she did drive him insane, she twisted up his insides and crushed his heart. He hated it but loved it just the same.

Kayla could crack his chest open with one of her looks. Even more so when she dropped the act she was so desperately clinging to in front of Shane. Negan knew she was strong but watching her care for her distraught brother while trying to hold herself together was heartbreaking.

"Negan." She spoke from the bedroom, her voice still hoarse from the ventilator.

"Yeah, doll." He answered as he entered the room to see her propped against the headboard. She smiled crookedly, her mouth learning to keep her injured side still. The sight chipped away at the already tenuous grasp he had on his emotions. The last time Negan felt so raw inside was a time he preferred to never relive. The only reconciliation was Kayla laying in his bed, looking as though she had no plans on leaving.

Grinning at her, Negan played the role too and joked, "What does my princess need?"

Glaring at him, she huffed, "Well I was gonna ask if we were finally fucking alone but maybe I'll just go back to sl-."

"Hey, hey now there's no fucking need to do something so goddamn drastic doll." Negan interrupted, his hand up and his tongue swiping his lip. He watched her lips twitch and took it as an invitation to sit next to her on the edge of the bed.

Sliding his hand up her hand and over her wrist, Negan traced the delicate bruised joint. "I'm sorry I wasn't there sooner."

"You're the only reason I'm alive." Kayla spoke with such certainty that he had to drop his eyes from her direct ones. "It's true. You saved my life Negan."

Blinking away the burn, Negan finally raised his eyes and spoke hoarsely. "Just returnin' the favor doll."

Kayla seemed confused, her brow furrowing and mouth almost voicing a question until Negan spoke over her.

"How about some breakfast? I can pull off scrambled eggs and toast."

He could tell she wanted to inquire what favor she'd done for him but instead settled for nodding in reply.

"Sounds delicious."

"Good. Coffee?"

"No.. may I have juice?"

Negan smirked, his nose wrinkling in amusement. "Adorable. You want me to cut the crusts off too?"

"Fuck off." She muttered, her teeth biting back a broad smile. Chuckling, Negan stepped forward and kissed her temple. "Be right back sweetheart."


	9. Chapter 9

Negan stared at the bathroom door listening to the water run. Kayla was going to take a bath in Negan's bathtub. She was naked and wet behind a flimsy piece of fucking wood. Her skin would be lathered and slippery, her hands stroking it as she washed. Oh god, how he wanted to _see_ her soaking wet in more ways than just for cleansing purposes.

Negan stared at the goddamn bathroom door listening to the motherfucking water run. Squeezing his eyes shut, he scrubbed his face roughly and growled, "Don't think about it. Don't think about _her."_

It'd been four days since Kayla settled into his bedroom as though she belonged there and Negan was both loving and hating it. Obviously having her there was a dream come true, she was in his apartment. He could reach out and touch her and surprisingly, she didn't seem to hate it. Not that he had put any moves on her; he wasn't that big of a careless fuck. The woman was still healing and Negan could tell that she was self-conscious of the stitches marring her cheek. She was still beautiful though and he adored looking at her but he often caught her turning her face away from his eyes.

Even though having her in his space was a dream come true, it was also edging on a total nightmare. Negan was terrified she was going to find out about his spying. He'd hid his binoculars on a top shelf, far out of reach of the short girl and kept his curtains closed to cover the obvious view into her place.

During conversations he had to keep a tight reign on what information he divulged to knowing about her. Slipping up and exposing his hobby would be devastating, both for Negan and Kayla.

He could tell she trusted him and knew if Kayla found out about the violation, she would drop kick his ass to the curb. There was no way on Earth that a woman would stay within the same zip code, let alone apartment, with a man who was essentially a perverted stalker.

She would never trust Negan again and if there were anything in the world that would unglue him _again_ , it would be Kayla not trusting him.

The water turned off and he heard the sound of her stepping into the tub, the squeak of bare feet on ceramic surface.

"Fuck." He grumbled, digging his forefinger and thumb into his eyes as he pictured her bending over in the tub. "Stop. It."

There was a clatter and Kayla's muttered, "Shit" from behind the door. Negan got up instantly and stood by the door, his forehead brushing the wood surface as he spoke. "Ya okay doll?"

"Uhh.. yeah." She replied, her voice muffled and hesitant.

"Are you sure because you don't sound okay, sweetheart."

"I dropped the shampoo bottle and I can't reach it." Kayla replied softly.

"I'll get it for you but I gotta come inside."

"Um.. okay."

Swallowing thickly, Negan ground his forehead into the door for a moment trying to calm his heart down. Taking in a deep breath, he slowly turned the knob and stepped inside the humid bathroom. The scent of lavender filled the moist air, the calming scent relaxing his nerves ever so slightly.

Kayla turned in the tub allowing her pale back to be seen while her naked chest stay hidden. He took in the sweeping curve of her neck that was highlighted with her hair pulled from her shoulders. Negan's mouth dried at the delicious expanse of silky skin. He wanted to drag his tongue up her spine and sink his teeth into the soft dip of her shoulder.

"Sorry." Kayla's voice jolted him from his graphic ruminations.

"Nothin' to be sorry for sweetheart." He rasped, pulling his gaze from the water beading up on her shoulder blades to look for the bottle of shampoo. Finding it on the floor near the toilet, Negan extracted it and set it on the ledge of the tub.

"You need anythin' else?" he asked, his eyes staying on the floor instead of looking down at her naked body. It was painful not to look, his teeth set on edge in frustration at the ache she caused in his pants.

"I might need help rinsing my hair. The doctor said I can't get my face too wet and it hurts to lift my arm."

Negan bit his cheek and tried to suppress the giant hard-on that was pushing on his zipper from the moment he heard water running in the fucking bathroom.

"Sure uh… one second." Negan murmured, leaving the room for a moment. Using the time to browbeat his dick into submission with threats of castration, Negan grabbed a plastic cup from the kitchen.

Returning to the bathroom, he showed her what he grabbed and rasped, "This'll help."

"You're smart." She commented, a tiny smile curling her lips, the action pulling on her stitches.

Negan swallowed hard at the compliment as he realized what he'd just done. He'd gotten the damn cup without a second thought. He hadn't even put two and two together. Washing a woman's hair wasn't a new experience for Negan. His wife was sick for quite awhile and he may have been a cheating shit of a husband but he'd helped when he was home. Near the end she was too weak to even feed herself a couple times a day, let alone wash herself.

"Just tip your head back, I won't get your face wet." Negan explained gravelly, avoiding the sliver of breast showing when she moved her arm. The painful looking bruising on her ribs sobered him up, the obvious tread mark of a boot heel still painted across her delicate skin. He scowled at the sight and forced himself to focus on the task.

Kayla looked at the ceiling, allowing Negan to pour water through her hair, soaking it through to help the shampoo suds up. He then massaged the pleasantly mild scented shampoo into her thick locks. A fresh floral aroma lathered her scalp and tresses as he massaged and worked it gently. A soft moaned echoed against the tile walls as he rubbed the base of her neck in soothing circles. Negan hadn't even realized he was going through the old motions of pampering a woman until her seductive sounds kicked him in the guts.

"Sorry." He muttered, pulling his hands away to get the cup.

"Don't stop." Kayla murmured, peeking her large hazelnut eyes over her bare shoulder. "It feels really good. My headache's going away."

"Why didn't you tell me you were hurting? I can get you meds."

"I don't want them. I hate the way they make me feel. I think I have the headache from taking them."

"You can't stay in pain though doll." The words sounded eerily familiar. Negan was having a hard time deciphering who was in front of him. He wasn't hallucinating, he knew it was Kayla but the conversations were becoming painfully similar to ones with his dead wife.

"I'm okay. I'll tell you if it gets bad."

"Promise."

"I promise." She replied with a smile in her tone. Negan continued to massage her neck and shoulders, the soap making his fingers slid smoothly over her skin.

"Feelin' better?"

"Very. Thank you Negan."

"You're very fucking welcome dollface." He rasped, dipping the cup in the water to rinse her hair. When her body stiffened up, he paused his movements, Negan thinking he went too far by putting his hand in the bath water.

"Sorry." He mumbled, yanking his hand from the water as though it were scalding. Kayla shook her head and looked over her shoulder. "You're fine, it's just… don't call me that."

It took a moment for him to remember what he called her but the realization had him frowning. "I meant it as a compliment."

"It's inaccurate." She muttered, her head still tilted back as he rinsed it clean.

"You're still a doll to me. Those scars don't change that."

Kayla bit her lip and peeked over her pale shoulder at Negan, her eyes glassy. "You don't have to do all this you know. We hadn't even gone out yet, you're not obligated to stay by my side."

"That is _definitely_ not what this is sweetheart." Negan drawled, picking up the conditioner bottle and squeezing a generous amount in his palm. "I'm doin' this because I want too."

"Why?"

"Because I like you." He replied plainly, shrugging his shoulders when she looked at him for further explanation. "It's true. I like you and I don't know, I… feel… connected to you."

Kayla stared at him a moment and spoke softly, "My nurse told me about your wife."

Negan clenched his teeth and cursed the nosy little blonde. The entire hospital stay he could feel her watching their interactions with a knowing smile. The woman constantly telling him to just tell Kayla how he felt.

"She shouldn't have done that." He replied gruffly, his hands massaging the product into her thick hair.

"Is that why you're doing this?" Kayla asked, her eyes flicking over his face nervously before turning back to the wall. "Am I just… a replacement?"

"Fuck no!" Negan snapped, his voice turning harsh. "First fucking off, there is no goddamn replacing _my wife."_

Kayla turned slightly, her eyes wide and mouth parted. "I'm so-"

"No." he growled, his head cocking to the side as he glared at the opposite wall to get control of his temper. Letting out a slow, deep breath through clenched teeth he continued. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell."

"No I.. I shouldn't have said that or brought it up. I'm sorry Negan."

"Don't be, I should've told you about her a long time ago, I just… I just don't like talking about it. It's fucking depressing and it'll change nothing."

"It won't change it but it might make you feel better."

Shaking his head, Negan picked up the cup and began rinsing the conditioner from her hair. They were quiet for a long while until he began speaking without any control.

"She just wasn't feeling like herself you know. Kept have these stomachaches and throwing up. I joked that she was knocked up but the test said negative."

Negan had never spoken about how everything spiraled downward before Lucille's death. Sherry of course knew because she had been around but no one knew what it was really like. No one knew how everything unraveled around them in what felt like moments.

"She went to the doctor thinking he'd say she needed to cut something out of her diet but instead that fucker told her she was dying. Said it was too far gone. It'd moved into her lymph nodes, bones and pretty much every goddamn square inch of her. It was only a couple weeks before everything inside her started shutting down."

Kayla turned slightly, most of her bare chest covered with the tub. She bit her lip and listened as he continued to spew out everything that had happened, his arms resting limply on the tub edge.

"It would just get worse and worse and she kept fighting it but it was never enough. The last few months, she was in the hospital. Couldn't eat on her own, couldn't walk. Fuck she could barely talk and the last two weeks she wasn't even awake. They kept those fucking tubes down her throat and in her veins. I…" Shaking his head, Negan felt the burning tears he'd kept at bay, for the most part, fill his eyes without control.

Kayla's hands slid into his and gripped it tightly as he croaked, "We talked about it you know.. before she stopped being able to talk. She didn't want to hang on forever. I had to… I had to decide when it was too much. I couldn't let her wither there anymore, she wasn't… she wasn't _Lucille_ anymore. She was this... this husk."

Kayla's hand was suddenly cupping his cheek, her thumb brushing away moisture from below his eye. Negan felt like a giant pussy but couldn't stop from leaning into her touch.

"I'm sorry." She rasped, her throat constricting with emotions. "I'm sorry you went through that, that you had to decide shit like that."

"Yeah me too." He replied, wiping his face roughly. "You're not a replacement. I don't want a replacement."

"I'm sorry I insinuated that she was replaceable."

"Don't be it's… I don't blame you for thinking that." He offered, his head turning away from her as he realized he could see almost all of her beautiful breasts. "You uh… you might wanna turn back around doll. I can only control my eyes so much."

Kayla turned back around too quickly, her breath hitching as the move twisted her broken ribs.

"Shit, you okay?"

"Just my ribs." She offered, her hands rinsing off the suds from her arms.

"You wanna get out or soak some?"

"I think I'm good to get out."

"You need helping standing up?"

"Probably, my side's aching." She commented, her hand cupping her bruised ribs. Negan cleared his throat and grabbed a large towel. "I'll close my eyes." He offered, his gaze falling to the floor as he helped her stand up. His hands cupped her elbows and lifted her easily, her weight down from being bed ridden. Negan focused on her little toes, the nails painted purple. He smiled at the sight and couldn't help but comment. "You've got fucking adorable toes."

Snorting, Kayla shuffled out of the tub and let him wrap the fluffy towel around her body. Once she was covered up, Negan brought his eyes from the floor to her face.

"Thank you." she replied, a soft smile curling her lips. When his gaze trailed over the healing scars on her cheek, he could see her lips falter. The curve turning downwards as she turned the cheek away from him.

"Don't hide from me darlin'." He rasped earnestly, his fingers gripping her chin gently. "Never hide from me."

Peering up at him, Kayla seemed to take in the words and let them settle her nerves. Giving him a little nod, she asked, "Can we order in a pizza?"

"Of course sweetheart." He replied, helping her towards the bedroom to get dressed. "Double cheese, double peppers?"

"Yeah.. wait how do you know that's what I like?" she asked causing his heart to stop and breath to hitch. Negan clenched his jaw and tried to keep himself from having a stroke.

"Must've told me," he offered with a shrug, "it's what I order too."

"Oh." She replied, nodding a bit in agreement. "Yeah you're right. I probably told you. Sorry. I think these meds make me stupid."

Negan swallowed the lump in his throat and rasped, "You're not stupid. Just a little loopy. It's to be expected while on those fuckers."

The words tasted like ash in his mouth, the idea that he was lying to her, turning his stomach fiercely. He wanted to confess. He wanted to explain how she saved him from drinking himself to death. Kayla wasn't a replacement for his wife but she had become a replacement for his drinking problem. No matter how wrong it was for him to spy on her, it not only saved him from cirrhosis of the liver but if he wanted to, he could try to convince himself that it saved her life too. If he hadn't been so obsessed with her, she may have died on her bedroom floor rather than ending up sitting in his place wearing pajamas.

 

* * *

"There is no way on this fucking planet you can convince me that this isn't the most un-fucking-realistic show ever created." Negan huffed, his arms crossed as they marathoned some shitty romantic comedy television show. "I mean look at those two chucklefucks who are supposed to be straight. Those two peter puffers smoke pole. You know it, I know and their goddamn twink boyfriends know it."

Kayla laughed loudly, her eyes playful. "It's a fucking TV show Negan. They're actors."

"Yeah, well they're shit actors if they think they're convincing anyone that they actual want to bang that hottie. They're probably more interested in the fucking Jimmy Choo heels she's wearing, than the prize under her skirt."

Kayla giggled and elbowed him in the ribs, teasing him with a crooked smile. "Who's the metrosexual who knows what kind of shoes she's wearing, huh?"

Negan scowled at her words, his neck heating up. "Shut up."

Her laugh made his shoulders relax, his lips pulling into a smile as he rolled his eyes at her. "Smartass." He huffed, his eyes glaring but mouth smirking.

Slumping into the sofa next to her, Negan couldn't help but glance at her every few seconds. She was adorable as she watched the terrible television show. He was happy she was staying with him as tense as it made him at times. It was domestic and Negan was coming to realize he had missed it. The presence of a woman, it brought something satisfying to his life.

"Shane texted me earlier." Kayla spoke jolting Negan out of his stalker-ish stare.

"Oh yeah? Any news?"

"They questioned Kyle but he had some alibi with his friend Craig." Kayla replied, while unconsciously touching the stiff stitches on her jaw line. "I just wish…" Shaking her head she trailed off before prodded to continue by Negan's raised eyebrow.

"I just wish I had seen who it was. That I could remember something you know. I just feel so stupid for not being able to give the cops something to work on. I mean, a white male with a deep voice? That's all I can give them?"

"Don't be so damn hard on yourself doll. You were kinda busy trying to keep from dying to notice anything else. I don't fucking blame you and neither do the cops. Especially Shane."

"Still."

"Nope. You can't convince me you should've done more. You did what was most important, surviving. Everything else can get sorted out but that there.. that's what is important."

Kayla rested her temple against Negan's shoulder causing his eyes to fall shut in pleasure. He wanted to wrap her up in his arms or pull her onto his lap. Negan could picture burying his large hands in her hair and sucking her lips swollen. Fuck he wanted her more than he wanted anything else in his life and that thought alone scared the shit out of him.

Turning his head slightly, he pressed his nose into her hair and inhaled a deep breath before murmuring, "You smell good."

Her light laugh had him blushing like a teenage pudpuller but when she tilted her head up to make eye contact his nerves dropped away. She was looking at him with bright eyes, her little pink lips pulled into a smirk.

Lifting his hand to her face he brushed his thumb across her unmarred jaw and rasped, "I'm glad you're here."

"Me too." She breathed the words more than spoke them, her eyes flitting over his face and repeatedly landing on his lips. Negan felt his heart kick up a speed, the thump becoming almost distracting as she peered up at him. He wanted to kiss her, just scoop her up and ravage her sweet little mouth but he held back. Negan wasn't one to take advantage of a woman and with her having been through some pretty traumatic bullshit, he didn't want to over step. That was until she opened her mouth and spoke.

"Are you ever going to kiss me?"

Keeping what little grasp he had controlling his baser urges, Negan replied, "Didn't want to over step any boundaries."

"You aren't."

"You don't owe me anything for staying here." He added, his own eyes pulled to the soft looking lips curled on her sweet face.

"I know." She answered, her bottom lip pulled into her mouth in a more than delicious way. Negan was actually jealous of her being able to suck and bite on the damn thing whenever she wanted.

"I just don't want you to feel like you have to."

"Negan if you don't kiss me soon, I'll punch you in your stupid mouth."

Smiling at her, Negan cupped her cheek and tilted her face upwards. "Well there's no need to get violent darlin'."

Lowering his mouth to hers, he moved carefully to keep from hurting her healing face. Kayla whoever was having none of it, her own hands raking into his hair and pulling him firmly against her mouth. The moan he expelled between her lips was joined by her own. Their tongues mingled and teeth clacked as the kiss quickly turned desperate. After a few minutes of pure desire poured out between each other, Negan pulled back and gazed at her in awe. He'd thought about kissing her and touching her in that way for months and now there she was begging him for it. As much as he wanted to tear off her clothes and have his way with her, his mind flashed back to the bruises still decorating her poor body. He wouldn't take advantage of her in that way, even if it killed him to stop them where they were.

"We should slow down doll." He rasped hoarsely, his voice deeper and rougher than before.

"Why?" she asked, her fingers curling in his shirt. "I want you."

"Fuck." He groaned, his eyes fluttering shut as she nuzzled into his neck and jaw. "You have. _No idea._ How fucking bad I wanna tear off you clothes sweetheart but I can't do it. Not yet anyways."

"Why?" she asked, her voice turning colder.

"Baby I saw how bruised you still are. I can't do it." Negan explained, his fingers combing hair behind her ear. Kayla's face dropped however and she pulled away from him, the loss of her hitting him hard in the guts.

"If you think I'm disgusting just say it, Negan. Don't fucking play it off as some gentleman sacrifice." She snapped, her arms crossing tightly around her torso. Negan didn't miss the grimace she made at the movement.

"It's not fucking that at all doll. You have no fucking clue how bad I wanna yank off your clothes and bend you over this couch but I mean, you just flinched at crossing your arms. I can't do what I wanna do to you when you're still healing."

Kayla chewed her lips and avoided his eyes while asking, "I know I'm not…"

"What darlin'?"

"I know I'm all scarred up now… I mean.. I get if you're not attracted to me anymore."

Negan scoffed at the statement and gave her a bemused expression. "I don't give a fuck about scars sweetheart. You're still fucking beautiful to me. If you find me looking at them it's me checking to see how they're healing, not because the gross me out. More than anything when I look at them I think about how bad I wanna string that fucker up by his balls and show him what true fucking pain is."

Kayla nodded, her eyes dropping to her lap where she wrung her fingers together. "So do you… do you still wanna go on a date with me?"

"Hell fucking yeah I do. You can't get out of it that easy doll." Negan replied with a flashy grin, his dimples deep and nose crinkled. "It'll take more than a few stitches to keep me from wanting you."

When her lips quirked to the side, Negan smiled easier, his shoulders dropping as she seemed to get passed her upset. Leaning forward he kissed her again and rasped, "We should get you in bed."

"I feel bad that you're sleeping on a couch, while I have the huge bed to myself."

"I'm just fine doll. I've slept on this fucking thing before, it was easier when I was laid up in the chair."

"Still feel bad."

Negan paused a moment and spoke hesitantly. "I mean.. I could sleep in there with you. On top of the covers and it's a big bed. You probably won't even know I'm there."

Kayla smiled softly and replied, "I think that'd be kinda nice."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah and I promise not to invade your side of the bed."

Snorting, Negan cocked his head to the side and drawled, "I don't know if I believe you. You kinda seem like the type to be a bed hog."

"Rude." She quipped, slowly climbing to her feet with Negan's help.

"Yeah, get used to it. I'm not sure if you noticed but I'm kind of an asshole."

Kayla scoffed as they entered the bedroom. "You're the nicest asshole I ever met then because you've done nothing but be here for me."

Negan felt his neck heat at her comment and muttered, "Just haven't seen the real me doll. I'm not a good person, I've done a lot of terrible shit."

"Yeah well, people make mistakes." She replied, climbing into bed with a groan. "And at least you aren't lying to me about it. You're telling me upfront that you're not perfect."

Negan swallowed thickly at the statement because he _was_ lying to her. Kayla had no idea who he really was. He was a lying, cheating asshole who spent his time jacking off while spying on her like some deviant sex addict. He wasn't a good person, he may do good things occasionally but he felt like he was total a shithead the rest of the time. Clearing his throat roughly, Negan murmured, "I'm gonna shower first. I'll just be a few. You need anything before I go?"

"I'm good. Thank you Negan."

"Anytime darlin'."


	10. Chapter 10

There were cops crawling all over the apartment complex, their radios squawking and buzzing in the courtyard. Negan and Kayla watched from the patio as a gurney carrying a black body bag was rolled away and loaded in the coroner van.

The cat lady was found when the super finally answered the complaints about the smell. From what Negan gleaned from the nosy old woman across the way was, Olivia had been dead for quite awhile, her cats taking advantage of the free meal.

"Do you think..." Kayla began, her eyes jumping to his. "Could it be the same guy?"

Negan chewed his lip and leaned against the rail. "I don't know but I suppose we gotta talk to them about it."

"I gonna text Shane, he probably knows already but just in case."

"Alright doll. Hey don't worry okay? You're safe here."

Nodding, she entered the apartment and left him to think on the patio. He wasn't sure if the same man who attacked Kayla, was the same person who killed the cat lady, but his gut was telling him no.

Trailing his eyes over to the weirdo on the first floor, he found him standing in his kitchen drinking from a bottle of liquor. Narrowing his eyes, he pondered if he'd seen anything suspicious but realized since Kayla had come to stay, he hadn't been watching much of anything outside of the apartment.

"He's on his way."

"He know about it yet?"

"Yeah, he was tying up something but was coming anyways."

Dipping his chin, Negan looked her over and noticed she was nervously chewing on her thumb. "Hey, it'll be alright."

"I just... if I'd been able to tell them more about him, maybe she wouldn't be dead."

"No." Negan rasped, shaking his head and approaching her swiftly. Holding her by the shoulders, he dipped his head to catch her guilt filled eyes. "This isn't your fault. We don't even know if it's the same guy and even if it was, it still wouldn't matter."

"If you say so." She muttered, her hands covering his making his skin tingle. They'd been touching each other frequently, nothing sexual but definitely more than friendly. Often times she'd lean her head against his shoulder while watching television and he found himself touching her lower back or arm in passing.

"I do and I'm always right." He rasped, his lip twitching as she rolled her eyes.

"Jackass." She muttered, her smirking lips making him grin.

"Takes one to know one, sweetcheeks." He drawled before motioning inside. "Now come on, let's wait inside for Shane, alright?"

"Fine."

 

* * *

"She was strangled." Shane informed them after meeting with the detectives across the courtyard. "Their gonna come talk to you, Kay. I'll stay with."

"Okay." Kayla replied, her fingers playing with the loose thread on her sweater. Negan couldn't help but place his large hand over hers and rasp, "it'll be fine darlin'."

"Yeah, I just… I feel bad I have nothing to give them."

"You tell them everything you remember. That's all you can do." Shane offered, his eyes narrowing as Negan continued to hold her hand. Staring back at her brother, Negan cocked an eyebrow silently urging him to argue about it.

"I know." Kayla huffed, rest her head against Negan's shoulder much to his surprise. He wasn't sure if she would want her brother to know they were becoming closer, but apparently she had no qualms about it. Biting his lip, Negan held back the cheshire grin threatening to break out as Shane eyeballed them carefully.

"So Kay, now that you're feelin' better, do you wanna come stay at my place?" Shane asked, his dark eyes flicking over the two sitting rather cozily next to each other. "With this body showin' up and all, might be safer for you there."

"She's safe with me."

"You're starting work next week right? You won't be here all the time."

"Neither will you." Negan retorted, the idea of Kayla no longer being in his place causing a vicious pain to ricochet around his ribs cage.

"But my place hasn't been the scene for one brutal assault, possible attempted murder _and_ an actual murder."

Negan opened his mouth to argue when Kayla placed a hand on his thigh and replied for him. "I'm fine where I am, Shane."

"Kay-."

"Shane." She growled, her dark eyes narrowing. "We don't even know if these things are related."

Shane scoffed, throwing his hand up in the air. "Ain't like we live in some fuckin' big city Kay. The likelihood is the same fuck who hurt you, tried to kill you, is the same sick son of a bitch who strangled that poor woman. Guy is just casing the joint lookin' for fresh meat and I don't think ya should stick around to find out if he wants seconds with you."

Negan understood her brother completely, for safety reasons, Kayla was probably better off going to her brother's place but Negan was selfish. He wanted her and he wanted her in his place.

"Look when Negan goes to work, maybe I'll come hangout at your place, if I feel nervous about being here alone." Kayla offered, her mouth downturned at the idea. "I just… I don't want what happened to change my life."

"Kayla." Shane sighed, leaning forward on his elbow. "You can't stop it from changing your life. It already has."

Negan frowned at the statement but knew it to be true. One couldn't go through what Kayla had and not be changed.

"Just because it has, doesn't mean I need to run away." She grumbled.

"I'm not saying you should run away."

"Just hide?"

"No." Shane growled, rubbing his shaved head and neck. "Look I just want you safe, sis. I can't fuckin'-." Shaking his head he looked away from them, his eyes narrowed and jaw clenched. "I can't let anything else happen to you, Kay."

Kayla sat on the edge of the sofa cushion and reached out for Shane's hand. "You didn't let anything happen to me. Whoever did this, did it. Not you."

"But if I let you stay here and something happens?"

"Shane. It's my life and you're not _letting_ me do anything because I make my own decisions. I'm not a kid anymore that you need to parent."

Sighing, Shane rolled his eyes and gave her a wry grin. "When'd you grow up?"

"Like ten years ago dummy." She muttered. "Look how about we all do dinner soon okay? I'll even cook."

"Yeah?" Shane asked with a hopeful look in his eyes. "Your spaghetti and meatballs?"

"Of course." She replied with a smirk.

"Aright, aright. I'll uh… _let_ you stay if you make my dinner."

"Fuck off." She huffed, smacking his shoulder as he laughed gruffly. A knock on the door had Negan sauntering over to it while Kayla and Shane stayed seated. Peering through the peephole, Negan found two men in dress shirts, both with police badges hanging from the necks and guns on their hips. 'Fucking pigs.' He thought angrily.

 

* * *

"I came home after dinner with my boss." She started, her eyes focusing on the floor while wringing the hem of her sweater sleeve. "It was around two I think."

"That's a pretty late dinner date with your _boss_." The detective commented, his eyebrows raised. "What is it, you do?"

Negan narrowed his eyes as he looked the other man over. He didn't like his tone or the innuendo of his words.

"Graphic design. I'm kind of nocturnal. He is too. We were friends before I started working with him, so we went over my contract and ate, then had a few drinks to catch up."

"But you only have a working relationship now?"

"Yes." Kayla replied but her brow was furrowed with the line of questioning.

"Could he have been expecting more from your relationship than you were?"

Kayla snorted and shook her head, "Ummm no. I don't have the right equipment Lyle would be looking for, plus he's been with his husband for like ten years."

Negan smirked as the cop seemed to flounder for a moment.

"Alright. We had to ask, you understand."

"Fucking hell Tom, do you think I haven't asked her all this shit?" Shane scoffed, throwing a hand up. "Just let her tell the goddamn story."

"Officer Walsh, if you won't keep quiet, you'll have to leave."

"Yes sir _Detective_ Bradley, I see you wore your big boy pants today." Shane huffed, his narrowed eyes flicking over the young detective.

The room was awkwardly quiet until Kayla cleared her throat and began again. "When I entered my apartment… something felt off. I couldn't pinpoint it but I don't know, I just blew it off. I locked up and got a glass of water and was about to head into my bedroom when I realized all my curtains were closed."

Kayla's head cocked to the side slightly as she seemed to remember the dreaded moment. Her eyes blinked slowly and her throat seemed to struggle with a knot as she swallowed thickly.

"I knew someone was in my place but it was too late." She murmured, her eyes rising to the detectives. "He came from behind me, hit me with something. I dropped my glass and it broke all over the tile floor. I remember trying to keep from falling in it."

Chewing her lips, she nervously touched her cheek before realizing it and pulling her hand away.

"I uh.. blacked out for a bit and woke up to him dragging me into the living room. We struggled, me kicking at him, as he stomped on me. Then he… he straddled me."

Negan clenched his teeth at the descriptions of the event but it was the fragile tone of Kayla's voice that was breaking him.

Reaching out he took the hand that was wringing her sweater into a ball and wove his fingers through hers. Looking up at him with blurry eyes, she released a slow breath through quivering lips and murmured, "thank you."

"Take your time." Negan rasped, squeezing her hand gently.

"We fought, he was punching me. Ch-choking me. He had a knife and he kept pressing it in my face and threatening me."

"Not to interrupt but did he speak?"

"He did a little. Mostly growling out words. He kept calling me a bitch. Saying I deserved it. He hit me with the butt of the knife, the handle part. I started to pass out and then… he uh.." Kayla's throat seemed to close up, causing Shane to grab her a glass of water. After sipping it, she continued with a brittle edge to her voice. "He started at my temple… c-cutting down and… around. He said he was just taking what was taken from him. I don't… I don't know what he meant."

"After he cut you, what happened?"

"He got up and was going through a bag on the floor."

"Your bag or his?"

"His. I'd never seen it."

"Continue."

"I got up, I don't know how. I just got up and ran to the sliding glass door and yanked the curtains away. He grabbed me and threw me. I think I hit my head because next thing I remember was Negan helping me."

Both detectives glanced at each other, which had Negan's hackles up. He could see the suspicion brewing, a new target to aim for, now that her homosexual boss was taken off list.

'Fucking lazy pigs.' He growled inwardly, his thumb brushing across the back of Kayla's hand for both her and his own comfort. Negan had a feeling a lot of his dirty laundry was going to be exposed.

"And you two are….?"

Negan snorted, he kissed the back of her hand. "Cousins."

Kayla barked out a laugh, her other hand slapping over her mouth while snickering behind her fingers. Grinning widely at the cops staring back with little to no amusement, he clarified, "we were friends, now we're more."

"And you're more now, after the attack?"

"Before." Kayla replied her eyes narrowing as she caught on to what they were implying. "We were going out before."

"Shane didn't know you were dating, he specifically didn't know who Negan was."

"He's my brother not my keeper and what exactly is going on here? Am I being interrogated? Is Negan being accused because what I thought was happening was actual detective work to find the fucker who tried to murder me and the guy who murdered that poor lady. Because if so, that's not Negan. He wasn't the man who attacked me. I know this with absolute one hundred percent surety."

"How?"

"First off, he's not a violent, psychopath. He would never hurt me and the other reason is he's recovering from a severe leg injury. He's had countless surgeries and is still gaining strength back. The guy who attacked me was able bodied. We fought, he was kicking me full force with both feet. It wasn't Negan. He couldn't do it."

Squeezing her hand probably too tightly, he tried to smile with gratitude but the reason she knew it wasn't him, was not satisfying. The visuals of a large man kicking Kayla without a care that he was brutalizing such a sweet girl, was killing him.

"Is there anyone else who might have targeted you?"

"My ex."

"He has an alibi."

"Yeah, his best friend from grade school. The guy who took the fall when Kyle's dad found pot in his backpack. They're practically fucking blood brothers."

"You're saying he's lying for him."

"Jesus fucking Christ. Of course that's what she saying." Negan snapped, his irritation with the idiots getting the better of him. "Listen officers Larry and Moe, I'm not sure what clown college detective school you went to and maybe I'm just some dumb fuck from fucking Fucksville but maybe you should try and find out if he was in the area. Don't they triangulate shit with phones or fucking fitbits or some shit?"

"That requires warrants and warrants require evidence. All we have is her word against his and his is backed up by his friend."

"And his friend is full of horse shit." Shane growled, "that slimy little fuck is a liar. Always was."

"Look, what we are doin' here today is trying to find out if these cases are related."

"Well I've told you everything. I'd like you to go now."

"Ma'am-."

"You heard her." Negan interrupted, his gravelly voice leaving no room for argument. "The door's behind you, don't let it hit your fat ass on the way out."

Both men looked beyond irritated at Negan's dismissal, but followed Shane to the door. Kayla squeezed Negan's hand and whispered, "thank you."

"Thank you doll. I wasn't even thinking about my knee. Was actually kinda expecting them to drag me outta here."

"It wasn't just the knee, I know you wouldn't hurt me."

Negan swallowed against the tree root growing in his throat. He _was_ hurting her, he was a lying sack of shit. Guilt from all the countless times he'd tugged his trouser snake, while watching her cute titties shake and her perky ass bounce around, felt like an anvil on his chest. He had to tell her. Negan knew it deep in his blackened, gnarled heart. She deserved to know that he didn't deserve her.

 

* * *

Negan was on his way home after hitting the grocery store and pharmacy. Kayla stayed at the apartment, the woman still self conscious about her scars. She hadn't left the place except for doctor's visits and Negan was slightly worried her already reclusive habits were getting worse. Negan was starting at Tdogs the following week and he was unsure if he felt comfortable leaving her alone. Shane had brought it up days before and now the thought had burrowed into Negan's brain like a botfly. He would run through possible situations that could occur, the worst being the sick fuck was just waiting to find her alone.

Opening the apartment door, Negan carried in the few bags of groceries and set them on the counter. Listening carefully, he heard the shower running and felt his dick twitch. They'd kissed more and he'd felt her up, but every time he thought it would go farther, he would remember he didn't deserve her. The lie was sitting in between them and he couldn't seem to get passed it. He'd decided to tell her but he'd been too gutless to actually do it.

The water turned off and Negan's head snapped up to look at the bathroom door. He wanted to see her dripping wet in a towel. Fuck he wanted to see her dripping wet, period. Spread open and drenched for him. Negan glanced down at the giant hardon pressing into his jeans and adjusted it into a more comfortable position.

"Calm down big guy." He grumbled, placing the eggs in the fridge.

The bathroom door opened, releasing a billow of steam, as Kayla came out wrapped up in a towel. She smiled at him and asked, "Did you get everything?"

"Everything on your list, princess."

Rolling her eyes, she headed into the bedroom to get dressed and returned quickly to look at the things he brought home. Kayla wore tight little leggings with an over sized band tshirt, her wet hair leaving drip marks along her shoulders. He could make out the sexy curve of her breasts below the wore cotton and the delicious lines of her legs wrapped in yoga pants. Kayla was sexy as fuck and it was hard to control himself as she sauntered around so casually, with bare feet and tossled hair.

She picked up the box of cookies and cocked an eyebrow. "I don't think these were on the list."

"They were on my fat kid list. Besides I know you like them too."

"Oh yeah, how do you know that?" She scoffed, her eyes narrowing slightly. Negan swallowed thickly as he realized he'd slipped yet again. 'Why the fuck is it always food giving me away?' He muttered silently to himself. 'Gonna be outed by a box of samoas.'

"Everybody likes cookies." He replied with a shrug.

"But not these specific cookies?"

"I just got what I like doll. I can't help having good tastes."

Kayla nodded but seemed unconvinced by the coincidence. It wasn't the first time they'd mysteriously had some favorite in common. "Well, what else did you get?"

"Toilet bowl cleaner. Is that a favorite of yours too?" He teased, his lips quirking to the side as she rolled her eyes.

"Smartass."

"I got a few movies to watch too." He added as she helped put food away. "Thought we could do a movie night."

"Sure." She responded with a smile. "Sounds fun."

"I'll make popcorn, if you set everything up." Negan offered, tearing open a box of microwave popping corn.

"Sure." She spoke with a cute smile, stepping into his chest and bouncing up to kiss him on the lips. Negan reached forward to slid his hands along her waist, wrapping his arms around her tightly and pinning her to his chest. Deepening the kiss, Negan pressed her against the refrigerator door. Losing what little control he had over his mouth and hands while in Kayla's presence, he devoured every inch of her soft lips and tongue. She tasted like the coffee she'd brewed, the smoky taste making Negan moan deeply. His large palms stroked her waist and ribs, his thumbs dragging her shirt up along the way. Kayla's skin was soft and warm, the silky texture below the rough heel of his palm feeling foreign. He wanted to pull every thread of clothing off her and just touch her.

"Fuck, sweetheart. The _things_ you do to me." He murmured against her cheek, brushing his nose along her temple. He inhaled the fresh scent of her shampoo, the damp hair cool against his lips. Fuck, he adored her more than anything.

Pulling back, he forced himself to put distance between bodies. Negan couldn't keep doing what he was doing. He was digging his hole deeper and deeper every day. The longer he withheld the truth, the guiltier he was. Kayla would never forgive him if she found out on her own.

"Go set up. I'll get snacks and beer."

"I can't with my pills."

"You haven't been taking your pills."

"How did you know?"

"I counted them. I went to see if you needed a refill and noticed it was nowhere near empty. Checked the next couple days and it never changed."

"I hate them."

"I know. It's why I picked up some ibuprofen." Negan replied with a soft grin.

Kayla rolled her eyes and tugged on his shirt, "you always pull away."

Sighing a bit at her observation, Negan bit his tongue between his teeth in thought. "Look I… I'm not a great guy. I'm a real fucking prick. I know you see me a certain way, you haven't seen the real shit show I am on a regular basis. Eventually you're gonna figure it out."

"Negan-."

"Just… I want you to know that I care deeply about you." He rasped, his hand brushing across her healing cheek. Taking care to avoid her stitches, he traced the outside perimeter of the newly forming scar tissue. "I'll _always_ care deeply for you."

Kayla's eyes were wide, her cheeks flushed as she peered up at him. Negan combed the hair from her forehead and dipped his head to press a kiss to her temple.

"Go pick which movie you want. I'll get the food."

"Negan."

"Go on doll, I'll be right there."

He was having a panic attack. Negan had only felt such a state of fear when he found out about Lucille's sickness. Taking in a slow breath, he threw the bag into the microwave and turned it on. He grabbed a few beers, popping one open instantly to calm his nerves. What he wanted was the bottle of bourbon on the top shelf out of Kayla's eyes sight. He would love to crack the plastic top off it and drink until the knot of fear dissolved in his chest.

Carrying everything into the living room he started to speak only to have the words die on his tongue, "so what did you decide-."

Kayla stood there with a blanket in one hand and his binoculars in the other, the closet door hanging open. Her eyes were focused on the spotting scopes in her hands until he stepped forward. Slowly pulling her gaze from her hand, Kayla's hazelnut eyes landed on his stricken face.

"I was getting a blanket, they fell out." She muttered, her voice still hoarse. "Why do you have binoculars?"

Clearing his throat roughly, he couldn't utter a word, his throat having grown closed. Holding them up higher, Kayla asked with more concern. "Why Negan?"

"I uh…"

Kayla stared at him for a long moment before her head swiveled to the large glass window stretching across the living room. The view outside showing her own apartment, its curtains open revealing an empty kitchen.

Negan's heart was clashing against his ribs, dread filling his chest cavity like the bow of a sinking ship. He wanted to deny it but his mouth dried up and throat shriveled.

"That's how you knew that night. How you know things about me." Kayla murmured, her knowing gaze returning to his paling face. "You watch me."

"Kay. I..." Negan started, swallowing thickly. "I can explain."

Stepping forward she growled, "How long? Huh? How much have you seen?"

Raising a pacifying hand, Negan tried to calm her as she began to grab her purse and pull on shoes. "Kayla wait. Please let me explain."

"No." She snapped, her angry eyes drilling into him with vicious precision. Negan could feel the shame blackening his soul as the woman he had fallen for, looked at him with crushing betrayal.

"It was all a lie. I'm so fucking stupid." Her voice was resigned as she shook her head and looked away. It was as though the sight of him repulsed her. "Don't contact me."

Negan reached for her as she stormed passed but was surprised as a hand slapped him across the face, the stinging burn lancing across his cheek. Kayla wrenched her arm away and growled, "don't touch me."

"Please. Kayla."

"Fuck you Negan." She snapped, before slamming his front door behind her. The loud sound seemed to echo in his head, the finality of her exit making his knees buckle. Sitting heavily on a bar stool, Negan ground his fingers into his eye sockets.

"Fuck." He grunted, his eyes straying to the parking lot to see her climbing into her car. Slowly the center of his world drove off with no hope of return, the realization crushing him like a boot heel upon a cockroach.

"You dumb fuck." He cursed himself, scrubbing his face. "You dumb fucking fuck."


	11. Chapter 11

Negan hadn't heard from Kayla for six days and six very long nights. Shane had stopped by to pick up her things, both men giving each other side eyes and scowls. Her brother hadn't asked about what happened and Negan could only attribute that to Kayla forbidding him to question their falling out. Shane couldn't possibly know the reason why because if he did, Negan was fairly certain he'd either be locked up or back in the hospital with a few more broken bones.

The bourbon was the first of his liquor to die a horrible death and then the beer. Eventually he took a cab to the store and picked up a few bottles of Jack to push himself back into full-blown alcoholic mode.

He knew he was back to spiraling out of control, the booze instantly becoming his crutch again. All the healthy habits he'd developed, eating right and hell even showering and shaving had gone out the window. Negan wasn't even sure if he was going to go work with T-dog, as the days passed in drunken stupors. He knew he would just fuck everything up again anyways. Why fucking bother?

He would kill to turn back time and either confess to Kayla long ago or maybe stop himself from becoming so obsessed with her. It felt as though he'd shorn off a limb with Kayla gone from his apartment and the empty windows across the courtyard did little to comfort him. Negan wasn't even sure if he'd ever see Kayla again, which was probably the worst thing that had happened to him since losing Lucille. He'd take a thousand broken legs, if he could just get a chance to explain to Kayla why he did, what he did.

A rapid knock had him peeling himself off the couch and shuffling to the door. Peering through the peephole, he found Sherry looking irritated.

"I hear you in there, Negan. Open the damn door."

"Fuck off Sherry." He grunted without opening it.

"Negan, don't make me raise my voice."

Groaning at the motherly threat, Negan scrubbed his face roughly, wiping crust from his eyes. Pulling the door open he kept his gaze narrowed and mouth firm. "What do you want Sherry?"

"Oh, Negan." She murmured, stepping forward with an outstretched hand. Negan stopped her from touching him with a sharp shake of his head. "Don't."

"What's happened? Where's Kayla?"

"She's gone."

"Why?"

Negan swallowed thickly and stepped backwards to let her inside, his eyes on the floor. Sherry walked in, stepping into the cluttered kitchen with a frown. "Negan, this is a lot of empty fucking bottles, when did she leave?"

"Six days ago."

"Jesus, your liver is gonna shut down." She gasped, her lip pulled between her teeth as she slumped against the counter. "Talk to me, Negan."

"She found out." He grunted, his fingers rubbing the bridge of his nose. "About me watching her. I... fuck I wanted to tell her. Every fucking time I'd start, I pussied out."

"Did you try to explain? I mean... does she know about Lucille?"

"Don't."

"But-."

"I'm not going to blame Lucille for me being a fuck up."

"No shit but does she _know_? Negan, you go through something like that and it changes you."

Groaning, he crossed his arms and sunk onto the sofa leaving Sherry in the kitchen. Following him out, she perched on the edge of the coffee table. "Negan."

"She knows about _her_. I didn't tell her about... _the crash_." he huffed out a breath and looked away from Sherry's understanding eyes.

"What about why you crashed?"

"She knows I was a drunk asshole."

"Negan when are going to admit-."

"Shut up Sherry." Negan growled, interrupting her as he always did. He never admitted that his _accident_ wasn't really an accident, not to Sherry, not the doctors, not to himself. He wasn't going to start now.

"Fine but Negan, you love this girl. You can't let her walk away because she found out you like watching her live her life."

"First off I don't love her. She's just… my friend. And secondly, I invaded her privacy, I watched her and… fuck I can't even tell you how many times I jacked it to her."

"Jesus, Negan. I don't need to know that."

"Yeah and she doesn't either. I fucked everything up Sherry and there's no going back. Just like before. There ain't no going back."

Sighing, Sherry looked out the window and asked, "Is she over there?"

"No, she's at her brothers, I think. I doubt she's going to come back. Not with everything else happening here."

"What's happened?"

"They found a dead woman. Strangled."

Sherry's eyes widened at that and she asked, "Why didn't you tell me?"

"It kinda just happened when all this shit was going on. I didn't really give a shit as long as it wasn't Kayla."

"Well you need to fix this. You were just getting back on track Negan, I'm worried about you. When is the last time you showered or shaved?"

"Since she left, I don't know." He grunted, scratching his too long beard.

"How about you go do that, then we can go grocery shopping. I'm sure you have nothing but a liquid diet in your fridge."

Rolling his eyes, Negan glanced at the large window out of habit before dropping his gaze. "I'd prefer not too."

"Negan."

"Sherry. Please. Stop."

Sighing, she raked a hand through her hair and offered, "I'll make a run for you this time. I want you cleaned up and ready next week. Mondays we'll go shopping and you can run errands with me."

"I'm not a fucking child, Sherry. I don't need you to make me a schedule to follow. Besides, I'm supposed to start at the youth center in a couple days."

"Well you better get your shit in order Negan. I don't think you showing up drunk and homeless looking is going to fly."

Grinding his teeth, Negan couldn't keep eye contact with her. She knew him too well and would see right through his words. "I'll be fine."

"The last time you told me that I ended up getting a call telling me you almost died being a jackass." Sherry huffed, her concerned brown eyes filling Negan with guilt. She didn't deserve to worry about his fucked up ass.

"Look. I'll get cleaned up. Promise."

"No more booze."

Rolling his eyes, he offered, "No more booze before noon."

Snorting, Sherry stood up and headed to the front door. "I'll be back with food, shower and shave while I am gone. I can't even look at you when you look like this."

"Good, maybe you'll leave me the fuck alone now." Negan grunted while pushing himself upright from the sofa.

"Keep on dreaming, Negan."

 

* * *

He'd lied to Sherry. Negan's drinking was not under control and on the morning he was supposed to start at the youth center, he found himself passed out by the toilet. He could hear the phone ringing and couldn't give two fucks that he was burning yet another bridge.

Pulling himself from the floor, he shuffled into his bedroom and collapsed on his bed. He lay staring at the ceiling, swallowing through the ever-present knot in his throat. His eyes prickled painfully and not for the first time since Kayla walked out, they overflowed. The throbbing behind his shadowed eyes felt like a battle drum, the pulsing pain making him grimace. Rubbing his face of tears, he chewed his cheek harshly to keep from sobbing like a child. He was losing his fucking mind and nothing seemed to be worth holding onto, now that Kayla was gone.

A set of knocks had him waking up at some point later in the evening, the sound dragging him from his cocoon of blankets. He knew it was either Sherry or T-dog coming to yell at him about being a total fuck up. The thought of being scolded like some misbehaving teenager had him almost turning back around but instead he peeked through the peephole.

The sight had his knees buckling, his hands gripping the doorframe just before he fell to the ground. Unlocking the door instantly, he pulled it open to see Kayla fidgeting with her jacket. Her eyes widened a bit at the sight of him, causing Negan to avoid her eyes. He was ashamed by how quickly he fell apart.

"Can I come in?" She asked when he stayed unresponsive.

Nodding, he backed up into his place and closed the door before joining her in the living room. Negan soaked up the sight of her with greedy eyes, his palms itched with the desire to touch her. She wore her hair down, the healing side of her face partially hidden by swath of chocolate locks. It seemed as though she'd gain a little more weight back and her skin looked healthier but her eyes were tired. Negan could tell she hadn't been sleeping well, the shadows below her expressive eyes symptoms enough.

"Can I sit?" Her voice jolted him out of his intense observation, his eyes dropping away as she caught him looking.

'Stop fucking staring, you freak.' He scolded himself, his nails digging into his palms.

"Of course." He croaked audibly for the first time since she'd arrived, his voice as coarse as gravel.

They sat next to each other, both avoiding the others eyes until she finally broke down and asked, "why?"

"Why what?" Negan murmured, his thick lashes obscuring the subtle peek of his eyes. He couldn't stop looking at her. She was so damn beautiful, the scars having somehow enhanced it.

"Why me? Why were you watching me?"

"I…" he choked on the words he needed to say. However, if there was even a minuscule chance that he could somehow salvage what they had, Negan would do what ever it took. If it meant exposing his dark, ugly parts, he'd peel himself raw for her.

"I lost my shit when Lucille died. Near drank my damn self to death, at least I tried to." Shaking his head, he chewed his cheek as he remembered that night.

He'd spent it gulping whiskey like it was going out of style and flipping through a wedding album. The irony being he'd never even seen the damn thing before. That was what a shit husband he was. There he was mourning his dead wife, as though he earned the right, having never even seen their wedding photos before. He was a selfish prick and he didn't deserve to keep on living. Lucille had been a total sweetheart and he'd shit all over her. All over what they had.

He took his bottle and a folded up photograph of Lucille snuggled up to his chest as they danced as man and wife for the first time. Climbing into the car that he'd treated better than his wife, he headed to the straight away by the train tracks. The place had lots of old buildings with solid brick walls. Negan didn't want to involve any other vehicles with his suicide. No one else deserved to die because of his selfish fucking ass.

He sat at the end of the long street, revving his engine while cursing the world and everything in it. Popping the clutch, Negan peeled out, his tires spitting out gravel as he floored it down the road. He gripped the steering wheel with a gloved hand, while his other shifted into a higher speed, bringing him closer to his end. Streetlights passed overhead and the decrepit buildings flew passed the windows, as the engine roared in his ears like a feral beast.

It was mere moments before impact when his mind cleared and he realized what a horrible mistake he'd made. It was too late to do anything but brace himself. His leg suffered the majority of the impact because of his change of mind, his foot pressing the brake to the floor.

"My _accident_. It wasn't…. it wasn't an accident. I got real drunk on purpose and I took my car out for a high-speed spin into a brick wall. I wanted to die and that's what I tried to do. I tried to kill myself."

Kayla was frowning at the information but Negan continued. "I woke up and figured surviving was karma for being such a shit husband. I was a liar, a cheater and down right prick to Lucille. She deserved so much better than she got."

Kayla surprised him by reaching out and gripping his hand. Staring at the delicate fingers wrap tightly around his thick knuckles, Negan closed his eyes and absorbed the comfort she was providing.

"After everything, I couldn't live with myself, looking in the mirror at the fuck who cursed his wife to a horrible death because he was fucking asshole."

"It wasn't your fault."

"Doesn't matter, she's dead either way and all she knew at the end was that I was a selfish fuck. That she wasn't enough for me."

They sat in a tense silence until he jumped topics. "When you moved in… I had something else to focus on. I'd lost everything and there you were. You were living and breathing and right there for me to see. I had nothing to live for but then I started to watch you and I started climbing out of the bottle."

Squeezing her hand, Negan licked his lip nervously but charged ahead. "I took advantage of you... I got off on watching you. I would watch and I would-."

Kayla cleared her throat and interrupted, "I don't need to know this part."

Nodding, he peered down at the floor shamefully. "I stopped drinking so much, I woke up in the morning because I wanted to see what you were doing that day. I wanted to hear what music you were listening to because then I'd know your mood. I liked watching you work and cook and dance. I know it was wrong, I know I'm a sick fuck and I deserve whatever you want to do to me."

Chewing his lip, Negan asked, "Remember when you thanked me for saving you and I said I was just repaying the favor?"

"Yeah."

"Well you saved me. Seeing you, watching you live… it kept me from falling off the deep end again. I was almost gone. You brought me back to life. And I'd take it all back but that'd mean I wouldn't have been there that night you got attacked. So if I gotta choose, I'll pick losing you again, if it means I get to save you."

Negan swallowed thickly as he watched her stare at him with wide eyes, her fingers fidgeting with her sweater sleeves.

"Why didn't you tell Shane?" Negan asked when she stayed quiet.

"It wasn't his business."

"I just figured you'd have him beat the shit out of me or something."

Kayla snorted, her eyes going to the window before returning to her lap. "I don't want anyone to beat the shit out of you."

"I deserve it."

"Yeah, you do." She replied, her lip twitching slightly giving Negan hope that maybe she wasn't going to hate him forever.

"So why?"

Shrugging, Kayla bit her nail a moment before explaining, "I just… I still… care about you despite what you did."

Negan swallowed thickly and turned in his seat to face her. Reaching out he took her hand and ran his thumb across her knuckles. "I wanted to tell you. I would start and then… I just couldn't lose you and then it got too hard to even fucking start. You were here and I didn't want to lose that. I'm sorry I didn't have the balls to tell you, that you had to find out on your own. That wasn't how I wanted you to find out."

Kayla chewed her lip as she watched him holding her hand, her eyes finally meeting his. "Were you going to tell me?"

"I wanted to." He replied, nervous eyes flit from their hands to her eyes and back again. "I was trying, I just couldn't get the fucking words out. I'm a big pussy apparently."

"Is there anything else that you need to tell me?" she asked, resting her head against the sofa and peering up at him. "Now's the time to confess everything because if more shit comes out later…"

"I saw you… with that guy." He blurted out, feeling his neck heat at the confession. Kayla stared a moment as though trying to remember who he was speaking of before she blushed deeply.

"I wanted to kick his fucking teeth in when he left that morning. I watched you cry over that shitbag and wanted to hold you so fucking bad."

"Jesus." Kayla huffed out a breath and crossed her arms defensively. "You really saw everything didn't you."

"I'm sorry." Negan muttered, shaking his head while adding, "I just didn't want to have any other secrets."

Rolling her eyes, Kayla muttered, "so you know more about me than I know about you."

"That's not true." Negan replied, his hooded eyes meeting hers. "Never told anyone about that night. About my accident. People suspected but I've never told _anyone_."

Staring at him for a long quiet moment, Kayla bobbed her head in acknowledgment. They'd both been exposed in one way or another.

"I didn't just watch you. I mean, mostly I watched you but I started to watch everyone else too."

"Like who?"

Motioning to the window, he offered, "Wanna see?"

Cocking an eyebrow, Kayla shrugged. "I suppose I should see what's so damn entertaining."

Snorting, Negan answered, "You're the most interesting person living here and you aren't here anymore…. I miss you being here."

He watched her swallow thickly, before she nodded subtly. "Me too."

Negan's eyes closed at her words, his lungs emptying in one gust with the utter relief at hearing she felt the same. His heavy lids fluttered open and he looked at her with glazed eyes. "M'sorry I hurt you."

Kayla bit her lip in thought, her hazelnut eyes softening as she stared at him breaking apart in front of her. Reaching out, she slid hand into his and squeezed it. She didn't speak for a long moment, only looked deeply into him, her gaze penetrating his upper layers to find his raw center. Three words were murmured from those soft lips and he nearly thought he had hallucinated it until she repeated them for good measure.

"I forgive you."


	12. Chapter 12

Negan stood with Kayla as they peered out his large windows. He bit his tongue as he watched her peer through the binoculars at the neighbor's. She was now on the other side of the lens and the sight had him hard and throbbing. Hooded eyes slid down her lithe body, Negan's dick twitching as she bit her lip. He began to wonder if she liked to watch just as much as he did, looking in from the outside. A hot pulse ran through his loins at the ball scrunching thought of it. Negan couldn't help the drunken gaze he sported as a flickering of possibilities flashed through his mind, dirty fucking things.

"You really can see everything from here." She commented, while lowering the binoculars. Her teasing voice had his gaze snapping back to her face, heavy lids widened as he found her smirking knowingly. "I suppose I should've closed my curtains once in a while."

Biting back an embarrassed smile, Negan confessed, "I prefer them open."

"Of course you do, _pervert_." She commented but flashed him a crooked grin. The fact that she was joking about it, gave Negan hope that they could overcome his stupidity. Maybe she would forgive him after a shit ton of ball busting.

Rolling his eyes, Negan scratched his beard lazily, the coarse hair becoming cumbersome. He hadn't realized how gray it was getting until it grew too long.

"You need a trim. You look like a lumberjack."

"Yeah. I need to get cleaned up and speak with T." He confessed with a grimace. "I was supposed to start work today."

"You missed your first day?" Kayla asked, her brow furrowed deeply. "Why?"

"I haven't exactly been… functioning."

Frowning, Kayla wrung her hands and muttered, "I'm sorry."

"Hey, no. I didn't say that to make you feel fucking guilty." He offered, reaching out to hold her hand. "This is all my goddamn mess. Not yours."

"I still feel responsible."

Pulling her closer, Negan brushed his thumb across her jaw. "No ones responsible for my fucked up life but _me_."

Kayla chewed her lip, before offering with a feigned indifference , "Let me give you a trim, I'll feel less guilty."

"You want to cut my hair? Have you ever done that?" Negan narrowed his eyes suspiciously. He wasn't too sure if Kayla was going to do something for revenge. There was no way he was going to let her shave "fuckface" on his scalp.

"I used to trim Shane's hair when we were young."

"Oh yeah, and did he have a bowl cut because I'm not handsome enough to pull off a fucking bowl cut."

Snorting, Kayla smacked his shoulder while walking passed to the kitchen for the scissors. "No, he didn't and I don't know, I think you could pull off just about anything with that ugly mug."

"Aww." He teased, "I knew you liked me."

Smirking, Kayla snipped the scissors aggressively with a gleam in her eyes. "Here's where we learn if we trust each other."

Negan stared at her with unsure eyes and swallowed thickly. "You're not going to fucking Van Gogh me are you?"

Snorting obnoxiously, Kayla quipped, " _no_. I'm going to shave a glory hole onto the back of your head."

Bellowing loudly, Negan wagged a finger at her and threatened, "you do and it's fucking on like donkey kong sweetcheeks. You better sleep with one gorgeous fucking peeper open."

Walking closer she murmured, "sit down and shut the fuck up."

Bristling at the order, Negan grumbled, "only because I owe you one."

"Whatever helps you sleep at night, _princess_."

 

* * *

Sitting in a kitchen chair, Kayla wrapped a towel around his shoulders and got to work cutting his hair and trimming his beard. Negan couldn't stop moaning as her fingers ran through his hair and scratched along his scalp. His eyes would fall shut and his breathing would deepen as he felt her move around him. She was taking care of him and Negan could barely contain himself as she did.

"You really shouldn't have missed your new work because of me, Negan. What if he changes his mind now?"

"Then I'll find something else." He replied, his voice muffled under the sound of his beard trimmer.

"But-."

"No buts, well except your sexy ass."

"Shush." She spoke with a laugh, bumping his arm playfully with her hip.

"What? It is a sexy ass." He rasped, biting his lip in thought of it.

"You would know." Kayla deadpanned, her lips quirked to the side.

"I do know." He groaned, as she scratched his scalp again. "Fuck that feels fucking awesome. I'm not gonna lie, I am like ex-fucking-caliber under this towel."

"I can tell." She laughed as he gave a low groan again. "You're not exactly hiding anything there big boy."

Negan huffed out an embarrassed breath, his eyes sliding to the side to catch a glimpse of her pretty face. "You make me feel good."

Kayla's hands paused their motions, her coffee colored eyes widening at his confession. Stroking her hand through the now shortened beard, the petite brunette stepped in between Negan's legs. She gazed down at him, her bottom lip trapped between her teeth.

"I wanna make you feel good too." Negan murmured, his fingertips tracing the outside seam of her jeans, up her thigh and hip, eventually curling into her belt loop. He tugged her closer, while still giving her the option to turn him down. "What can I do for you, doll?"

Kayla's breath was short and shallow as both his hands slid up her thighs to hold her hips. He tilted his head back some and stretched his neck to kiss her chin and jaw, nuzzling into her warm skin.

She gasped when he pulled her even closer, his voice low and hoarse. "Probably both need a shower, all covered in hair. I could help you."

When Kayla peered down at him, he could see the want in her eyes but watched her nervously chew her lip. "I'm not sure we should do that."

"Because of what I did?"

"Because we just made up."

"Then it's the perfect time. Let me show you how much I appreciate the second chance." He murmured, his lips curling into a boyish grin.

Rolling her eyes, she replied, "You're good at getting what you want."

"When I put my mind to it, yes."

Negan let Kayla remove the towel now covered in sheared hair before standing up, adjusting himself with muffled groan.

"If you don't want to, its okay. I just know you liked when I washed your hair that one time."

Negan watched her eyes flicker to his, the memory obviously desirable.

"Okay." She replied but adding, "no funny business."

"Nothing I want to do to you in that fucking shower is going to be funny." He assured, his eyebrows raised suggestively. Kayla laughed at his words while following him into the bathroom.

"You know what I mean."

"We don't have to do anything you don't want to." Negan replied, turning around to face her. "You can go first, if you don't want to do it together."

"I want to." She replied softly, her eyes watching as he pulled his shirt off with false ease. Negan wouldn't admit it but his hands were trembling at the idea of being naked with Kayla. They'd kissed before, his roaming palms touching her through clothing and while she was sick, he'd washed her hair while she was bathing but now they'd be naked and wet together.

He felt his chest pounding an erratic rhythm, the faltered thud catching his breath and dizzying his head. The sight of Kayla pulling her shirt from her petite body had Negan swallowing thickly, his hooded eyes sliding over the newly exposed skin. She wore a navy colored lace bra, something feminine and delicate. It gave him a roaring thrill to think she'd chosen it, thinking he may end up seeing it. Licking his lip, Negan felt his eyes drawn to the dusty pink showing through the floral transparent fabric. He could feel himself being consumed by the desire to taste, lick and bite every square inch of her silky skin. His dick ached to the pace of his heartbeat, the sensation heady and intoxicating.

Kayla's hair fell across the scarred cheek, the woman acquiring the habit of hiding the healed wounds, ducking behind a wall of thick locks. Reaching out, Negan combed the fallen strands from her face, his thumb dragging subtly across the scars.

"Don't hide from me." He rasped quietly, the coarseness of his voice contrasting with his gentle tone.

"I hate them." Kayla confessed, leaning into his palm, while avoiding his eyes. Negan stepped closer, his other hand resting on her hip as he sank his fingers into her hair.

"You're beautiful." He rasped, his eyes tracing over every curve of her face and jagged edged scar that graced it. " _Nothing_ will change that."

The feeling of both her hands touching his waist and stomach jolted him into motion. Shifting her face upwards, Negan brushed his thumb against her bottom lip. He growled as they parted and her wet, pink tongue darted out to touch his fingertip.

"Wanna taste me, darlin'?" He drawled gravelly, his blown pupils soaking up the sight of her wantonly panting.

"Yeah." She gasped, her fingers curling into the waist of his jeans.

"Fuck." He grunted as she tugged him closer, his hard dick pressing into her stomach.

"Kiss me."

Leaning forward he sucked her bottom lip into his mouth, his teeth teasing the soft skin. He had to stop himself from drawing blood; the feeling of the plump flesh between his teeth had him ravenous.

Kayla's hands sunk into his hair when he tried to pull back, the tiny brunette affixing her mouth to his, demanding entrance almost immediately. He was surprised at her enthusiasm but dove to meet her needs.

The taste of her flooded his mouth, causing him to salivate greedily. His body took over, as his mind spun out like a top. Negan had no fucking idea how he went from drinking himself to death, to ravaging Kayla's mouth and neck with glutinous vigor. Whatever serendipity was at work, the desperate man was not passing it up by asking why the girl was doing what she was doing. Who the fuck was he to question her?

"Fucking. Fuck, doll." He growled when Kayla's hands tugged at the button on his pants in frustration.

"Off." She demanded with a huskiness he'd never heard from her swollen lips.

"Easy, beautiful. Easy." Negan calmed her, a teasing grin sliding across his face with no subtlety. "Don't rush a guy. Where's the foreplay?"

Her laugh rung out and eased the pounding of his heart. Things were moving faster than he thought possible. Negan didn't want to fuck anything up again.

"Is this considered funny business?" He asked, while silently begging all fucking things holy that she wouldn't change her mind.

Shaking her head, Kayla smirked playfully. "I'm not fucking laughing." Thumbing the button open, he watched as she licked her lips before biting down _hard_. She liked watching, he could see her rising chest quicken as he dropped his jeans. He stood in front of her wearing a pair of gray boxer briefs, the giant hard-on unavoidable. Testing his theory that Kayla was just as big of a voyeur as he was, he grabbed the source of his throbbing ache and rubbed it through the cotton. Negan watched as she swallowed, her hands clenched against her thighs. Her greedy eyes flickered over his body and face but kept focusing on his hand, the flexing forearm and clutching fingers had her attention completely.

"Like that?" He rasped, reaching out with his free hand to unbutton her pants. "Wanna watch me tug one out?"

"Yeah." She panted, chewing on her lip as she stepped out of her jeans. "In the shower. I wanna watch you... cum."

"Jesus fucking Christ, princess. I'm gonna blow in my shorts if you keep talking like that." Negan huffed, his eyes shutting as he grasped himself tighter. When his heavy eyes fluttered open, Negan peered down at her in the tiny underwear and bra. "You gonna leave those on?"

"I don't know, you leaving yours on?"

Negan smirked at her nervous shuffling, her thighs squeezing together as he slowly dropped his boxers. He feigned confidence while standing buck ass naked, his dick literally bobbing to his heart rate, as the woman he was head over heels with, slowly peeled off her last flimsy scraps of clothing.

He hissed a breath through clenched teeth as he watched the expanses of smooth silky skin exposed, inch-by-inch. She had perfect little handfuls, topped off with tight little rosy nipples. His mouth watered at that sight alone but when her panties dropped, he saw god in that bare cleft between her supple thighs. Negan wasn't positive because he hadn't buried his face between her wet lips… yet, but he was fairly certain her pussy deserved to be worshiped liked the deity it was.

"Fucking Christ." Negan cursed as she cupped herself and asked in a husky voice belonging in his dirtiest of dreams. "Do you wanna watch me too?"

"Yes. Fucking hell. Get in the goddamn shower." He ordered, pulling the stall door open and following her inside with little patience or control.

For a moment they only stared at each other with nervous eyes but as Negan's hand returned to the pulsing heat between his legs, Kayla was instantly enthralled.

"You like watching." He rasped, his head rolling back some as the lazy strokes took the edge off. Kayla bit the corner of her lips, as he groaned at his movements.

"Apparently."

"Are you wet?" Negan asked breathlessly.

"I'm in the shower aren't I?"

"Don't be a smartass." He grunted, his hand sliding along his cock with ease, while he watched her squirm under his gaze. "Fuck, you're getting a little antsy darlin'. Maybe you should slid those little fingers down there."

The sight of Kayla's hand trailing down her stomach, her fingertips dancing along her smooth abdomen to the promise land, had Negan panting heavily. He'd never seen something as erotic as Kayla propping her leg on the shower ledge while she curled her fingers through the soaked folds between her thighs.

"Fucking hell." He groaned, his hand tightening around his hard prick as she swirled two fingers around her swelling hood.

"Have you watched me before? Fucking myself?"

"Jesus Christ." He moaned, his head shaking slightly. "No I… fucking fuck, you look hot as shit right now."

"You what?"

"I thought once you were but it was dark." He offered tightly as he fought cumming from the sight before him. Kayla's fingers moved further down, the tips disappearing inside her before retreating back to her clit.

Negan's hand was working a faster rhythm, his breath catching as she started to unravel in front of him. Her bare chest was rising rapidly as the sensations and sight began to push her towards an orgasm also.

"You're so fucking gorgeous fucking yourself right now." He commented, licking his lips as her fingers sunk deeply inside her. "Jesus, can I kiss you?"

Nodding without halting her movement, she tilted her head back as he stepped in close. Their wrists were bumping as they both worked themselves over, their eyes drilling into each other greedily.

With his free hand, Negan cupped her neck and tilted her head back, aligning his mouth with hers. Pausing before he kissed her, he hovered just a hair's breadth away and whispered, "are you soaked, baby girl?"

"Sopping."

"Fuck." He growled before attacking her mouth and pressing her into the wall. Their hands were pinned between them, both of them too gluttonous to stop fucking themselves. Kayla's tongue was twirling a hot path around his mouth, as he groaned like a virgin. Her tight nipples were brushing against his chest hair, the hard little nubs flushed pink.

Sliding his mouth along her jaw and neck, Negan nipped his way to her ear and rasped, "Wanna taste your tight little pussy. Bet you're as sweet as honey."

"Negan." She gasped, her head going back as her hand worked faster. Using his free hand, he cupped her breast and squeezed her nipple, plucking at it with teasing fingers.

"Sexy little tits. Fucking hell, I wanna fuck them." He growled, biting at her neck and shoulder as his hand tightened around his dick. The head of his cock ached and pulsed, the skin turned darker as he held a tentative grasp on his control.

"Want you to cum on them." Kayla replied, her voice hoarse and out of breath.

"Jesus Christ. M'gonna cum soon, doll. Fuck. Are you almost there?"

"Yeah." She panted, her eyes dropping to watch his hand. Her lips parted as she gasped, watching him tighten his fist and work the heated flesh faster.

"I'm gonna paint you, sweetheart." He growled, his dark eyes watching the way her lungs caught at the words. "Fuck, you want me to. Goddamn you're amazing."

"Oh fuck." Kayla gasped her thighs quivering as her hand began to lose coordination. Her orgasm hit her hard, giving the man a vision of heaven. Throwing her head back, a low moan echoed against the tile walls as her hips rocked into her palm. He could see how slick her fingers were despite not being anywhere near the steady stream of water.

He watched her breasts heave as she continued to push herself through her orgasm, her eyes fluttering before returning to his rapidly increased pace.

"You gonna cum for me?"

"Yeah." He panted, his eyes flickering over her body and face. "Let me taste your pussy."

Sliding her fingers from her core, Kayla brought them to his lips with a smirk. "Pervert."

"Takes one to know one." He growled before sucking her fingers into his mouth aggressively. The deep chest rumbling moan that emanated from his throat was muffled some by the digits stuffed into his mouth but it was unmistakable how much he enjoyed her taste. The flavor of her coated his tongue and slicked his throat, the musky sweetness exactly what he was picturing but so much more. His hand rolled over the top of his dick, the head weeping profusely at his actions.

When Kayla's nails scraped along his abdomen, brushing through his happy trail, Negan's control broke. Pressing her into the wall, he rut his dick into her wet skin like an animal in heat.

"Fuck." He grunted as the head of his dick expanded once more before the tension in his entire body broke. Moaning so deeply, he imaged he was hurting Kayla's ears, he came all over her stomach and the underside of her tits. He barely locked his knees before collapsing under the weight of his orgasm.

Pressing his forehead into the tile next to her shoulder, he panted against her neck. Kayla's arms wrapped him up, tugging him closer for support. He felt her hands stroking up and down his back but could barely focus on breathing let alone speaking.

It was damn near five minutes before he pulled back to look at the mess he made. Smirking at the sight of his cum coating her smooth stomach and dripping from the subtle curves of her breasts had him aching again.

"You look hot covered in me."

Smirking at his words, Kayla replied, "You look hot all weak kneed and flustered."

Feeling his neck heat at the comment, he muttered, "I'm only weak kneed because I busted it."

"Excuses, excuses. Just admit it, I make you quiver." She teased, her fingers dancing along his ribs.


	13. Chapter 13

Wrapping Kayla up in his long arms, Negan pressed his nose into her damp hair and smirked. He didn't know how they'd ended up cuddling on his bed but he was going to enjoy every second. Tracing her spine with his thumb, Negan replayed their shower time behind closed eyes and felt himself stiffen below the sheet. He had never experience something so raw and real before.

Glancing down, he looked over her peaceful face framed with dark wavy locks. Negan was head over heels with her and felt an immense sense of rightness when with Kayla. He wasn't going to mess up what they had, never again.

"Are you watchin' me sleep, weirdo?" her husky voice brought a smile to his face.

"Maybe." He replied softly, combing hair from her temple to see her tilt her face upwards.

Kayla stretched her neck to kiss him, her lips soft and yielding when he deepened it. Negan groaned when she curled into him, her leg hooking over his hip as she climbed up to straddle his waist.

"Fucking hell." He growled, his hands gripping her hips as she stared down at him. "You're so damn gorgeous."

Kayla bit her lip and stroked her hands down Negan's chest, her fingers tracing the tattoos peeking out from below his shirt sleeves.

"You're very handsome." She replied, her eyes flicking to his as he smirked. "Oh shush."

"I didn't say anything."

"You had a smug grin."

"A _silent_ smug grin."

"Shush." She huffed, leaning forward to devour his mouth. He couldn't stop himself from rolling upwards into her spread legs, rutting against her warm core. Negan hadn't wanted someone so badly, in a very long time, the throbbing between his legs like nothing before.

"Goddamn, girl." He groaned at the feeling of her teeth nipping his neck and ear. "Drivin' me fuckin' crazy."

Curling his fingers into the meat of her ass, he flipped Kayla onto her back and sunk between her legs. "We gotta stop."

"Why?" She gasped, her eyes sliding shut as he stroked her side and yanked her leg up his ribs.

"Because..." he moaned at the feeling of her writhing against his hard-on. "You wanted slow right?"

Kayla nodded, her mouth attaching to his neck as he framed her body with his long limbs. "Yeah, I said that." She murmured, her words not near convincing.

"You changing your mind?"

"Maybe."

"Don't do something you're not ready for." He rasped, his nose tracing the edge of her jaw, as he inhaled her sweet scent. "I don't want you regretting any-fucking-thing you do with me."

Kayla sighed softly when his hand slid up her shirt to stroke her ribs, his fingertips drawing goose bumps across her skin.

"Want you to want this as much as I do, but I don't want you to feel pressured."

Kayla gasped as his fingertips stroked the curve of her breasts. "I don't feel pressured."

"Good." Negan murmured, kissing her softly but chastely, showing massive restraint. "We should stop, though."

"It's not that I don't want to." Kayla muttered, her eyes dropping shyly.

"I know, sweetheart." He replied, combing hair from her temple to tuck behind her ear, while taking in her blushing cheeks and stiff nipples. "I can tell you want the dick."

"Shuddup." Kayla muttered, rolling her embarrassed eyes as he chuckled like an idiot. Lying on his side, he looked her over with an affection he hadn't felt since first dating Lucille. Back in the naive days when they may have been starry eyed idiots, but they were happy starry-eyed idiots.

He was contemplating the fact that he not only was happy but also that he hadn't realized how unhappy he had been before everything unraveled. Before the affairs and way before the cancer, Negan was feeling like a wayfaring stranger in his own home. It was his own fault, the consequences of his inability to control, not only his flirtatious nature but also his poor impulse control. He'd made his bed but now that he was with Kayla he was realizing just how unhappy he'd been.

"Do you think the guy who killed Olivia, is the same guy who attacked me?" Kayla's voice tugged Negan away from his inner contemplation.

"I don't know but..."

"But what?"

"I think the guy in 1313 had some fights with her about her cat."

"Huh? How do you-.. never mind." She rolled her eyes and sat up against the headboard. Joining her, Negan explained what he knew.

"Her cat would shit in his tomato plants. The same one that ended up in the dryer."

"Jesus." Kayla gasped, "You think he did that?"

"He's a goddamn weirdo, that's for sure. Just has this... vibe."

"So, you think he attacked me?"

"I don't know. I don't think so. You don't even know him right?" Negan replied, his eyebrows raised in question.

Shaking her head, Kayla answered, "No."

"Well, then why would he attack you? But the cat lady... maybe."

Sighing, Kayla asked, "who do you think did it?"

"Your attack?"

"Yeah."

Shrugging his broad shoulders, Negan offered, "My guess is your ex or someone connected to him. New girlfriend getting someone to do it, maybe."

"I don't know anymore. " Kayla sighed, her fingers tracing the scar cutting through her jawline. "Maybe we should watch the weirdo. See if he does anything suspicious. Rule him out maybe."

"I don't know, doll. I don't want to piss him off, if he's some lunatic."

"You'll protect me." She quipped, her tone teasing. Negan growled, squeezing her to his body. "Obviously but I'd rather not go to jail for dismembering some dumbfuck for even fucking thinking about hurting you."

 

* * *

Kayla was perched on a stool watching the man in 1313 as he ate dinner and drank gin from a bottle. Negan watched her as she spied, his dick hard and aching from the makeout session they partook in.

"You gonna watch all night?" He asked, while serving up a plate of pasta with meat sauce.

"No."

"You sure because I just made my fuck awesome ragu and you're still peeping."

Snorting obnoxiously, Kayla set the binoculars down and joined him at the table. "Sorry."

"Don't worry about it. I want to catch the fuck that hurt you. Crossing him off the list, or finding out he did it, is even better."

Moaning as she ate, Kayla kept complimenting him, while stroking his already huge ego. Negan kept squirming in his chair, as she made pleasing sounds way too similar to the ones she made in the shower. He began imagining what she would look like under him as he impaled her, legs spread wide as he pulled those sounds from deep inside her throat. She would be gorgeous all sweaty and flush, her breasts taut and core soaked.

'Holy hell.' He muttered inwardly, as his dick practically knocked on the underside of the table for assistance.

"What do you think?"

"Huh?"

Rolling her eyes, Kayla repeated her question, "Do you think he's got evidence in his place?"

Frowning at the question, Negan replied, "Well even if he did, it's in his place. We'd have to get a better scope to see that kind of detail."

"Yeah." Kayla sighed, shrugging her shoulders heavily. "I just... I want to know who did this." Her hand gestured to her face, the woman ducking her head slightly to cover up the scars with her hair. Negan didn't bother telling her not to hide from him, she knew his thoughts on the matter. He wouldn't force her to keep them exposed, if she wasn't comfortable with it.

Reaching forward, he covered her hand with his, stroking her soft wrist with his thumb. "We'll figure it out."

His phone ringing had Negan pulling away to see who it was. T-dog flashed on the screen, making Negan groan inwardly. "Damnit." He grumbled before picking it up.

"Hey man." He rasped, walking into the kitchen for privacy. "Look I-."

"Save it, Negan. Like I tell my kids, I don't need excuses. I need changes in behavior. I know you had some tough times, but I gotta know if you're going to pull it together for this job."

"Yeah, I can. I apologize for no showing. I was-."

"Don't need excuses, brother." T-dog interrupted, "Look it is, what it is. Now all I need to know is if that's going to be a habit?"

"No. No it won't."

"Good. I want you to come help me with something."

"Sure, when?"

"Right now."

"T-."

"Come on, man. You no showed. You owe me."

"Fucker." Negan growled, looking into the dining room to see Kayla back on the stool looking at the mustachioed man. "Fine. Where am I going?"

"I'll pick you up in fifteen."

"You gonna tell me what I'm doing?"

"Nope."

"Fucker." Negan huffed, scrubbing his eyes a minute before adding, "I'll see you in a few."

"Good man."

Hanging up the phone, Negan wandered into the living room and snuck up behind Kayla.

"Whatcha lookin' at creeper?" He drawled quietly into her neck, as he reached her. Kayla startled at his sudden appearance, her eyes shooting over her shoulder to see him looming. Negan smiled slowly, before leaning forward to kiss her lips softly.

"Jerk." She gasped as he pulled her closer, his hands gripping her hips and mouth dipping to kiss the her neck.

"Don't be mean." He murmured, kissing the soft skin behind her ear. "I was just playing."

"Mm." Kayla hummed, her hands curling into his shirt as he pressed her against the wall next to the window. "Who called?"

"T. I gotta go help him with something to make up for me being an asshole."

"Now?"

"Yeah, sorry to need to leave but I'll make it up to you, doll." Negan promised, his hand stroking her face and neck affectionately.

"Oh yeah, how?"

"Well if you're still here, I'll continue what I'm doing right now." he replied, his hands sliding up her ribs and his thumbs brushing the soft curve of her breasts.

"Okay." She gasped, as Negan sucked on her earlobe and licked the subtle edge of her jaw. "Hurry back, yeah?" she moaned, her fingers clutching his biceps.

"Fuck, yeah."

 

* * *

Negan slouched in the cab of T-dog's pickup truck, the bald bastard grinning like a fool as he sulked.

Slapping a meaty hand across Negan's shoulder, his friend chuckled, "What's her name big guy, I know I interrupted somethin' pretty damn sweet to have you sulkin' like one o'my kids."

Huffing out a laugh, Negan couldn't stop the grin tugging at his lips as he replied, "Kayla."

"Whoo-wee. " T-dog hooted, "She must be somethin' special, man. You look _wound_ up!"

"Yeah, thanks for that asshole. You have no damn idea what I could be doing right now."

"Oh, I _gots_ an idea." He guffawed, slapping Negan again playfully. "Think of it as payback for ditching my ass on days open."

"Fuck, man. I don't apologize for fuck all but that was a dick move on my part."

"That supposed t'be an apology?" T-dog grinned, the gap in his teeth taunting Negan in the dark cab.

"Jesus H. Fuck... Fine, _I'm_ _sorry_ T. I apologize for being a prick and missing the opening. I can't promise I won't be an asshole again though, I'm a fuck up, but I'm trying to not dick anything else up. Alright?"

"Alright. So, you screw the pooch with this Kayla?"

"Pretty sure the pooch screwed me." Negan grunted, his troubled eyes narrowing as he bit his lip. Sliding his gaze to the driver, he explained, "I lied to her about something important and she found out on her own instead of me telling her. I lost it when I realized I'd fucked up the first good thing in my life since everything went to shit. That's why I no showed."

"But she was at your place, so what? You actually apologize to her?"

"She showed up and took pity on my dumbass. And yes, I _actually_ apologized."

The truck was quiet as they drove, Negan letting the conversation wash away, while thinking about the hot brunette he had at home in his bed. Goddamn he was going to do dirty things to her if she let him. He wanted to strip her bare and lick and suck on every single adorable part of her. She was sexy and cute, her soft curves and wicked smirk causing his dick to ache immensely.

"Ya wanna know where we're going?" T-dog asked, breaking Negan's perverted trance.

"You actually going to tell me or are you just fuckin' with me?"

"I'll tell ya." T-dog replied, flashing him a bright smile. "You gotta say please though."

"Fuck off."

"Fine, fine." The other man laughed heartily. "We're picking up one of my kids at the bus depot in Atlanta."

"Run away?"

"Sorta. He's been actin' out ever since his mom died a couple weeks ago. Stayin' out, skippin' school. Had a couple run-ins with the cops for vandalism." T-dog explained as they exited the freeway.

"Home life shit? Why isn't his dad picking him up?"

"Besides his mom dyin', his home's solid. His pops is a good guy, he tries but he lost his wife and has his daughter to worry about also. He's spread thin. Can't do it all. Kid called me, I think he needed help with a gradual re-entry into his life. He'd been to the center before. He's a good kid, just needs some direction."

Negan nodded as he thought about what it would've been like to lose Lucille, while being a father of two kids.

"That why I'm here?" He asked, as they pulled into the huge lot lined with buses and taxis.

"Figured you could relate to the kid, ya know what he's going through in a way."

Negan grunted at the statement, his hand roughly rubbing his jaw in thought. They pulled into a parking spot and watched the front doors of the depot. They saw the crowd thin and eventually T-dog tipped his chin in the direction of a lanky male exiting the building.

"There he is."

Negan waited in the truck as his friend exited and met the teen halfway. The kid was tall and lean, his mop of brown hair hanging in his face. He carried a backpack on one shoulder, as he stared at the ground, while T-dog spoke. The large man gripping the kid's narrow shoulder and dipped his head, his mouth moving as the teen nodded. T-dog then wrapped a big arm around his shoulders and steered him to the truck. Negan shifted uncomfortably in his seat as he realized he'd have to deal with the kid. It'd been a long time since he'd had to be his teacher persona, Negan wasn't too sure he remembered how.

"This is Carl, Carl this is Negan. He's a friend and he'll be working at the new center."

"Hey, kid." Negan greeted, flashing him a grin.

Carl grunted in response, his blue eyes flashing to Negan's darker gaze before peering out the window, as the truck headed out of the parking lot. The group travelled quietly, all three silent as they merged onto the freeway.

"So is she hot?" Negan asked after the silence grew to suffocating levels in the enclosed space.

"Huh?" Carl mumbled, his brow furrowed under the heavy bangs hanging in his face.

"The girl you ran away with. She must be, if it's got you riding a fucking greyhound in the middle of the damn night." Negan joked, his eyebrows wiggling suggestively.

"How'd you..."

"Come on, kid. Nothing causes stupid fucking decision making, like cute girls. They're pretty much the sole reason men are fuck ups."

"I mean... she's... cool."

"Cool? So not a hot girl. No cheerleader huh?"

"No, she's smart and funny." Carl snapped, his eyes angry as Negan smirked cockily over his shoulder.

"A nerd huh?" he drawled, nodding his head in understanding.

"She's into art, she's not a nerd."

"A nerdy artist. I dig it. I'd date a chick that could draw me dirty pictures. That'd be hot as fuck."

"Negan." Tdog drawled lazily from the driver's seat, his tone obvious.

Negan ignored his friend's subtle warning, he teased, "So she's not a real looker but she's talented in other ways."

"She's pretty." Carl huffed, his arms crossing defensively. "Why the hell are you askin'? You some old pervert?"

"Maybe." Negan drawled, his grin growing at the kids irritation. "What's her phone number?"

"Fuck you." Carl finally snapped, his blue eyes blazing as he sat forward in his seat.

"Carl." T-dog huffed, "He's just messing with you. Negan could you act more like an adult and less like one of my toddlers in Sunday school."

Laughing deeply and slapping his thigh, Negan gave Carl a shit-eating grin. "I'm just bustin' your balls, little man. You know, like guys do?"

Huffing out a frustrated breath, Carl sat back with his arms crossed. Negan looked him over and began wondering where he'd seen the kid before. He seemed familiar but he couldn't place him.

"What school do you go to?" he asked, turning in his seat slightly.

Carl didn't answer at first, the teen obviously not trusting Negan's line of questioning. Eventually he muttered, "West Ridge."

"Hmm. You play baseball?"

"No."

"Weird. You look familiar."

"How the hell should I know?"

Rolling his eyes, Negan sat back in his seat and instructed, "Okay well, I'll be coaching at the new center, you'll come try out. Show me what you can do."

"No thanks."

"I think I made that sound like an option when in reality, it's not. You'll be coming to tryouts and showing me what you can do."

"You can't make me do shit. You're not my dad."

"Thank fucking god for that shit. I'd be in jail for whooping your ass for running off for a piece of _pretty_ tail." Negan drawled, laughing at the kid's indignant look. "Look kid, you called T here because you trust him yeah?"

"I guess."

" _Thanks_ Carl." T-dog snorted, his eyes going to the mirror to look at the teen. "Real ringing recommendation."

"So, you trust him. He trusts me-."

"Somewhat." T-dog inserted with a grin.

"Shut the fuck up already." Negan huffed, punching T-dog in the shoulder. "I'm trying to be a responsible adult like you wanted."

"Fine, fine. Go ahead Obiwan. Teach the kid somethin'."

" _Je_ -sus." Negan sighed, rubbing his eyes tiredly. "Any-fucking-ways. This asshole hired me because he trusts me, so you have to trust me. You come to try outs, if you can throw a ball or catch it, you'll make the team. It'll make your pops happy, you'll get to hangout with other fuck ups like yourself and I can guaran-goddamn-tee I'll entertain you. Soooo, I'll see you at tryouts."

"Whatever."

"Won't be whatever when I tell your dad about it. He'll be up your ass and making your life miserable about it. So you'll come. You'll see."

 

* * *

The truck pulled up to a suburban home, the grass a little too long and weeds popping up in the flowerbeds. Sitting in the driveway was a police cruiser, the vehicle parked as though it belonged there.

"Holy shit. Your dad's a cop?"

"Yeah, sheriff deputy."

"No wonder you got issues." Negan scoffed, unbuckling his seatbelt.

"Fuck you." Carl snapped again, his eyes narrowed and angry.

"No thanks. I like brunettes but I prefer bigger tits." Negan replied, flashing him a smarmy wink.

"Negan." Tdog huffed, turning the vehicle off.

"What?" He scoffed, flashing T-dog a coy grin. "Just sayin'."

"Well stop speaking." T-dog instructed before turning in his seat. "Shall we all go in."

"Not him." Carl growled, climbing out of the truck and slamming the door.

Negan chuckled, before climbing out of the truck. He wasn't going to miss the homecoming, it was bound to be explosive and Negan could use the entertainment.

As they walked up the driveway, the front door opened and a man still in his uniform came out.

"Carl!" He exclaimed, as he strode towards them. Negan realized it was Rick halfway up the drive and remembered where he'd seen the kid before. Kayla babysat for both of them at one point, the teen and his baby sister had dinner at her place one evening. The last time he'd spoken with Rick, he was still a married man, now he was widower like Negan. The world shit on everyone it seemed.

"Where'd you go? Why didn't you call me?"

"Went to Enid's."

"She's in the city!" Rick growled, his eyes landing on the men behind his son. His brow furrowed as he saw Negan standing with T-dog. "Negan? What're you doing here?"

The other two looked at him strangely, as he shrugged his big shoulders lazily. "Working with T at his new place. Coaching."

Nodding, he glanced at Carl and opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by the crying of a baby coming from his pocket. Pulling out a baby monitor, Rick sighed, rubbing his bearded face roughly. "Come on in guys. I gotta get Jude."

The group headed inside, Negan looking around at the pictures on the wall and the messy house. There was piles of laundry and mail stacked on the dining table, the father of two obviously struggling to keep up with all that raising two kids entailed. The baby monitor was still screeching in his pocket as he shut the door.

"Carl." Rick started but was interrupted by the little girl crying loudly. "Hell, I gotta see what she needs."

"Just fucking talk to your kid." Negan huffed, shedding his leather jacket as if he belonged in the cop's house. "I'll get the ankle biter."

"What?" Carl shrieked. "Don't let him see Judith."

"Hey now, calm down, kid. I can entertain babies just fine. They have better senses of humor that dipshits your age."

Rick pointed towards the baby's room, the man looking far from convinced but too damn exhausted to argue. Wandering into the pink bedroom, Negan found the girl standing up in her crib, her face red and blotchy and snot dripping from her nose.

"Well, darlin' you are a hot damn mess ain't ya." Negan drawled, wiping her face with a spare blanket hanging on the crib. Picking her up, he bounced her a little trying to calm her down but she only cried.

"Easy there, sweetcheeks." He murmured, softly as he patted her back and cradled her to his chest. "Nobody like a whiner."

Stroking her little back, Negan paced a few times as she settled into pathetic whimpers, her body huffing out little irritated breathes. "That's it, darlin'. Easy does it."

Once quiet, Negan sat in the rocking chair in the corner and looked her over. She had light brown hair, the curls sweaty and stuck to the face, her blue eyes and soft cheeks giving her an angelic face.

"You're a real looker huh? Bet you get away with whatever you want, dollface." He murmured, rocking the girl back and forth as he spoke. The girl babbled in response, her fist stuffed in her mouth as she peered up at the new face. Smiling at her, Negan brushed the hair from her face and drawled, "You gotta give your old man a break. You and you dumb brother are sending that poor prick to an early grave."

"I don't think you're supposed to cuss at babies." T-dog spoke from the doorway, his thick arms crossed as he leaned against the frame.

"Whatever. They like it."

"Didn't realize you were nanny material."

"Babies like me. It's the gravelly voice." He replied, deepening it more and making Judith giggle. "See."

T-dog chuckled at the sight and stood up straight. "Well, you ready to head out or are you going to apply to be their in house sitter."

"Pfft. Did you forget what I have waiting for me at home?" Negan drawled, standing up with the baby. Laying her down, the girl instantly became upset. "Now, dollface. I'm sorry I can't hold you all night. I got my own girl to go home to."

Huffing out a little whimper, Judith stood up and put her arms up telling the man her demands. Rolling his eyes, Negan picked her up and followed T-dog out to the living room. They found Rick and Carl sitting together, both talking quietly. As they entered, both Grimes men seemed surprised by the calm demeanor of the baby in Negan's arms.

"What? The ladies like me, don't they, sweetcheeks?" He drawled, bouncing Judith in his arms slightly. The girl giggled, her hands curling in his t-shirt. "See, this princess knows what's up, but unfortunately I gotta go."

Rick stood up and took his daughter from Negan's outstretched arms. "Thank you for bringing Carl home and calming her down."

"No problem." Negan replied, stepping back after handing her over.

"Have you talked to Kayla? She was at Shane's the last I heard."

"Yeah, yeah. We're uh... we're good."

"Wait?! You're with aunt Kay?" Carl gasped, his eyes jumping from his father to Negan.

"Yeah, I told you. The girls love me." Negan drawled, giving him a cocky smirk. "Aunt Kayla is all about me."

Rolling his eyes, Rick drawled, "Last I heard she'd kicked your ass to the curb. She wouldn't even talk about it."

"Well, I fucked up but it's all better now." Negan replied, pulling his jacket on. "So Carl I'll see you at try outs. We'll see if you can play worth shit."

"I'm not playing _baseball_."

"He'll be there." Rick replied, his hand stroking Judith's back as she began to fall asleep against his chest.

"Told ya." Negan grinned, tipping his chin towards Carl. "See you around, kid."

 

* * *

Negan entered his apartment, his eyes jumping around looking for Kayla. Finding the kitchen and living room empty, he walked quietly towards the bedroom. He was hoping he'd find her naked in his bed but as he peered into the dark bedroom, he found it empty as well. Huffing out a breath, he checked the bathroom but it to was absent of the cute brunette.

Scowling at the thought that she had left his place, despite saying she would wait for him, Negan wandered into his living room and sat down heavily on his sofa. Pulling his phone out, he typed out a quick text asking where she went.

As he waited for her response, he glanced out the window and looked over his neighbor's apartments. All were dark except the newlyweds with the baby, the dad wandering in a circle as the kid cried in his arms.

"Poor bastard." Negan grunted, his eyes landing on the mustachioed man's place. The whole unit was pitch black, until a small lit shone bright in the living room. Narrowing his eyes, he watched as what looked like a flashlight, lit up the area around the man's entertainment center. Standing up Negan felt a cold spike of fear go down his spine as his phone chimed in his hand and Kayla's text message came through.

" _Don't hate me. I'm looking for clues."_

" _What the fuck are you doing?!"_ Negan text back, his eyes jumping to the light across the courtyard.

"Jesus fucking Christ." He huffed, as he watched the shadowy shape of Kayla rooting around the strange man's apartment.

" _He left and I noticed the sliding glass door was open."_ She texted back after she searched the drawers to his desk. He felt his heart pounding hard against his ribs as she kept looking around the unit for whatever clues she thought she'd find. Texting her really quickly, Negan demanded, _"Get your ass out of there now! You got no idea when he'll be back."_

" _I found something!"_ her message announced just as movement in the courtyard caught Negan's attention. His chest clenched as he watched the man of the hour head towards the door leading to his apartment.

" _He's back. Get out now."_ He texted frantically, his eyes jumping to the long glass window to see Kayla's cellphone light flashing around the room. He could see her shoving drawers closed, she slid through the door and closed it. Negan was close to jumping off his balcony to get to her but watched as she swung a leg over the railing and escaped his patio before the apartment light came on. Ducking behind a shrub, Kayla stayed out of sight as the man entered his place, his eyes scanning the room, as if knowing someone had just been inside it.

Negan held his breath as the guy looked over his belongs, his eyes, critical and deciphering. He wandered to the patio door and slowly slid it open, his eyes flicking around the area for movement. Negan sunk into the shadows and ground his teeth, as the guy's eyes seemed to magnetically hook to Negan's patio, as if knowing Negan was standing there. Slowly the man retreated to his place, locking the door and pulling all the curtains closed. Negan didn't take a breath until the man was hidden behind the wall of cloth, his eyes instantly going to the area Kayla had hidden. He watched as she exited the shrub and headed towards his apartment.

When she returned to his place, Negan couldn't help but lose his shit over her reckless behavior.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing? Breaking and entering? What the fuck is your problem, doll?"

Kayla huffed out a breath, removing her jacket and tossing it on the couch. "I'm tired of waiting for the cops to figure this shit out. I want to know who did this to me and if they aren't going to, then I am."

Negan growled deeply, his hands roughly scrubbing his face. "Do you have any idea what could've happened to you, if he found out? Not only could you be arrested for committing a B 'n E but if he is the fucking murderer, you could be the next body turning up."

"Well I'm not caught and I found fucking evidence."

Negan sighed, "Oh yeah, what big piece of evidence did you find?"

Kayla pulled out a plastic bag with a piece of paper inside. The yellow sheet was torn and there was writing on one side. Written in very familiar handwriting the numbers 1313 was penned in blue ink. Negan felt his breath catch at the sight of the paper he'd shoved under the cat lady's door all that time ago, when she was searching for her cat. He'd pointed her in the direction of the mustached man. Suddenly his body felt cold and his chest heavy with guilt. The guy in apartment 1313 had killed the cat lady and it was all Negan's fault.


	14. Chapter 14

Negan sat down heavily on the black leather sofa, the amount of guilt he felt for a stranger's death, surprising him. Normally a very selfish man, Negan wasn't one to concern himself with the trials and tribulations of others, but this was something else entirely. He held the plastic bag and rubbed his mouth in thought, the idea that he'd caused the woman's death snagging his guts and twisting them up.

"It's my fault." He confessed, his dark eyes rising to meet Kayla's confused ones.

"What do you mean?"

"I wrote this... I... fucking fuck, I was just trying to help." Negan explained, setting the evidence on the coffee table, as though the thing was burning his fingertips. He half expected to see the numbers engraved in his skin like some kind of incriminating stigmata.

"I don't get it, Negan." Kayla replied, sitting next to him and placing her hand on his knee. Her expression was worried but comforting, the flecks of gold in her irises warming when he wove his fingers through hers.

"I wrote that when her cat went missing. I'd seen the guy pissed off, chasing the fucker off his patio. I thought... well that she should ask him. So, I put it under her door."

Kayla stared at him a moment before turning her gaze to the yellow sheet with his writing on it. "So... he did it. He killed her. That's proof."

Negan scrubbed his face and sighed, "Yeah, he must've fucking did it and I made it fucking happen."

"Negan." Kayla murmured, as he avoided her eyes and glared at the paper. "It's not your fault, he did it."

Scoffing at her excuses, Negan rolled his eyes to the ceiling and back. "But he wouldn't have, if I hadn't dumped her on his doorstep. Fucking Christ, I should've just strangled her myself."

"Hey, stop." Kayla growled, sitting forward as though making sure he was listening to her. "That's bullshit, it doesn't matter how she ended up there, that asshole did it. He chose to do it, now what we gotta focus on, is what the fuck we're going to do about it."

"Holy hell, I don't fucking know. The only evidence we have is shit you _stole_ after pulling some cat burglar bullshit and to top it off it's written in my handwriting. They won't give a flying fuckity fuck what we say." Negan ranted, adding. "Plus there's no way to know you even got it there because I could've written it today."

"Well, you saw the cat incidents and I remember those cops coming, asking about a note. They gotta know about it." Kayla was getting more and more frustrated, her cheeks flushing and hands raking through her hair.

"Yeah but there's no knowing if it's the same one. Doll, there's nothing we can do beside incriminate ourselves." Negan shuddered at the idea of being questioned by cops, the most likely outcome being, him getting locked up for sure. "I got a record, I can't be arrested again or I'm off to get ass fucked in prison. We can't do shit about this."

"We can't just, not do anything. Jesus Christ, he murdered that woman." Kayla pointed at the window, the woman's vacant apartment. "He could have attacked me. What if he was just interrupted by you? Maybe he was gonna kill me too."

Sighing deeply, Negan answered with his own ideas on who might have hurt her. "You said the guy talked to you. That he said 'he was taking what was taken from him.' That sounds personal, Kay. You never met this Simon fuck. I don't think he hurt you."

"Well he hurt her!" She exclaimed, rising to her feet to pace the room. "We gotta do something. We can't fucking just… _not_ stop him from doing it to some other person."

Negan groaned, tilting his head back, as he tried to think of a way to appease her, while not getting himself arrested.

"What if we talked to my brother? Shane could keep us out of it. Say it's just an anonymous tip."

"And how do we explain it to him? How I'm involved? How I knew shit went down between them? Oh well, I like to watch your sister dance in her underwear, while yanking my crank like some deviant _fuck,_ and I happened to notice he was a weird asshole."

Kayla snorted, her cheeks turning pink. "You saw me dancing?"

"Fuck, doll. I saw you do all kinds of kinky fucking shit. I spent ninety percent of my day with a boner that could club baby seals."

Kayla covered her face in embarrassment as he grinned widely, the mood turning somber again as they looked at each other.

"We gotta do something, Negan. If we don't, then we're gonna feel guilty as fuck."

"I already feel like a goddamn shitheel, sweetheart. I'm not sure I could be a bigger fuck up than I already am."

Kayla slid closer and touched his side gently, the cotton warming under her fingers. "You're not a fuck up."

Negan felt a deep pull inside for the woman gazing up at him with genuine affection. He knew he couldn't keep the dark horribleness that resided inside him from her. She deserved so much better, so much more. However, he wanted and needed her terribly and feared once she knew she'd turn tail and run the other way. He wouldn't blame her.

"I am. You just don't know me well enough." He rasped, his thumb stroking her arm and wrist.

"You need to stop." She murmured, her lids drooping slightly as he kept his fingers tracing the delicate bones stretched under her soft skin.

"What? Telling you the truth, I thought that's what chick's dug." Negan teased, his tongue swiping across his lip as she huffed like an angry kitten.

"Stop talking shit about yourself, it's bullshit. Whatever you did before, doesn't matter. It's the past, just don't make the same mistakes. You gotta let it go." She explained with a serious gaze before quipping, "Besides, it's a turn off."

Snorting as she smirked up at him, Negan reached out and stroked her neck gently. He traced the thrum of her heartbeat along the curve, the heat making his fingertips tingle. Humming deeply in thought, he purred, "Well, we don't want that."

"No we don't." Kayla breathed the words more than spoke them, her hazelnut eyes dipping to his mouth before rising to meet his own darkening gaze.

"Keep lookin' at me like that and I won't be able to stop myself." He threatened, swallowing thickly as his mouth watered in anticipation of tasting her.

"From doing what?" she retorted, her eyebrow rising in challenge.

Growling deeply at her words, he watched as the gravelly sound had her flushing under his hooded gaze. "Kissing the ever-loving-fuck out of you."

Licking her lip, Kayla replied softly, "That… doesn't sound so bad."

Carding a hand through her hair, Negan pulled her forward and slotted his mouth over hers. Her sweet tongue stroked along his bottom lip, causing a rumble to eminent through his broad chest, rattling his ribs and thrumming his sternum.

Negan's hands cupped her face and head, his long fingers curling into her hair to keep her from pulling away.

Delving into her, essences of Kayla flood his palate and hardened his cock. He wanted to bury himself inside her, while tonguing the back of her throat. The flickering of the possibilities made him yank her onto his lap, the woman squealing as he growled like beast.

Kayla straddled his thighs, her hips grinding against his crotch as he grabbed two handfuls of her ass.

"Fucking hell." He panted into her neck, as she raked her nails across his back and shoulders, while circling her hips seductively. "Baby, you're making it hard to go slow."

"I know I'm makin' it hard, Negan." She cooed, her tongue licking along his whisker covered jaw as she ground against his hardon. "I feel it."

"Fuck. Sugar, if you don't stop I'm gonna nut in my pants." He panted, his cement filled lids fluttering closed when she scraped her teeth across his jawbone, nipping the thick joint. Kayla was fucking him up more everyday, her hands reaching inside his chest and squeezing the blackened organ that resided there. Every time she touched him was better than the last, yet so much worse.

"That wouldn't be very comfortable, " Kayla drawled, her hand moving to his belt buckle to swiftly remove the leather barrier. Sinking a warm palm into his boxers, her slim fingers encircled the hot and hard flesh in a tight fist.

"Mother of _fucking_ fuck." Negan moaned, his head thrown back, as his hands clamped onto her thighs. "Goddamn, your hand's so fucking soft. I'm gonna fucking die."

Kayla laughed breathily in his ear, before curling her tongue behind the lobe, pulling it into her hot little mouth. His lungs hitched, a sharp gasp followed by a choking sound that would've embarrassed him if she hadn't been nipping and licking him into a frenzy.

"Oh, fuck sweetheart..."

"Yeah, baby?" She gasped when his hand slid around her ass to rub her core, his thick fingers pressing into the rough seam along her slit.

"Mm, like that." He growled, biting into her shoulder, as her hands twisted a delicious rhythm around his dick. Opening her zipper, Negan's hand dove down the back of her pants and underwear, cupping her pussy from behind. The moan she expelled when he sunk his middle finger inside her tight walls, had his dick twitching in her palms.

"Jesus, you're so goddamn tight." Negan muttered, against the warm curve of her collarbone. "and so fuckin' _wet_. Wanna fuck this little pussy."

"Oh god." Kayla groaned at the gruff filth he muttered into her ear, her walls clenching around his thick knuckles and rough plunges. "Ne- _gan_."

"Fuck yeah, I like you moaning my name, sweets. C'mon, let me hear you." He rasped, his lip dragging along her arched neck and salty skin. She smelled of his soap and her subtle sweat, the combination causing his dick to throb in her tight little hands.

"More." She demanded, her hips grinding onto his probing fingers.

Huffing out a feral growl, Negan sunk a second finger inside her, while thrusting his aching prick into her hands. Using his other fingers to rub her swollen hood and lips, he curled his fingers to press into the curved hollow hiding her g-spot.

"Jesus, it's like goddamn Niagara Falls in these panties."

A wild moan tore from her throat and her core sucked on his fingers gluttonously.

"That's it, cum all over my fucking thick fingers, sweetheart. Goddamn you're so hot."

Kayla hands stuttered their movements as she came, her grip flexing in rhythm with her walls clamping down on rough digits.

"Holy hell." He groaned at the feeling of her body clutching him desperately. Her head tilted backwards, elongating her neck and arching her tits. The sight was stunning. "You're so goddamn gorgeous when you cum."

When her eyes floated open, he watched as her huge pupils took over her lust filled eyes, the weighty gaze she held him with, clutched his heart in a vice like fist. He would do anything for the woman fucking his fingers greedily. Negan would scorch the earth and tear the stars from the heavens for her. God help anyone who crossed her because he would obliterate anyone stupid enough to harm the creature in his lap. If he found the man who almost killed her, Negan would beat them until every bone was dust and they ceased to exist.

"You gonna cum for me too?" her husky voice tugged him from his possessive stupor as her fingers twisted his insides up.

"Yeah." Negan rasped, leaning back in his seat to watch her talented hands work his dick into a weeping mess. "Fuck, you're fucking awesome at that."

Kayla smirked deviously, her tongue sliding across her bottom lip as she gazed at the swollen prick in her hands.

"God. _Look_. At. You." he growled, pulling her to his mouth to suck on her tongue and nip her lips. "Fuckin' dirty girl likes playing with my dick huh?"

"Yeah."

"Mhhm. Yeah you do. Bet you wanna suck it." He drawled wolfishly, his lips curling as she chuckled.

"Subtle."

"Right?" he huffed out a laugh as she slid down his body to her knees on the floor. "Shit doll. I was joking."

"No you weren't." she retorted without any malice, her hands continuing their ministrations.

"No I wasn't." Negan confessed, his head falling backwards as she took him down her throat without pause. "Holy fucking mother of fuck."

Her tongue was soft and wet, the tip curling along the underside of his dick as she bobbed. Negan thought he'd imagined what it would be like to see her pink lips stretched around his cock but the daydreams held nothing to the erotic sight before him. The slick pink skin circling the hard muscle was enough on its own to make him crumble but the heat and suction she applied had him turning into a whimpering pussy.

"Baby." He moaned, his fingers curling into her soft hair, barely holding onto his sanity. "Sweetheart, fuck me… too good. I can't-."

Humming along his swollen prick, Kayla stroked the base, as she licked and sucked the tip. Her eyes held his, as she began massaging his sack and tugging them gently, the sight and sensation pushing him off the razor edge he'd been straddling.

"Holy fuck." Negan snarled and his teeth snapped shut, as the throbbing ache in his loins combusted into a full-blown inferno. Cumming in long, hot pulses down her tight throat, Negan rocking his hips into her face. The woman sucked him down and swallowed, as he wilted into a gasping, sweaty mess. When he slid from her hot, wet mouth, Negan practically melted into a puddle of full-grown man.

"Jesus H. Christ." He panted, pulling her onto his lap to kiss her deep and hard, sucking his taste from her tongue. "You. are…. fucking _amazing_."

 

* * *

"So I met Carl." Negan commented, while watching Kayla cook, her hair tied up into a loose bun. He could see whisker burn along her neck and collarbone, the little red flecks showing off their activities from the night before.

"What? How?" she asked, glancing at him over her shoulder, while flipping the grilled cheese sandwich.

"That's what T needed me for. Picking up the kid in Atlanta."

"Jesus, what the hell was he doing in Atlanta? " Kayla exclaimed, sliding the food onto plates and grabbing paper towels.

"Running off with his girlfriend." Negan grunted, biting into his food hungrily.

Shaking her head, she sat down next to him at the kitchen island and explained, "He's been having issues since Lori died."

"When did it happen? Last I heard he was married and I show up there and find out Rick's a damn widower."

"Happened the day after I left here. Car wreck." She replied, chewing her food slowly. "We never got along, she was always too proper for me or maybe it was me who was too improper. Either way, Rick loved her and it's been hard for him and Carl."

"I can imagine. That baby's a dollface." Negan confessed, his neck heating as Kayla's eyes softened at his comment.

Smiling at him, Kayla asked, "You met Judy?"

"Yep, she's my kinda girl. A real looker and loud mouth." He teased, laughing gruffly as she elbowed him.

"Shush." Kayla laughed, biting into her sandwich and chewing through the smile still curling her lips. "So is Carl going to get involved with T's place?"

"Yeah, he's gonna come to try outs. If Rick get's him there that is."

Kayla nodded, setting her plate aside. "Yeah that might be an issue, he's not really giving a fuck about what his dad says. You want me to get him to do it?"

"Oh I don't know if he'll listen to you, doll. Rick told him we're…. dating?"

Snorting, Kayla nodded, "Yes we're dating, Negan. You don't think I give blow jobs to friends, do you?"

"Well, I sure fucking hope not but I don't know what you youngsters do."

"Oh, Jesus. Don't make yourself sound any older than you are by calling me a youngster. I'm not that young."

"Pfft. Younger than me. You realize I'm gonna have gray ball hair before you think about getting a wrinkle on that gorgeous face."

"Good thing I have that GILF fetish." Kayla quipped, her eyes glimmering in amusement. Negan bellowed, his head thrown back as she teased him.

"Oh, sweetheart." He sighed, shaking his head as she chuckled quietly. "You crack me the fuck up."

"Good." She replied, her lips softly curled into a smile. "That's the idea usually. I love your laugh."

"Oh yeah? What else do you love?"

Kayla's eyes dropped to the counter top, before rise back to his. The chocolate and amber of her eyes was mesmerizing, the heat in them causing his dick to thicken and twitch in his sweatpants. She turned slightly in her chair and replied, "I love a lot of things."

"Like what?" he rasped, his voice quieting as she continued to stare at him. "Well, obviously I find you very attractive."

"Obviously." He interrupted, flashing her boyish grin.

Rolling her eyes in response, Kayla snarked, "Yep, I love your humble attitude, also."

Laughing under his breath, he bit his lip and raised his eyebrows. "Go on, doll."

"I love a lot about you, Negan." She commented, sliding from her chair and collecting their plates. Negan could see a blush creeping up her neck and tinting her cheeks as she went, the man unable to pull his eyes from her as she moved to the sink. He wanted her to confess to feeling the same crazy shit he felt for her. Negan needed to know he wasn't the only one drowning in desire and aching with need.

"I love a lot about you." He confessed, his voice cautious.

"Like what?" She mocked him playfully, leaning against the counter top with crossed arms.

"I love the color pink you turn, when I tell you I want to bury my face in your pussy for days."

He smiled slowly as her flush came as expected, the rosy hue enough to make his dick throb but her bitten lip had him rising from his seat. Swaggering towards her, Negan watched the heat rush down her cleavage, disappearing into her soft cotton t-shirt.

"I love how tiny you are, yet strong as fuck." He murmured, his eyes flickering over her scars. "Not a lot of people would've survived what you did."

"I had people helping me." She replied softly, her eyes staring deeply in his. "You saved my life."

"I just returned the favor."

Kayla's mouth opened as though she were about to speak but it snapped shut. Shaking her head slightly, she smiled while tugging him closer. Leaning down, Negan nuzzled into her neck and braced both his hands on the counter by her hips. He locked her in place, as he kissed and sucked her neck, his tongue tasting her sweet skin.

"Negan." She sighed, her fingers curling into the fabric of his t-shirt. "You gotta go to work."

"Yeah." He grumbled, his mouth still moving along her delicate collarbone. Work was barely on his mind when in close proximity of the petite brunette in his arms. Not much made it's way to the surface of awareness when Kayla's fingertips were stroking his chest and shoulders.

"Fuck… Negan." She moaned breathlessly as a large hand slid under her shirt to cup her breast and roll her nipple between two fingers. "Baby, you gotta work. You can't be late after missing the first day."

Growling deeply, he dropped his hand to her hip and squeezed it tightly. He knew she was right but it didn't make pulling away any easier.

"Yeah. Fuck, you're right." Negan panted against her neck, kissing it once more.

"I'll be here when you get home."

"Home?" The idea that she could possible think of his place as home caused heat to roll through his body and fill his chest.

"Yes?"

"Like my home or… our home?" He asked cautiously, his thumb tracing her waistline as he stared deeply into her warm eyes.

"It's a little soon to be talking about moving in together." She spoke with a chuckle but it fell flat as he shook his head.

Now that the idea was out there, Negan couldn't help but think out loud. "Doll, you lived here after your injury and now you spend more than half your days here. Plus Shane probably wants his privacy back."

Kayla chewed her bottom lip in thought, her fingers curling in the t-shirt he wore as he combed hair from her temple to tuck behind her ear.

"I just…. I thought I'd get a new place." She explained with a shrug before looking at the floor as though embarrassed. "I couldn't go back to the old one."

Negan tipped her chin up with two fingers, his gaze softening as he explained, "I don't blame you for not wanting to go back but you don't need a new place. You got one… right here with me."


	15. Chapter 15

Negan sat down at his new desk, in his new office, at his new fucking job and sighed deeply. He hadn't realized how low his morale was until he walked into work for the first time in almost a year. Being fired from a job that, surprisingly enough Negan enjoyed, had been a huge blow to his ego. He knew he was a puffed up asshole most days, but having found work finally had him admitting to himself that the last year had been a blow to his self esteem.

The room was small, with space for a large L-shaped desk and a couple of chairs for visitors. There were a few generic posters for the programs and church events that T-dog was involved in. It wasn't anything fancy or special but it was his, which was more than he'd had the day before.

"How's the first day treatin' ya?" The deep voice asked from the doorway, his friend strolling in with a wide grin. "Settling in alright?"

"Yeah, it's been good. Uh... what's her name, in reception?"

"Amy."

"Yeah, she showed me around." Negan smirked at T-dog's scowl. "What, man? You got something to say?"

"Leave that girl alone, Negan. I know you. Don't do it."

"Holy hell, T." Negan exclaimed, chuckling at the man's serious face. "Get the fucking cross outta your ass. I didn't _do_ anything. I can't help if the ladies like me."

"I'm serious. You will get you're ass beat, man. Andrea is her sister. She's the lawyer who works with the kids with legal trouble. She will chew your ass up."

Rolling his eyes, Negan raked a hand through his hair. "Alright, for-fuck-sakes I'm not into banging teenagers. Jesus, you think that fucking low of me, _Theodore_."

"Fine. Okay, I'm just saying." T-dog replied, his hands rose in surrender.

"Well, shove those words back in that huge fucking mouth of yours and swallow them. I'm not the same guy I was." Negan drawled, his mind flicking back to that morning in the kitchen. Kayla was so goddamn beautiful all flustered and needy. He enjoyed being the one to make her cheeks flushed and lips swollen, it was a privilege. Negan wasn't about to ruin it by looking for easy side action with some little blonde with a serious case of 'fuck me eyes'. He wouldn't make the same mistakes.

'Hell fucking no!' He thought while tuning back into the conversation as T-dog asked, "So I guess things are going good with Kayla then?"

"Yeah." Negan drawled, an easy smile curling his lips at the sound of her name. "Things are awesome."

"Damn, you're in deep, man."

"I fucking love the hell out of her." He confessed with surprising ease, leaning back in his chair.

" _Ho_ -lee shit." The bald man exclaimed, siting down in one of the chairs. "Damn, man. How long you been datin'?"

"Not long but we knew each other before we started. Been through some tough shit already so it feels like longer, but not in some shitty 'I wish she still shaved her legs' kind of way. More like, 'it feels like I've always known you' kinda way. "

"Damn, that's great, Negan. Seriously, I'm happy for you."

"Thanks..." he rasped, a strange emotion rolling through him. Negan hadn't thought about it, or maybe he hadn't allowed himself to think about it but he hadn't processed what it meant for him to be in love with another woman. The overwhelming feeling surprised him at first, but Negan realized he was indeed grieving in a new way.

He lost Lucille a long time ago, far before her actual physical death. The beautiful, strong woman he'd fallen in love with died and he'd grieved deeply and thoroughly. It started the downward spiral that collapsed his life. Slowly he'd recovered and everyday the hurt turned into an ache, which dulled as time passed. He was far from over it, if that were even possible, but he'd thought he was passed the soul tearing pain of the loss.

Acknowledging the fact that he truly loved another woman, made him realize that Lucille was most definitely gone forever. Who she was, what she was to him, it was all over. He would never see her again, never kiss or hold, fuck or nuzzle. The pain in his chest intensified to the point where his lungs caught, but he restrained himself from releasing it.

Negan could tell T-dog was noticing his sudden demeanor change though, his friend leaning forward slightly to brace his elbows on his knees.

"You're allowed to move on."

"I know." Negan rasped, his voice cracking in a embarrassing way.

"Do you?" T-dog asked, his brows raising expectantly. "I don't think you want to let go, but you want to move on. Or at least part of you does."

"If I let go..." he began, his eyes sliding to the poster for the church fundraiser fair that weekend. Taking a steadying breath he explained. "Feels like I'm giving up on something."

"She's gone, brother. You're not givin' up on anythin'. You're survivin' like everybody else and the way we do that is by _moving on_. Love the ones you've lost but you can't stop from lovin' new people."

Negan swallowed the knot in his throat and collected himself. "Thanks."

"Sure thing. Look, you should bring her to the fair this weekend. I'd love to meet her."

"Yeah, I'll ask her. Might be nice."

Negan's phone began to ring in his jacket pocket, interrupting the conversation.

"I'll let you get that. I have a parent meeting in ten."

"See you later, T. Hey uh... thanks again for everything."

"None needed, brother." He drawled before heading out. Negan noticed the caller i.d. and answered with a sigh.

"Hey, Sherry."

Sherry wasted no time as she replied, "Don't ' _Hey Sherry'_ me, I haven't heard from you in days."

"Been busy." He grunted, leaning back in his office chair to prop his boots onto the corner of the desk.

"Busy drinking? Come on Negan."

Huffing out an irritated breath, he replied while rubbing his eyes with his thumb and forefinger, "Jesus, way to assume shit, Sher. No I haven't been fucking drinking... well much."

"Well you don't have the best track record, Negan." She scoffed, the sound of rustling fabric in the background as she muttered, "Put these in your dresser, Mads."

"Whatever, look I'm _sorry_ I haven't called. I've been working shit out and things are good right now, so get off my nuts." Rubbing his rough jaw, Negan thought about Kayla on her knees, her hands massaging said nuts while bobbing on his dick. Clenching his eyes shut, he held in a moan at the tantalizing memory.

"So, what's going on?" Sherry's voice cut through the filthy fantasy causing him to groan for a whole other reason.

"I'm at work for one." He snapped, his mood turning sour.

"Seriously? At the center?"

Scoffing at her question, he couldn't help but be an asshole, "No at fucking Seven-Eleven. I thought I'd start slinging slurpees and gasoline."

" _Negan_."

"Yes, at the fucking center." He laughed, his gaze landing on the poster for the fair. "We worked shit out and T forgave me for being a fuck up."

"Just don't do it again." Sherry scolded, the frown she wore almost audible.

"Gee whiz, I'll try mom." Negan simpered, his eyes rolling around his head like marbles.

"Just saying."

"Why the fuck does everybody keep 'just saying' me. Fuck, how about everyone just shuts the fuck up for once?" Negan drawled, rubbing his temple as a headache began to grow the longer the conversation continued.

"Fine, whatever."

Changing the subject, Negan aimed the topic at her rather than himself. "So, what's up? How're the rugrats?"

"They aren't rugrats anymore for one." She laughed.

"What-fucking-ever, how are they?" Negan huffed, leaning back even further in his chair as he stared blandly at the ceiling.

"They're good. Missing their father."

"How the fuck can they miss a dirt bag like him. It's not like he was around much to begin with." Negan never understood how Sherry could stand a limp dick asshole like Dwight. The guy was a loser and couldn't ever be counted on, to do anything but fuck things up. It irritated Negan to no end.

"He's their dad." Sherry muttered, her tone filled with sorrow.

"He's their sperm donor and a shit one at that. " Negan snorted, "You're lucky neither of them look like that shit weasel."

"Negan."

Rolling his eyes, Negan chuckled, "Okay, okay. Fine."

"The detective called me today." She informed, the subject making Negan sit up straighter. Dwight had warrants out for his arrest in connection with Sherry's reports of domestic abuse. To top off that shit storm, the guy was on parole and missing in action.

"And."

"They haven't found him yet. He's missed four check ins with his parole officer and there was a report of some liquor store robberies that match his description."

"Jesus, he's going all out. He doping again?"

"Probably." She spoke with a sigh. Negan could hear sniffling, which grated on his nerves if only because Dwight was causing it, as usual. "Doll, don't cry for that asshole."

"It's just... he's my husband." She whined, her voice cracking, "I fell in love with him, married him and had kids with him. I can't just... let him go."

"You've got to. He's not good for you. You know this."

"I just... miss him."

"He's been gone a long time, Sher." The words seemed to echo the conversation he just had with T-dog and he slowly realized, Sherry was probably grieving for her spouse and marriage much like he had. Dwight wasn't dead, though Negan would love changing that little fact, but the douchebag might as well be, with how present he was in his family's lives. For the first time, Negan began to understand how Sherry wouldn't let go of the guy who kept imploding their lives.

"I know."

Feeling almost guilty for never understanding her struggle, Negan offered, "Hey, how about you come to a thing this weekend. The church T works with is having a fundraiser fair. The kids will like it."

"Are you going?" She asked hesitatingly.

"Yeah, I think I am." he spoke gruffly, adding as casually as he could muster. "I'm gonna bring Kay, if she wants to go."

"Oh, so... you guys are working out?"

"Yeah, we're really good right now... surprisingly."

"That's awesome, Negan. Really." Sherry murmured, her voice softening in that way that had Negan cringing. It was too genuine and caring. It made Negan feel like shit for being an asshole all the time.

"Yeah, yeah." Negan huffed, scrubbing his face slightly in irritation.

"I'm serious and you know... Lucy would be happy for you."

"Don't." Negan growled, a sharp lance of pain cut through his chest at the nickname and statement. He couldn't think about what his deceased wife would think of him or his activities, it was too painful still.

"Well, she would. I know it."

"Fucking Christ, can we not have a conversation that doesn't make me want to shove my head in an oven? For-fucks-sake, I'm going to lose it soon, if you keep it up."

"Okay, fine. Look, thanks for the invite. Text me the details. I think the kids need a night out."

"Good. I'll send it to you."

"Alright, well have a good day at work."

"Oh I'll try and Sherry... if you see that fuck, you call the cops and call me. Maybe even in the opposite order because I'd love to find that fuck first." Negan grinned widely at the idea. "He's still owed a giant fucking ass whooping for laying a hand on you. I haven't fucking forgotten that shiner."

"Leave it for the cops."

"I keep leaving shit for the cops to do and guess what? Fuck all is happening." His mind trailing to the other unknown asshole wandering the streets after carving Kayla up like a Thanksgiving turkey.

"It'll happen when it's supposed to."

Scoffing loudly, Negan deadpanned, "So what, after he beats you again?"

"Goodbye Negan."

"Fine, just... take care of yourself alright. Lucille would crush my balls under one of her pointy heels if you ended up dead because of that weasely fuck."

" _Bye_ Negan."

"Bye Sherbear."

 

* * *

Negan stood at the edge of the basketball court and watched as a few of the kids played a game, their shoes squeaking on the newly finished floors as they ran back and forth.

"Pick up your fucking feet Ruiz!" Negan hollered, his narrowed eyes spotting the kid lazily making his way across the court without any hustle. "You playing ball or taking a stroll off to LazyAsFuckville?"

"Punta." The kid muttered under his breath as he jogged passed.

Negan smirked at the teen and drawled, "Don't call me your mother's pet names."

The kid exploded in irritation, charging at Negan with an angry scowl and clenched fists. "Don't fucking talk about my mom!"

"Slow your fucking roll, kid. I'm just busting your balls."

"Well, fuck you."

"There you go. Now you look alive and not like some dead zombie fuck wandering around the court."

The kid huffed out a breath before jogging back into the game, throwing a middle finger at Negan when he thought he wasn't looking. Chuckling under his breath, while sauntering down the length of the court he noticed Rick standing with Carl, the teen looking beyond disgruntled.

"There's the little outlaw." Negan drawled, his eyes sparkling as the kid glowered at him, his lanky arms crossed. "With the skies pissing all over today we're playing some hoops. How about you take over for Ruiz, he's about as motivated as you look."

"No."

"Wipe that pissy look on your face and play ball, while I talk to your old man." Negan ordered, his brows raised expectantly.

"Just say what you wanna say." Carl huffed, his mouth twisted into a sneer.

"Do I have to spell it out, dumbass?" Negan drawled with a cocky smirk. "Get lost while we talk about you and your shitty attitude."

Carl growled angrily before stomping away from the two men and towards the other teens.

"I should be pissed off at ya for talkin' t'my kid that way."

"Probably." Negan rasped, glancing over at the worn out looking deputy. "But you aren't."

"No, no I'm not." Rick laughed dryly, his hand tiredly rising to rub his face.

"I'd ask how you're doin', but I know you're fucking fucked right now."

"Oh yeah?"

"Been there without the kids, I think you're probably better off because you got shit to hold it together for, but that don't mean you aren't a fucking mess inside."

"Yeah." Rick croaked, his stoic face fracturing a moment before returning to something resembling controlled. "It ain't somethin' I'd recommend to anyone."

"Isn't that the fucking truth." Negan huffed, crossing his arms and watching as Carl spoke to a few kids on the edge of the court. He wasn't playing ball but he was at least socializing instead of pouting.

"How did you survive it?"

"Still surviving it, man." Negan grumbled, his dark gaze sliding to the other man's troubled one. Showing him mercy, Negan spoke honestly about the loss, "The sharp pain that's probably in your chest right now will fade and eventually it'll turn into an ache, something deep and constant like a rotten tooth."

"And after that?" Rick inquired, his hand scrubbing his jaw as he watched Carl from across the room.

"I'll let you know when it happens." Negan deadpanned, before whistling loudly. "Hey, Mason you shove him one more time and I'm yanking your mom's earring out of your nose and shoving it up your scrawny ass."

"Well, on that pleasant note, I'm gonna head out." Rick laughed gruffly.

"Yeah, uh we should be done in a couple hours."

"Alright, listen thanks for this... he needs it."

Snorting, Negan replied dryly, "I'm getting paid. No need for the reach around, _officer."_

 

* * *

Negan closed the door behind him softly, as he caught sight of Kayla in the kitchen with her back to him. He watched as she bounced around, her soft voice joining the melodic voice of Nina Simone playing on his stereo. Smirking as he sauntered closer, he felt his dick harden with every hip dip and sway, the woman's voice causing heat to trickle down his spine.

Negan wasn't positive, but he was pretty sure he'd never heard anything as sexy as Kayla crooning in his kitchen. Her husky voice blending with the bluesy sounds emanating from the speakers, drawing him closer.

Leaning a broad shoulder against the doorway, he smirked as she fumbled over the lyrics but kept going as she stirred the dish in the pan. Licking his bottom lip, Negan's eyes trailed down her body to focus on the luscious curve of her ass, watching while she swayed back and forth.

He was about to announce himself when she seemed to sense his presence and turned around. Jolting at the sudden appearance, Kayla gasped, "Jesus. You scared me."

"Sorry about that, sweetheart." He drawled, laying on the thicker accent to smooth things over. Negan knew she enjoyed the deep, gravel of his voice and secretly loved his pet names. "I couldn't help myself. You look so damn sexy dancin' around the kitchen."

"Yeah, well. Don't do that, it's dangerous."

"Dangerous, huh?" He rasped, swaggering closer to pull her into his chest. "You gonna smack me with your wooden spoon. Might be fun, a little flogging."

Giggling at his teasing words, Kayla curled her fingers into his jacket to pull him even closer. "Don't be a pervert."

"Oh, darlin'." He purred, his face dipping to kiss her neck and ear. "Were you under the fucking impression that I wasn't into some freaky deaky shit?"

Kayla started to chuckle under her breath but the sound turned into a gasp as he sucked her ear lobe into his hot mouth. "Negan."

"Yeah, babydoll?" He murmured, backing her into the counter to pin her with his hips. "I gotta say, the sound of my name in your mouth is almost as hot as when my dick was in it."

"Fuck." She moaned at the nips and bites he was leaving along her neck and exposed shoulder. Negan smirked as he went, the sounds only encouraging his movements. Sliding a hand under her shirt, he worked his fingers into her bra to feel the soft curves and tight puckered skin.

"Goddamn, you've got really nice titties." He grumbled, his hands yanking her shirt from her body while kissing the skin now exposed. "Fucking perfect, perky little handfuls."

"Don't call 'em little."

"Darlin', unless you got sweater puppies the size of basketballs, their gonna be little in these giant hands." He informed, splaying his large hands across her stomach and ribs to show her. "And, not sure if you heard but I also called 'em perfect."

Massaging and squeezing her creamy breasts, while kissing her deeply, Negan could feel his need for her increasing by the second. His breath became heavy and panted against her mouth and face, as hers hitched jaggedly.

"Baby." she gasped.

The nickname flipped some kind of feral switch inside, making him pick her up and sit her on the counter top, before tugging her pants down. Dropping to his knees, Negan pulled her to the edge and nuzzled his rough whisker covered mouth into the tiny, lacy scrap hiding her hot center.

Kayla's fingers curled around the edge of the counter, her legs spread wide by his large palms. Gazing up at her as his thumb traced the cleft visible through the pale lace, Negan watched as her head tipped back and her eyes fluttered closed. She was so damn beautiful all flustered.

"You've got a pretty little pussy too." He murmured, kissing the curve of her stomach and dip of her belly button. Brushing his nose across the seam between her legs, Negan mouthed her over the fabric with a deep groan. He could taste and smell the sweet, musky arousal through her panties.

"Oh, Negan." she moaned, her hand diving into his thick hair as he pulled the barrier out of the way to lick a long path up her slit.

"Yeah." Negan grunted, his tongue dipping inside while watching her stare back with a lax mouth. She was panting heavily as he worked, her eyes dark pits of desire. Grinning into her pussy, Negan began licking and sucking her into a frenzy, the woman's legs trembling. Throwing the unsteady limbs over his wide shoulders, Negan growled deeply as she pulled him closer with her calves.

"Good girl." He praised, his face burrowing into her to get to the source of the sweet fluid slicking her thighs.

"Oh fuck." She moaned, her entire body vibrating below his mouth and hands. "I'm gonna cum."

"Fuck yeah, you are." He mumbled into her soft, wet flesh as he sunk two fingers inside her with no hesitation. Curling them upwards, Negan began a steady pace of thrusts before adhering his hot mouth to her swelling hood. Sucking hard and fast, he felt the tension break inside her, opening a floodgate of curse words and heavenly tasting arousal.

"Negan." Kayla moaned, her head thrown back into the kitchen cabinet, as he refused to let up. Licking and sucking on her lips, Negan continued his assault on her willing flesh until she came again. The woman fell apart, while grinding onto his tongue, her thighs tightening around his neck to hold him hostage until she was done. Slowly he felt her body become loose, her limbs sliding from his shoulders as her hand began stroking his hair rather than pulling it out by the roots. Smirking into the hot cleft he'd just devoured, Negan peered up at her satisfied yet dazed expression.

"I think I'm dead." She rasped with a chuckle. "You killed me."

"Death via box eating." Negan supplied with a grin. "Fucking best way to go ever. Hell, I'd die a happy man buried face deep in your luscious twat."

Snorting, Kayla retorted, "You're so romantic."

"Hey, I just sucked the life out of your cute little clit, I think that's plenty romantic." He replied, climbing to his feet after smearing his soaked chin across her thighs with a grin. Rolling her eyes at the mess, she glanced at the pan of food left forgotten on the burner.

"It's ruined."

"Your goddamn right I ruined that pussy." He joked, "no one else will ever satisfy you again."

"Who says I want anyone else to try?" She retorted with a crooked smirk that had his zipper close to busting open. Negan stood between her legs, his hands stroking up her bare thighs to cup her waist. Brushing his thumbs softly across her belly and dipping between her thighs to stroke the soaked lips gently, Negan watched her mew at the attention.

"You saying you just want me?" He asked gruffly, his lips kissing along her jaw and behind her ear. "Because once you're _mine_ , there's no going back."

Kayla pulled back slightly, causing his heart to stutter and his breath to catch, as he waited for her to change her mind. Looking at her cautiously, he began to worry until she smiled and spoke words he never thought he'd hear.

"I'm already yours, dummy."

"Oh yeah?" He asked with a slow but cocky grin. "That before or after I tongue boxed the fuck out of your tight little pussy?"

"After. That was part of the interview."

"I made the cut?"

"You set the bar."

Grinning like a lunatic, Negan scooped her up as though she weighed nothing and began walking her to the bedroom. "In that case, lets see how high I can set that fucker."


	16. Chapter 16

"Get on the bed." He rasped, setting her down at the edge of the mattress. Stepping back, Negan relaxed into the armchair in the corner. He watched as Kayla shed the rest of her clothing, her eyes never leaving his, while climbing onto the bed. Licking his lips hungrily as her body was revealed, the soft skin of her thighs made his dick throb and her tight little peaks tipped in dusty rose had his mouth watering.

"I wanna watch you. Show me how you get yourself off." Negan drawled, his hooded eyes sliding down her arched body as she writhed on dark sheets. "Open up, sweetheart."

Kayla moaned at his words, her hands clutched her breasts as her knees parted for his viewing pleasure. Groaning at the sight of slick pink skin hidden between her soft lips, Negan began unbuckling his pants. He watched as one of Kayla's delicate hands stroked down her stomach with a purpose. Two fingers curled through her wet heat, smearing that liquid silk around her hood. She arched her neck mid moan, her tits thrusting into the air as her fingers sunk lower and deeper still.

Negan grasped his dick through his boxers, but soon shimmed his pants down to feel the heated skin. He groaned deeply, as he began pulling on his dick, while watching the erotic show. It was exactly what he'd always wanted to see when peeping on her, Kayla stripped bare and enjoying herself. Negan swiped his tongue across dry lips, as he panted at the gorgeous sight spread out before him.

"You're so fuckin' sexy."

"Shush." Kayla huffed, her cheeks turning pink at his praise and attention.

"No." He rasped, his head tilting to the side, to watch her other hand work her nipples into tight little points. "Sexiest fucking thing I've ever seen."

"I'm just touching myself." She murmured, her breath choppy as she began to dip her fingers inside. "Nothing special."

Growling at the words, Negan sat forward, his hand still gripping his dick. "Fuck no. This is more than special, doll. You doin' this... showing me this part of you, it means you trust me."

"I do trust you."

Negan groaned at her words, his hand stroking his dick a little bit quicker, as she began to twitch and spasm with hints of an oncoming orgasm. "That's it, darlin'. Show me."

"Negan." She sighed, her hips undulating off the bed and into her hand. "Close."

"Yeah you are. Fuck, I'm gonna cum just watching you."

Kayla plunged two fingers inside, while her other hand rubbed a fast pattern on her clit, her hooded eyes watching his own hand move with a quickened pace.

"God, you're beautiful." He growled, his hips rocking into his palm, as her mouthed dropped open and her back bowed from the mattress.

" _Ne-_." Kayla moaned, her body's tension snapping as her hands lost all coordination. He watched his girl writhe, clumsy fingers stroking in a jerky motion, as the climax had her losing control. Negan licked his lips at the sight of her wet fingers and damp inner thighs quivering. He could not have stopped himself from cumming if he'd even tried. Grunting at the last fisted thrust, Negan spilled all over his hand and stomach, his mouth lax and pupils blown. He watched as Kayla stretched and stroked her body, her eyes slightly dazed as she watched him cleaning up with a stray t-shirt.

"I like watching you cum." She remarked, her lips quirking to the side shyly.

"Fucking hell, that makes two of us." He rasped, shedding the pants around his ankles and the t-shirt sticking to his back. Crawling onto the bed to hover above her, Negan's fingers trailed along her curves and hollows.

"You're so sexy." He murmured, leaning down to kiss and nuzzle the dip of her hip and stomach. Kissing the warm skin below her breasts, Negan nipped the subtle curve of soft flesh. Kayla's deep moans let him know she enjoyed a bit of pleasurable pain.

"I want to watch you cum inside me." She confessed, her fingers walking up the center of his stomach, before curling into his chest hair and tugging.

"Holy hell." He grumbled, nuzzling into her neck as he yanked her legs to wrap around his waist. "You're gonna _get it_ if you keep talking like that."

"I want it." Kayla purred, her legs tightened, causing hard flesh to slide against her wet lips.

"Son of a fuck." Negan gasped, the wet heat had his dick swelling faster than ever before. "Tell me you're on the pill."

"IUD."

Negan groaned at the information, the idea of sliding inside her, without a dick numbing raincoat, had him rolling his desperate hips in between her legs.

"I'm clean." He mumbled against her neck, his breath held in his thudding chest, as he waited for her answer.

"Same." She gasped as the head of his dick slid into position. "Fu- _ck_."

"Yeah, we're about to."

"Please. Now." Kayla begged, her hips squirming underneath him as he teasingly pressed against her opening.

"You beggin' me?" Negan asked, his tone deepening as she pleaded.

"Yes, please." She moaned, her hooded eyes fluttering as he pressed just a bit further before retreating. Watching her writhe, had Negan ending his teasing session and pushing passed her tight walls, into her wet heat. The moan he released was straight out of a porno or a horror movie, the sound approaching painful.

"Doll." He whimpered as she swiveled her hips and clamped down in his swollen head. "So fucking tight, you're killin' me, baby."

"Fucking move or I will kill you, Negan." Kayla ordered, her nails biting into the tender skin of his ribs. "I can't take it anymore. Fuck me."

Growling at her desperate voice, he sat up to get leverage and to see her needy eyes. Spreading her legs to the mattress, he watched himself slowly plunge in and out of her gripping lips. Negan couldn't believe he was finally thrusting inside Kayla's sexy body, the sight becoming his new favorite of all time.

"God, are you always so wet?" He groaned, rolling his hips slow and hard to enjoy the smooth slickness coating his aching dick. "Like a goddamn slip 'n slide down here, baby."

Chuckling breathlessly, Kayla angled her hips to allow him to sink even further inside, making them both moan.

" _Jee_ -sus." Negan cursed, his eyes widening as he felt her sucking him in deeper. "So good, sweetheart."

"Negan." She gasped, bowing her body off the mattress to grind against his dick. "Fuck me, now."

Growling at her demand, Negan began a heavy-handed assault on her spread core, his dick plunging hard and deep. The slap of skin and heavy panting from both filled the room, as he began a punishing pace. His knee ached with the effort, but her deep moaning and wild eyes, had him giving her what she wanted.

"Cum, darlin'." Negan ordered breathlessly, the throbbing in his groin telling him, he wasn't lasting much longer. "Gotta, baby."

Pushing on his chest, Kayla panted, "Sit up."

Negan frowned at the direction but pulled back and sat against the headboard. Kayla climbed onto his lap and slowly sunk down his aching dick. Negan's fingers curled into the soft flesh of her hips, as she rolled and swiveled them seductively.

"Fuck." He gasped, his head tilting backwards when she began rising and falling onto his lap. "Oh baby. You fucking take dick _so_ _good_."

"Yeah?" She moaned, her body writhing as he thrust upwards, while pinning her down.

"Fuck yeah." He growled, planting his feet flat to give him leverage to plunge inside her. "Come on, ride that dick, baby."

Kayla moaned, while he pushed into her, her own body trembling as she began a fast rhythm of slamming her pussy atop his swollen cock. He could feel her walls fluttering, a constant clenching of her tight lips around him, as they fucked each other proper.

"Good fucking girl." Negan moaned hoarsely when she rose and fell at such a fast he thought he'd die of a coronary. Not that he would have minded in the least. He could feel her clamping down every time he spoke filthy words into her neck, her body revealing her kinks.

"You like when I say dirty fucking things to you." He murmured softly, his eyes flickering across her face as she moaned. "Like how fucking tight you are wrapped around my big dick."

"Yeah." She gasped, the soft hazelnut of her eyes nearly gone as her pupils widened.

"How I wanna fuck this little pussy raw."

"Fuck, Negan." Kayla moaned as he clutched her ass cheeks and rolled his hips into her roughly.

"Dirty girl." He growled, into her neck while nipping her gently. "She likes daddy fucking her, huh?"

Whimpering at his words, Kayla bucked against him erratically before cumming long and hard. He watched as her head fell back and her mouth dropped open to release a husky moan. The squeezing grip of fluttering walls had him panting heavily, his dick swelling after every ball numbing clench.

"Gonna cum in you." He threatened, his dark hooded eyes taking in the deep flush painting her chest and cheeks. "Tell me you want it."

"Fuck, I want it. Please."

Growling into her tits, Negan wrapped his long arms around her and flipped them over on the mattress. Pinning her down, he rocked into her with a steadily rising rhythm, grinding against her clit.

"Cum with me." He ordered, his voice hoarse and strained, as he barely held himself back. "Come on, baby girl."

Roughly snapping his hips, he felt her shuddered violently and heard the high-pitched whine rise in her throat as she came. Releasing his own guttural moan, Negan rutted as deep as her pliable body would allow. His dick throbbed as he filled her with long aching pulses, his vision blackening around the edges, as his lungs seized. Rocking into her soft curves, he felt his body becoming heavy and loose. Bracing himself from crushing her, Negan nuzzled his rough face into her breasts and collarbone, peppering her skin with whisker burn. Kayla sighed deeply, her hands raking through his hair, scratching along his scalp, causing shudders to run down his spine.

"My sweet, sexy girl." He mumbled into her mouth while savoring her tongue and lips. Negan's head was spinning at the feeling of her, his chest thudding hard and heavy. Nothing had ever felt as right, as Negan being buried inside the beautiful, amazing girl below him. Pressing his forehead against hers, "You're all mine now."

"I already was, handsome."

 

* * *

While walking through the fairgrounds, Negan couldn't stop looking at Kayla, her profile and the sexy curves he knew lie below her clothes. His mind kept shuffling through snapshots of the evenings they'd shared recently, hot and humid nights filled with throaty moans and greedy fingers. Kayla was the most tantalizing woman he'd ever known and he couldn't get enough of her. He was obsessed with the way her waist dipped dramatically and eventually swelled into the most biteable pair of tits he'd ever seen. He could suck and lick every inch of her and never get enough of her taste, all sweet and smooth as honey.

'Fucking sexy minx.' He thought with satisfied grin, his dick twitching like the pussy slave it was.

"You're going to poke someone's eye out with that thing." Kayla teased, her lips pulled up into a crooked smirk as they stopped their path around the fair.

Huffing out a laugh, Negan tugged her into his chest and rasped into her ear, "I'm going to spank the sass out of you later."

Giggling, Kayla kissed the underside of his jaw before pulling away at her name being called. Turning around after adjusting the monster awakening in his jeans, Negan grumbled inwardly, as Shane and Rick wandered towards them in their uniforms.

"You chucklefucks got promotions to park security huh?" He drawled with a shit eating grin, before coughing as Kayla elbowed him hard in the ribs. "Damn, doll. Easy on the ribs, I'm just bustin' their balls."

"We help out with crowd control and all the damn traffic through town. There's a DUI check point that we pick up for also." Rick informed, the man seemingly used to Negan fat mouth. Shane's eyes were still narrowed in irritation, his arms crossing, as he gave Negan a proper stare down. Snorting at the musclehead, Negan drawled, "Easy there chief, don't pop a vessel. I was fucking around."

As the tension grew annoying, he added begrudgingly, "We appreciate you guys helping out."

"We?"

"I work at the center."

"I told you, Shane. I took Carl the other day."

Shane furrowed his brow and grumbled, "You didn't say this asshole was working there."

"Hey!" Kayla and Negan both exclaim, before glancing at each other with amused expressions.

"Don't be a dick, Shane." Kayla huffed, her eyes just as narrowed as her brother's.

Rolling his eyes but relaxing his stance, Shane asked, "So how's things going, you haven't called in days."

Negan wished he could give him an honest response to what she'd been up to, "she's been busy sucking and fucking my fat one, piggy." Smirking at Kayla's stammered excuse, Negan could tell by Shane's glare that he knew what she'd been busy doing without even being told.

"Right." Shane grunted, his tone far from amused.

Negan listened as Kayla and Rick spoke about Judith and Carl but diverted his attention to the approaching trio. Sherry and her kids, both looked far more enthused than the last time he'd seen them.

"Hi." Sherry greeted, a shy smile curling her lips.

"Hey, Sher." He rasped, scrubbing his hand through her son's hair. "Hey kiddo, how's it hangin'?"

Scrunching his nose, the kid muttered, "How what's hangin?"

"Nevermind, baby." Sherry muttered, her mouth scowled, "Negan's just being a big comedian... as usual."

Rolling his eyes, he crouched down to look in Madeline's. "How's it goin', shortstack?"

Giggling at the nickname, the little girl with curls commented, "Good."

"Excellent." He rumbled, poking her in the stomach. "Now how much cotton candy do you think you can eat? I'm guessin' a truck load."

"No way!" she giggled, before bouncing on her toes. "Can I mom? Can I have cotton candy?"

"Well, now that Negan's mentioned." Sherry deadpanned while rolling her annoyed eyes. "Sure why not have a bunch of candy before bed."

"Exactly." Negan chuckled, his eyes playful as Sherry snorted. Pulling Kayla towards him, he introduced her. "This is Kayla. Kayla this is Sherry and her kids Maddie and Stevie."

Shaking Sherry's hand, Kayla then smiled at the kids and greeted, "Hey guys."

"What happened to your face?" Stevie asked with wide eyes.

Negan had to stop himself from cringing at the question, the words turning his spine to steel, as he waited from Kayla's reaction. They hadn't gone out often since her injuries, but Negan found himself surprised he'd never thought about what other people's reactions would be to the scars. Truthfully, he barely noticed them, other than to dream about finding the asshole who'd created them.

"Steven Oliver." Sherry gasped, pulling him back from the group. "I'm so sorry, he has no filter sometimes."

"It's okay." Kayla rasped, her eyes tense around the edges despite her closed lip smile. "They aren't exactly subtle."

Stepping closer to the boy, Kayla bent slightly to let him see the marks stretching across her cheek and jaw. "They're just scars. I had a... accident."

"Do they hurt?"

"Not too much."

Negan frowned at the statement, he hadn't been aware she was hurting at all anymore. Watching as Kayla crouched in front of the kid, her next words surprised him. "Do you want to touch it?"

Stevie looked back at his mom, who seemed hesitant but gave him a careful smile. "Up to you, Stevie."

Stepping forward, the kid raised a shaky hand and traced the line that followed her jaw with a slim finger. "It just feels like skin."

"Yep." She replied with a soft smile. "It's just thicker to make me all better."

"Cool." Stevie commented, stepping back to his mom's side. "Mom, can I make scars?"

Rolling her eyes, Sherry replied, "Yes but let's try to not do that okay? It's only for when you have accidents. You can't make them for fun."

"Alright." Her son sighed before smiling. "Hey that's the cops that came to the house that one time."

Kayla turned back to Rick and Shane, both men speaking to a group of fairgoers. "Oh… that's Rick and Shane. Shane's my brother and Rick's well… kind of a brother also."

"Oh!" Sherry responded, her eyes widening at the news. "They uh... helped me with something."

Smiling, Kayla commented, "They are both pretty good at that."

Negan threw an arm over Kayla's shoulder as the two officers wandered over to speak with them again. Bending slightly to speak into her ear, Negan murmured, "Sorry about the kid."

"No worries. I… I'm getting used to the stares." She muttered, flashing him a tense smile. Frowning at the statement, Negan grew angry that Kayla even had to get used to anything. She shouldn't have to wear the marks of violence on her face forever, nor should she have to explain it to strangers. If Negan had his way, he'd find the cowardice fuck that hurt her and string him up by his testicles.

"Mrs. Stewart, good to see you." Rick greeted, reaching out to shake her hand.

"Sherry please, Officer Grimes." She replied.

"Then just call me Rick."

"You can call me Shane." Kayla's brother offered, a crooked smile curling his lips. Negan's eyes narrowed at the tone and way Shane shook her hand a little too long for his liking. The guy was walking a thin edge by flirting with Sherry in front of Negan. He wasn't having that shit happen right in front of him.

"Okay, Shane." Sherry murmured, her cheeks pink under the officer's attention.

Growling under his breath, Negan felt Kayla's elbow nudge him as he glared at the other man.

"Easy there big guy." Kayla muttered, her lips twitching in amusement.

"If he thinks he's getting' his dick wet with Sher, he's got another thing comin'." Negan whispered in Kayla's ear. "She may be married to an asshole but she's still fuckin' married."

"Settle down." Kayla replied softly. "He's just flirting. It's what he does with anything with set of boobs."

Snorting at her dry tone, Negan kissed her temple and muttered into her ear, "Better be, because family dinners will be kinda awkward after I kick your brother's teeth in."

Turing his attention back to the others, Negan announced, "So enough with the chit-fucking-chatter. Who's riding that fuckin' whirly rocket thing and how much do you wanna bet you'll up-fucking-chuck after?"

"Language," Sherry muttered like a bad habit, her eyes rolling at his giant grin. "And no one is going on that deathtrap."

"Hey, now. We wouldn't have death traps here for the kids." T-dog exclaimed, his huge smile greeting them. Reaching out, he shook Sherry's hand and offered, "Name's Theodore, you can call me T or T-dog."

"Nice to meet you. I'm Sherry." she replied, placing a hand on her kids shoulders. "This is Maddie and Stevie."

"Ahh. Yeah, Negan's talked about you guys." T-dog commented, his grin widening. "I heard you got quite the arm, little man."

Stevie grinned, showing off his bicep. "Yeah, Uncle Negan said I got my swinging arm from my dad."

Negan grimaced at the comment the kid must have overhead while talking shit about Dwight. Sherry's deep frown caused something close to guilt to fill Negan's chest.

"On that note." He cleared his throat awkwardly, avoiding the tension that suddenly filled the area. "How about I take the kids around to play some games."

"You do that." Sherry growled, her arms crossing over her chest defensively.

"Don't get you're panties all twisted up Sherbear. You know I was just running my mouth."

"Yeah well, you need to shut your fat mouth once in awhile."

"Okay, okay." He huffed, reaching out for Madeline's hand. "Come on, shortstack. Let's see what kinda trouble we can get into."

"Yay!" she squealed, pulling on Negan's hand, as though she'd be able to move the giant, while pointing at the different tents. "I wanna win a stuffed animal. Will you win one for me, Uncle Negan?"

"Abso-fucking-lutely, dollface." He commented, glancing at the others. "Duty calls. Kay you wanna watch me kick some carnie ass?"

"Obviously." She replied matter-of-factly, stopping to give Shane and Rick hugs.

"See you later, Kay." Rick smiled, dipping his chin towards the others.

Negan glanced back after they headed down the rows of tents to see Shane and Sherry speaking, both wearing smiles and standing a little too close.

"Goddamnit." He grumbled, his eyes narrowing at the sight. "You're bother needs to keep it in his pants."

"Good luck with that, my brother hasn't kept it in his pants since grade school." Kayla replied, flashing him a teasing smile.

"Yeah, well. I'm going to tear off his beaver basher and beat him with it, if he lays a finger on her." Negan huffed, throwing a few bills at the carnie hustling them for money to take a throw at the stacked bowling pins.

Chuckling at his comment, Kayla rose on her toes and pecked his cheek. "Stop worrying and win the girl a teddy bear already. I'm beginning to think you're all fucking talk."

"Be careful, darlin'. I might just toss these balls at your pretty little face instead."

 

* * *

Negan stood with Shane, as Kayla and Sherry bought a few snack foods with the kids. Sliding his eyes from Kayla's luscious ass to the meathead standing next to him, Negan drawled, "You know she's married right?"

"Yeah, to a dirt bag." Shane scoffed, crossing his arms across his broad chest.

"Yeah the guy's a fucking douche nozzle but she's still fucking married. She doesn't need some fucknut who's just looking to get his rocks off."

"Who says I'm just lookin' to get off?" Shane grumbled, his dark set eyes moving to Negan's.

"I fucking know guys like you, man." Negan scoffed, his brows raising. "You're just looking to get your dick wet and in my humble fucking opinion, Sherry's to damn good for you."

"You don't know me."

"No, but I know guys like you. Fuck, I used to be a guy like you."

"So I can't change but you can?"

"I guess stranger fucking shit has happened, but she doesn't need some fucking guy sniffing around her skirt. She's dealing with enough bullshit."

"I think instead of you accusing me of shit, you should show me a little gratitude." Shane drawled, his eyebrow cocked arrogantly.

"Me, what the fuck do I need to be grateful to you for?" Negan scoffed.

"I may not know what caused your guys fallin' out but I know my sister."

Negan clenched his teeth shut at the man's words. "Yeah, well I fixed it."

"Maybe, but you broke her damn heart somehow and I should've stomped your ass into the ground for that shit." Shane drawled, crossing his arms as he watched the girls head back towards them. "Just know, you hurt Kay again and I'll find a nice quiet place to bury your dumb fucking ass. That clear?"

Grinding his teeth, Negan realized the shorter man had put him in his place. He had no room to accuse Shane of shit, when he'd just recently screwed the pooch with Kayla. "Crystal." He growled back, his narrowed eyes sliding to Shane's. "You hurt Sherry and I'll knock that stupid fucking haircut off your giant head."

"Noted."


	17. Chapter 17

Negan sat on the sofa, as Kayla peered out the window at Simon's place, the man being suspiciously absent of his apartment for the last few days. Negan wasn't too concerned, he'd much rather spend his time buried balls deep inside Kayla, than watch the strange mustached fuck across the courtyard.

"What do you think he's doing?" her voice muffled, as she gnawed on her thumbnail.

Rolling his eyes, Negan flipped a page in the Sports Illustrated he clearly read for the articles. "Who fucking knows, doll? Probably off buying wax for that killer stache."

"Negan, come on. He's been keeping really weird hours." She muttered, while peering out towards the parking lot.

"Weirder than your nocturnal stalker ass?" he snorted, tossing the magazine onto the coffee table.

"Shuddup, I'm not weird." She huffed, crossing her arms.

"You're the weirdest girl I know." Negan teased, licking his lip in amusement as she glared back.

"Well you don't know many girls then." she taunted back.

"Oh I know a lot of fucking girls." He tried to snag her wrist.

Glaring at him, Kayla asked, "Are you trying to make me jealous?"

"I don't know, is it working?" Negan asked with a sly grin.

"Yes. Its also pissing me off."

"Well I don't want that." Negan drawled pulling her closer. "How about we stop peeping for the night and fuck instead?"

"How about you finally admit that Simon is being weirder than normal." she offered, the woman was a dog with a bone.

Growling in frustration, Negan exclaimed, "Goddamnit I don't wanna talk about Pornstache anymore."

"Fine." she sighed loudly.

"Fine. Now C'mere."

"Nope."

"Kay, don't make me spank the sass out of you."

"Try it." she threatened, her lips twisting into an adorable smirk.

Negan growled deeply, tugging her onto his lap as she squealed. Tickling her until she begged for relief, he grinned at her as she lay strewn across his legs. Her hazelnut eyes gleamed from the laughing fit but slowly sobered.

"We need to prove he did it, Negan."

Groaning while scrubbing his face, Negan dropped his head back against the cushion. "We don't need to do anything. It's not our business. Let the cops do this shit."

"But-"

"No buts. Just let them do it, Kay. We don't need to get killed. No more breaking and entering. You lucked the fuck out, he could've found you or figured that shit out."

"He can't get away with it, Negan. And no one but us knows he had that paper."

"Kay."

"Don't, Kay me. You know we gotta do something. It's wrong to withhold it. We could tell Shane."

"Oh that'll go over well. Hey Shane I let your sister break into a possible murderers house."

 _"Let_ _Kay_?" She asked with a cocked eyebrow.

"Don't start." Negan warned, his finger wagging at her. "This ain't some control thing. I just want you safe."

"All I'm saying is, Olivia deserves justice. She can't just... be forgotten." The crack in Kayla's voice had his arm tightening around her and his argument vanishing. His girl had his balls in her back pocket.

"Fine." he grumbled, "We will tell Shane alright. Can we stop talking about this shit?"

"What do you wanna talk about?" She purred her fingers walking up his chest playfully.

"Your mouth and how it needs to be reacquainted with my dick." He growled, his hands tugging at her clothing.

Laughing at his crude words, Kayla kissed him gently and murmured, "Well, are you going to reintroduce me?"

 

* * *

Negan shouted at the teens rounding the bases, his voice bellowing encouragement as the other team floundered to deliver the ball to the umpire, before they hit home plate.

"Hustle, hustle, hustle." He hollered, clapping his hands as the ball came sailing towards the kid running for home.

"Safe." The umpire shouted, as the kid slid across the dirty plate.

"Fan- _fucking_ -tastic work, Diaz." Negan announced, slapping him on the back as they walked back to the other kids. "You might actually know how to play fucking ball."

"Puta." He spat out as Negan threw a charming grin his way.

"Remember what I said about your mother's pet names, Diaz." Negan chuckled as the teen fumed on the bench. Turning his attention back to the game, he took stock of who was on base and the next batter. The game was just between teens coming to the center, the group practicing for an upcoming bout between another city's youth program. Negan was making mental notes on who needed work and on what, when T-dog joined them on the field.

"Hey, T." Negan drawled, his narrowed eyes scanning the kids chatting in the outfield. "Hey, you ladies what to join the game or are you too busy talking about your prom dresses?" he shouted loudly.

Rolling their eyes, they got back into position, as another batter took the plate. Negan joined T-dog at the bench and asked, "What's up?"

"Nothin'. Just wanted to see how they were shaping up."

"Really? You aren't here to tell me to stop treating them like assholes?" Negan drawled with a laugh, his elbow bumping his friend's.

Chuckling deeply, T-dog shrugged his broad shoulder. "Hell, man. They need that type of shit. These kids are just as stubborn as you. Babyin' them don't work."

"Well, happy to help." Negan laughed, his gaze following the teen's playing ball and talking shit to each other.

"How's Kayla doing?"

Negan smirked at the question, remembering the petite brunette waking him up with open-mouthed kisses along his chest and neck. He'd pinned her down and eaten every pink, delicate fold until she squealed his name.

"Awww man, come on. Don't go lookin' like that when I ask about her, I _know_ what you're thinkin' about."

"Yeah, well then don't fucking ask." Negan sneered, his eyebrows hiked high and teeth flashing brightly. Shaking his bald head, T-dog motioned to the kids. "They look good, they winnin' this weekend?"

"I'd give it an eighty percent chance of us getting our balls crushed but more fucking surprising things have happened."

"Like you landing Kayla." T joked, his huge grin widening as Negan gave him the finger while scratching his temple.

"Asshole." Negan grumbled but couldn't help agree, Kayla was out of his goddamn league.

 

* * *

It was near seven by the time Negan was finishing up at the center, T-dog and the secretary the only others left. He was heading out when his phone rang, flashing the picture he took of Kayla biting into a monster cheeseburger. He chuckled as he saw it, his feet slowing as he answered.

"Hey there beautiful." He drawled, leaning his shoulder against the brightly colored wall.

"Where are you?" Kayla's voice was muffled through the speaker, her words rushed and panicked.

"At work, what's going on?" Negan asked, his back stiffening as he began moving down the hallway again. An unsettling feeling took over his body, his mind racing as he listened to her rasping breath.

"There's someone in the apartment." She spoke quietly, the sound almost covered by the sound of shuffling clothing.

Negan's eyes widened as he jogged to the exit door. He turned a corner and waved his hand at T-dog, where he stood at the registration desk.

"We gotta go. Amy call the sheriff, give them my address. Tell 'em Deputy Shane Walsh's sister is in trouble."

"What the hell's going on?" T-dog asked, jogging with him to the parking lot.

"Someone's in our apartment." Negan growled, his heavy feet pounding on the concrete as they headed to the old pickup truck.

"Where are you?" Negan asked Kayla, as he heard the sound of a door closing.

"I'm hiding in the closet." She whispered, her voice so quiet, Negan strained to hear her. The idea of her hiding in a closet from someone, who most likely aimed to hurt her, was strangling the life out of Negan. He gripped the phone in his hand tightly, the device creaking under the pressure.

"In the corner there's a baseball bat. Someone comes in, you swing until they stop moving, you hear me, Kay? Do not stop."

"Shh." She murmured before the line went silent except for the tiny rasp of her lungs. It sounded deafening in Negan's ear.

He couldn't breath as he sat on the edge of the seat waiting for something to happen. T-dog barreled down the roads with little regard to the traffic laws, the man flicking his eyes to Negan once in awhile as they travelled.

"Kay." He whispered, "Talk to me, darlin'."

"They're coming." Kayla rasped, her teeth chattering as adrenaline ran through her body. Negan choked on his next words, as the sound of the closet door sliding open came through the phone. The familiar creak, hitching his breath.

The rustle of fabric and the loud clatter of hanging clothing being ripped from the clothing rack had Negan growling, "Drive fucking faster now."

He heard curse words and the sound of a struggle, before the phone call ended, along with his heart.

"Jesus fucking Christ, man. Drive faster." Negan snarled, his hand gripping the dashboard as they took a turn going far too fast. T-dog growled back but ended up driving fast enough to squeal their tires obnoxiously. The apartment building came into focus moments later, a spread of police cars with their flashing red and blue lights filled the area.

The trucks tires bounced as they parked onto the curb, Negan jumping from the vehicle before it stopped fully. His knee screamed at his over exertion, the joint nearly buckling as he used the stairs rather than the ancient elevator.

His chest was heaving with both, his ragged breath and thundering heart, his core filled with the fear of finding Kayla bloodied again.

Bursting into the hallway, he found the police loitering and heard them calling for more assistance over their radios. They tried to stop him from entering his apartment, the men pushing on his chest.

"It's my place, my girlfriends in there." Negan snarled, shoving the officer's hands away.

"Sir, you can't go in, it's a crime scene."

"I swear to fuck." Negan growled but was interrupted by Shane's deep voice.

"Let 'im in, Stan. Jesus Christ."

Negan shouldered passed both men, his eyes frantic as he looked for Kayla. Stalking through the living room, he headed for the sounds of voices coming from the bedroom. Upon entering, Negan's eyes instantly went to the destruction strewn across the floor. The mirror over the dresser was shattered. The jagged shards glittered against the dark carpet. The most disconcerting sight however, was the spray of blood that decorated the taupe walls and curtains. Negan's chest compressed at the sight, his eyes jumping to the EMTs crouched over a body. His breathing stopped as he took in the pool of blood coming out from underneath it.

"Kay." He gasped, lurching towards the men applying bandages to an injury.

"Negan." Kayla rasped, her voice coming from the bathroom doorway, jolting him from his hurried path. Turning towards her, he found her looking rumpled and bruised but not dead, not dying. Scooping her up into his arms, Negan heard her groan in pain but couldn't loosen his grip. He rocked her back and forth. His eyes clenched so tightly, the tears trying to escape had no fucking chance.

His breath was panted into her scalp, as he kissed her temple over and over, whispering words of gratitude.

"Thank fuck, you're okay."

"I'm okay. He… I…" She stammered, shaking her head sharply as though trying to dislodge an unpleasant memory. "I think I killed him."

"Good." Negan growled, his hard eyes flickering to the body the men were now lifting onto a stretcher. He was a tall man, more lean than muscular, his clothing worn but not unclean. Negan shifted his eyes to the man's face and saw the blood had come from his face and head, the area thickly bandaged. Blonde hair stuck out under the bloodied gauze, the long strands looking far too familiar. Letting Kayla go, Negan strode over to the gurney as it was exiting, his hand grabbing onto the metal bar to halt their progress.

"We gotta go man." The EMT growled, tugging on the stretcher as Negan sneered down at the broken man.

"You weaselly motherfucker." He snarled, his hand tightening into a fist, while he ached to shove it down the unconscious man's throat.

"You know him?"

"Yeah I fuckin' know this prick alright." Negan growled, his gaze sliding over Dwight's battered face. "Save us all the trouble and lose this fucker in a ditch somewhere on the way to the hospital."

Turning back to Kayla he found her sitting on the edge of the bed, a female police officer taking her statement. Shane joined them shortly, his arms crossed thickly and his narrowed eyes on Negan.

He could feel the man's heated stare burning on the back of his neck, while they listened to Kayla detail the events of the evening.

"I heard someone open the front door when I was in the bedroom. I thought Negan was home at first, but he always texts first. I listened for a second and just knew it wasn't Negan so I called him. I told him what was happening and I hide in the closet."

"What time was that?"

"Around 7." Negan drawled, his hand holding up his phone with the call log visible.

"I will speak with you when we're done."

Growling under his breath, he listened as Kayla continued. "He found me and we fought. He got the phone and threw it across the room. I had the baseball bat…"

Shaking her head, Kayla sniffed back tears. "I didn't mean to kill him."

"He ain't dead." Shane drawled, adding under his breath. " _Yet_."

Negan glanced back and found Shane glaring at him, the dark eyes so similar to Kayla's, only far more aggressive.

Opting to leave that can of worms sealed, Negan turned his attention back to Kayla.

"He had a knife, he kept swinging at me and I tried to hit his hand.. I did but he.. he lunged forward and I just… hit him in the face and I just… c-couldn't stop. I… I didn't want him to cut me again… I wasn't gonna be hurt like that again so.. I just hit him and hit him until... he _stopped moving_."

Negan had slowly been sucking in air as the words spewed from her mouth, the feeling of dread slowly smothering him. He'd told her to do just that and he was happy he did, but he hadn't anticipated the emotional outcome of Kayla beating someone bloody. She wasn't a black-hearted asshole like he was. She would carry a great amount of guilt for maiming someone despite the person having done the same to her.

"You said cut you again? You recognize him from your previous attack?"

"His voice. " she shivered as she recalled his threats, "He wore a mask last time."

"Not this time?"

"I yanked it off when we fought."

"Do you recognize him?"

Shaking her head, she glanced at Negan, "I don't but it seems like Negan does."

The words would've sounded accusing from anyone else, but Kayla only sounded curious. Swallowing thickly, Negan drawled, "Am I allowed to speak now, _officer?"_

The tone wasn't needed but Negan was fuming at the knowledge of who and probably why Kayla was almost murdered _twice_.

It was his entire fucking fault.

Dwight had to be targeting her because of him. The men never got along, however, Negan recently convinced Sherry to finally file a police report about Dwight's abuse. Kayla's chilling words about the masked man's growled threats all those months ago made way more sense.

" _He said he was just taking what was taken from him."_

"Who is he and how do you know him?" the woman drawled, her eyes narrowing at Negan's tone.

"He's a worthless piece of shit." Negan growled back, "Dwight Stewart, he's a wife beating fuckface and my friend's husband. I finally got her to report him for hurting her, I guess he's pissed off."

Keeping his eyes on Kayla, Negan tried to silently beg for her forgiveness. In a surprising motion, Kayla reached out for his hand and tangled her fingers with his. He noticed blood drying in the creases of her knuckles and felt his throat tighten at the idea of her fighting for her life again.

"She needs to get to a hospital." Negan finally rasped, stepping forward to crouch in front of her scuffed knees. "Where are you hurt, baby?"

"The EMT looked her over, just cuts and bruises. We were getting a statement first."

"Well, you got it. Now we're fucking going." Negan growled, standing up to face the female officer.

"Sir we have protocol for violent crimes."

" _Officer_. You have a victim of two violet crimes needing medical attention, which I'm sure as shit sure would be priority number- _fucking_ -one on the violent fucking crimes _protocol_." He snarled, his finger pointing out the bedroom door. "I'm taking her to see a doctor. You can get the rest after."

Without waiting for any response, Negan helped Kayla to her feet and all but carried her out of the apartment. He bypassed other officers and crime scene personnel, before finding himself in the hallway heading towards the elevator. His limp was more pronounced after the running and carrying Kayla, but he couldn't find it in himself to let her go.

"Your knee babe." She rasped, her voice hoarse from crying and most likely screaming for help. Negan shook his head once, his voice gone and composure as sturdy as spun glass. He couldn't speak, nor know what he could say to the woman in his arms. All he knew was, that all of the pain recently in her life was traced back to him. He had caused her both physical and emotional pain, by not only violating her trust, but bringing Dwight to her doorstep.

Everything was his fault.

 

* * *

"Thanks for letting us stay here." Kayla murmured to Shane as Negan dropped two duffle bags of clothing onto the guest bed.

"You always got a place here, Kay." Shane spoke gruffly, his dark eyes sliding to Negan's. "You and I got a conversation to have."

Grumbling under his breath, Negan was about to snap back, when Kayla replied. "Can it be later, Shane? I just… I need to lay down and I don't wanna be alone right now."

Her brother softened instantly, his hand cupping her shoulder to reel her into a hug. "Yeah, sweetheart." Shane rumbled, his arms circling her tightly. "Glad you're alright."

"Me too." She muttered, while pulling away.

Shane left the couple alone but they only stared at each other for a long moment. The tension seemed to build from nowhere, the anxiety of the day slowly ratcheting up as they stood close but not touching. Slowly the need to hold and kiss her became too much, but Negan wasn't sure his touch was welcome. Opting to go with what he knew how to do, Negan suggested, "Should get you cleaned up and in bed."

"Will you help?" she asked, her voice exhausted.

"Of course." Negan drawled, his hand moving slowly to touch her face. There were bruises forming on her jawline and fingerprints on her neck. The sight of the broken blood vessels enraged him, the dark color pooling under the surface of her delicate skin.

"I want to kill the motherfucker." He growled, his fingertips tracing the shapes so subtly he wasn't sure if the scorching heat he felt was real.

"I thought I did."

They were quiet a moment, Negan slowly stroking her skin as her eyes fell shut. She rested her forehead against the center of his chest, the heavy weight of her body giving him an instant feeling of relief. She was alive.

Wrapping his arms around her petite shape, Negan cupped her head and sunk his nose into her scalp. He breathed her in with deep shuddered lungfuls, the emotions of the evening finally tugging him under. He could feel immense guilt filling his body, the aching self-hate replacing the marrow of his bones. A nauseating churning rumbled through his guts, the fear of losing her again crushing what little comfort her body gave him.

Buckling under the pressure of all the dark thoughts and suffocating regret, Negan collapsed onto the edge of the bed. Scooping her up, he rested her in his lap, thick arms wrapping her up into a tight hold. He ducked his head into her neck and took a few more steading breathes, before he murmured, "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For everything that's happened. It's all my fault."

Negan's eyes dropped shut as her fingers scraped along his scalp, her nails causing shivers down his spine. Curling around her, Negan soaked up her affection desperately.

"It's not your fault."

"All I do is turn things to shit."

"Shut up." She sighed, her forehead grinding into his collarbone. "That's not true."

"Doll, my whole life… everything good… I always ruin it. Always. I told you from the beginning. I'm not a good guy."

Kayla pulled back and ran her fingers through the short scruff taking over his jaw. "You're the best man I know."

"You need to get out more." Negan deadpanned, his forehead falling forward to rest against hers. Kayla smiled softly at him and retorted, "I would if you weren't so fucking clingy."

Snorting, Negan squeezed her even tighter, while nuzzling his rough whiskers into her cheek. Kayla laughed breathily, the sound turning him on, despite the situation. Sighing deeply, Negan pulled back and cupped her face. "I am sorry for this shit, doll. He wouldn't have done this… you wouldn't be.."

"A scarred mess?" she offered dryly.

Negan shook his head, his thumb tracing the healed lines cutting through her once smooth cheek. "You're not a mess and being scarred just means you're a survivor. Quitters don't get the privilege to wear a scar."

Kayla smirked at him, her eyes softening as he stroked her hair.

"Can I wash it?" he rasped, his fingers slowly combing through the dark tangled locks.

"Yeah." She sighed, the sound a little husky but also tired.

"C'mon, darlin'." He rasped, shifting her off his lap and towards the bathroom. "Get you clean and in bed. You need some real sleep."

 

* * *

Negan sat on the sofa after Kayla had fallen asleep hours before. He couldn't stop thinking and nothing, not even her soft shape could sooth the nerves scraping the underside of his skin. He wanted a drink, something strong enough to scorch the lining of his esophagus away. Something hot enough to melt the rock of guilt in his guts. No matter what Kayla said, Negan couldn't help but hate himself for bringing such pain into her life.

"What're you doin' up?" Shane's hoarse voice startled him out of his dark reverie.

Flicking his eyes away from the thousand yard staring contest he was having with the dark television screen, Negan replied just as gravelly. "Couldn't sleep."

"Yeah, me neither." He rasped, joining him in the living room. Slumping into a recliner, Shane scrubbed his face. He wore a faded police acedamy T-shirt, the lettering cracked and peeling. His hair was a wavy mess from the man's habit of raking agitated fingers through it. Kayla had the same problem, hers often tamed by braiding.

"She alright?"

"Better than the last time." Negan groaned, his hand rubbing his eyes roughly.

"He did this because of Sherry huh?' Shane drawled after a moment of tense silence.

Negan huffed out a breath, his arms crossing defensively even though he knew he deserved whatever blame Shane placed on his shoulders.

"Yeah. Fucking asshole couldn't come after me I guess. Too big of a pussy to try to take me out."

"I talked to Sherry earlier. I told her we found him and what happened."

Negan sighed, his head laying heavily against the sofa cushion. "Is she okay?"

"She's upset and wanted to talk to you. I told her you'd call her in the mornin'."

Nodding, Negan asked, "What happens now?"

"With that piece of shit?"

"Yeah."

"Well, if he wakes up and is not a vegetable, they'll charge him with attempted murder and a bunch of other shit. He'll never get out."

"Deserves to be strung up by his sack and beat to death."

"There's one thing we agree on."


	18. Chapter 18

Negan slid between the dark sheets, his hands seeking out Kayla, who lay curled into a ball. Pulling her into his chest, he smoothed his large hands over her back and legs, warming her cool skin with soothing passes.

"Mmm." She hummed deeply, her face burrowing into his neck, as he continued to rub and massage her little body.

"Feel good, darlin'?"

"Real good." She murmured, her hand curling into the front of his t-shirt. "More"

"You sure?" He asked softly, his gaze trailing over the bruises on her face and puffy red eyes. Negan wasn't too sure that having sex was in her best interest, she'd been through a traumatic event.

"I don't want to feel, what I'm feeling right now." Kayla confessed, her fingers twisting the hem of his shirt nervously.

Negan frowned at her wrinkled brow and dark eyes. "What're you feelin'?"

"Scared." She muttered.

"You're safe, sweetheart." Cupping her face, Negan combed her long bangs from her eyes and stroked her cheeks. "No one else is gonna hurt you."

"I can't shake the fear I felt inside that closet." She whispered, her eyes tearing up. "Please, make me feel somethin' else."

Growling at her pleas, Negan tugged her against his chest and crushed his mouth against hers. He dove inside the soft, wet heat, his tongue curling and twining with her's smoothly. If a distraction was what Kayla needed, Negan would give it to her. He could use one just as much as she did, the guilt of the events of the last year seemed to crush him at every turn. His wife's death, the first attack on Kayla, which left her scarred for life, the latest attempt on her life. Everything led back to Negan and it was almost impossible for him to breathe passed that rock that sat in his throat at the thought of all those things.

Sucking a slow path down her neck, to her breasts, Negan took each perky tip into his mouth and showed her just how much he adored her. His tongue sweeping along the delicate collarbone leading to her soft shoulder and arched neck. He moaned into her skin, as she curled around him, her core grinding against his aching dick.

"Fuck, baby." He groaned as she swirled her hips and clung to his back. "You need me inside you?"

"Very much so." She purred, her hands and feet pushing his pants down with fluid movements. "Deep inside."

"Fuck yes." He snarled, his hands tugging her down to his groin with a firm grasp. Negan sunk inside her with no finesse, his swollen head spreading her wide open with one thrust.

"Oh god!" she gasped, her head thrown back into the messy sheets.

"Yes." He hissed through clenched teeth, as her walls fluttered around the intrusion, her lips stretched tight around his base.

"More." She demanded, her body arching off the mattress. "Fuck me."

"Yes, dear." Negan grinned, before unleashing a barrage of deep thrusts into her tight core.

They moved in unison, their bodies grinding and rutting against each other, as fingers and hands curled into tacky skin. Negan could feel her heat soaking him, her wet walls slicking his dick and heating his loins. The desire inside him burned to a steady fire, a raging need to drive himself as deep as can be, as quickly as possible.

"Negan." She called out as he yanked her thighs over his broad shoulders, bending her in half to rock inside her. He ground his sharp hipbones into her pelvis, his hands grasping her ass cheeks as he stirred her pussy thoroughly.

"Cum for me, sweetheart." He moaned, his thumb brushing across her clit in tune to his thrusts. "Cum on my dick, baby."

"Yes!" Kayla moaned, her head thrusting back into the pillow, as he plunged inside her quivering walls. Negan could feel her body shattering below him, her knees tight around his neck as he fucked her hard and fast.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's it." He growled, biting her inner thighs as he kept thrusting hard and fast. "Give it to me, baby girl."

Her sudden intake of air and total body shiver signaled her impeding orgasm, his body thrumming with anticipation. As she writhed, Negan finally released his tenuous control and came long and hard inside her. She shook and trembled, her fingers biting into his thick arms as he rocked between her spread thighs.

"Mine." He murmured repeatedly, his dick pulsing to the point of pain. "Fucking mine."

They panted into each other's greedily mouths, lips and teeth consuming every inch of skin nearby. He could feel her fingers tracing his tattoos and tongue tasting the sweat beading along his hairline. Negan had never before felt the type of connection he felt with Kayla. Not even Lucille could shake him to his core the way the petite brunette could. That thought alone made him feel like the luckiest and most selfish asshole alive. He didn't deserve the love Lucille had given him and had wasted her time with lies and half-assed commitments. He wouldn't do it again, Kayla meant so much and he would work to his dying breath to deserve everything she gave him so willingly.

"I want to give you everything, sweetheart," he rasped, his lips brushing along the shell of her ear. "I love you more than anythin'."

"You do?" she murmured shyly, her hazelnut eyes widening. She smoothed her hands through his chest hair and onto his neck, where they twirled into the hair at the base of his neck.

"Of course I do." He replied gruffly, his chest rumbling at the pleasant feeling of her hands all over him. "For a long time now."

Kayla's lip pulled into an adorable crooked smirk. "I love you too."

"You do?" he copied her question, his lungs suddenly picking up in speed as he realize just how bad he'd needed to hear the words.

"Yeah."

"How much?" he asked, despite the embarrassment at the sheer desperation of the words.

"Very, very much." Kayla purred, her lips brushing along his scruffy jaw. "So much that sometimes… I can't think of anything else. You've become pretty fucking distracting."

"I apologize." He drawled, his lip twitching at the statement and coy look in her eyes. "Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?"

"Oh… I can think of a few _things_ you could do."

 

* * *

"The fuck do you mean, they're charging him with murder?" Negan asked as Shane sat with the couple in the living room.

"They think he's the one who killed Olivia."

"Why would he do that?"

"Who fucking knows, maybe he picked the wrong apartment looking for your dumbass." Shane huffed, crossing his arms. "All's I know is, they found the same type of rope used to strangle her, in his car and cat hair on his clothing."

Kayla looked at Negan with imploring eyes, the expression worrying her forehead obviously aimed at him. Sighing deeply, Negan muttered, "He didn't do it."

"And how the fuck would you know? You confessin'?"

"No." Negan growled, his hand tightening into a fist. Shane was tolerable most of the time, but eventually he had to be a dickhead. The worst part was, knowing how goddamn similar they were, both being sarcastic assholes. It was like arguing with a mirror.

"We have evidence it wasn't him." Kayla blurted, her bottom lip bitten between her teeth nervously. Shane's eyebrows shot up and he asked, "What evidence and _how_ the hell do you got it?"

Kayla rung her sweater sleeves, like a kid caught sneaking out to drink with the town hooligan, her cheeks flushing pink. Negan would tease the fuck out of her, if it weren't for the glare Shane was shanking him with.

"Enough with the fucking low brow bitchface, man." Negan drawled, reaching out to calm Kayla's twisting fingers. "Awhile ago I noticed the guy in 1313 had issues with the cat lady." Negan explained.

"The _cat_ lady?"

" _Yes_." Negan growled, "She had a fuckton of cats. I didn't know her name then. You wanna shut the fuck up now?"

"Proceed, _princess_." Shane sneered, waving his hand encouragingly. He flashed a sardonic smirk, the fucker prodding Negan with familiar honed methods.

"Her fucking cat would shit in his plants, it pissed him off and then mysteriously the cat ended up in the dryer like some fucked up rotisserie chicken."

"And you just saw this shit."

"Yeah, I was stuck in a chair with fuck all to do, alright?" Negan growled, his eyes daring him to pursue it. "Any- _fucking_ -ways. Olivia was looking for the cat forever and I knew he must've done something, so I slipped a note under her door telling her to ask him about it."

"Let me get this straight. You saw this cat shit in his tomatoes and assumed he offed it. So ya sneak on over and put a note under her door. What'd it say? Ol' Mac Donald did it because your cat shit in his salad."

"No. It said this." Kayla produced the ziploc bag with the scribbled note.

" _Okay_. And what does this prove? You say you wrote it and what it means but so what? You could've written this right before I sat down." He drawled, his eyes narrowing as he took in Kayla's guilty expression. "Where'd ya get this?"

Biting her lip, she squirmed under her brother's heavy glare, which ignited Negan's protective streak. Pulling her closer, he cocked his head slightly and growled, "Wanna lighten up on the stare down, man? She's your sister in case you forgot."

Shane sighed, his hand rubbing his face roughly before apologizing. "M'sorry, Kay. It's been a fucking crazy couple weeks... I thought we'd lost you when that call came in.. I just couldn't..."

Shaking his head, while rubbing the back of his neck, Kayla's brother drawled, "I only care about your safety and if you've been doing shit that is endangerin' yourself, I'm going to be angry, but we'll deal with it alright? Ya know how I am honey, I'm all mouth. Just tell me what happened."

"I had to know." She confessed, her eyes blinking through a heavy emotion. "She was dead and it seemed like he mighta done it and if that was true then maybe he was... maybe he cut me and I guess it's stupid now since he wasn't the one but I thought maybe at the time..."

"What'd you do?" Shane growled.

"I noticed he left his patio door open one afternoon. I... I knew his schedule sorta and well.. I took the opportunity." She shrugged at the statement, her nails bitten between her teeth.

"And you let her do this?" angry eyes met Negan's, the brother throwing off waves of disappointment.

"No." Negan snapped, his fist tightening at the assumption. "I wasn't home at the time. I came back and there she fucking was, inside the guy's place."

"Have you lost your damn mind, girl?"

"No. I just wanted to know who hurt me!" Kayla exclaimed, jumping from her seat to pace away from them. Her arms were thrown up and her finger pointed at the window accusingly. "I was sick of waiting for someone to figure it out. For someone to give a flying fuck about who _cut me up_."

The words were growled through clenched teeth and her hands were fisted. Negan had never seen the rage she was burning up with, the sight both troublesome and incredibly hot.

"I had to _do_ something. I couldn't just... sit and hope someone would help. So I went in there and looked around and I found that paper. I don't know why, but it caught my attention, so I brought it back and Negan recognized it."

"I saw Olivia go to his place and confront him after she found my note. He knew, that she knew he killed it." Negan added gruffly.

Shane sat staring at her for a long moment, before sighing deeply and scrubbing his face. Negan motioned for Kayla to come back to the sofa, his hand pulling her into his side as they waited for Shane's reaction.

"Okay, so you think that he did it because you found a note in his place, maybe she gave it to him when she confronted him?"

"Could be, but why would she do that? She'd want to keep it as evidence." Kayla asked, her brow furrowed. "He had to have taken it from her place after he killed her."

Shane sighed, rubbing his tired eyes. "Kay, they have evidence that Dwight did it. They got rope and cat hair."

"Yeah rope that anybody and their fucking mother's probably got in their garage." Negan huffed, his arm wrapping Kayla's shoulder as he said it.

"What about the cat hair?" the deputy asked, his eyebrows raised animatedly.

"Who knows? Could've picked it up anywhere." Kayla muttered, "Everybody's got a cat."

"I don't know guys, look this paper don't mean shit really. Not to mention you got it illegally so even if it does mean anything, it's not like we can submit it as evidence." Shane drawled, scratching his eyebrow in thought. "Look I will talk to Rick about it and see what he thinks. We could look into the guy and see if we find anything we can use to bring him in and see if he cracks. That's about all I can do."

Kayla growled slightly before sinking back into the sofa resignedly. "Okay, look I'm sorry I broke into his place, I just… I had to do something, Shane."

"I get it, but seriously, don't do that shit again. I'd really hate to arrest your ass for bein' stupid." Shane replied with a grin. "Supposed to be a law abiding citizen when ya got a cop for a brother."

"What's the point of having a cop brother if I cant get away with shit?" Kayla joked, her lip quirked up.

 

* * *

Sherry's name flashing on the caller id had Negan hesitating, before finally answering. "Hey Sher." He rasped, rubbing his eyes tiredly. "How're you holding up?"

"I… never mind me. H-how's Kayla?" she stammered, her voice cracking under the pressure.

"It's not your fault, Sher." He replied, the tremendous guilt he felt seemed to pale in comparison to the weight Sherry wanted to carry.

"He's my husband. My responsibility." Sherry spoke tightly, her breath rapid. "I should've known…. Should've seen _what_ he was…what he is."

"Sherry. Stop." Negan growled, his hand tightening on the phone with barely restrained rage. Dwight was not only the biggest asshole in the world, he was also the most conniving. Sherry was never going to forgive herself for her husband's actions because he had weaseled his way into her mind. Nothing was ever his fault, it was always hers for not having the ability to stop him.

"Everything he did, is on him. Nothing you did could've stopped him, Sherry. He's a shitbag and will always be a shitbag."

The woman sighed into the phone before asking, "Is she okay?"

"She's fine. A little bruised and shook up but she's okay. She doesn't blame you or anything either."

"She should."

"Yeah well, Kayla ain't one to do what she should. Get the fuck over it."

"Is that why you love her?"

The question seized his chest, the idea of acknowledging the fact to Sherry almost too much. She was a sister to Lucille and even though she'd always told him to move on, he wasn't so sure she would truly be okay with such a thing.

"It's a good thing Negan." Sherry seemed to sense his hesitation.

"I love her for a lot of reasons." He replied, licking his dry lips.

"You tell her?"

"Yeah."

"I'm proud of you." she spoke softly. "Lucy would be too."

"I don't know about that but… thank you."

"Just don't fuck it up."

Snorting at her words, Negan supplied, "I can't promise any-fucking-thing but I'm tryin'."

 

* * *

They moved back into their apartment after a week of guest room living at Shane's. The maintenance crew had repainted and recarpeted the bedroom, the splashes of blood wiped away as though never there. Negan couldn't say the same with the images that flashed before his eyes when they settled in for the night. It seemed they were both on edge, neither able to unwind easily. Negan opted to work on his laptop, while Kayla tried to get back into her yoga hobby.

The sight before him, twisted his nuts and stiffened his dick like nothing before.

Kayla lay spread out on a yoga mat in the living room, her tight little pants hiding not one goddamn thing. He could see the delicate folds between her legs and the soft curve of her cleft, as she lifted her ass up and arched her back. Her lithe little body stretched and pulled into seductive shapes, as he wrote out a few lesson plans for an upcoming practice. His eyes kept trailing over the long lines and dramatic curves, his mouth pooling and loins aching. Nothing could've stopped him as he rose from his chair and stepped up behind her perky ass, his fingers curling into the meat of her hips.

"Fucking cock tease." He growled as he tugged her against his groin, his hips rocking against her pert cheeks.

"Took you long enough." She gasped, rising to grind her ass against the stiff prick in his pants. Flipping her around, Negan dove into her mouth with vigor, his hands grasping for everything at once.

He backed her into the large plate glass window, his mouth devouring her, as she moaned hungrily. He gripped her hair and hip, his fingers roughly yanking her towards him, while shoving her into the slick surface. Kayla gasped as he flipped her around, his hips pinning hers to the transparent wall.

"I'm going to fuck you here." He growled into the back of her neck. "Where everybody can see you."

Her body trembled under him, her fingers digging into his forearms and ribs. "Right here?"

"Mmhmm." He rumbled, his tongue tracing the shell of her ear.

"Right now?"

Negan hummed deeply as he felt her grinding back into his aching dick, begging for it. "Right fucking now."

With a sharp tug, he rid her of the dick teasing yoga pants and barely there underwear. His hand dove between her thighs with no restraint, his fingers curling through the soaked folds while he ground his teeth viciously.

"Dirty fucking girl." He hissed through clenched teeth, his thumb brushing across her clit. "You're all lathered up."

"I can't help it. It's the t-shirt."

Glancing down at the holey band t-shirt, the cotton so thin it might as well be a dishrag. It was also his favorite and most worn article of clothing.

"Oh, this lil' ol' thing." He drawled thickly into her neck, his lips curling up as she giggled under him.

"You're fucking hot all scruffy and those damn glasses…. I can't even think straight." She huffed, her forehead pressing into the glass as he dipped his fingers inside her. The window fogged up around her face as she panted heavily, her body arching back into his fingers.

"I'm glad you think me being a lazy, stubborn fuck is so hot, sweets." He purred, nipping her neck.

"More." She moaned, her eyes flashing over her shoulder. "Please."

The sound of her pleas had his dick practically bursting its own way from his jeans and his hands scrambling to release the beast. Dropping his pants, while pulling her hips back enough to get the best angle, Negan pushed inside her tight core.

His fingers dug into her curves as he rocked into the scorching heat. "Fucking hell."

"Negan." She sighed, her hands pressed flat against the glass and her head thrown back as he thrust sharper and deeper.

"Yeah… there you are." Negan rumbled against her narrow neck, his hand curling around to roughly grasp her breast. "You like when I fuck you?"

"Yes."

"Yeah, you do." Negan growled, his hips starting a faster rhythm. The slap of skin and strangled moans reverberated off the glass in front of them, the reflection of Kayla's slack mouth ruining Negan's control. He ground himself inside her, his narrow hips pinning her to the window as his teeth and tongue destroyed the pale skin in front of him. Kayla cried out before shudders ran through her body, the deep plunges and harsh friction shoving her over the edge. She writhed against his swollen head, the drag of hot, slick flesh turning her into an animal.

"Fuck. I can't." he snarled into the messing chocolate locks in front of him, his fragile control snapping as her walls continued to flutter and clench. "Too hot and wet."

"Cum in me." she gasped, her ass wiggling underneath his grasp. "Please."

Snapping his hips rapidly and shallowly, Negan groaned into her sweaty temple. His dick pulsed inside her, thick streams filling her womb as they clutched each other.

Panting against the nape of her neck, Negan kissed and licked her affectionately as his fingers massaged the spots he'd gripped.

"Did I hurt you?" He rasped as he brushed his nose across her jawline, his whiskers reddening her skin much to his satisfaction. His mark all over her supple flesh.

"M'fine." Kayla breathed, her eyes peeking over her shoulder. "Felt good."

The dark court yard had faded into the background until a light blinked on in apartment 1313. The strange man's home catching both their attention. Negan pulled her closer to the curtains, his body wrapping her up protectively. As though Simon would hurt her through the layers of glass and brick.

"The fuck?" He grumbled as the man strode into his apartment with a huge suitcase in one hand and brown paper bag in the other. Kayla cocked her head out to see better, her fingers curling into the curtains.

"Is he leaving?" She murmured, her eyes flicking to his. Rolling his shoulders, Negan drawled, "Here's fucking hoping."

"We should follow him."

"Hell fucking no." Negan grunted, his eyes narrowing as he watched the man unpack a bag of groceries. The contents anything but pantry staples. Duct tape and rubber gloves could mean anything, the added cleaning products and garbage bags only increased his worry.

The man straightened up the living room, his unusual behavior twisting Negan's stomach. Something was about to happen and it seemed they both were holding their breathes for it. The man alerted to a sound at the front door and suddenly he was opening it to allow a petite gray haired female inside.

"Oh no." Kayla muttered, her hands twisting the fabric in her hands. "Negan. What do we do?"

"Nothing until something goes wrong. We can't do anything yet."

"We have to."

"Oh shit." She gasped, her body freezing solid underneath him.

"What.."

Negan tilted his head slightly to glimpse her face but realized she was looking at the couple in 1313. The woman visiting him was leaning against the door as he towered over her, his hand resting uncomfortably close to her neck.

"He's going to hurt her." She muttered before gasping as the man lunged forward, his mouth attaching to her face.

For a moment Negan prepared to call the police but noticed the woman was not fighting off his advances. In fact, she was climbing him like a fucking tree. Her fingers curled into his thinning hair and legs wrapped his narrow waist.

"Well… fuck." Negan muttered, a hoarse chuckle escaping his chest. "I guess she's down with mustache rides."

"I don't get it. He's so…. Creepy."

"Who knows, maybe from afar he just comes off as weirdo."

"I think we should watch to make sure he doesn't like.. turn all Cape Fear on her."

"Pervert." He rasped into her neck before nipping her sharply.

Kayla squeaked at the pain, her body thumping into the glass as she jumped in surprise. Negan glanced up as movement caught his eye, his gaze landing on the other man's apartment. The sight of the dark eyed weirdo staring back at him with a grim face, jolted Negan into action. Tugging them both out of the view, Negan cursed hoarsely as Kayla gasped.

"What happened?" She asked, her hands clutching onto his biceps.

"He saw us." Negan confessed, his troubled eyes landing on hers. "He knows we saw him with that woman. If he was going to do anything… we're witnesses now."


	19. Chapter 19

They barely slept, both Negan and Kayla tossing and turning with thoughts of the woman across the courtyard. Negan caught Kayla perched on the windowsill in the middle of the night. Her brow was furrowed as though concentrating enough would allow her to see through closed curtains. The lights had gone off at Simon's place long ago and no abnormal sounds could be heard from the patio.

Negan was half way convinced they were both batshit crazy for thinking the guy killed Olivia. He didn't want to keep watching his girlfriend obsess over the man, so near three in the morning Negan carried her forcibly to bed. An hour of his face buried between firm tits and soft thighs, they both passed out exhausted.

Morning brought unwarranted pain as the bright sunlight from the open curtains bounced off the white bedroom wall. Negan grumbled in irritation as he realized Kayla had left them open after her late night voyeurism.

"Too bright." She huffed, her head burrowing under the covers to hide her face into his chest. Negan scooped her up and encircled her with thick arms. "Someone left the curtains open after their peeping Tom fucking foolery." He rasped hoarsely, his chest vibrating with laughter when she smacked him.

"Shuddup and fix it." She grumbled, poking his ribs.

"Fuck." He grunted, "Fine."

Rolling from bed, Negan shuffled into the living room while scrubbing his face with both hands. He tripped over the edge of the rug and slammed his shin into the coffee table, making him curse a string of nonsense.

"Are you okay?" Kayla mumbled from her blanket cave.

"Just fucking dandy." Negan growled lowly, rubbing his shin bone as he reached the large expanse of glass. His eyes were of course drawn to the weirdo's window. Blinking a few times, Negan watched as Simon mopped his kitchen floor. Bright red was pooled in the center, the liquid spreading as he worked.

"What the fuck?" Negan muttered, ducking to the edge of the window to stay out of view.

"What?" Kayla exclaimed.

"Shh." Negan hissed back irrationally, as though Simon could hear her. There was a pattering of feet before she joined him in the shadow of the curtain.

"What's going on?" she whispered, her fingers curling into the flesh of his ribs. Negan smacked her clutching hands away and rasped, "He's cleaning up a rather suspicious puddle of red liquid."

"The fuck?" She exclaimed before practically throwing herself against the window to see.

Negan barely contained her behind the curtain as she gasped loudly. "Holy fuck. He killed her. He had to."

"Calm down. Maybe it's... paint?"

"Yeah paint. He's painting his fucking floors blood red. How modern of him." Kayla drawled sarcastically, crossing her arms.

Negan's eyes narrowed and he huffed, "Don't use that tone with me missy."

Kayla snorted obnoxiously and quipped, "Okay _Dad._ "

"That's Daddy to you." He drawled, wiggling his eyebrows and tugging her into his chest.

"Negan." Kayla growled pointing towards the courtyard. "Stop fucking around, we gotta do something before he gets rid of all the evidence."

"Fine. What do you want to do? Call the cops and say, while we were spying we saw him cleaning his kitchen."

"I'm calling Shane and telling him everything."

Negan frowned at the idea, but stayed silent as she spoke quickly to Shane. She explained the woman visiting, the strange red kitchen floor and the plethora of cleaning products the guy bought the day before.

"Shane says he can't do anything unless we see something more incriminating."

"I mean, I don't _want_ to say I told you so."

"Sure, asshat. That's your humble tone." Kayla scoffed, elbowing him playfully. Smirking at her frown, he offered, "Let's just see what happens then."

Negan watched as Simon rinsed the mop and returned it to the closet. He then entered his bedroom, returning with the large suitcase which he promptly exited his apartment with.

"What's he doing now?" Kayla asked, peering through the window to see the man's next move. They watched him head to the parking lot, the piece of luggage rolling cumbersomely behind him.

"Does that look like its full of something heavy?" Kayla asked, as the man struggled to drag it off the curb of the sidewalk to his vehicle. Negan frowned at the sight of the man heaving it into his trunk, the vehicle dipping at the weight.

"Could just be packed full of clothes..." he suggested, earning himself a scoff.

"Yeah, filled with body parts." She muttered as the man slammed the trunk shut and glanced around the area suspiciously. "That guy is shady as fuck."

"Being shady ain't a crime."

"Yeah but being a fucking murderer is."

"Obviously, but we don't know he is for sure."

"Don't act like I'm being crazy." Kayla snapped, moving away from him. "You keep dismissing everything, like I'm some dumb suspicious bitch."

Negan scowled at the statement, "No I don't. I'm here watching aren't it?"

"While insulting my intelligence."

"I'm not insulting anything. I'm just telling you what the cops will say. We don't know shit about shit, we're just jumping to conclusions." He explained, his eyes following her as she stomped to the kitchen.

"Whatever." She snapped, yanking the fridge open to remove a bottle of water. "Just keep burying your head in the sand. Hopefully the guy doesn't decide to take us out for seeing him last night. Lord knows you won't admit it until he's got some giant knife stuck in your back."

"No ones getting the fucking jump on me, Kay." Negan huffed, his eyes narrowing as she scoffed at him.

"Yeah, Whatever you say. You know everything and I know shit." Kayla sneered, grabbing her purse. "You know what, I gotta run some errands. You stay here and pretend like we both don't know that guy killed Olivia."

"Kay." Negan sighed, as she put her jacket on. "Don't leave like this."

"Like what? Pissed off?"

"Yeah."

"Well too fucking bad because I'm pissed off and I'm leaving."

The door slammed shut in Negan's face causing him to snarl angrily. "Goddamnit."

 

* * *

Shane peered out the window while Negan stood nearby, his eyes narrowed in thought. Shifting uncomfortably as the other man stayed silent, Negan couldn't help but begin to feel unease. He was pretty sure Kayla's brother was pissed that his sister was still involved in their makeshift investigation. Not that Negan blamed him, he himself was questioning the logic in chasing down a possible murderer with his girlfriend.

'If she's even your girlfriend anymore.' He muttered inwardly. The woman was still absent hours later, her angry departure still ringing in his ears.

"So how red is red?" Shane drawled, his eyes finally pulling from the closed curtain in Simon's apartment.

"Redder than a baboon's asscheeks." Negan replied, sitting down on the sofa as the other man paced a few steps around the living room. "It wasn't fucking Kool-Aid, that's for damn sure."

"Alright, well the best I can do is say there was a noise disturbance that I need to check up on it but once I do that… well if I don't find anything, I can't go knocking again without a reasonable doubt of finding a corpse on his couch." Shane offered, scrubbing his neck a few times. "I'm not getting canned for harassing a citizen."

"Will you be able to search his place with just a fake noise complaint?"

"Just a quick once over to see if there is anything suspicious." Shane replied, sitting down on the sofa while texting his partner. "I can play it off as a wellness check but after that I'll get my ass handed to me."

"Where's Kay?" Shane asked after a moment of silence, his eyebrow cocked at Negan's huffed breath.

"She's pissed at me, took off to run errands aka avoid me."

"Sounds about right." Her brother spoke with a wry grin. "Kay's got the Walsh temper."

"No shit Sherlock." Negan muttered, his eyes crinkling with worry. "I just hope she comes back."

"She'll be back, she's too goddamn stubborn to let you win an argument."

Chuckling, Negan rubbed his face with both hands and asked, "Are you heading over there now?"

"Rick's going to meet me here in a few and we'll head over. I can't promise anything but we'll see what we'll see."

 

* * *

Negan peered out the window from the edge of the curtain. He couldn't help but feel like an asshole. Not only was he watching the events unfold like it was entertainment, but Kayla was missing the action.

She still hadn't returned and Negan was growing worried that maybe he'd pushed her too far, maybe she would change her mind about him.

Shaking the notion from his head, he continued to watch as Shane and his partner Rick were let into the apartment across the court yard. Simon had shown up slightly after Shane texted his partner, the man sitting down to eat dinner. The three men stood in his living room chatting, the overall tone looking amicable. Shane wandered through the apartment, peeking in the closets, bedroom and ensuite. He glanced Negan's way for a second before he rejoined the men standing near the front door. Shane and his partner shook Simon's hand before exiting the apartment. Negan watched as Simon locked the door and stood there for a long moment as though he were thinking something over. He smoothed his hand over his mustache as he wandered through the apartment to the patio door. Negan felt a cold chill run up his spine as he watched Simon stand directly in front of his giant window and peer up at their apartment. A growing feeling of dread began to fill Negan's guts as he realized they'd tipped their hand. Simon knew who sent cops to his doorstep.

 

* * *

"Come on, Kay." Negan muttered, his arms crossed as he watched her shuffle around the kitchen that evening. "You gonna give me the silent treatment forever?"

"I'm not."

"But you're not saying anything."

"I don't have anything to say. I'm busy cooking you dinner." She replied, her haughty eyebrow raised.

Negan scoffed a breath out and drawled, "Don't play dumb sweetheart, it doesn't look good on you."

"You said everything looks good on me."

Negan grinned at her flirting, "Everything but lies. Now either get the yelling over with or fucking forgive me. This other fuckery isn't working."

"You shutting shit down?" She quipped, her lips twisted in amusement.

"Fuck yes, dollface." He murmured, cozying up to her back as she flipped the chicken in the frying pan. His arms wrapped her up, his hands curling into the soft curves of her petite body.

"Say you forgive me." Negan breathed into the soft scented flesh behind her ear. "Say it and I'll give you dessert before dinner."

"Fuck." She cursed as his fingers dipped between her thighs to pressed firmly against her clit.

"Baby girl." He encouraged, his other hand massaging her breast. "Say it."

"I forgive you." Kayla moaned, her head thrown back against his shoulder as his fingers cupped her tightly.

"Yeah, you do." Negan growled, raking his teeth up her neck gently. She was melting under his hands, her hips squirming against the weight of his body. "You want to cum, don't you?"

"Please."

Negan flipped the burner off and dragged her over to the kitchen table. He bent her over the edge, pressing a hand flat onto her upper back to hold her to the hard surface.

"Stay." He ordered, his feet kicking her legs apart after stripping her off her yoga pants.

"Negan." She sighed when his fingers trailed through the slick pink lips. Her body arched into his touch, goosebumps rippling across her skin.

"Such a dirty girl." Negan spoke into the nape of her neck, his digits teasing her opening. "I already got you dripping down your legs."

"Oh god." Kayla moaned, her head thrown back as he sank inside her with very little restraint. Her wet walls clung to him as he pushed into the snug opening, his balls tightening to the point of pain.

"Jesus fucking Christ." He groaned, his fingers curling into her hips to yank her back against his groin. "So goddamn tight. Fill you so good."

"Mmmhmm."

"Yeah I do, baby."

Every plunge scooted the table across the room, the screeching of the legs on tile ignored by both as they reveled in each other. Negan sucked a hot path along her shoulder and neck, his breathy rasp whispered into her scalp.

"So gorgeous. Look at you."

"Please."

"You need to cum, baby? You need me to get you there?"

"Always." Kayla moaned as he sped up, her fingers clutching the faux wood table. "More."

Snarling at her breathy pleas, Negan continued to piston inside her with little control. He groaned as she fluttered rapidly around him, her lips tightening around the base of his dick with every deep thrust.

"Fuck yeah."

Her body clutched him until he came in shuddered pulses inside her. Negan rocked his hips, stirring her pussy up as she milked him.

"Mmm. Baby. You're so good." He purred against her neck, his tongue tracing the shell of her ear. "So damn good."

"Dinner is ruined." She commented as they pulled apart and righted their clothes.

"Worth it?" Negan asked with a charming grin as he moved the table back in place.

"Always."

 

* * *

Negan glanced at the clock on the microwave again as he waited for Kayla to return from her doctors appointment. She told him it was just her annual checkup but he couldn't help but feel suspicious. He'd offered to take her, which she'd turned down, stating she didn't need a babysitter for a papsmear.

He didn't mention the irrational jealousy he had at someone else spelunking in his favorite lady cave, but he had expressed his upset at her doctor being a male.

"Negan, he's a doctor. If he's seen one vagina, he's seen them all. I doubt he'll be too excited to see another one."

It did little to suppress Negan's desire to follow her to her appointment and beat the ever loving fuck out of the guy probing his girlfriend. Now that she was running late, he could barely stop himself from leaving to search for her.

Picking up his phone, he called her again, hoping she'd finally answer. The line rang for a minute before it was sent to voicemail. Negan growled angrily, sending a text to her instead.

" _Where are you? Call me as soon as you see this."_

When nothing was returned, Negan began pacing the living room. His eyes were drawn to the apartment across the courtyard. The day before Shane and Rick had visited the resident weirdo. They'd reported nothing strange and when Shane was doing his once over, he'd seen a broken wine bottle in the garbage can. He was convinced the red liquid the couple had seen was nothing more than a spilled merlot. Negan wasn't too sure he believed him, but couldn't prove otherwise. The fact that Simon seemed to know they were responsible for the recent police harassment had Negan on edge. Now that Kayla was suddenly unreachable and running late, he was close to calling her brother.

Two hours later and Negan had yet to hear from Kayla. He'd watched apartment 1313 and noticed man had yet to return from work as he normally did. The man's change in schedule caused Negan to become even more on edge. After several more calls and texts to Kayla, Negan finally broke down and called Shane.

"Kayla's missing." He rasped as soon as Shane picked up.

"The fuck do you mean missing?"

"She had a doctors appointment this morning. She hasn't come back and isn't answering her phone."

"Maybe she's running errands or seeing a friend."

"Or maybe she's in trouble." Negan began, his eyes skimming the courtyard for any sign of the woman or the man who was still gone. "Maybe Simon-.."

"Don't fucking start with this Simon bullshit." Shane barked, as the sound of a car starting revved in the background. "I don't know why you two are hung up on the guy but there was no evidence of anything in his place."

"Look, he hasn't returned from work yet like normal and Kay's missing."

"Stop." Shane barked loudly in his ear. "You need to get your shit straight, Negan. Stop spying on your fucking neighbor. Now I'll try to locate Kayla, I know where her doc is, but you need to get a fucking grip."

Negan looked down to see the phone call was disconnected, Shane hanging up after his verbal lashing. Frowning at the device, Negan texted Kayla again in hopes her brother was right.

" _I swear to Christ, Kayla. Call me. I'm worried and your brothers being an asshole. Call me back. I love you."_

Sighing deeply, Negan sat down to try and calm himself down. There was a deep-seated feeling of dread still filling his guts. Something was going on and the fact that Shane no longer seemed to be on board with finding out was disconcerting for more than a few reasons. If he no longer believed them, Simon would get off scot-free with the murder of Olivia. Which also meant that they were in danger because not only was a killer running wild, but he knew, that they knew, he was a murderer.

When his phone rang, Negan all but jumped out of his skin. Shane's name flashed for a moment before Negan picked it up.

"Did you find her?" Negan rasped, his eyes narrowing as Shane's voice crackled through the phones speaker.

"You're right. Somethings happened to Kayla."

"What'd you mean?" Negan growled, jumping up from the couch to get his jacket on.

"I found her car at the doctor's office… her purse and phone are her and…"

"And what?" Negan's voice became low and hoarse as his worst fears began to come true.

"There's blood."


	20. Chapter 20

Negan paced in the sheriff's office, his hands raking through his disheveled hair as the panic just kept growing.

It had been seventy-two hours. Three fucking days since Kayla vanished into thin air.

Her phone and purse were found in her abandoned car inside the doctor complex parking garage. Whoever took her used brute force, leaving blood smeared across her steering wheel. Her doctor reported that she missed her appointment, putting her disappearance in a tiny window of opportunity. Detectives found footage of an older model van entering shortly after Kayla and parking on the same level. It left within twenty minutes of arriving, the vehicle was last seen turning right out of the parking garage. The plate came back as stolen from another state, the driver's face obscured by large sunglasses and hoodie. That was the last lead they had, all recent reports of a similar looking vans were dead ends.

Negan was at his wits end, the man close to cracking under the pressure of the loss. Her brother wasn't in much better shape, his wild eyes turning harsher after every hour.

Shane was blaming Negan and the boyfriend couldn't agree more. Everything happening was his fault. If he hadn't been spying, Kayla would never have been caught up in such a nightmare. God knows what was happening to her and it all rested on Negan's sagging shoulders. It was clear that Shane believed it, the man's gaze cut through Negan like razor wire.

"Ya need t'eat." Rick drawled from his seat behind the desk. "Won't be any good if ya passout when we get word on her whereabouts."

Negan glared at the police officer and rasped harshly, "In order to get word, there's got to be people looking."

"We're looking. Everybody's as concerned-."

"Don't finish that fucking sentence." Negan snarled, "Nobody's more concerned than I am!"

"It's not a competition, numbnuts." Shane snapped, his finger jabbing in Negan's direction. "If it was, you'd be fucking losin' because the only reason my baby sister is missin' is you, asshole."

"You don't think I blame myself?" Negan shouted, slamming his fist onto the desk in front of him. "You think I'm not tearing myself a new asshole for what's happening? You think I'm not-." Negan choked on the sentence and dug his nails into his palms to get control of his emotions.

"I think we all need to take a breath." Rick spoke from his seat, his arms crossed.

Shane's phone rang breaking the tension in the room, the man jumping from his seat as the voice informed him of something. Negan was on his heels as the man began striding out of the station.

"What's going on?" He asked as Shane tucked his phone away.

"Van sighting. Stay here."

"Fuck no."

"Fuck yes." Shane retorted, yanking the driver's side door open as Rick climbed into the passenger seat. "I'll call you with any news."

"I swear to fuck, I will steal a cop car and follow you." Negan growled, moving to the backdoor. "Don't make me, make you fill out more fucking paperwork today."

Shane glared at him before barking, "Just get in the goddamn car."

 

* * *

The late eighties van was sitting in an offsite parking lot for the airport, every surface wiped clean and vacuumed. Shane combed through every part of the vehicle, while Negan stood watching with a vacant hole in his chest. They'd all hoped that they would find Kayla at the end of the first solid lead. Now it seemed as though they were just grasping at straws.

"I got something." Rick's voice brought both troubled men from their stewing. Pinched between his gloved fingertips was a receipt, the service station not more than a few blocks away.

"Let's head there, talk to the owners. Canvas the area and look for any cameras that can help us out." Shane rattled off, pointing at a couple other cops hanging around. "You two, door to door for witnesses. Somebody saw something."

Negan followed the men to their car, his heart racing as they finally began making headway in finding his girl. Kayla was in grave danger and every minute she wasn't found was a minute she could be permanently ripped away from him.

Once driving, Rick began speaking. "Lewis checked on Simon's place again. He hasn't returned. I'm beginning to agree with Negan, Simon seems to be the likely suspect."

Shane growled under his breath, "Still his fucking fault."

"Fuck you." Negan barked loudly.

Shane nearly lost control of the car turning around to shout back in Negan's face. Rick grabbed the wheel to keep the vehicle steady and ordered them both to get their shit together.

"Kayla's gonna be pissed off if you kill each other, so can you please both lay it the fuck off!"

The car pulled into the tiny mini mart and all three men exited it within seconds. The pimpled-faced clerk stared at them wide-eyed, as Rick began asking questions about the mini van and it's driver.

The description given to them had Negan's blood boiling and heart racing, a tall man with a thick mustache and sketchy eyes. Shane was on the phone calling for a search warrant before they stepped out of the tiny shop and into the humid heat.

"We're getting close." Rick assured him, "I can feel it."

"All I feel is the need to rip this fuck to pieces with my bare-fucking-hands. I'm gonna tear his dick off and shove it down his throat if he's fucking touched a hair on her head." Negan spoke low and hoarse, his angry gaze following Shane's pacing form between the gas pumps.

"I think you'll have to get in line." The other man drawled, his expression just as troubled. "I've know him all his life, I've never seen him this…"

"Insane?"

"Just about." Rick muttered, watching as Shane approached. "We get it?"

"Yeah, it's in the works. Let's head to his apartment now, I'm not waiting."

"Shane-."

"I said, I'm not fucking waiting." Shane barked, his thick hand fisting Rick's shirt. "Every goddamn second could be the one this sick fuck kills my sister. I am. Not. Fucking. Waiting."

Negan couldn't agree more, his own chin tipping towards the car. "Let's fucking go then."

 

* * *

Negan paced the hallway outside of Simon's apartment, while the police tore the place apart. Shane had just kicked in the door when the warrant arrived, the man on a mission to find his sister.

Rick insisted on Negan's departure to keep the scene secure, no one wanted the man getting away from a bullshit technicality. For the last half hour, Negan kept his shit under control but he was slowly losing his tenuous grip on sanity.

Shane stalked out of the apartment suddenly, his eyes on fire and body thick with tension.

"He fucking knew the whole time." He growled, his hand holding up a plastic evidence bag. The small spy camera seemed innocuous enough until understanding thundered through Negan's mind. Simon had known of Kayla's breaking and entering all along. He had played the long game and used the time to plan whatever he had done to Kayla.

"He knew she was in his place. He's planned this for awhile."

"Shane, we got somethin'." Rick joined them in the hallway, in his gloved hands was a carved wood box. Negan peered into the open container and saw a few handfuls of random rings, necklaces and watches.

"Souvenirs." Shane muttered lowly, his pen slowly pulling out one necklace in particular out, the silver chain held a pedant in the shape of paw print with a calligraphic 'O' in the center.

"Olivia." Negan growled, his hands turning to fists. "I fucking told you he did it and now he's got Kay."

"Fuck you." Shane snarled slamming Negan into the wall denting the plaster. With no more patience and little control, Negan shoved the man back. He wanted to destroy something. Someone.

Rick pushed his way in between the two grappling with each other and shouted for help from other uniformed officers.

"Enough!" He snarled, his blue eyes as wild as the two fighting. "There isn't fucking time for this shit! Kayla _needs_ us. She needs our help and we can't do that while tearing each other apart."

Negan's chest was heaving as he still strained against the deputy holding him away from the raging bull of a man in front of him. Shane sneered back, his nose dripping blood from Negan's well placed elbow shot.

"Are you two done?"

Negan growled deeply in irritation but nodded just the same. "Yeah."

"Good. Now, where do we go from here?" Rick asked, the exhaustion in his voice mirroring Negan's own tired body.

"Officer Walsh." A voice spoke from the doorway, a keychain hanging from his fingertips. "I found something."

 

* * *

 _You-Store-It_ was a storage facility with long lines of outdoor storage units. The key that they found in Simon's apartment led them to a unit on the far end, tucked in a corner away from most traffic through the complex. Negan stood to the side as Shane unlocked the unit while Rick kept his gun drawn. There was no knowing what was on the other side of the metal rolling door.

Negan wasn't sure what he was more afraid of, finding Kayla inside or finding it empty. It wasn't until the door rattled open that he realized that there was something even bigger to fear.

Along the back wall stood two large white freezers, their motors running loudly in the somewhat vacant storage unit. Negan's blood ran cold at the sight of the appliances.

"Fuck." Shane cursed next to him, his hands flexing into fists as he struggled with facing just what was stored inside them.

"Let me, Shane." Rick drawled, "You shouldn't-."

"I'm opening them." Shane snarled, his fiery eyes sliding over the other man approaching the units. "If she's in there…. I have to do it."

Negan grabbed his arm as he walked towards them and rasped, "Together."

Shane clenched his jaw, but as he looked over Negan's wrecked expression, he nodded consent. Standing side by side, the men opened both units at the same time. A cloud of cold air escape, the fog misting up to reveal the contents of the freezers in front of them. Shane cursed under his breath at the sight of the body parts wrapped in plastic inside both freezers.

In front of Negan were similar shapes wrapped in thick plastic and secured with duct tape. The only way they could know if Kayla was inside would be a thorough investigation of the frozen human remains.

"Fuck." Negan growled, his hands clenching into fists as reality began to set in. They may never find Kayla alive, hell they might not find her at all if Simon had other places to hid bodies. The man obviously knew how to dissemble a body. There was no way of knowing if Kayla was just discarded somewhere else.

"We gotta open this shit up." Negan huffed, his eyes meeting Shane's. "We gotta know."

"We can't disturb the crime scene." Rick interjected, his mouth turning into a scowl. "The medical examiner is going to have to sort through and identify the bodies."

Shane growled low and deep, the frustration for the situation turning him into something feral. His eyes met Negan's and something seemed to snap inside him.

"Fuck that." Shane growled, pulling a utility knife out of his pocket before grabbing the first bundle wrapped in plastic.

"Shane!" Rick exclaimed, his hands reaching to keep his partner from ruining evidence. "You can't contaminate the scene."

"Fuck you, Rick!" Shane bellowed, shoving the man away while brandishing the knife. "If my sister is cut up into pieces in this fucking freezer I'm gonna know right fucking know. Anyone tries to fucking stop me and I'll bury this blade in your chest."

Negan stared wide-eyed at the man as he held his blade aggressively in his hand. Shane's attention turned to him and he growled, "You with me on this?"

Clenching his teeth, Negan nodded slowly before offering, "Could do just the… heads."

"Fuck." Rick cursed next to them, his hands gripping the back of his neck as he watched Shane reach for the first round shape. The gruesome task took close to an hour as the heads of thirteen women were pulled from the freezers. The sight was nightmare inducing, the memory of their horrific frozen faces would be forever branded in Negan's mind.

He was able to identify one as the woman who visited Simon the week prior, her short gray hair now matted with frozen blood. When the last skull was unwrapped, Negan felt some relief flood his body. As far as they could tell from the examination of the heads, Kayla was not inside the freezer.

"What now?" Negan asked hoarsely, throwing the rubber gloves Shane gave him away. He wasn't sure how he'd made it through the task of unwrapping corpse heads but the desire to shower was overwhelming.

"We need to scour this unit for hints on where he could be going. Something to point us towards Kayla."

"There's barely shit in here." Negan growled, his eyes going to the shelf containing storage boxes and milk crates.

"There has to be something. We have to find something." Shane growled, his eyes meeting Negan's. "There has to be."

The desperation in the man's face couldn't be overlooked. Negan knew he probably looked much the same.

Rick's voice interjected, "I called this in Shane, the examiner will be here soon so if there is any other tampering of evidence you want to get done, do it now."

"Fuck you, Rick." Shane snarled, pointing an angry finger at him. "You would do the same if it was your family."

"She is my family, Shane." Rick growled back, his eyes livid. "She's a sister to me too but we can't keep breaking the law claiming its for the greater good."

"Tell you what, Rick. The next time Carl is missing and you find a freezer full of body parts that might be him, I'll let you decide on how to proceed but otherwise, go fuck yourself." Shane's voice bellowed loudly in the storage unit, his body vibrating with tension. Stalking over to the shelving, Shane began tearing through the boxes looking for anything that could hint at where Simon could've gone.

Negan joined him, sliding on a new pair of rubber gloves as they sorted through old paperwork and junk. Most of it was garbage, some of it looked like items leftover from some other renter. It wasn't until Negan pulled out a frame photograph that they found a lead.

"I got something." Negan drawled, his voice pulling Shane's attention from the large plastic tote he was rummaging through.

"What?"

"A picture of the fucker." Negan revealed the photography, the image showing Simon standing on the deck of a boathouse holding a huge catfish. Next to the dock was a sign, " _Lake Baxton."_

"That lake is about thirty miles west of here. It used to be a summer camp area but it was closed down a couple decades ago." Rick offered over their shoulders. "I used to go fishing there with my grandpa back in the day."

Shane rose from his spot on the ground and held the framed photo in his hands, looking over the image critically. "This looks like a summer camp property. See the small cabins in the background."

Negan nodded, his eyes meeting Shane's as they had a silent conversation. Nodding once, Shane looked to Rick, "We're going. You stay here and wait for the examiner. If he finds anything else you call me."

"Shane." Rick started but stopped when the man looked at him caustically.

"If we find him up there, Rick, _you_ don't want to be there. I will not hesitate to kill him."

"Shane, don't do anything you'll regret."

"If this fuck is up there with Kayla, I won't regret anything I do to him." Shane sneered, his shoulders rolled forward aggressively. Negan stepped forward to possibly stop the men from fighting but felt exactly as Shane did. If Kayla was even remotely injured, Negan wouldn't hesitate to tear his limbs off and beat him to death with them.

 

* * *

Shane parked far away from the campgrounds, hiding his car from view of the cabins and lakefront. The men moved quietly through the woods looking for signs of life within the summer camp.

"What're we doin' if he's here?" Negan rasped next to Shane as they both crouched by a large pile of cut wood.

"We do what we have to do to find Kay. You can't handle it, then walk away now." Shane growled, his dark eyes sliding to Negan's. "If we find out she's-… this fucker isn't getting away."

Negan nodded, his hands balling into fists as he thought about just what he was willing to do, to find Kayla. The more he thought about it, the more he realized there wasn't much he _wouldn't_ do to find her. To protect her.

"There's someone here." Shane muttered, his finger pointing towards a cabin near the back of the summer camp. A light flickered inside, the shadow of a figure passed across the thin curtained window.

"How do you want to do this?" Negan asked, his eyes landing on the hand Shane was reaching out towards him. Sat in his palm was a small revolver.

"My back up piece. Just don't shoot unless you need to." Shane explained, his brows rising. "I'm assuming you know how to work one."

"The bullet comes out of this end right?" Negan deadpanned, his eyes narrowed irritably. "Of course I fucking know."

"Well, how would I know if you know how to operate a firearm? You could be a giant pussy for all I know." Shane rasped as they moved closer to the camp.

"Fuck you, asshole." Negan rumbled behind him, their shapes hidden by the elongating shadows of the heavy tree canopy.

"No thanks." The other man whispered, his eyes meeting Negan's as they sided up to the cabin. "Don't do anything stupid and if you accidentally shoot me, I'll kill you."

" _This next part is going to be real fun, sweetheart."_ A voice carried from inside, the statement turning Negan's stomach.

" _Fuck you."_ a hoarse voice replied, the sound was both uplifting and tortuous. Shane met Negan's eyes, the man's face turning steely as he recognized the voice. Kayla was alive and inside the cabin. It was as though all the tension left Negan's body, only to be multiplied when the situation sunk in.

They'd finally found Kayla but she was at the mercy of a serial killer. They had no way of knowing what condition she was in and no plan on how to save her.

"What now?" Negan rasped towards Shane, night falling around them quickly.

"We have to get eyes on what's happening. We can't rush in without knowing what he's doing to her. We can't give him enough time to kill her."


	21. Chapter 21

Negan peered through the edge of the curtain with gritted teeth. Inside the tiny cabin Simon paced a circle around a bound Kayla, her arms hung from a wood support beam. Her bare feet skimmed the ground as she hung limply by her wrists. The sight was soul crushing and if Shane hadn't held him in place, Negan would've barreled through the door with no hesitation.

"We need to split up." Shane whispered, his hard gaze pulled from the scene to look at Negan. "You go in the front, I'll go round back. Keep him distracted."

"What if he hurts her?" Negan rasped, his hand's screwing up into tights fists.

"He's already hurt her. We have to stop him from killing her." Shane replied evenly, checking his gun magazine yet again. "Just keep him focused on you."

"Fucking shit." Negan growled, his hand wrapped around the hilt of his borrowed piece. "If we fuck this up-."

"We won't." Shane growled, motioning to the front door. "Kick that in and keep your gun on him. I'll get him by surprise from behind."

Negan nodded, swallowing down his doubts and fears. The time for action had come. No one else was coming to save her. Negan and Shane were Kayla's last hope at surviving whatever the mad man had in store for her. If they didn't make the move immediately, she wouldn't survive the evening.

Negan was poised next to the front door silently counting down. He backed up to get enough momentum to bust the door down with one kick. Using his good leg, he prepared himself with a few steadying breathes before he brought a huge boot down against the door. The old wood splintered easily, the lock busting open to his heavy hit. His gun was up and aimed at Simon as he grabbed a limp Kayla, his body ducking behind her for cover.

"Don't fucking move you sick prick." Negan shouted, his gun following the man's movements. The bastard grinned like a lunatic at the sight of the barrel of Negan's gun, his moustache twitching above wide teeth.

"Well, well, well." Simon's cocky voice greeted him, "I've got to say, I did not expect to see you here."

"Yeah well surprise motherfucker, now step away from her before I shoot you in your big fucking mouth."

"I don't believe I will." Simon growled, his knife resting at Kayla's neck. Negan looked her over, the bruises littering her face were gruesome but the way she hung limply was what worried him the most. Her clothing was dirty and stained with blood. The fact that she wore clothing soothed some of Negan's worries about just what Simon's motivations were. He was a sadistic bastard but he didn't appear to be a rapists as well.

"She's been a real trooper." Simon commented, his grin widening at Negan's snarl. "She really knows how to take a hit."

"Fuck you." Negan seethed, his hand tightening on the grip of his gun, "step away from her you sick fuck."

"No need for the name calling _Negan._ " Simon drawled, his smile turning mean. "I mean at least I don't spy on people like some twisted pervert. Does she know you used to jerk it while watching her."

Negan clenched his teeth at the man's words, feeling the guilt for his earlier betrayal of Kayla's trust. He'd apologized of course and he felt terrible guilt for lying to her for so long.

"Yeah I know all about you." Simon drawled, his sliding around Kayla's stomach in a way that had Negan vibrating with tension. "and her."

"I don't give a fuck what you know." Negan snarled.

Simon grinned, his black eyes shining with amusement. "You know she kept asking for you when I rung her bell. She begged and begged."

"You're a real tough prick ain't you. Killing women like some weak bitch." Negan taunted, his dark eyes drilling into the man before him. "Can't fight the big boys, so you gotta pick on little girls."

"Fuck you." Simon growled, his knife digging into her neck. "There's nothing weak about holding a life in your hand and gutting it. Have you ever cut the head off a living body? It's hard work."

His handgun followed Simon's every move. He kept him in his sightline, his eyes avoiding the dark hallway behind him. Shane would be sneaking into the cabin and Negan wanted to keep the armed man occupied to prevent him from realizing it.

"Yeah, that sounds tough. It'll be even harder once I rip your fucking arms off and beat you with them. Now step away from her."

Rather than do as asked, Simon cut the ropes tying her to the ceiling and held her in front of him while backing up. Negan wanted to grin at the choice but held his scowl in place. The man with the mustache smirked as he moved away from the gun trained on him.

"You might as well put that gun to your head and pull the trigger because once she's dead I'm going to kill you too." Simon informed, his knife jabbing in Negan's direction as he hid behind Kayla's drooping head.

Negan was just about ready to try shooting the bastard when suddenly Simon halted his progress down the hallway.

The cocking of a gun sounded loud in the dimly lit cabin and Shane's hoarse voice followed it like thunder. "You actually think you're gonna walk away from this?"

Negan's mouth curled into a malicious grin as he watched the bottom drop out for Simon.

"You pissing your pants yet, asshole?" Negan sneered, his satisfied expression only darkening the killer's deep-set eyes.

"Drop the knife." Shane growled, his gun now resting at the back of his skull. "Now."

It felt like an eternity passed until Simon finally relented, tossing the blade aside. He kept hold of Kayla, his arm wrapping her stomach as the other grabbed her neck roughly.

"Give her to me." Negan growled, stepping forward with his gun pointing at Simon's face. "Now you twisted fuck."

Simon gripped her jaw tightly, his fingers digging into her bruised skin. "I'll snap her pretty neck. Try me."

Negan bared his teeth before pointing his gun at the man's knee and pulling the trigger. His scream cut through the loud ringing now filling Negan's ears. Simon let go of Kayla instantly as his leg buckled below him.

Negan scooped her up before she hit the wood floor, his arms folding her close to his chest. Shane dragged Simon to the center of the room by his collar. He gave the man a few brutal punches to the face and knees to the ribs as he subdued him.

Kayla was still unconscious, her bruised forehead bleeding from being hit with something solid. He held her tight to his chest, his eyes scanning her injuries and looking for any signs of life.

"How is she?" Shane growled over his shoulder, while yanking Simon's hands into a zip ties behind his back.

"She's out. Got lots of cuts. Probably a concussion if this bruise on her forehead means anything."

"Fucking princess is probably brain dead after that last round." Simon taunted, his bloody teeth gritting against the pain from his knee.

"That right?" Shane snarled, his boot stomping on the bloody gunshot wound. Simon screamed and writhed in pain as the irate man ground the broken bone and shattered cartilage viciously with his military boot.

"What was that you were sayin'?" Shane asked him angrily, gripping his thinning hair in a tight fist. "Keep talking shit, asshole. Keep fuckin' talkin'."

"Fuck you." Simon growled, "Just arrest me already you prick."

Negan looked at Shane as he began chuckling lowly. His raspy laugh was filled with malicious intent rather than amusement. Negan couldn't help but join him as he watched Simon begin to tremble on the ground.

"You actually think I'm gonna take you in?" Shane asked, his dark eyes going to Negan's. For a long moment the men had a silent conversation, Negan nodding in agreement to Shane's unasked question.

"Nah, I think we're gonna handle this shit ourselves."

"You're too chicken shit." Simon sneered, struggling with his cuffs as he began to realize just what the men intended to do.

"You see. That's where you're wrong." Shane drawled, flipping the man onto his back with a heavy kick in the ribs. Standing over him with a gun level to his chest, Shane spoke so calm and even that Negan felt a chill run up his spine.

"I'm going to kill you and I won't lose a night sleep about it."

"You don't have the cojones, pig." Simon groaned as Shane kicked him in the stomach.

Negan turned to the side to keep Kayla from seeing what was about to occur if she happened to wake up. His eyes met Shane's again when he glanced up before his gun went off, the man firing three rounds into Simon's chest.

Negan watched as Simon coughed up blood and choked on it, his eyes slowly fading as the gunshot wounds emptied his body of life. His eyes were wide in surprise to the bitter end.

"What an asshole." Negan muttered, his eyes going down to Kayla's resting face before returning to Shane's. "What now?"

"Now we call it in. When we busted in he had her a knife point, I had no choice but to shoot to save her."

"And the zip ties?" Negan asked.

"What zip ties?" Shane replied cutting the plastic binds and shoving them in his pocket. "No ones gonna look too fucking hard. This guy's a serial killer and I'm a fuckin' cop. We just did society a huge goddamn favor."

"Hey, you're preaching to choir. I'm just covering our asses."

"I've got this shit covered. You need to get her to the hospital. It'll take forever for a ambulance to get up these hills."

"You're staying?"

"Until everybody else arrives, I've got to secure the scene." Shane replied, taking the revolver from Negan's lower back. "Make sure you wash your hands. Ya got gunshot residue on your hands from shooting that prick."

"Alright."

Shane stood next Negan and looked over Kaya's bruised face, his still rage filled eyes meeting Negan's. "You take care of her or you're next. Got me?"

"Got it, man."

 

* * *

Negan sat next to Kayla's bed, his hand resting atop hers as he stared at her bruised eyes. She hadn't woken up once since he'd entered the cabin, her silence more than disconcerting. After the doctors ran toxicology reports, they'd found her full of sedatives. They were pumping her full of IV fluids to clear her system quicker but the combination of drugs and head injury had left her unconscious for the time being.

Despite the doctor's assurances that she was just sleeping off the traumas, Negan couldn't help but sit on the edge of his seat waiting for any signs of life.

"Hey handsome." A raspy shadow of Kayla's usual smooth voice jolted Negan from his thousand-yard stare.

"Kayla." He gasped, standing up to hover closer to her lying form. He cupped her face and smoothed his thumb across the tender skin. "Goddamn its good to see your eyes, darlin'."

"Mmm." She hummed sleepily, her eyes drooping as she scanned the room. "Where are we?"

"St Anthony's. How do you feel? Are you hurting?" he asked rapidly, creased eyes flicking over every inch of her.

"I'm okay.. sore but not too bad." She assured, patting his hand comfortingly.

"Tell me when it gets worse." Negan insisted, his fingers brushing hair from her bandaged forehead. Kayla swallowed thickly and asked, "Is he…?"

"He's never going to touch you again." Negan grit out through clenched teeth at the memory of the man holding her at knifepoint.

"Is he dead?"

"Yeah." Negan rasped, his eyes scanning her for upset. "What do you remember?"

Kayla sighed, her nose scrunching up in thought. "I remember being in the cabin. I was tied up and he kept hitting me. I… remember being carried through the woods but that's about it."

"Shane and me found you… He threatened you, so Shane shot him." Negan explained shortly, avoiding the real facts of what went down. He figured all she needed to know was that she was safe.

"Good." Kayla replied, grimacing as she shift in her bed to get comfortable.

"Hurting?" he asked instantly, his hand cupping her elbow to help her adjusted. "Let me call the nurse."

"Not yet." She murmured, her hand tugging at his leather jacket. "Just, come here."

Negan bowed closer, his forehead brushing her bandaged head slightly. "Yeah, doll?"

"I love you Negan."

"I love you too, sweetheart." He murmured, kissing her softly on her chapped lips. "I was so fucking scared I wasn't going to find you."

"How did you?"

"Long fucking story. Just happy we did."

"Me too."

The door opened quietly and revealed a very tired looking Shane. Negan dipped his head in greeting, backing away to allow Shane a spot to see his sister.

"Hey." Kayla murmured as Shane hugged her gently, his hand cupping her head.

"Scared the shit out of me little girl." Shane grumbled, brushing hair behind her ear as he looked over her injuries.

"Yeah, me too." She croaked, her eyes spilling over her bruised cheeks.

"You're safe now, Kay." Shane replied, kissing her forehead and temple repeatedly. "We got you, no ones hurtin' you again. Ya hear?"

"Yeah." She breathed, gripping his large hand between hers. "Thank you for finding me."

"Always, sweetheart. Always."

 

* * *

_"News of a serial killer shocked Kings county this week. The body parts of thirteen women were found in freezers in the You-Store-It storage facility on Monday. They were discovered in connection to a missing person case involving Sherriff Deputy Shane's Walsh's sister, Kayla Walsh. After being missing for several days, police officers followed the tips from CCTV and neighborhood witnesses to the burned out van seen at Ms. Walsh's last known location. After further investigation, they made the gruesome discovery of the unfortunate victims of the serial killer, now known as the Kings Killer. The man police say is responsible for these horrific crimes, 46-year-old Simon Garret._

_The victims were all female and ranged in age from 21 to 48. Their identities are currently being held from release until their families have been notified._

_Simon Garret was then tracked to the now closed Camp Shepard, located on Lake Baxton. Sherriff Deputys found the alleged serial killer holding a gravely injured Ms. Walsh prisoner. He was shot and pronounced dead by police officers after he refused to release his hostage._

_Ms. Walsh is recovering in St Anthony's hospital and is said to be in stable condition._

_We will have more on this gripping story at 6pm when we interview the detectives piecing this terrible crime together and the neighbors who lived next door to the Kings Killer. I'm Stacy Frazier and this was Kings County News."_

 

* * *

 

_6 months later_

 

Negan dropped the last box onto the kitchen counter with a groan. "Fucking finally. Jesus Christ I think every fucking muscle in my body is sprained."

"What do you think?" Kayla asked from her spot in the living room, her hands holding out a piece of artwork. "Would this look weird over the fireplace?"

"Sweetheart, you know the only things I give two shits about is a comfy sofa, a tv and a bed big enough to fuck you silly in. Hang whatever, wherever, darlin'."

"I know you don't care but an opinion would be nice." She huffed, setting the picture against the wall.

Negan smirked as she pouted, her hands thumbing through the other stacks of artwork. They'd bought a house near her brother's place, the neighborhood safe and quiet. After everything that had occurred in their apartment complex, the couple needed a change. They'd lived with Shane at first but eventually the walls began closing in.

Truthfully, two weeks in was more than enough time for Negan. He missed hearing Kayla scream his name every night, the walls far too thin to be as loud as they pleased. Shane was the most persistent cock blocker he'd ever met.

Negan sauntered across the room and slid his hands along her hips, curling his fingers into the soft curves. He pressed his mouth against her bare shoulder, the loose sweater hanging lopsidedly off her petite frame.

"This mine?" He asked, his hands sliding below the fabric to feel smooth skin stretching with new curves. Another reason for the relocation, parenthood was approaching swiftly. The news four months ago was surprising but as soon as Kayla showed him the plastic stick, Negan was as excited as a kid in a candy shop. He couldn't wait to meet the little fucker.

"Mmhm, all mine are getting too small." Kayla hummed, her ass squirming against the swelling shaped pressed between her cheeks. Gripping her hips, Negan moaned while bucking against her plush ass.

"Fuck, doll." He growled. "Can't wait to make you scream. No more muffling that shit."

"God yes." She moaned as his hand cupped her core, his fingers pressing circles against her clit.

"You wet, baby girl?" Negan asked, his gravelly voice deep and rough.

"Yes." Kayla gasped, her fingers curling into the fabric of his denim clad thighs as she squirmed against his fingers. "More, baby. Please?"

"Well, fuck doll. You know I can't say no when you beg me like that." He rasped, nuzzling his scruffy face into the soft curve of her neck. She smelled sweet and warm, the slight scent of sweat from moving all day had his dick aching. Negan pulled her leggings down while moving her towards the sofa.

"On you knees." He ordered, pushing her forward to kneel on the cushions. "Hold the back."

Negan pulled the sweater off, exposing her overflowing lacy bra. He pressed his chest against her back and cupped her swollen breasts, his thumbs brushing roughly across the hard tips.

"Fucking hell, these titties just keep getting sexier." He growled into her neck, his teeth nipping the soft skin hungrily. "They feel good, baby?"

"Yes." Kayla gasped, her hand reaching back to grip his hair. Her chest arched out, pressing further into his massaging hands and plucking fingers.

Negan growled low and rough as she writhed against his groin. "You want me inside you, doll?"

"So bad." She groaned at his probing fingers, two sliding inside her from behind.

"God fucking damn, Kay." Negan panted, his eyes falling closed at the feeling of her hot soaked folds clenching around his fingers. "You're a sopping mess, sweetheart."

"It's your fault." Kayla purred, looking over her shoulder as he unbuckled his pants. Negan licked his lips at the sight of her bent over, her ass wiggling in anticipation. Moisture was dripping down her inner thighs, her soft scent watering his tongue.

Gripping his dick in one hand, Negan held her still with the other while pressing teasingly against her opening.

"This what you want, baby?" He asked, dipping in a bit deeper with every rock of his hips. "You want this dick?"

"Yes. Please. Negan."

With no more hesitation, Negan sunk deep inside her welcoming walls with a throaty groan. He could feel every supple ripple inside her as he pushed and pulled her onto his throbbing dick. Kayla panted into the back of the sofa, her hands clutching the pillows as Negan pumped into her.

"That's it." He growled, his hips snapping sharply as she clenched around his dick. "Gonna cum for me like a good girl?"

"Yes. Oh… yes. Neeegan" She keened, her hips rocking in tight circles as he fucked her deeper.

"Holy hell." He panted, his toes curling into the carpet as he felt her cum long and hard around his dick. "Jesus, doll. I can't-"

"Cum, Negan." She panted, peeking over her bare shoulder. "Please."

A growl erupted from his throat as he pumped hard and deep inside her tight walls. He could barely stay standing as she fluttered and clenched around his swelling head.

"Shit." Negan snarled as the last bit of control he had snapped at the feeling of her core flooding with more arousal as she came a second time. His dick pulsed and throbbed, his hips snapping with little rhythm as he filled her full. He shot his load deep, his hips rocking through his orgasm.

Slowly pulling himself from her, Negan collapsed onto the sofa. He tugged Kayla into his lap, snuggling his scruffy face into her neck while wrapping his long arms around her. She nuzzled into his chest, her mouth moving along his collarbone and jaw.

"So good." She purred, her teeth scraping across his neck. "You make me feel so good."

Negan hummed deeply at the statement, pulling back to peer down at her. "You too, darlin'."

The couple settled together on the sofa, both slowly catching their breath as they relaxed in each other's arms.

Kayla sighed peacefully, her hand resting on the tattoo on Negan's chest. He'd gotten it a few months ago, the traditional style heart featured a scrolled banner with the name of the girl who held his own heart in her hands. Kayla was surprised to see her name on his chest but had not let a day go passed without touching it or kissing it as some point. Negan was thinking about getting even more to encourage the behavior.

Kayla nuzzled her face into his neck and murmured, "This is nice."

"Yeah it is." Negan rasped, kissing her temple. "Feels like home."


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a long ride and hopefully a satisfying one. Here is the final chapter of one of my favorite pairings.

 

_Epilogue_

* * *

 

Negan glanced at the rearview mirror to see the reflection of his daughter's little round face. She was napping peacefully, the little one completely oblivious to the things to come and her father's approaching mental meltdown.

They were on their way to the pediatrician's office, the baby girl due for a check up and shots. Kayla was home sick with the flu, the poor woman desperate for sleep and NyQuil. Negan felt comfortable enough to take his daughter in by himself. He hadn't done it before but Kayla had, how hard could it be? Or so he thought as they pulled into the parking lot of the low brick building. Negan glared at the structure like it was personally responsible for the diseases his girl had to be stuck for.

"Now, darlin'." He rasped, looking at his girl blink her eyes sleepily. "I want you to know I would do anything to keep you from needin' these owies but that ain't how it works."

Pulling the carrier from the car, Negan headed inside with a slow growing knot in his throat. He could feel a cold sweat break out as he signed in and when they called his daughter's name, he almost fled the office like a scared child.

The room was as welcoming as a doctor's office could be, but he couldn't help pacing with his girl nervously. Cupping her fuzzy head, Negan murmured against her soft temple. "You gotta be brave for daddy, darlin'. I'm not strong like your mother."

"Hello, how're we doing today?" The doctor greeted, her friendly face calming his nerves momentarily.

"Good doc.. well not Kayla, she's sick at home."

"Ahh. Daddy's first solo visit huh?"

Rolling his eyes, he bounced the baby a little, comforting himself more than the mild mannered child. "Yeah, Yeah. I'm pissin' my pants right now doc. Gimme a break."

Chuckling at him, the doctor instructed him to undress his daughter for an exam. He cringed as she squawked, her arms and legs flailing as she grew cold.

"Who's my brave girl?" He drawled, his hand cupping her head as the doctor tested her reflexes. "Yeah, you are. Oh darlin'... those tears are breakin' my heart."

Negan brushed away the big tear drops, while swallowing a vicious knot in his throat. He could feel his eyes burning as his little girl rioted against the stranger's touch. Once done with the physical portion of the exam, he was told they would be drawing blood and giving her a vaccine. His heart thudded painfully against his ribs as he watched them bring a tray in with syringes and gauze. Negan kept her close to his face, his lips brushing her cheek as he murmured, "Don't know how mama does it. She's stronger than me because I can't stand to see ya cry, sweetheart."

The alcohol wipe had her balling, the cries tearing her little throat up as they stuck her with the fine tipped needle. Negan choked back an urge to snarl at the woman doing her job. He wanted to push them away and save his girl from feeling anything remotely like pain. Nothing and no one should hurt her if he was around. He saw it as his responsibility.

"Breakin' daddy's heart," He rasped, his voice cracking as she gulped air and poured tears. The nurse gave him a tender smile, her eyes soft and understanding.

"She won't remember a thing." She assured, her hand patting his shoulder as he dressed the infant.

Dipping his chin, Negan continued to dress her quickly and cuddle her into his chest. He pressed his nose to her little neck and soothed her with his gravelly cadence. "I got you. Daddy's got you, sweetheart."

His daughter calmed down, her cries turning to whimpers before she fell asleep. Sighing in relief as she settled, Negan gathered their things before heading out. Nothing had ever made him feel so worthless than to watch his daughter hurting and be unable to do anything about it. Sliding his sunglasses on, he exited the office into the bright sunlight. Negan got his daughter settled into the back seat, securing her car seat into its spot. She was sleeping with a slight frown curling her pouty lips, her lashes still wet with tears. The sight just about killed him, his knees weakening and teeth grinding.

"Fuckin' hell." He growled, sitting down on the driver seat with a groan. "Turnin' into a giant pussy."

 

* * *

"How'd it go?" Kayla croaked from her pile of blankets in the middle of the mattress.

"You didn't tell me that it would be so damn hard." Negan huffed, sitting at the edge of the bed looking over Kayla's sleepy face.

"It's rough huh?" She rasped, tugging her blanket over her shoulder. "First time I cried as much as she did."

"I just about did." He sighed, raking a hand through his hair before asking. "You need anything, darlin'?"

"I'm good, handsome." Kayla murmured, her hand squeezing his a moment before tucking it back close to her face.

"I'm gonna get her all settled and I'll bring you something to eat."

"Thanks, baby." She slurred, her eyes dropping before she finished speaking.

 

* * *

"Thanks for taking care of me this week." Kayla sighed, her body relaxing into Negan's side as they both sunk into the sofa. Negan nuzzled his face into her damp hair and drawled, "My pleasure, darlin'."

"And taking care of Abby."

"Always." Negan purred into her neck, his mouth leaving a trail of hot, wet kisses. "I'll always take care of my girls."

"Mmm." Kayla sighed, her fingers curling into his t-shirt. "Baby?"

"Yeah?"

"Will you take care of me now?" she asked coyly, her hand smoothing across his broad chest.

"Whatcha need, sweets?" he asked gruffly, his tongue trailing across his bottom lip as he peered down at her. He was hornier than fuck, the last week of no sex with his hot little wife catching up to him tenfold. He wanted to bend her over something stationary and fuck the ever-loving hell out of her. Even when exhausted from being sick, she was sexy. Negan's mind began to drift filthy images of her naked and spread wide open for him, her greedy eyes peering up at him as her mouth begged for his dick.

"Wellll." Kayla drawled bringing him back from his dirty fantasies, batting her eyes in that way that got her anything she wanted. "There happens to be a pint of Haagen-Dazs in the freezer."

Negan chuckled lowly, his hand sliding under her shirt to feel the smooth skin along her back. "You just want me for my ice cream serving skills."

"Well and your ability to reach things on high shelves." Kayla quipped, her lips twisting into a smirk as he pouted dramatically.

"Damn, mama." He grumbled, tugging her playfully against his chest. "And I thought what we had was special."

 

* * *

Kayla was in her knees in front of him, her hooded eyes gleaming up at him while her pink lips stretched around the hard flesh in her mouth. Negan moaned deeply as she sucked him down her throat without a struggle, her tongue curling along the underside of his head with every plunge.

"Motherfucker." he growled as she hummed and moaned hungrily.

"Yes, you are." She joked with a wet smile, her hands stroking him sloppily.

"Goddamn it." Negan huffed as she swallowed him down again, his hands curling into her hair as his hips thrusted forwarded eagerly. "That's it. Suck that dick, baby."

The couple had limited time, the baby having been napping for hours now, would be crying any minute. They had little time between work and their infant, spending what private time they did get consuming each other like dope fiends. Negan couldn't get enough of Kayla's hot mouth and tight little body, he was never bored when it came to his girlfriend. He loved her so much that he'd bought a ring the moment he'd found out she was pregnant, but had yet to propose. Negan figured his procrastination stemmed from the loss of Lucille, his hesitation to go through any of the trauma of losing another wife. Kayla hadn't seemed to mind that she was pregnant out of wedlock though and as time passed, the easier it was for him to forget about the little wood box in his sock drawer.

It took a firm tug on his balls and a deep moan to make him cum like a teenager down her throat. Kayla swallowed several times, drinking him down as she peered up at him.

"Fucking hell." he whimpered as she released him from the hot suction of her mouth. "You are amazing, baby."

"You're just saying that because you have no blood in your brain." Kayla laughed, climbing to her feet as he tugged on her hand.

"No." he mumbled into her neck, sucking and kiss the warm flesh along her shoulder. "I'm saying that because you are everything I could ever want and more."

Kayla hummed at his words, squirming in his lap as he stroked and massaged her curves. "You're all I want too, handsome."

Negan flipped them over, pinning her to the bed as he lay between her legs. "Stay here." he ordered with a firm look.

"Okay." she chuckled, watching as he stood from the bed and wandered to the dresser.

Negan shoved his nerves aside and dug through his socks to find the little box now burning a hole in his metaphorical pocket. He needed to do it before he lost his nerve again. Climbing onto the bed, he settled between her thighs and held himself above her on his elbows. Palming the box in one hand he used the other to comb her messy hair back from her temple. He trailed his hand down her neck and arm to take her left hand in his. He kissed her palm and placed it over his heart, the ink below her hand warming to her touch.

"I want to always take care of you." he murmured, kissing her softly on the lips.

"I'd like that." she whispered back, her eyes soft and lips curled up.

"Yeah?" Negan biting his lip in thought.

"Of course." Kayla murmured, her hand curling through his chest hair. "I'll take care of you too."

Negan smiled at her, bringing the ring box from his side to place it between her bare breasts. Opening it up he showed her the small silver ring with its shiny diamond in the center. "You wanna make it legal and be my hot little wifey?"

Kayla's smile was wide and bright, her eyes sparkling with moisture. "I was wondering if you would ever show it to me."

"You knew about it?" Negan chuckled, pulling her hand from his chest to slid the ring onto her finger.

"I do your laundry." she laughed, holding her hand up to look at the new ring on her finger. "I found it months ago."

Negan rolled his eyes and bit his lip as he looked at her smiling up at him. "Is that a yes then, sweetcheeks?"

"Of course it is, dummy." She quipped, her laugh infectious as he tickled her sides. "How could I say no to my baby daddy?"

 


End file.
